“Am I interrupting something?”
We looked over to see Chris standing in the doorway. I hadn’t even heard her enter the house. This pregnancy had zapped my shifter senses.
“Not at all,” Caeden smiled. He walked to my side and placed a light kiss on my lips. “I’ll be back soon.”
When he was gone, I looked up to see Chris still standing awkwardly in the doorway. Her blonde hair had grown a bit longer since Caeden’s birthday, but it wasn’t as shiny and bouncy as normal. Her light green eyes weren’t as happy as they once were, but there was still a naughty glimmer in them that no amount of heartache could ever steal from her.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she forced a smile.
“Are you going to stand there the whole time he’s gone?” I asked.
“No,” a ghost of a smile lifted her lips. I patted the empty space beside me and she sat down awkwardly beside me.
“Here,” I handed her the remote, “I’ll even let you watch one of those annoying reality shows you seem to love.”
“Thanks,” she took the remote but didn’t change the channel.
I wasn’t one to force a conversation so I grew quiet, waiting for her to say something.
A little over an hour had passed when she turned the TV off and looked at me.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” My brows furrowed together. “For what? You haven’t done anything.”
“I got married.”
I choked on my own saliva. “What did you say? I don’t think I heard you right.”
“You did,” she held her hand out, showing me the intricate gold band that glimmered there. “After losing Logan, and knowing what we’re facing, Bentley and I decided that we didn’t want to wait.”
“I-I-I—” I didn’t know what to say. “Did you have a wedding?”
“No,” she shook her head. “If we had a wedding, I wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret. I’d want you to be my maid of honor. I know things feel…awkward between us. But I don’t want it to be that way. Logan dying wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, but I feel like you think I do.”
My lower lip trembled with the threat of tears. “But it was my fault.”
“Aw, Sophie,” Chris pulled me into her arms, stroking my hair. My tears stained her shirt as I sniffled. She shouldn’t have been the one comforting me. I was the reason her brother was dead.
I couldn’t stop the tears though. And I didn’t push her away.
* * *
Caeden
I stood in front of the grave with my hands shoved into the pockets of my shorts. This was the first time I’d been here since we buried my dad over a year ago. I hated being here. It made the fact that he was really dead and gone even more real. When I didn’t have to stare at his grave, I could pretend that he was just gone an extended trip and he’d be back soon. But death is one vacation you never return from.
“Hey, dad,” I mumbled, toeing the ground with my sneaker. “This is weird…talking to you like this doesn’t seem right…you know, since you can’t answer back.”
I tilted my head back, cracking my neck as I looked up at the clear blue sky.
“I felt like I should visit you though…I know mom and Bryce came to see you. And I didn’t. I’m sorry for that.”
I swallowed thickly, looking around the empty shifter cemetery. The elders kept the place looking nice, the grass was mowed and flowers grew in abundance. The cemetery was located in the middle of the forest, near the elder’s headquarters. It was exactly like a human cemetery, but we chose to bury our dead here and not with other humans.
“A lot has happened since you left us, dad. I met my mate. Her name is Sophie and she’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen,” I smiled, running my fingers through my hair. “We’re having a baby. I’m going to be a dad…that really blows my mind.”
I sat down on the grassy ground and stared at the headstone.
“Any advice for me?”
Of course he didn’t answer. I wished he would though. I had no clue what I was doing. Being an Alpha, a husband, and now a father…it was all a bit much. My dad had been amazing father to Bryce and I, as well as an exceptional Alpha. He wasn’t groomed to be an Alpha, but when his best friend, Sophie’s dad, left the position to him, he never looked back. Everyone respected him. He could be tough when he needed to be, but at the end of the day he had heart. I knew I wasn’t as good of a leader as my dad had been, but I was trying. I hoped I made him proud, wherever he was.
I picked up a blade of grass and twisted it between my fingers.
“I miss you,” I admitted, plucking up more grass and getting more dirt under my fingernails.
I sat there for a while longer, before I stood and headed back to my Jeep.
I wasn’t ready to go back home—I knew that was wrong of me, but it was true. Reading book after book, hoping for some information was getting exhausting. Plus, I was worried sick about Sophie and the baby. I was trying to hide my worry from her, but I knew Sophie saw through my façade. She had always been way to perceptive. It was one of the many reasons I loved her.
I started up the Jeep, following the dirt road back out to civilization.
Since I wasn’t ready to go home, I headed to my mom’s house.
“Bryce?” She called out when the front door opened.
“No, it’s me,” I replied, heading into the kitchen. The scent of homemade fried chicken filled the air, making my stomach rumble.
She turned away from the counter and a big smile spread across her face when she saw me. “Are you here for dinner?”
“I wasn’t planning on it but,” I sniffed the air, “I’m reconsidering.”
“I hope you stay,” she turned back to the counter and continued battering the chicken. “Where’s Sophie?”
“Home,” I shrugged.
She glanced at me over her shoulder and her brows raised. “I don’t remember the last time you two have ever been without the other.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” I leaned against the doorway, crossing my arms over my chest. “She’s on bed rest.”
“Bed rest?” She washed her hands, wiping them on a towel as she faced me.
“Yeah,” I shrugged, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I really needed to get it cut, but since getting my haircut was my least favorite thing ever, I avoided it at all costs. “Apparently since I’m an Alpha, and Sophie’s an Alpha, it can make the baby really strong. Basically, she’s draining Sophie. Lucinda said Soph might lose the ability to shift.”
“She? The baby’s a girl? I didn’t know you could find out the gender this soon.”
“Well, we don’t actually know,” I admitted. “I just think it’s a girl.”
“What if it’s a boy?” She smiled.
“I’ll still be happy. But it’s a girl. I know it.”
She laughed at me. “So, if you’re not here to eat, why are you here?”
“I needed to get away for a while,” I scratched my chin.
She frowned. “Want to talk about it?”
I squirmed. I was a guy, I never really talked to my mom about anything. But it was pack business that had gotten under my skin, so I should have been able to talk to her. But I was too scared about the possibility of a mole that I just shook my head. I’d never thought I would keep secrets like this from my mom. Thanks to Travis, I trusted no one. Except Sophie. Despite what I told her, I didn’t trust Nolan. I was testing him, trying to find loose strands to his story. So far though, he was solid. I just couldn’t figure out if he really returned because we heard we were in trouble. From the time we were boys, Nolan had always been secretive, and he was my friend and I wanted to trust him, but he had to earn it first.
“Not really,” I finally answered after the lengthy pause.
“You know I’m always here for you,” she smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
“I know,” I straightened, backing out of the kitchen. “I’m going down
to the basement.”
“Will you stay for dinner?”
“Maybe,” I shrugged.
“If you don’t I’ll package up some food for you to take home.”
“Thanks,” I said as I headed down the hallway. I opened the basement door and my feet thumped against the steps as I stomped down them.
I flicked the light on and the space illuminated. I grabbed a pair of mesh shorts and changed so I didn’t get my regular clothes all sweaty. I chose to forgo a shirt, knowing I would only drench it in sweat. I needed to work off some of my anger and confusion. For me, exercise was the best way to do that.
I got on the treadmill, forgoing a warm up since I didn’t need it, and ran at a full sprint. I could feel my muscles flexing and pulsing with the movement. Sweat dotted my skin, but I didn’t stop. I was running nowhere but in the process I was releasing my demons. I might never be okay again, losing my dad, nearly losing Sophie, and then having my pack members die had taken its toll on me. Maybe the elders were right and I was too ‘sensitive’ for this position. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and my knees were buckling under the pressure.
“Dude, slow the fuck down.”
“Watch your language,” I warned Bryce in a fatherly tone.
He came around the front of the treadmill and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Are your little virgin ears so sensitive to bad words that I must filter myself?”
“Words like that are disrespectful,” I panted.
“It’s just a word,” Bryce reasoned. “Saying it’s bad makes it bad.”
“What do you want?”
“Nothing. Mom told me to come down here and check on you. She said you were acting weird,” he picked at invisible dirt under his nails.
“I’m not acting weird.”
“That’s what mom said,” he raised his hands in surrender. “Want to spar?”
“Sure,” I answered, slowing the speed of the treadmill. Just before it came to a complete stop I hopped off.
We headed over to the mats and it was nice to have my mind only focused on the technicalities of sparring and not on anything else.
It felt good to release all this tension. Bryce didn’t say anything as I fought him harder than normal. Even he knew I needed this.
I threw a particularly brutal punch towards his face and his arm shot up to block it. Our heavy breaths filled the air, echoing around the basement. I got through his defenses and my fist slammed into his stomach. Anger flashed in Bryce’s eyes and he fought harder. Punch after punch, I let the pain consume me so I didn’t have to think about anything else.
Spent, we both fell onto the mat, looking up at the ceiling. Neither of us could catch our breath.
“Better?” Bryce asked after a moment.
“Much.”
“Boys?!” Mom opened the basement door and called down to us. “Have you killed each other?”
“Hardly,” Bryce answered.
“Caeden, I really hope you’ll consider staying for dinner,” my mom said, making me feel guilty. I needed to get back to Sophie, but it had been a while since I’d had a meal made by my mom. I would take Soph some leftovers so I didn’t feel too guilty.
“Sure, why not?” I sat up, draping my arms over my legs.
Bryce wrinkled his nose and stood up, staring down at me. “If you’re staying for dinner, you better shower, you stink.”
“Thanks, Bryce,” I chuckled.
“Just tellin’ you like it is,” he shrugged, taking his shirt off and rubbing his sweat off with it. “Not everyone can sweat and still smell this delicious,” he dropped his shirt on my face so I got a whiff of his body odor. That kid was never growing up, but I loved him anyway.
I threw his shirt at his back and he chuckled as he started up the steps.
Since the clothes I had been wearing were down here, I opted to use the shower here as well instead of going upstairs to what had once been my bedroom.
When I was showered and dressed, I jogged up the steps and into the kitchen. Mom already had the table set and my stomach rumbled.
“I’m glad you decided to stay,” she stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “I’ve missed you.”
Ugh, moms always knew how to make you feel guilty. I knew it had to be hard on her with me being gone. Dad wasn’t around, obviously, and Bryce was with Charlotte all the time. I’d hate being in this big old house by myself, so I knew she had to be feeling the effects.
“I’ve missed you too, mom,” I sat down at the table.
Bryce sauntered into the room like he was king of the world. “Where’s my dinner, woman?”
“The table,” my mom pointed, “where it always is, every single night.”
“I think Bryce is part alien,” I chuckled, tipping the chair I was sitting in back on two legs.
“He’s something else,” my mom shook her head, grabbing a glass of water and taking her seat.
“Alien standing right here, people,” Bryce pointed to himself, pulling out his chair. “Although, I think I’m okay being called an alien. Aliens are cool…if I’m an alien does that mean I get to probe people?”
My mom spat out her water all over the table. “Bryce!”
“What did I say?” Bryce asked innocently.
“Sometimes I wonder who raised you,” my mom wiped up the mess with a napkin.
“Wolves, mom. Wolves raised me,” Bryce said in a deadpan tone.
“You’re such a smart ass,” I snickered.
“Language, Caeden,” Bryce mimed my tone from earlier.
“Boys!” My mom yelled before we could argue further. I swear, she had to be more of a referee than a mom with us.
“This is delicious, by the way,” I chose to change the subject as I devoured the homemade fried chicken.
“It’s been a while since I made fried chicken, but I was cleaning the kitchen the other day and came across the recipe. I decided to give it a try to see if I could still make it.”
“You definitely succeeded,” I started on my third piece. “Mind if I take some back to Sophie?”
“Not at all. I actually already have some set aside,” she nodded towards the counter.
I stayed to help clean the dishes and then grabbed the food to take home. I cursed when I started my Jeep and saw the time. Christian was so going to kill me—not to mention Sophie.
I parked in the garage and hurried inside.
“Where have you been?” Nolan asked when I entered the house.
“How’s that any of your business?” I growled.
“So testy, Cay-berry,” he raised his hands in surrender as I passed him. I certainly wasn’t giving him an answer to where I’d been. He didn’t deserve one. He was always sneaking off and not telling me where he was going, so why should I tell him?
I made it to the master bedroom and opened the door to find a giggling Christian and Sophie. Christian had Sophie’s feet in her lap was painting the nails a pale pink.
“Caeden,” Sophie gasped, looking over to see me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay? You were gone a while.”
“I’m perfect now,” I stepped forward, placing a light kiss on her lips. I had been desperate to get away, but now, I wanted nothing more than to be right here with Sophie. I’d never thought I’d find the love of my life, but I did, and thank God for that.
Seven.
Sophie
I woke before Caeden, a rarity these days. I rolled to my side, studying the planes of his face. The lids of his closed eyes flickered and I wondered what he was dreaming about. I reached out, unable to stop myself, and traced my fingers over his lips. He let out a moan and my insides squirmed.
His eyes opened slowly and he turned to look at me. “Mornin’,” he smiled crookedly.
I propped my head up on my hand. “I love you. You know that, right?”
“Of course I know,” he reached up and cupped my cheek.
“I almost lost you on this very day a year ago,” I whispered sadly.
His eyes closed and he swallowed thickly as he remembered showing up at Gram’s on Halloween injured from Peter Grimm.
“I thought I was going to lose you before I even had you,” I admitted.
“Aw, Soph,” he gathered me into his arms. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you could have.”
“And so could you. I thought for sure Peter and Travis were going to kill you when you were kidnapped. I worried myself sick. It was the worst feeling in the world—thinking you were going to die and there was nothing I could do.” He kissed my forehead and inhaled my scent. Changing the subject, he said, “You have no idea how much I love waking up to the scent of cookies. You’re like my very own dessert.”
“Hardly,” I rolled my eyes. “So…since it’s Halloween and we live in the middle of nowhere, that means no kids trick or treating. But I want to do something.”
“I already decorated the yard and the house, what more do you want?” He smiled.
“I want to carve pumpkins and one for the baby,” my hand ventured down to the small bump my stomach had become. Most people probably couldn’t tell I was pregnant, the bump was so small, but I knew my baby was carefully nestled inside me and it gave me peace.
“Pumpkins? But it’s so messy,” he wrinkled his nose in distaste.
“I want to. Please?” I begged. Technically I wasn’t on bed rest anymore, but I had to limit my activities. The simplest things made me exhausted. I had left the house a few times, but since each time resulted in me sleeping for twenty-four hours so Caeden wouldn’t let me leave anymore—except for doctors appointments. But surely I could sit and carve a pumpkin.
He sighed and I knew he was caving.
“Please? I want to carve a pumpkin for the baby,” my fingers grazed back and forth over his chest.
“Fine,” he relented and I smiled triumphantly. “But you’re not going with me to get them. You can stay with Nolan.”
“I’m okay with that,” I said quickly. I knew there was no point in arguing about going to pick my pumpkin, because Caeden would never let me, and I was sorta sick of sleeping for a day when I went out.
He chuckled. “I didn’t know you could be so…agreeable.”
Avenger (Outsider Series) Page 5
