"If you put it like that, yes." Christie pressed her balled fist to her mouth, seeing joy turn sour. She had followed her heart and made a mess of it! "I’m sorry, I should have told you earlier. I was afraid."
Garrett pulled on a pair of jeans. Flat stomach, wide, muscled chest dusted with hair. She recalled each place on his body she had kissed. Each spot she shamelessly wanted to taste and explore again.
Garrett thrust his arms into a shirt, not bothering to snap it. "Afraid that I’d be angry?" His voice came out harsh and she threw her head back.
"There’s nothing else I can say. You needed to know." Her emotions were slipping past her control. "I didn't ask her any questions. I didn't know about you or Hannah." She took a deep breath. "There's no reason you should be angry, you know."
"Christie, this is a lob out of left field." He shook his head and came to stand next to her, his hand cupping her cheek for just a moment, but then he stepped back. "I have to go check on the buildings."
Christie watched him go. She looked around the room, remembered how safe she’d felt here a few short hours ago. She didn’t feel like the same person. Their lovemaking had changed her forever. Perhaps even now she didn’t know how much.
A deep, dark emptiness engulfed her. It had only taken one night to reach the grandest heights and then surely the depths of misery. Right now her soft heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces. It was no consolation that Garrett had to be feeling the same emptiness.
Chapter Fifteen
Garrett reached forward and lined up another block of wood. His wide-bladed axe sliced the air, splitting through the wood, sending pieces flying in opposite directions. He had energy to spare today. He couldn’t seem to expend it.
Hannah sat a safe distance away in the grass by her swing set, watching him act like the crazy, work-demented fool he’d turned into the last several days since the fire. Even Bo Peep seemed to be watching him with a wary expression in her soft brown eyes.
"Daddy, why do you work so hard?" Hannah asked now, lying with her chin propped in her hand.
Garrett reached for the steel thermos Hannah had brought him. Unscrewing the cap, he lifted it and took a deep gulp of water. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he reached for another block of wood and threw his daughter a glance. "It's got to be done. I might as well do it now."
"Is Christie the lady you’re going to marry someday, Daddy?" Hannah asked, reaching out as a butterfly flew past her face.
Garrett missed his mark and swore, then dropped the axe when it glanced off the side of his boot. Hannah was right. Why was he working so hard? Pulling off his leather gloves, he walked over to his daughter and dropped to the grass beside her.
"Why would you say something like that?"
"Well, because she's living with us again."
Garrett replied carefully, "Christie will be leaving soon. Her stay with us is just like a vacation of sorts, then she goes home to her own place. I’m glad you two are getting along better."
"At first I didn’t like her. I know why she had to come here, though. She was sad and wanted to see Mommy. It’s not her fault Mommy wasn’t here."
"Hannah, I’m glad you’re okay with Christie being here. I didn’t know how you would feel about her," he finished truthfully.
Hannah gave him a thoughtful look. "Christie is okay. She really cares about us." Her answer was off-hand and Garrett couldn’t get a handle on her expression. He looked up at the clouds skittering across the sky. Rain, he thought distractedly. The sky was clouding over for rain.
"If Mommy and Christie are sisters, how come they didn’t grow up together?"
Garrett took a deep breath. "Sometimes there are reasons families fall apart. I think that’s what happened in Christie and Mommy’s family."
"Did you love Mommy?" Hannah asked in a small voice.
Garrett stared at her, perplexed. How do you tell a child that even with the best intentions, love doesn't always mean forever?
"You mom will always hold a special place inside my heart, Hannah."
Hannah screwed her face up in a frown. "Why do you marry a lady?"
Garrett reached out an arm and pulled his daughter close. "A man and woman get married because they respect and care about each other. They want to spend the rest of their lives together and raise a family." Garrett felt his heart stop for a moment. The explanation had come so simply from his lips. He did respect and care about Christie.
"Why can't you marry Christie? Then she could be my mommy, couldn't she, Daddy? We could have babies too."
Garrett clenched his jaw, then relaxed it, determined to make it through these questions. "I know you miss Mommy," he said quietly. "That’s the way it is when you love someone and lose them, but we don’t just invite someone else to be a mommy, just because you like them."
Hannah shrugged her small shoulders and her voice dropped. "Nah, I guess not." She lifted a hand to touch his cheek. "If you got married Christie could stay."
Garrett gave a silent groan. His daughter was like a dog with a bone once she got something in her head. He stood and lifted Hannah into the air. He knew he was taking the easy way out, distracting her so she screamed with delight, but he felt bruised and didn’t think he could handle anymore mommy questions right now.
Since the smoke damage to the barn Christie had been staying at the house. He had insisted and was surprised when she yielded. Luckily, most of the damage had been minor, though who had started it still remained a mystery. All logic pointed to the fire beginning as they’d thought, but the painters swore up and down they hadn’t smoked in the barn after that one warning. Les Doyle had come to mind, but Garrett knew he was being unfair. Les might not be able to hold his drink, but he’d never done anything as serious as arson.
As for Christie, Garrett knew she spent time with Hannah, but he hadn’t seen much of her.
Christie had taken to staying out in the barns until late in the evening. Garrett didn’t like to see her working so hard but from all accounts she seemed to enjoy spending time with the horses.
Garrett rubbed the back of his neck. Even when he'd had the sole care of Hannah and struggled to bring the farm into the black financially, he hadn't felt this disoriented or lost. His concentration was off, and he didn’t like it one bit.
If Christie decided to leave there was nothing he could do to keep her here and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted her to stay. Despite his initial anger at her disclosure, a part of him also felt like he was being unfair. He'd wanted her each day and night since that one incredible night, but he'd been the one who erected the barriers.
Hannah climbed onto her swing seat. Garrett stood behind her and pulled the swing back. Over by the barn he could see Christie talking with Buddy. He clenched his jaw when Buddy grabbed her arm and leaned down to her. Christie laughed at whatever Buddy said and patted him on the back.
"Daddy, you can let go," his daughter said.
"Hang on tight." Watching Christie, he gave the swing a push.
Christie leaned down by the water spigot to get a drink. She laughed as Buddy playfully pushed her face into the water. Squatting down, she cupped her palms and splashed the water on her face and neck so that the water ran down her T-shirt. Garrett watched a smile of enjoyment spread across her face. He could almost hear her murmur of appreciation, a small sound she made deep in her throat. He remembered it from their night together. There was a lot he recalled from that night.
He rubbed a hand over his face, feeling the dryness of his mouth. As he watched, Christie sat down on a bale of straw and Buddy walked away into the barn.
He couldn’t seem to tear his gaze from her. She looked up once and seemed to look right into his eyes across the distance, but then she looked away as if she’d never seen him.
"She’s a good girl, that one." Ruth said from behind him, startling him.
He turned to Ruth. "Are you looking for me?"
His housekeeper raised her brows in
surprise. "Why no, Garrett. I’ve come outside to get a breather is all. I’ve been canning dilly beans all day and the kitchen is like a furnace. We might have to eat out on the terrace tonight. It’s like a breath of fresh air out here in comparison." Ruth fanned herself with one hand. Her gaze strayed toward the barn. "Buddy’s taken a fancy to our Christie," she added casually, "don’t you think? I heard him asking her if she’d consider moving into town when her month here is up."
"Our Christie?" Garrett looked at his housekeeper with a raised brow, wondering if he’d ever really known her. "When did you become an advocate for Christie?"
"Well, you have to admit she fits here. Seems like she’s been here longer than the short time she has, doesn’t it?"
"She’s been here less than a month," he said, giving Hannah another push on the swing.
"Christie is my aunt," Hannah said, clinging to the swing chains.
Ruth looked at Garrett with raised brows.
"Judith’s sister," he admitted in a low voice. "I wanted it kept quiet until it was confirmed."
"I suppose you played it safe and had Randy check her out."
"Of course. I can’t take any chances."
"I admit at first I wasn’t too sure about a city gal -- but Christie’s all right," Ruth said with a definite nod. "She pulls her own weight. She’s even won Hannah over."
"You’re happy because she knows how to do her own laundry," Garrett said dryly.
With a stern look Ruth slapped his arm. "Garrett McIntyre, you know Christie is a good girl. Do you know she took out that old typewriter that was stored in the hallway closet and typed up my medical forms for me? I hate dealing with those insurance companies and their hard-to-read forms. It’s all changed since I left the business. I get all mixed up. I’m not butting in but you just make sure you treat her right."
"Thanks for not butting in," he said dryly. She would skin him alive if she knew how he wanted to treat Christie. How he had already treated her. "She’s leaving in two weeks," he said.
"Do you want her to stay?" Ruth asked in her direct manner.
Yes.
Ruth lifted a brow and chuckled. "That’s what I thought."
Had he said that out loud? "Some things aren’t that simple," he muttered. "She’s got her own life back in New York and I’m sure it’s a far cry from anything we’ve got down here. She might not like it after six months or a year."
Ruth shook her head in what looked like despair. "Garrett, haven’t you learned anything in your thirty-one years?"
"Thirty," he corrected irritably.
She waved a hand. "Whatever. Women need to feel wanted. Some of us need the words. Sometimes you have to take a chance and go out on that limb. God knows there’s no guarantee in this life."
Abruptly, Ruth turned and walked back to the house, and he could hear her muttering about thick-skulled men.
Garrett watched her go with a frown.
"Daddy, you stopped pushing." Hannah’s voice brought him back from his thoughts. Hannah hopped off the swing and reached her arms around him and squeezed tight. "That’s okay, Daddy. I was through anyway." Garrett looked down into his daughter’s happy face and dropped a kiss on her soft cheek. For Hannah, it was so simple. Why couldn’t it be as simple for adults?
###
Having finished her chores Christie sat on a bale of straw beside the barn. Her thoughts felt scattered. She had tried, unsuccessfully, to block that glorious night with Garrett from her mind. She didn’t think she’d ever forget how he’d made her feel. Cherished and special. He had opened her eyes to more than one experience. She had to let it go, but how do you wipe love from your heart?
She had come to a decision about where to scatter Ellen’s ashes. In the end it had been so simple and obvious. The meadow on Garrett’s property was the perfect spot. She had known it the first time she’d seen it. Then, it had become doubly important to her when Garrett had gathered a bouquet of flowers from that meadow. She knew Ellen would have loved it too. Since this used to be Judith’s home, in Christie’s mind it pulled them all together.
Once she scattered the ashes, there was nothing to keep her at Winding Creek Farms. She and Garrett weren’t exactly talking at the moment which made the situation awkward and strained. Christie chewed on the corner of her thumbnail.
Everything had changed. He looked like he'd been carved from stone. She couldn't talk to anyone in the barn without giving herself away, not even Ally, whom she'd become friends with. They’d shared some confidences, but this felt too close to home and Ally was herself in the throes of a new relationship with Randy. Christie knew she was on her own.
"Christie, so are you going with us tonight?" Buddy asked, exiting the barn with Ally following close on his heels.
"A night out on the town sounds good, doesn’t it?" Ally said with a grin. "No work tomorrow, so we can hang out and have a good time."
"What time are you leaving?" Christie lifted the weight of her hair off her shoulders.
"Around six." Ally looked at her watch. "About two and a half hours. We’ll take two cars. You can ride in with Buddy and I’ll meet you guys over to O’Malley’s."
"Sounds like fun." Tossing Ally a deliberately lighthearted smile, Christie said, "This might be the last time we can get together before I leave." The weight of Christie's emotions threatened to depress her, but she defiantly tossed back her hair. She wouldn’t chase a man who’d made it clear there was no place for her in his life. She’d done what she felt was right, not only when Judith had contacted her but also in telling Garrett.
"There’s Garrett now," Ally said, looking past her. "I’ll see if he’s free. Maybe he wants to ride into town with us." Ally turned away and Christie felt her heart sink down to her toes. How could she and Garrett pull this off? Spend a night together, out with others ...
"Hey, Boss!" Ally called out. "Christie, Buddy and me are going into town for a steak and a few beers. Are you game for a night out?"
Garrett walked over to where they had gathered. Christie looked at him, thinking he looked tired and hot. Just a little while ago she’d watched him split wood. His wide, muscled shoulders under that white T-shirt had brought back memories of how good he looked without a shirt. Tightly muscled arms and the strength of his arched back as he swung the axe over his head had made her feel hot.
A sudden thought hit Christie and a ray of hope made her sit up straighter. Could he be as miserable as she was?
Garrett gave each of them a nod. Was it her imagination or did his glance linger on her just a bit longer? Christie clasped her hands tightly.
"Thanks, but I’m getting behind on some paperwork so I’ll have to pass. Where are you off to?" he asked casually. Again, Christie swore his glance lingered on her. She gave him a tentative smile, then called herself a fool for caring.
"We’re going to introduce Christie to some of the nightlife. She’s riding in with Buddy and I’m going to meet up with them later."
Garrett’s glance at her seemed casual, but she saw the emotion in his eyes for just the briefest moment. He cared. "Maybe I’ll make it next time. Have fun."
"We will," Christie said with a bright smile. She turned to Buddy. "I’ll meet you out here later." She threw Garrett a cursory glance, pretending her heart wasn’t breaking in two. "See you, Garrett." She hurried away from the barn before the hurt became too unbearable.
###
Les chugged another beer back, then wiped his mouth with his hand. From his corner in O’Malley’s bar he’d been watching that woman of McIntyre’s for the last half hour, but the two she was with kept pretty close tabs on her. He planned to get her alone one more time and warn her off for good this time. Les pulled out his wallet and looked at the meager bills inside. If he didn’t run her off he knew Kim would be out of a job big time. McIntyre might not hire his Kim back at all if he took a permanent fancy to that other one.
Les had a notion the doctors were babying Kim, making her stay off the ankle, bu
t she’d told him every day she felt stronger. Christ, he’d just about wanted to puke when she told him she’d gone down to apply for food stamps. He wasn’t taking any charity. No way. Les banged his glass on the bar top, but it was just noisy enough the bartender didn’t hear him. Les narrowed his eyes in the smoky interior and wondered if maybe the bartender was ignoring him. Everybody in this town seemed to have an attitude about one thing or another. He wondered why he’d stayed around this long.
Les grabbed his change and pocketed it, not bothering to leave a tip.
###
Christie took another sip of her soda and glanced around the crowded room. O’Malley’s had turned out to be an old bowling alley turned into a bar and pool hall. She’d enjoyed several games of pool that she’d played really badly, but Buddy hadn’t seemed to mind. Now, having sunk her fourth eight ball and losing the game again, she walked over to their table while Buddy went to the bar for a refill.
Ally had been waylaid and was over by the bar talking with some friends. She and Buddy had shown her a good time. They’d had thick steaks and fries and she’d been introduced to just about everyone in the bar. Being a local hangout, everyone seemed to know each other, a fact which never ceased to surprise her, having lived in an impersonal city her whole life.
Christie lifted her soda and chased the straw around the glass for a moment before catching it and taking several deep swallows. Looking around the crowded room, she suddenly felt as if she were being watched. Casually, she scanned the room, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves in their own corner. Shrugging off the feeling, she left the table and walked across the popcorn-strewn floor. As she moved past a narrow corridor towards the ladies room, a hand reached out and roughly latched onto her wrist. Another hand covered her mouth and in the shadowy corridor she was half-pulled, half-dragged backwards. Off balance, she couldn’t get her footing. A door opened and she was yanked outside into the night air.
The steel door clanged shut and she managed to get her feet under her. Sweat and alcohol swirled around her nostrils. Frightened, she bit the fleshy part of the palm covering her mouth, shoving a hand upwards towards the man’s face, the heel of her hand hitting his nose a glancing blow. He cursed, his hold slackened and she swung around and lurched away. She stared into Les Doyle’s face, her chest heaving with fear as he blocked the doorway. A quick glance over her shoulder showed a fence and a dark alleyway.
Echoes From The Past (Women of Character) Page 20
