by Lucy King
What would it have been like to have had someone like him on her side when she’d been at school? she couldn’t help wondering as the silence stretching between them thickened. What would it feel like now?
Come to think of it, what would he feel like? He’d be hard and muscled, she was sure. All over. He wasn’t the type to tolerate softness. Except maybe where his lips were concerned. Those looked nice and velvety. And what about the sprinkling of dark hair she could see on the backs of his hands? Would it be rough to the touch or silky? And where else might he have it? She had no way of knowing, and now, bizarrely, that, as well as the realisation she’d never find out how soft his lips actually were, seemed a shame.
‘Anyway,’ she said, baffled by the unexpectedly carnal turn of her thoughts and suddenly really rather keen to lighten the weirdly tense atmosphere, ‘your experience of height has probably been far different from mine.’
Theo started, as if she’d jerked him out of deep thought, and his brows snapped together. ‘Has it?’
‘Has anyone asked you what the weather’s like up there?’
‘No.’
‘Suggested a career in basketball?’
‘No.’
‘I bet you haven’t ever had to put up with tiny little aeroplane seats and bashed knees.’
‘I have a private jet.’
Of course he did. ‘I always wanted a little zippy convertible,’ she said with a whimsical sigh. He nodded and she thought for a nanosecond that maybe he did understand after all. ‘Being hugged is a problem.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes,’ she said with a nod, although it wouldn’t be a problem if it was Theo doing the hugging, would it? Her head would tuck into his neck perfectly. Her body would fit against his beautifully. And then she’d know exactly how hard and muscled he was...
‘Doorways.’
What? Oh. ‘Pendant lights.’
‘Hotel showers.’
Not helping. But what was going on? Why was she so flustered by the thought of Theo in the shower? Why was she even thinking about Theo in the shower? And why did she get the impression he was thinking about her in the shower? Unanswerable questions all of them, so she put them out of her mind and focused. ‘Much of the world is structurally tallist, don’t you think?’ she said, thankfully sounding more in control than she felt.
‘It is,’ he said with the glimmer of a smile so fleeting the minute it was gone she thought she must have imagined it.
‘Sleeves?’
‘My clothes are tailor-made.’ Naturally. ‘Shoes?’
‘Nightmare,’ she said. ‘I’m a size nine. And I never wear heels. You?’
‘Heels have never been my thing,’ he said, that faint smile back again.
Kate nearly fell off her chair because, good heavens, was that a joke? Crikey.
‘It’s hard to be inconspicuous.’
He arched an eyebrow. ‘Is that a negative?’
It was for her. She’d been taller than her contemporaries since the moment she’d learned to walk. Throughout her childhood barely a week had passed without someone commenting on it. She couldn’t remember a time she hadn’t felt different, and not in a good way. No amount of positive parental input had helped. She’d just wanted to be the same as everyone else. To fit in. Subsequently she’d spent so much of her childhood and teenage years hunching her shoulders and trying to appear shorter than she was her posture was abysmal. ‘I imagine that depends who you are.’
‘You command attention.’
Obviously he was using the ‘you’ in the general sense, not referring to her in particular, but nevertheless she weirdly found herself sitting up a bit straighter. ‘Possibly,’ she hedged.
‘And statistically, taller people tend to earn a higher salary.’
Her eyebrows lifted. ‘Really?’ That was interesting.
‘So I once read.’
‘I must remember that at my next performance review.’
‘I would.’ He paused, then said, ‘Light bulbs.’
‘Maxi-dresses,’ she batted back.
‘You never have a problem reaching for something from a high shelf.’
‘And you can always spot friends in a crowd.’
‘Quite,’ he said. ‘Definite pluses.’
His words were spoken evenly enough, but something flickered across his expression and the smile faded, and it suddenly occurred to her that while she’d assumed he was too uptight and aloof to do friends, maybe it wasn’t just that. Maybe it was more that it was lonely at the top. And so maybe he was as lonely as she was...
Or not.
The strangely electric heat surging through her dissipated and she went cold, because what planet was she on? A man like Theo would never be lonely. He certainly wouldn’t lack for female companionship. Just because nothing appeared about him in the gossip columns didn’t mean he was a monk. And a moment or two of banter did not make him a kindred spirit. She must have been mad to imagine he ever could be. And to think she’d even harboured the vague hope that he might have some advice for her about how to deal with an excess of centimetres. Of course he wouldn’t. He clearly had no hang-ups about anything at all, and why would he? He was a god and she was about as far from goddess-ness as it was possible to get. She and Theo were poles apart in virtually every way. She had to be even more starved of attention than she realised if she was deluding herself with the idea that they somehow shared something unique. And as for the inappropriate little fantasies about hugging and showers, what had she been thinking?
The setting sun was casting an oddly seductive golden glow across his office and the sense of intimacy it created was messing with her head. That was the trouble. It spun a sort of web that rendered reality all blurry. That was why she found it so easy to talk to him. Why she’d been all of a flutter when he’d so casually mentioned the many sexual positions he’d obviously experienced.
The sooner she could get out of here, the better. If she stayed, who knew what else she might reveal? She’d already humiliated herself quite enough. Once she’d started talking she hadn’t shut up. Besides, what with the rolling of her stomach and the bizarre way she kept going hot and cold at the same time, she was beginning to feel very peculiar indeed.
‘So, anyway,’ she said with a feebly bright smile. ‘There you are. The reasons why I’m still a virgin. Basically no one wants me. And on that pretty mortifying note I should definitely go. I’m sure you have plenty to be getting on with and I’ve taken up more than enough of your time. So, sorry for the firewall breach thing and, uh, thanks for everything... I’d best be off. Unless, of course, there’s anything else?’
CHAPTER THREE
ANYTHING ELSE?
Anything else?
God.
There was so much going on in Theo’s head he didn’t know how to even begin to unravel it. How he was managing to keep a grip on things he had no idea. If he’d known what chaos Kate was going to unleash by not leaving when he’d told her to, he’d have picked her up and carried her out instead of ignoring his better judgement and like an idiot encouraging her to continue.
When she’d been talking about everything she’d been through his entire body had started to churn. When she’d mentioned the short-sighted fools who’d rejected her over the years he’d had an irrational urge to demand a list of names. When she’d revealed that she’d been bullied and how, his hands had curled into fists and he’d wanted to hit something for the first time in fourteen years, six months and ten days. As they’d batted back and forth the pros and cons of being tall, for the briefest of moments he’d forgotten where and who he was and had found himself actually enjoying the conversation, until she’d mentioned friends and he’d crashed back down to earth with a bump.
And then there was the want, the searing, clawing, deeply inappropriate need to show her what the soft
gasps and blushes meant and what her body was capable of. Of what they’d be capable of together, because when she’d looked him as if she was somehow imagining him naked he’d nearly combusted.
The strength of his reaction to this woman didn’t make any sense. She was by no means the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and he’d always preferred sophisticated experience over naivety. He had absolutely no reason to behave and feel the way he did around her. It was too visceral, too dramatic, and wholly unacceptable.
Why did he even care about her issues anyway? And why had he taken such umbrage to her registration to that site in the first place? As she’d repeatedly told him, none of it was any of his business. She was obviously perfectly capable of taking care of herself. He wasn’t responsible for her in any way. Yet hammering away inside him was the conviction that for some unfathomable reason it was his business and she did need his protection.
He’d never felt anything like it before, he thought grimly as she uncrossed her impossibly long bare legs and put her hands on the arms of the chair. He certainly didn’t want to feel anything like it. In fact, he’d spent the majority of his adult life avoiding precisely this kind of thing. He’d experienced enough horror, confusion and unpredictability growing up to like his life now controlled, ordered and sterile.
The way he responded to Kate threatened that. It screwed with his head and made a mockery of everything he considered vital. So he ought to just let her go. She wasn’t even making it difficult. By getting to her feet, smoothing her clothes and turning to head for the door, clearly taking his silence for acquiescence, she was actually facilitating the best outcome he could have hoped for this evening.
And yet, it wasn’t the outcome he wanted. Not by a long shot. He wanted her horizontal and beneath him. He wanted to spend the evening running his hands over every glorious inch of her to see if she felt as silky smooth as she looked. He wanted to find out what sounds she made when she came, and with a primal instinct he’d never have dreamt he possessed, he wanted to be the first man to make her make those sounds.
The battle for control was one he was losing with increasing momentum. The desire thundering through him had grown too powerful to ignore. With every step she took away from him his self-restraint slipped that bit more and he found himself caring that bit less. By the time she reached the door, a hair’s breadth from walking out of his life for ever, which should have been perfectly fine but wasn’t, all reason had fled. His blood pounded in his ears and his body ached unbearably, and all he could think was, so what if he did respond to her with an unfathomable intensity? Was he really going to let her walk out of here with her self-esteem needlessly non-existent, thinking no one wanted her when someone very definitely did?
Was he hell.
‘Stop,’ he said roughly, pushing back from his desk and standing up barely before he knew what he was doing.
At the door, her hand on the handle, Kate froze, then turned, and he saw a combination of wariness and surprise filling her expression as she watched him stride across the carpet towards her. ‘What is it?’
He came to an abrupt halt a foot in front of her, close enough to see the rapid rise and fall of her chest and hear the breath hitch in her throat. Close enough to reach for her.
‘There is one more thing,’ he said, jamming his hands into his pockets before he could act on the instinct hammering away inside him.
‘Oh?’
‘You’re wrong.’
She stared at him, bewilderment flickering in the shimmering cobalt depths of her eyes. ‘You don’t have a lot to be getting on with?’
‘About your desirability.’
The pulse at the base of her neck began to flutter wildly. ‘What?’
‘Those boys were fools.’
‘In what way?’
‘You are very, very desirable.’
Her eyes widened for a moment and then she frowned. ‘And you are very, very funny,’ she said. ‘Or not at all funny, actually.’
‘You think I’m joking?’ said Theo darkly, gripped once again by an irrational desire to locate everyone who’d ever decimated her self-esteem and string them up. ‘I am not joking.’
‘Nevertheless,’ she said dryly, ‘experience would suggest otherwise.’
‘You have no experience.’
‘Which kind of proves my point.’
‘And I can prove my point.’
‘Oh, yes?’ she asked, lifting her chin an inch and arching an eyebrow. ‘How?’
Now was the time to retreat, yelled the little voice of reason banging away in his head, demanding to be heard. Now. He’d achieved what he’d set out to do when he’d told her to stop. He’d corrected her misconceptions. His work was done. He should take a step back and reinstate some desperately needed distance.
Yet he couldn’t move. Her wide-eyed innocence and intoxicating scent were drowning out that voice in his head. The tilt of her face and the challenge in her voice were tugging at a viscerally primitive part of him deep inside. And then he noticed that her breathing was rapid, shallow, that she was staring at his mouth, and now, heaven help him, she was actually leaning towards him, and as a strange feeling of fate enveloped him what little remained of his control simply evaporated.
‘Like this,’ he muttered, and with one quick step forwards, he took her face in his hands and slammed his mouth down on hers.
* * *
Theo moved so fast, so unexpectedly, that for a nanosecond Kate had no idea what was going on. She was too busy trying to process the seismic shift she’d experienced when he’d demanded she wait and she’d turned to see him striding towards her with the intensity and focus of a heat-seeking missile. The set of his jaw, the hot look in his eye and the gruffness of his voice had made her shiver from head to toe. When he’d stopped just in front of her, the tension emanating from him palpable, something deep inside her had flared to life and rushed through her blood, making her head spin. And then his words. Her? Desirable? Yeah, right.
She didn’t know what had made her demand proof of it and she had no idea what she’d expected, but now he was touching her, holding her, kissing her, seemingly as if his life depended on it, and she reeled first with the shock of it and then with the electrifying notion that maybe she’d been a bit too quick to dismiss his claims about her appeal. There certainly didn’t seem anything half-hearted about the searing pressure of his lips on hers and he really didn’t seem the sort of man who would do anything he didn’t want to do.
Maybe though, just to check that he hadn’t been lying when he said he wasn’t joking, she ought to stop just standing there like a flake and start kissing him back. Then she’d know.
Before her courage could fail her or her hang-ups get the better of her, Kate closed her eyes and leaned into him. She put her hands on his waist and took advantage of his sharp intake of breath to part her lips and then crush them back to his. And in that instant the chemistry that she’d been too ignorant to identify before ignited. The second their tongues touched, Theo groaned and immediately deepened the kiss, pulling her closer, sliding his tongue into her mouth and blowing her mind with his breathtaking skill.
As she kissed him back with equal intensity but significantly less skill, she was sure, liquid heat rocketed through her veins and pooled between her legs. Instinctively, she moved her hands further round his back and he tilted his hips, and when she felt the huge rock-hard length of his erection pressing into her abdomen, she suddenly wanted it inside her with a clenching, gnawing, relentless ache that obliterated what remained of her wits.
All rational thought evaporated, and as her head emptied her senses took over with stunning ferocity. She was aware of nothing but Theo, the solidity of his broad chest hard up against the softness of hers, his heady masculine scent and the intoxicating taste of his mouth. The heat emanating from his body fired the flames in hers, turning her insides to
molten lava and setting off so many tiny fireworks that her knees went weak.
It was as if some sort of devastatingly powerful tropical weather system had taken up residence inside her, she thought dizzily. And incredibly, it seemed as if Theo were caught up in it too because, in response to the sensory onslaught and the increasingly incendiary kiss, Kate gave a helpless little moan and suddenly he was pushing her back against the door and trapping her there with his big hard body.
And she wasn’t complaining. Why would she when she felt so alive, so on fire? When, for the first time ever, it seemed that someone desired her? She was not going to look this gift horse in the mouth, so when Theo removed his hands from her face and clamped them to her waist she granted him better access by arching her back slightly and winding her arms around his neck.
In response, with one hand he shoved her skirt up just enough to jam one hard muscled thigh between hers and with the other he undid the button of her jacket and then tugged her shirt from the waistband of her skirt. And all the while he continued with the drugging, soul-shattering kisses.
As white-hot desire pounded through her, Kate instinctively shifted her hips to grind herself against his thigh and alleviate the burning ache, and then he was sliding his hand beneath her top and up, singeing her sensitised skin, then cupping her breast and rubbing a thumb over her agonisingly tight nipple. The lace of her bra might as well not have been there because she felt the heat of his hand like a brand. The friction was unbearable yet she wanted more. So she pressed herself closer, ground her hips that little bit harder and the hot sparks of electric pleasure jolting through her were so thrilling, so exquisitely powerful that she instinctively tensed and gasped—
And the spell that wild, desperate need had been weaving around them shattered.
As if doused with a bucket of iced water, Theo instantly froze. His hands sprang off her, and with a rough curse he jerked back. He looked stunned. His eyes were black and his breathing was laboured. And as he raked his hands through the hair that only moments ago she’d been threading her fingers through, somewhere in the midst of the hazy desire and intense disappointment that he’d stopped, it occurred to Kate that, yes, he could look dishevelled, he could be thrown off balance, and oddly enough it was something of a relief.
