He stepped back, but his eyes remained locked with hers for countless seconds. Christie felt too muddled to read what might be there in the deep seriousness. Slowly, the sounds of the crowded room once more impinged on her ears.
Self-consciously, she looked around, but no one seemed to be paying them any special attention. Even Randy had disappeared, no doubt in search of Ally. Christie wanted to ride the feeling of that kiss for another few minutes. Ride it until reality intruded.
"Will you come with me, Christie?" He held his hand out, palm up. "I'd like to introduce you to my friends. Ally mentioned she started the introductions, but I’d like to pick up where she left off."
Telling herself this didn't change anything, yet feeling as if her life was taking another turn, Christie twined her fingers with Garrett’s. In that moment, with the memory of his mouth on hers, she might have followed him anywhere.
"We need to talk Christie." As if he couldn’t stop himself, Garrett dropped another leisurely kiss on her mouth. Christie could barely breathe, but she knew her eyes had to be saying what her heart felt. There was something different about him.
"Tonight," he promised.
###
Several hours later Christie stared at her flushed face in the restroom’s bathroom mirror. Quickly, she wet a paper towel and wiped her hot cheeks with water. What an unbelievably fun party! Garrett had persuaded her to dance most of the night.
The band had sounded wonderful and for the first time in a long time Christie had felt the music flow through her. She and Garrett had danced so well together. Fast dances, two steps, line dancing which she knew nothing about but she’d been game to try. Right now the flow of adrenaline still raced through her veins. She hadn’t wanted the music to end. Christie recalled the look in Garrett’s eyes, the heat and promise he made no effort to hide.
She gripped the edge of the sink, waiting for the accelerated beat of her heart to even out. The excitement inside made her want to sing and shout. She couldn’t keep still. "I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I love him."
"Some things are meant to be, you know."
With a muffled cry, Christie swung around.
"Ally!"
Ally grimaced. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was in the bathroom stall."
"I was just talking to myself, it didn’t mean anything," Christie murmured, knowing her cheeks were bright red.
Ally lifted a brow, but her eyes were kind. "If you love Garrett, don't let him go. The man you love is worth fighting for."
Christie leaned back against the counter. She put her head back and looked up at the ceiling. "That sounds like an old cliché, but to quote another one, sometimes it’s easier said than done."
Ally nodded somberly. "You’re right, and I’m a fine one to give advice."
Christie lifted a brow. "You and Randy?"
Ally’s eyes flashed with excitement and then she looked miserable. "That man is going to be the death of me yet." She leaned over the sink to wash her hands. "At least with Garrett it’s easy to see where you stand. He’s so crazy about you. The man never takes his eyes off you."
Christie swallowed her surprise.
"Randy is another story, but I’ve decided to take him at his word and take the plunge. He says he’s serious and he wants to settle down."
Thinking of Randy’s plans to buy a small farm, Christie said warmly, "I don’t think you’ll be sorry. Does this mean marriage?"
Ally laughed, and her eyes had lost their earlier sad look. "Hell no, not yet. I’m talking a long engagement. I can’t let go of all my hang-ups at once, you know."
"I wish things were that easy for Garrett and me."
"They are. You’re both single, attracted to each other. There’s nothing standing in your way."
"I wish that was so." Christie gave Ally a rueful glance. "You’ll probably hear it sooner or later. The big thing between us is Judith."
"She’s gone, and Garrett’s better off without her."
"She was my sister."
Ally looked shocked, then embarrassed. "Damn me and my big mouth. I’m sorry, Christie."
"You were just telling me the truth. I was young when she left, I barely remember her, but it’s like she’s standing between us."
"Honey, only if you and Garrett let her. He was over her a long time ago. Don’t hang onto her ghost at the cost of your happiness." She pressed Christie’s shoulder. "Eventually, things will come out right for you and Garrett, you’ll see. But in the meantime, I sure as heck wouldn’t kick the boss out of my bed."
Chapter Seventeen
Garrett offered Christie a ride home. When Hannah smiled at her and said "pretty please," Christie was truly lost under the spell of the entire evening. Why refuse when she wanted to be in his company?
"Let me find Darrell," she said. "I got a ride in with him."
"I told him earlier I’d give you a ride if you needed one."
"Oh." Christie wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Was Garrett so confident of her that he could make that decision?
"Eric was tired so they left about an hour ago."
She’d been having too good a time to notice Darrell or anyone else leaving.
It was almost midnight and most of the party had broken up. Christie should have been exhausted but she still rode the earlier high of dancing with Garrett, meeting his friends and being included in his family circle.
On the way home, with Hannah buckled between the two of them and sound asleep, Christie knew she had to speak with Garrett about the decision she’d made. "You know why I came to Kentucky."
He glanced at her then returned his attention to the road. "Yes."
"I’ve decided the closest I’ll be to fulfilling Ellen’s last wish is to leave her ashes here."
The atmosphere in the truck changed subtly. Tensely, Christie grips her hands in her lap.
"I’d like to scatter Ellen’s ashes on your property."
"The meadow?" he asked quietly.
Christie tried to see his face but the night was dark all around them, not even a streetlight offering any light. Some of the tension eased from her shoulders. "Yes. I guess I’m not surprised you know."
"I’ve seen how much you love that meadow."
"It’s so in tune with what Ellen would have wanted. What do you think?"
He sighed. "Of course, Christie. I know how important it is to you."
Relief filled her. She relaxed fully against the seat, feeling slightly dazed now that it was almost over. She had Garrett’s consent, and in the end, it had been so easy. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"I think I might," he said quietly.
Christie looked up at the sky.
It’s time to be at rest, Ellen. Time to let everyone find peace.
"So where do you go from here, Christie?" he asked, his voice low and intent.
She looked at his profile, momentarily highlighted by the headlights of a passing vehicle.
"Are you leaving once you scatter your sister’s ashes?" he ground out, as if the words were torn from him. "I want you to stay."
"I can’t seem to focus on that until I take care of Ellen’s ashes." She fiddled with the door handle. "It seems to be common knowledge that we, uh, have feelings for each other. Of course," she added dryly, "after that kiss tonight, anyone wouldn’t have to guess."
Garrett turned onto a two-lane highway. "For the record I never worry about anyone else’s opinion. Are you concerned about what others might think if you stay on here?"
"Others ... meaning who?"
"Darrell."
Christie shot him a surprised glance. "Why should I care what Darrell thinks?"
"He came all this way to see if you were okay. It sounds like there’s something really intense between you two."
Christie sat bolt upright. "Believe me, there’s nothing between Darrell and I, just some unresolved stuff that involves my sister and of course, my nephew." Christie swallowed h
ard, deciding to get some of it off her chest. "Most of the time we’re barely civil to each other. I can’t seem to deal with this anger I have toward him. I’ll grant you he seems different than he used to be but I don’t know if the change in him is real. He said he’s sorry for abandoning my sister and he’s a good father to Eric, but there’s just something sticking in my throat when I look at him."
Garrett ran a hand through his hair and nodded solemnly. "Sometimes it’s nearly impossible to forgive the hurt, but if you hang on to it, after awhile that’s all you’ve got." He heaved a deep breath. "Look at Les. He’s not the first man to lose his job, but he lets it eat at him instead of looking for another job. The way he’s treated you is proof of him trying to shift the blame for the mess he’s made of his life. Now he’s hip deep in trouble and I don’t know how he’ll ever get out."
Christie pondered his words. "You’re right. The anger’s balled up in a tight wad inside." She lowered her voice. "Sometimes I’m afraid what will happen if I release it. Maybe I’ll go off the deep end and snap. The idea of a total loss of control terrifies me. All my life I’ve always tried to do the right thing, but sometimes I wonder if I’ve been too rigid, maybe even unfeeling."
He pulled the truck into the farm’s driveway and drove up to the front of the barn. Turning off the engine, he turned to face her, his arm along the back of the seat. "Take care of Ellen’s ashes in whatever way you’re comfortable with. Once your mind is at ease, let’s see if there’s a way we can meet in the middle. I'll admit right out I want you to stay, Christie. I’m sorry for blaming you for helping her leave. That wasn’t right and I’m ashamed of myself.
"My marriage with Judith near the end was pretty bad, but I made my own share of mistakes. I've seen the other side of the coin, too. I know people can be happy together." He grinned and shook his head. "Hell, look at Ruth and Sam. They’re as happy as can be. If you knew Sam before he hooked up with Ruth, you’d wonder how Ruth had the nerve to look twice at such a surly guy."
His hand touched her shoulder. "What I’m saying is, caring about you is important to me, and that caring involves looking out for each other. Are you game?"
For the first time in days, Christie felt a ray of hope. Her thoughts raced wildly. Could it be possible to find such happiness? "I want to stay, but I can’t move forward until I resolve the past."
"Fair enough. So let’s set about resolving the past."
Christie looked at him in surprise. "You make it sound so simple." She looked out the truck’s wide windshield. "There is nothing simple about my past."
Garrett reached a hand behind her head and gently pulled her toward him, careful not to jostle his daughter. Christie liked the way his mouth touched and lingered on hers. His kiss generated heat all the way through her body. Garrett said he wanted her to stay, at least until they figured out if things could work.
Christie had always relied on herself. That way, there was no room for disappointment or hurt. Could she trust Garrett? What if he changed his mind again? Slowly, she sank back into her seat.
"Christie, I know I hurt you," he said, his voice deep with regret. "And saying I’m sorry seems pretty inadequate, but I regret how I acted. Please think about staying."
"I have to tell you," she murmured doubtfully, "I’ve always taken care of myself. It’s been easier than relying on someone else." She searched his face in the dim light. She wanted to hold his words close to her heart, hoping that if they both acted responsibly, they wouldn’t hurt each other. Would the instability of her past always make her question what he said?
"It’s hard to stop a lifetime of fears and worries." When she looked at Garrett she had the crazy notion to throw caution to the wind. Her heart and soul demanded that she let him talk her into staying. How she wanted to believe that he’d never hurt her again. Could anyone live up to such a promise? Sometimes being hurt just went along with the package, but then, so did forgiveness.
"I uh -- I have something for you." She smiled at him and unzipped the backpack she’d stashed behind the seat. "Ally let me borrow her backpack." Carefully she lifted out a tissue wrapped rectangle and held it out to him. "This is for you."
With his surprise evident, Garret took the package and pulled the tissue wrapping away to reveal the simple framed photograph of Hannah.
"Ally had that developed for me. I thought you’d like that picture of Hannah and the puppies."
He smiled at her. "It’s perfect. Thank you." He placed his hand behind her neck and urged her close to him, his mouth sure and wanted on hers. Christie savored the kiss. Heaven.
Hannah signed, then mumbled in her sleep. Garrett gave a soft laugh, opened his door and leaned in to lift his sleeping daughter from the truck. "She’s exhausted." Looking at Christie over Hannah's head, he said, "Thanks for coming tonight."
"It was fun. I like your family and your friends."
"Would you like to go dancing some night? There’s a few decent places in town."
"That sounds like fun." She’d love to be close to him as they danced. Reluctantly, she turned away, knowing she had to get up early in the morning. "Goodnight Garrett."
"’Night, Christie."
Before she entered the barn, Christie looked back at Garrett across the shadowy driveway. "Happy birthday." On impulse, she blew him a kiss. He laughed aloud and she told him to hush, he would wake Hannah. Christie slipped inside the door, excitement thrumming in her veins. She wouldn’t let him go. That knowledge wound around her and became a conviction.
###
Late the next day Christie walked her apartment floor, then sat in her rocker and rocked furiously. Standing, she paced once more and stared out her window. Darrell was in the yard below where Hannah and Eric were playing on the tire swing. Christie put her arms around herself, enjoying the sound of Hannah and Eric’s laughter on the late afternoon air.
She wiped her damp palms on the back of her jeans. She had asked Darrell to come up to her apartment. She wanted to tell him her decision regarding Ellen’s ashes. She hoped he and Eric would be a part of this but she expected an argument. Having come this far, she wouldn’t back down, but she was nervous.
Finally, there was a knock on the wall outside her door.
She stood by the window, feeling curiously unsettled. She turned to see Darrell standing in the open doorway.
"You still leave your doors open?"
She shrugged, unwilling to discuss something they both already knew.
Darrell leaned against the doorjamb. "Eric asked me if you’re going back with us." He crossed his heels. "Are you?"
"No."
He lifted a brow. "I guess I can wait a couple more days, but I’m due back at work by the end of the week so you have to be ready by then."
Steadily, she said, "Garrett has asked me to stay and I’m seriously thinking about it."
Darrell walked across the room to her, his eyes narrowed. "You’re going to take him up on that offer? Christie, I can’t believe you!"
"Lower your voice, Darrell. Sound travels and I really don’t want --"
"Christie, first you take off without saying where you’re going! Now you’re thinking of staying here so you can hang out with Judith’s husband?"
"It’s not like that."
"How long do you think this will last?" Darrell sank down into her rocker and put his hands on his knees. He stared at her like she was a stranger. "When did you get to be so selfish? I’ve never seen you act this way."
Christie clenched her fingers together. "What way, Darrell? Thinking only of myself? Maybe it’s time I started doing that."
"Eric is your nephew, what if he needs you and you’re too busy down here having a good time?"
"He’s your son, the judge gave you custody. You act like you’re mad I’m staying, but it has nothing to do with you!"
"You’ve said that before, but it does have something to do with me. I feel responsible," he added gruffly, surprising her. "Ellen would have wanted me to l
ook out for you. Do you really want to stay in the middle of nowhere? How can you think about throwing everything away? Your life is in New York. It’s where you belong."
"What am I throwing away?" She asked in exasperation, walking away from him. "An empty apartment? A job where I spend all day in family court being reminded of what people do to a child in the name of love?" She lowered her voice. "What’s so crazy about being with people who care about me? I love it here. I feel at home in a way I’ve never felt before. Everything out here is so fresh and green."
"It’s new. A novelty!" he snapped, his voice disparaging. "This is a nice place, but it’s also the first time in twenty-five years you’ve been out of the city. Ellen used to say you were city through and through. You’ll miss it in no time flat." He looked around the room. "Look at you now, staying in this place over a barn. You don’t belong here. You don’t belong with him. I’ve been talking to people who knew Judith. She couldn’t hack it, what makes you think you can?"
"How dare you interfere! You had no right asking about my sister. And you’re wrong." Christie held back her temper. Why did he think he could tell her what to do? "Where do you think I belong, Darrell?"
"With us in New York." Darrell stood up and walked quickly to her. "You'd be there for Eric."
She shook her head. "I can visit." She took a deep breath. "I am choosing to stay here."
"Hell, Christie, until six months ago you were an A student at one of New York’s most prestigious law schools." He narrowed his eyes. "Have you told your cowboy that bit of news? He’s got a nice place but it’s nothing compared to what you could do."
Christie pressed her palms together tightly. "That’s what I wanted six months ago. Maybe I don’t want that anymore."
"You’re throwing away your scholarship?" he asked incredulously.
"I’m not throwing anything away." Christie paced the floor restlessly, hugging her arms around her waist. "This isn’t why I asked you to come by," she said abruptly. "I know you don’t like the idea of scattering Ellen’s ashes, but I’ve found a wonderful spot. I would like you to be there tomorrow at four. Maybe once we put this behind us, we can get along together as a family."
Echoes From The Past (Women of Character) Page 23
