by Kira Ward
“Like what?”
“A loving mom and dad. Brothers who only tease their sisters because they don’t truly appreciate how much they really love each other?” I glanced at her. “You realize that no family is really that perfect.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Just because your dad’s an asshole…”
She shook her head, but she didn’t say anything.
“I just mean that these movies aren’t as realistic as they could be.”
“Wasn’t your family a happy one?”
“Yeah. Until my dad was hit by a drunk driver on his way home from the grocery store.”
I took another bite of my taco even though I knew she was staring at me. I’d never mentioned my dad to her before. I don’t know why. And I don’t know why I just blurted it out that way. It was kind of cruel, I suppose. But I didn’t want her all feeling sorry for me about something that happened years ago.
“Do you think we could have a happy family?”
I nearly choked on my food. I set the plate on the table next to hers and swallowed hard.
“What do you mean?”
She just shrugged. “I don’t know. You don’t believe in happy families and I definitely don’t have an example to emulate. Do you think it’s possible either of us could ever have a happy family?”
My heart was pounding. I had thought…well, I don’t suppose it mattered what I thought. It was clearly not the same thing she was thinking.
I took her hand and tugged her into my arms.
“I think life is what you make of it. If you want to have a happy family, then I suppose it’s possible. I didn’t mean that it wasn’t. I just meant it was unlikely, especially the way these movies show them.”
“Do you want children?”
I didn’t honestly know how to answer that. I sat still for a moment, stopped stroking her back for a moment.
“I’ve never really thought about it before. I suppose someday.”
“But not now?”
“A month ago, I was bringing home drunk girls and entertaining the police in my living room. I’m not sure now is a good time for me to think about the responsibility of raising a whole new life.”
She nodded against my chest. “I guess that’s true.”
“We have our whole lives ahead of us, Sloane. Why are you asking about all this now?”
“I don’t know. I guess everything that’s going on with my parents…”
I kissed the top of her head. “We’re not your parents.”
She didn’t answer me. She just curled up against me and, after a little while, her breathing slowed and deepened. She was asleep.
I just held her for a little while, loving the way she fit in my arms.
Would I want to have a child? I really didn’t know. But if Sloane was the mother…an image suddenly flashed through my mind, a little girl with dark hair like mine and green eyes like Sloane’s. And a smile that could break hearts. Wouldn’t that be something? A little girl to spoil rotten. I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. Would my mother have the last laugh if I settled down, had a kid, and went to work for Waterston, Inc.? It’d be playing right into her hands.
Strange thing was, it didn’t sound all that bad.
Chapter 26
Sloane
I paced for so long, I’m surprised I didn’t burn a hole in the carpet of my living room. I slipped out of Major’s warm bed to come home and take the pregnancy test. I’d put it off for days, hoping my period would just suddenly appear. There’d been some spotting after the other night, but it stopped as quickly as it started. And that scared me more than taking the test did.
What if something was wrong? What if I was pregnant and rough sex had done something to hurt the baby?
I wasn’t sure what I wanted more: for the test to be negative or for it to be positive.
I didn’t know. I kept thinking about it, and the idea frightened me, but then I would think of a perfect little boy who looked like Major, and my heart just melted. It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
Except for the fact that Major didn’t want kids. Not yet, anyway.
I asked him. I finally got up the nerve to broach the subject, and he was so eloquent about it. At the time, it sounded reasonable, what he said. But now? What if he really didn’t want kids? What if I told him, and he gave me money to get an abortion? It’s not like he hadn’t already suggested it.
What did he say that night, all those weeks ago? “If something comes of it, tell me. I’ll take care of it.”
That wasn’t very encouraging. And then, just a week or so ago, he said it wasn’t like we were getting married. That he’d have plenty of time to do stupid things. Those weren’t the words of a man who was ready to deal with a pregnancy surprise.
But there was really only one way of finding out. I needed to know if there was such pregnancy.
With a deep breath, I finally went into the bathroom and opened the bag I’d hidden days ago. Inside was a simple test in a box much too big for the stick it held. I quickly scanned the directions and did what it said, down to the letter. And then more waiting.
I went into the bedroom and curled up on my bed, thinking about Major on the other side of that wall. He asked me last night if I could go anywhere in the world, where would it be.
“San Francisco,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to see the Golden Gate bridge.”
“Not Paris? London? Rome?”
“I’d like to see all those places, too. But I’ve never been outside of Texas. I’d really like to see the Golden Gate Bridge.”
I expected him to laugh at me, but he just looked thoughtful. That was the way Major was. He thought he had it all figured out. And when he didn’t, it threw him for a loop. That’s one of the things I loved the most about him.
Love. Yeah, I’d said it. I was falling in love with him and I hated myself for it. My first truly grown-up relationship, and I was in love less just over a month in. What would he think if he knew that?
I was such a child. When was I going to learn? Adults don’t just fall in love with the first guy who makes their toes curl during sex. They give it time, get to know the guy, get to know his family, meet his friends and—hopefully—got their approval. But I’d never met Major’s family, didn’t even know his dad was dead until recently, and I’d only met one of his friends. Jack surely didn’t like me.
It wasn’t a good situation. Major was a bad boy who was trying to be good, right? It wouldn’t last. This wouldn’t last. He’d get bored and then…what? I’d be alone with a baby he didn’t want, living my mom’s life all over again. Only Major likely wouldn’t ever come back for me.
But I wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe that Major cared about me, too. That he was willing to commit to this thing…to whatever it was we had going on. I wanted to believe that if I was pregnant, he would be there for me.
I wanted to believe it so badly that when the time was up on the test and I saw the result, I rushed right over to his place to talk to him about it. Only Major was still asleep. His phone, on the other hand, was vibrating with an impatient caller on the other end. I picked it up and stepped out into the hallway. There was no name beside the number, but I thought it might be important. It was eight o’clock on a Sunday morning. Who would be calling but someone with bad news?
“Hello?”
“Sorry,” a female voice said, “I must have the wrong number. I was trying to reach Major Waterston?”
“This is Major Rutherford’s phone,” I said.
“Oh. He’s going by Rutherford now? I should have guessed.”
“Who is this?”
“Kara,” she said, like I would know who that was just by the uttering of the two simple syllables. “And you are?”
I closed my eyes as I leaned back against the wall. “How do you know him?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your—”
“Did you say Waterston?”
“As in Waterston, Inc.? As in the Waterstons who own most of downtown?”
“That’s them.”
“A.J. Waterston?” I asked, picturing the name on the outside of the tallest building downtown.
“Major’s his son. If you’re answering his phone, you must know that.”
“You would think so, wouldn’t you?”
I dropped the phone to my side, my mind spinning as the girl on the other end continued to talk, trying to get my attention. I thought of the expensive booze in the cupboards, the fact that Major rarely spoke about this family, the fact that he didn’t seem to need to work to pay his rent. It didn’t make sense, but then it did. The spoiled rich boy trying to see how the other half lives without actually giving up anything.
He’d been lying to me. From the very beginning. And here I thought…and the girl. Who was she? Where did he meet her? Is that why he had that look on his face when I asked him where he’d been, all dressed up in a tie and button down Oxford? Was he out with her then?
I dropped the phone and walked away. I couldn’t believe I’d done it. All those years I watched my mom tear herself up over a man who didn’t want her, who didn’t want the life she had to offer him. He lied to her, cheated on her, broke her heart over and over again, yet she went back to him again and again. I swore I’d never be her. Yet, here I was, in love with a man who’d lied to me almost from the beginning.
Here I was, pregnant by a man who couldn’t even tell me his real name.
What the hell was I going to do now?
Chapter 27
Major
I should have known when I woke up and she wasn’t there that something was wrong. But I assumed she’d had some work to do or she’d gone out with a friend of hers. I didn’t have a monopoly on her time. She could come and go as she pleased. Just because the bed was cold without her and the apartment too silent, didn’t mean that I couldn’t live without her for a few hours.
But that also didn’t mean I had to like it.
I spent the day cleaning the place up, putting away dishes that needed putting away, tossing the laundry into the proper baskets, scrubbing the toilet so she wouldn’t think I was a complete slob. And then I found myself looking at hotels in San Francisco, thinking about our conversation the night before. It’d be nice to take a trip with her, see a little something new. I wondered how much time she could get off of work and how to ask without giving anything away.
It grew late and she didn’t come over. The building had impossibly thin walls and I didn’t hear anything in her apartment either. Not even the low din of the television. I finally went downstairs to check for her car, but it wasn’t in the parking lot.
Where the hell was she?
I told myself it wasn’t that big of a deal. She’d call me soon.
But she didn’t. She didn’t call. She didn’t stop by. She didn’t even come home as far as I could tell.
For a week.
First I was worried. Then I was mad. I grabbed on to the mad and held it tight, letting it grow into a small pit of fury. And then I drove down to her office at the publishing house.
A publishing house that was ironically owned by my family’s company.
There was no security guard there, just a friendly receptionist who was more than happy to answer any questions I had. She pointed the way to Sloane’s office, her eyes on me as I walked away.
Sloane was sitting behind her desk, staring out the window when I reached her door.
“So you aren’t lying in a hospital somewhere?”
She looked up, what little color there was in her cheeks disappearing as her eyes fell on me.
“Major,” she said, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper.
“Were you just not going to call me? Give me some sort of explanation for your absence?”
She got up and rounded her desk, gesturing for me to come inside. I refused to budge. Instead, I let my eyes move slowly over the tight little skirt she was wearing and the shirt that seemed a little too tight for her ample cleavage. A couple of buttons were threatening to pop and her breasts were spilling over the top of her bra. It was sexy, but not really appropriate for the office.
“You dress like that for someone particular?”
She glanced down at herself, a blush giving some color back to her pale cheeks. In lieu of answering, she crossed her arms over her chest to hide the bulge.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I just…I needed some time to think.”
“About what?”
“About you. About us.”
“Why? Everything was fine, and then I wake up and you’re gone.”
Her eyes fell to the floor, but before they did, I thought I caught a flash of something. Anger, maybe.
“Sloane? Did something happen?”
“Are you seeing someone else?”
I stared at her, but she wouldn’t look at me. She just continued to stare at the floor, or the tip of her shoes, I wasn’t sure which. But there was tension in her shoulders and the way her fingers bit into her arms, it was obvious she thought she knew something.
“Why would I do that?”
She shook her head. “We never talked about what this thing between us was. We never said anything about commitment.”
“But we never talked about seeing other people, either. I just sort of thought it was implied.”
“Which?”
I straightened a little from where I was leaning against the doorjamb, aware that there was a secretary behind me who was likely hanging on to every word we were saying.
“Sloane, I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“And you told me the truth about you, about your family?”
A few fingers of fear began to dance on my spine. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I was beginning to get a little sneak peek. And I didn’t like what I was seeing.
“Did you? Did you tell me everything about you?” I fired back.
“Of course,” she said, anger flashing in her eyes when she finally looked up.
I took a step toward her, and she backed up, her arms wrapping even tighter around her. It was an obvious “don’t touch me” statement, but I’d never really paid much attention to body language before. I took hold of her upper arms and pulled her against me.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
Tears were running down her cheeks, dripping onto her blouse as they rolled off the end of her chin.
“I won’t live my life like my mom. I won’t chase after some man who doesn’t want me, a man who lies and cheats.”
“And that’s what you think I am?”
She didn’t answer, but the way she was trying so hard not to look me in the eye spoke volumes.
I wanted to shove her up against the wall, wanted to shake her until a little common sense broke through this wall she’d put up between the two of us. I wanted to force her to tell me what the hell had happened and why she was acting that way. Instead, I let go of her arms and stepped back.
“I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know why you’re acting this way. But I’m not your father, Sloane. I would never do to you what he did to your mother. And I know you know that.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know that.”
We just stood there for a long minute. I should have left. I should have left her to her misery, to this conviction she’d come to, let her think the worst of me. I’d let Anna do that. I could do it again. But when I thought of it, I got this ache in the center of my chest that I knew I couldn’t live with. I couldn’t just leave without showing her who I really was. I had to lay the whole truth out there and see what she would do with that.
“Will you come with me for a little bit?”
She looked up, wiping almost absently at the tears on her cheeks. “What?”
“I want to show you something. I don’t know if it would change anything, but I think it’s important for you to see it.”
&n
bsp; “What?”
“I can’t explain it. You just have to see it.”
She nodded. “I can go with you later. But I have this book—”
“We need to go now.”
“But my job.”
“Your job will be waiting for you. I promise.”
I held out my hand and she still hesitated. But then she took it.
As we left the building, I had to fire off a barrage of text messages to get everything I had planned lined up in such short notice.
We drove to the airport in my old truck. She sat as close to the passenger side door as she could get, her eyes glued on the outside world so that she wouldn’t have to accidentally look at me. I couldn’t believe I was doing what I was doing, but I knew I had no other choice.
She sat up a little straighter when we pulled right out onto the tarmac. A private jet sat fueled and ready to go on the edge of the runway, a pilot and a flight attendant standing by the steps like a couple of privates awaiting the arrival of their general. I’d forgotten what it was like to utilize the perks of being who I was. There was once a time when I took full advantage of things like private planes and limitless credit cards, but not anymore. This would be my first time on the jet since I was seventeen.
I stopped the truck and walked around to help Sloane from the passenger side, but she was already out and staring around her like a child seeing Disneyland for the first time.
“What is this?”
I just gestured for her to lead the way to the plane.
We boarded, and she was so awestruck that her mouth practically fell open and stayed that way for most of the flight. She was so busy looking around and staring out the window once we’d taken off that we didn’t talk. And that might have been for the better. I wasn’t sure what I had to say to her was appropriate at the moment.
“I don’t understand,” she said once we landed. “Where are we? And whose plane is this?”
“It belongs to my family.”
“Your family?”
“I wanted to tell you, but there never seems to be a good time to tell your girlfriend that you happen to be the black sheep of a family like the Waterstons.”
