I chewed the inside of my cheek and stopped when I thought of my mother doing it earlier. “I crossed some lines too.”
“No, you didn’t. We’d all had a lot to drink, and Ethan and I started things. Anyway, it happened, and I can’t change that now. But I can make it up to you if you’d let me.”
I wondered if he wanted to change it. I didn’t. Did I?
“Is there something I can do to help you out?” Jesse asked when I didn’t answer. “Something to make amends?”
I was walking back up the steps to Lulu’s front door. I unlocked it, let myself in, and went to put the wine in the fridge. “I suppose I could use your help getting all my stuff to the farmer’s market tomorrow morning. I booked a table and will be doing some body painting.”
“Body painting?” he asked. “Damn, you haven’t done that in ages.”
“I know. But I have the itch. If you swing by tomorrow morning at six with your truck, you can help me get it all down there and set it up. Cool?”
“Cool,” Jesse agreed. “I’ll be there.”
“Okay. Then consider things even. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Jesse said.
Then I hung up my phone as the front door opened and Lulu came in. She called out a chipper hello, and I told her I was in the kitchen. She came in as I was closing the fridge, and I told her I had wine and was waiting on Thai food for us.
“You are the best,” Lulu said, clapping her hands together and bouncing up on the balls of her feet. “When will the food be here?”
I glanced at the clock on the stove. “Fifteen minutes.”
“I’m going to hop in the shower and change into some comfy clothes. Then I’ll be good to go. What do you think? Movie night?”
“Sure.” I smiled as she took off down the hall toward the bathroom. She was predictable as ever, and as she started up the shower, I knew she would return ten minutes later in her matching purple pajama set, wearing a face mask and hair conditioning treatment.
I waited on the sofa with a glass of wine and listened to Lulu sing in the shower. As she sang, I thought of Jesse coming to pick me up in the morning. I hoped it wouldn’t be weird between us. We had a long history that I didn’t want to have ruined because of Wednesday night, because of his fingers inside me and his teeth nipping at my skin.
I fanned my blushing cheeks and leaned back on the sofa. “You’re in so over your head,” I muttered to myself.
13
Jesse
When I pulled into the driveway in front of Lulu’s row house and put the truck in park, it was five minutes to six. The lights were on in the house, and there were already a couple boxes at the top of the driveway. All that was missing was a bright sticky note slapped to their front saying “Jesse’s Job.”
I got out of the truck at the same time as Ashley stepped out through the front door with a big plastic container in her hands. She hadn’t seen me yet, so I didn’t stop myself from checking her out. She was dressed in a floral-printed white dress that cut off at the middle of her thighs. It was tight from the waist up and hung off her shoulders in skinny straps. She looked beautiful, as always, and I wished there was a way to prolong the moment so I could admire her tanned legs a little longer.
Ashley put the box down and turned back to lock up the house. When she turned back around, she bent immediately to pick up the box.
“I can get that one Ash, just leave it there,” I called. The last thing I needed was her falling down the four steps from the door to the driveway. Then I’d really feel like an asshole.
Ashley glanced up. Her hair was in a ponytail, but some of the shorter strands were hanging loose at the sides of her face. She had no makeup on, and she looked bright eyed and fresh faced. Her smile was bright as she put the box down. “Good morning,” she called.
“Morning,” I said as I hurried up the stairs to meet her. I gave her a quick hug but pulled away quickly. I didn’t want her getting any ideas that my apology the night before had been anything but genuine.
“Oh, shoot. I made us coffees but left them on the kitchen counter. I’ll be right back.”
“You are an angel,” I said. “You go. I’ll start loading these into the truck.”
Ashley slipped back inside, and I began packing up the truck. There were about eight boxes of stuff. Some were decor for her setup, which always turned out to be the best-looking table at the market. The other boxes were her paint and supplies.
When she came back out, I nodded to the long white box along the right side of the bed of my truck. “I didn’t know if you already had a tent so I picked one up last night for you. It’s supposed to be a hot day, and I didn’t want you sitting without protection all day.”
Ashley ran her hand over my shoulder and handed me my coffee. “You’re always thinking of what’s best for me, aren’t you?”
I shrugged. “I can’t help it.” Which was quite true. I couldn’t. I’d never been able to.
“Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I hadn’t planned on going to the market, so it was pretty late notice, and I wasn’t able to track down a tent.”
We both climbed up into the front seats of the truck. I turned the ignition, and music filled the cab. Ashley rolled down her window as I pulled out of the driveway and drove toward the beach.
It was only a twenty-minute drive or so, and on the way, we talked about everything under the sun except for the moment we’d had outside the Lamp Post. If she wasn’t going to bring it up, neither was I.
I parked the truck as close to the beach as I could get and started the trek from the parking lot to her rented table, which was a good fifty feet from the shoreline. The sand wasn’t packed down, so my feet sunk with every step. I delivered the boxes, and Ashley set up her table.
She started with a multicolored table cloth that had silver coins hanging from tassels all around it. They caught the light of the sun and looked like little pieces of glitter. She had pictures which she put up in frames to showcase the art she was capable of with the supplies she had and the time frame. Each painting session cost the public fifty dollars and took her about half an hour.
I’d seen her at work before, and it was impressive.
Once the table was set up, I pitched the tent. Ashley had a banner that read “Body Paint” that I attached to the tent so people milling around the other tables could spot her from farther away. Then, when everything was set up, I grabbed the chairs I’d packed and put them on the backside of the table. We sank down into them, and Ashley shot me a white smile. “Thank you for all of this. I really appreciate it.”
“I’m glad I could help. And I’m glad you’re painting again. It’s been a long time, hey?”Ashley nodded. “Longer than I realized. Two years, maybe a bit more. Since before I moved to New York.”
“Why didn’t you keep it up when you moved away?” I asked. I was genuinely curious. Painting wasn’t something I thought Ashley would ever stop doing. She’d always been a natural, even when we were kids, and I had hundreds of memories of her sitting out in front of an easel in the backyard with a paintbrush in one hand and a palette of paint blobs in the other.
“I don’t really know. I think life just got really busy, and I started prioritizing all the wrong things.” She ran her hands over her bare thighs, and I wanted to reach over and do the same thing. The memory of how soft her skin had felt the other night came to life in my mind as Ashley continued. “I had plans of painting in New York. But Nick’s place didn’t have room for any of my supplies, and I didn’t want to take up any more space than I needed. He’d been living on his own for a long time and was making a lot of sacrifices to let me move in. Mind you, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have been so concerned with making sure I met all of his needs. He didn’t bother with any of mine.”
“He didn’t encourage you to keep painting? He knew how much you love it, right?”
“Oh, he knew. But he never thought it was anything serious. It wasn’t somethi
ng that could make money. And he was always concerned with how to make the bank account fuller.” Ashley shrugged and tucked loose strands of hair behind her ears. “He also had an uncanny knack of telling me I wasn’t good enough to be anything but a hobby painter. So, I guess I lost my inspiration with him shitting on me all the time.”
I hated that he’d said that to her. I hated that he didn’t nurture her and push her to do the things she loved.
Our conversation was cut short when people started coming by Ashley’s booth. She greeted them all with a sunny smile that melted the anger in my heart toward Nick, and soon, she had a line of people waiting for her to paint their bodies. She did faces, too, which was fun to watch, especially when she was working on kids.
A lot of teenagers in bikinis came to have things painted on their stomachs. The most common was teenage girls who wanted mermaid scales. Some guys wanted scars. Adults wanted all sorts of things, like painted on six packs or cleavage. Each person’s art turned out spectacular, and as the day passed, I marvelled at Ashley’s talent.
The booth started to slow down around five o’clock. I’d gone out and picked us up lunch and drinks to hold us over, and Ashley was sitting beside me, sipping her water.
“So, if you could do something businesswise for your art, what would it be?” I asked. She had to have given it some thought. It was her passion, after all.
She smiled faintly. “I’ve always thought about opening up my own studio.”
“To paint and sell or what?”
“To teach actually. I just want to create a space where students would be free to express themselves however they want, and I could guide their journey or help them find where their true talent lies. So many artists’ talents get squashed when they go to college or try to make their art into their business. It’s so easy to fall victim to conformity and become what you think the world expects of you. I’d like to teach a class where everyone just, you know, does their own thing.”
“Then you should do it.”
“It’s not that simple, Jesse.”
“Sure, it is. You’ve got the talent and the dream and a head on your shoulders with the smarts to pull it off. I don’t see what’s holding you back.”
Ashley looked at the water bottle in her hands and began picking at the label. “I’ve been teaching high school kids for a while now, and I think I’ve lost my confidence. They make me feel like such a—” She broke off and shook her head. “Saying it out loud sounds so silly.”
“Just say it,” I said.
She glanced up at me and chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she seemed to accept her fate, and she said, “They make me feel like a loser because they all think I’m a prude. I’ve spent the last few years being made fun of for being an inner-city substitute teacher, and my worst fear is that I’ll teach a class and be outed as a fraud. I’m worried that I’m not qualified enough to teach anybody anything.”
“Ash, come on. That’s crazy talk. They’re teenagers. They don’t know jack shit about what they’re talking about. And besides, I believe in you. You’re strong, driven, independent, and smart. If there’s anyone that can go after their dream and make it a reality, it’s you. I know it.”
Ashley leaned back in her chair but didn’t look away from me. She was smiling from ear to ear. “That’s the first time in a long time someone has said something supportive about my dreams.”
“Well, you’ve been hanging around the wrong people then.”
“I know. Nick was always putting me down. I think I’m coming to terms with him being in my past. It was hard at first, but the more time I have away from him, the more I realize how much better off I am without him.”
“I’m glad to hear it. But just because you know that now doesn’t make it any easier. You’re still grieving the loss of something you had for a long time. And I know what you’re like. You’re bad at letting people go.”
Ashley nodded. “I am.”
The sun was low over the ocean, and the sky was turning purple, with streaks of pink on the horizon. I patted Ashley’s knee and got to my feet. “Come on. Let’s pack this stuff in for the night.”
It didn’t take as long to tear everything down as it did to set it up. Within fifteen minutes, I had the truck fully packed up and was carrying the last boxes to the parking lot. Ashley was leaning against the side of the truck and looking out over the water as the sun began to set.
I closed the tailgate and nudged her with my hip. “You want to take a walk? Bet you haven’t seen a St. Simmons sunset in quite some time.”
“I would love that.”
And then we were walking along the shoreline. Ashley held her sandals in her hand and wandered up and down the line of the waves on the sand, letting it squish between her toes and leaving a trail of tiny footprints in her wake.
We didn’t have to talk as we walked. It was peaceful just being close enough to reach out and touch her. I was content to walk alongside her as she wandered into the water, letting it kiss her shins, and then come back up to me, all smiles and giggles as she told me each and every time how cold the water was.
But each and every time, she went back in. She was, and had always been, a lover of the sea.
We found a spot at the end of the beach that was a nice spread of smooth sand tucked away from everything else. It was boxed in with rocks reaching up on each side, and above was nothing but more rocky outcrops for about half a mile back to the main road that went around St. Simmons. We were completely alone, and it was great.
I dropped down in the sand and sat with my elbows resting on my knees. Ashley sat down beside me and crossed her legs, letting her dress cover her lap. She leaned back on her hands, and we watched the sun dip and vanish over the horizon, plunging everything into a brief, blue dusk.
Within minutes, darkness was creeping in. But it wasn’t a total darkness. The stars and the moon lit the sky above within no time, and soon, Ashley was snuggling up against my shoulder for warmth.
Was she thinking of Wednesday night like I was? Because since I’d seen her come out of Lulu’s front door that morning, I hadn’t been able to think of anything but the way her ass had felt pressed into my crotch and how wet and tight her pussy was. I cursed myself for having such a one-track mind, but I was powerless to her body.
“Jesse,” Ashley whispered, pulling my thoughts back to her.
When I looked over at her, her face was just inches from mine. She was looking up into my eyes and leaning in closer, and closer, until suddenly, her lips grazed by mine.
I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath, but when our lips touched, and her tongue slipped into my mouth, I sucked in a deep breath of her. She moaned softly, and I cupped the base of her neck and drew her closer to me.
Maybe she had been thinking about that night, as I had, and maybe, just like me, she wanted more.
14
Ashley
My tongue was in his mouth.
What had come over me? One minute, I was sitting contently beside him, watching the stars appear in the sky, and the next, I had lost all sense of control and given in to the desire that was burning up inside me. I’d gone for it without thinking, and one thing led to another. Now, his tongue was sliding along mine, and his hand was at the back of my neck, holding me to him with a sort of desperation that made me want to rip my dress off right then and there.
I had to slow this down.
But I so did not want to. This was exactly where I wanted to be, and we were doing exactly what I wanted to do. Lulu’s words rang in my ears and reminded me that it was time for me to just go after what I wanted. Go for it and get it and make it mine. Like Jesse. He could be mine. The way he was kissing me back suggested he wanted to be.
His other hand moved to rest on my thigh. My skin prickled with electricity under his warm palm, and I willed him to move it upward. He did. Slowly, his hand wandered up under my dress. My legs were still folded under me, and I didn’t try to adjust to a more ladyli
ke position. I waited, suckling on his bottom lip, as his fingers found my panties. Then he stopped, and my whole body ached fiercely.
His kiss became slower until he pulled away and looked me in the eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“What?” I asked breathlessly.
“This. You and me. Doing this.”
“Yes,” I whispered. I wanted this more than anything. His decency to slow things down and make sure I was all right only turned me on more. I reached down to where his hand lingered on the outside of my panties. I used my hand to guide his inside my panties until his fingers rested against my clit. Then I spread my legs for him in invitation.
He obliged. His mouth returned to mine with the kind of aggression I had been craving. His teeth crashed against my bottom lip, and the tingle of pain only excited me more as he rubbed my clit in quick semicircles. I whimpered, and he growled deep in his chest, and then he slipped a finger inside me.
My whole body sang with pleasure. He pressed in deep as he lowered me to my back on the sand. He still cupped the back of my neck in his other hand and held my head off the sand. Always the gentleman. He began finger-fucking me hard, and I could hear how wet I was. He slid in and out with ease, and soon, it was all I could do not to scream with ecstasy as my first orgasm in years exploded inside of me.
Jesse silenced my cry by sealing his mouth over mine, and as I came, he pushed another finger into me. I trembled beneath him as I rode out my climax. When our kiss ended, he straightened above me and went to his knees in the sand. He moved between my legs and pulled my dress up, up, and up until the fabric was gathered around my chest. I pulled it off the rest of the way. I wanted him to see all of me.
He knelt between my legs and stared at me. His jaw was tight and shadowed with dark stubble. His dark eyes looked almost black in the near darkness of night as he reached out and ran a hand up my belly and over my breasts. His touch wove up my neck and to my mouth, where he pressed his thumb to my bottom lip. I took it in my mouth and sucked.
Her Independence Day Page 8
