by T A Williams
‘And have you got some boyfriend from the UK coming over?’ He was still smiling, but she read just a hint of apprehension in his eyes and rather liked that.
She put him out of his misery. ‘No boyfriends.’
‘So you’ll be all on your own?’
‘That, Gavin, is where you come in. I’m counting on you to keep me company. There isn’t going to be any dancing, but at least you can provide refined conversation at table.’
He gave a formal bow. ‘I would be honoured, Miss Carter.’
Suitably cheered by this response, Faye gave Marlon a prawn. It disappeared like magic and the dog then spent the next five minutes licking his lips and sniffing the floor just in case anything might have dropped. When he looked up again, he was definitely smiling.
The conversation then turned to the book once more and Gavin produced a sheet of paper with a little list of points he had noted. Faye was very impressed at his thoroughness as they went through them one by one, until the list was complete. He handed her the piece of paper, leant forward, and refilled their glasses. His, she noticed, was still only half full. Seeing her expression as he filled her empty glass, leaving his untouched, he explained.
‘I’m not trying to get you sloshed. Honest. It’s just that we babysitters have responsibilities, you know. All you’ve got to do is let Marlon lead you up the hill after this. Me, I might have to change a nappy, and I really don’t recommend trying that when you’re drunk.’
She laughed with him, enjoying his company and rather wondering how to steer the conversation back onto just why he would miss her if she left. But he steadfastly kept the conversation on general, neutral, topics and, although they had a very pleasant evening, there was no hint of intimacy.
Until the very end.
When the bottle of wine was empty, most of it down Faye’s throat, she decided the time had come to leave. She held up her hands to him and he caught hold of them and tugged her out of the embrace of the old sofa. For a moment, they stood there, face to face, hand in hand, looking straight into each other’s eyes. Faye, bolstered by her recently consumed Dutch courage, reached up and kissed him softly on the lips. He didn’t resist and, just for a few seconds, he responded, catching her cheeks between his palms and pressing her against him. Then he released her and stepped back.
‘I’m very sorry, Faye.’
‘There’s nothing to be sorry about. I kissed you, remember.’
‘No, not that. Just this whole situation. It’s really, really tough.’
The bleak expression on his face reached deep inside her and she caught hold of his hands in hers once more. ‘Don’t worry, Gavin. It’ll all work out. You’ll see.’
‘But what if you go back to London?’
‘I’m not going back to London.’
Chapter Twenty
December was very cold. The skies were mostly a clear pale blue, but the Mistral blew remorselessly and the distant mountains were getting whiter every day as the snow covering reached ever lower. The news on the television was that the ski resorts in the southern Alps had already opened and it looked like being a good season and a white Christmas up there.
The lessons at the town hall finished early in the month as everybody had to prepare for Christmas, and Faye was delighted to be presented with so many bottles of wine and boxes of chocolates that she had to take a lift home with Désirée in her huge car so as to transport everything. Even better, she was asked if she would feel like repeating the course in the new year as well as running similar courses, if she had time, in two neighbouring towns. Faye agreed enthusiastically, relishing the idea of meeting new people and getting ever deeper into the community that she had grown to love.
Throughout the first half of December, she made the last changes to the manuscript and printed out four copies of the final version, complete with dedication: one for her grandmother, one for Eddie, one for herself and, on Miss Beech’s instructions, one for her father. She chose a wonderful photograph of the film star in her heyday, wearing the silver dress Faye herself had tried, and turned it into the cover. For a title, Faye just put, Anabelle Beech. A Life. It would have been nice to get these professionally printed, but Faye was conscious of the secrecy surrounding her grandmother’s life, and didn’t want to take the chance.
She took Marlon out for longer and longer walks, occasionally seeing Gavin in his tractor, but rarely getting close enough to talk to him. As she walked, she did her best not to think of him, so she concentrated, as far as possible, on the plot of her next book. This one, she decided, would be set not in London, but down here in Provence. It would be another thriller, but this time, there would be a stronger love element. The fact that the main protagonist was going to be tall, insanely handsome and, at the same time, caring and kind, didn’t make it any easier for her to dismiss Gavin from her thoughts.
As the day of the party approached, Faye got more and more involved, helping Miss Beech and Claudette with the choice of menu. Claudette had protested at the main course being outsourced to the Coq d’Or but, secretly, Faye could see she was very pleased that she and Obelix had been invited to join in.
Faye reviewed her clothes and rapidly came to the conclusion that there was nothing in her wardrobe suitable for a formal dinner such as this. A couple of days before the party, she resolved to take a trip down to the coast to look around the shops in Cannes or Nice, armed with a lot of money. Then, just before she was about to head off, Miss Beech solved her conundrum for her.
Summoned to the study by Eddie, who was now walking unassisted and managing the stairs to the stables without too much difficulty, Faye found a large, flat cardboard box on the desk in front of her grandmother, who looked up and smiled as she walked in.
‘Faye, I’ve got a little something for you. What do you think?’ She pushed the box across the desk and Faye picked it up. The box bore the name of a dry-cleaner’s in Aix-en-Provence. She lifted the lid and peered inside, parting the layers of tissue paper. To her delight she found it was the silver dress from Faded Heart. Her own heart jumped and she looked across at her grandmother in awe.
‘For me?’
‘For you, my dear. Please take this as a little birthday gift from your grandmother. I was wondering what you were going to wear at the party and then it came to me.’ She reached down with difficulty and produced another box from the floor. ‘And here are the shoes to go with it.’
‘But no, really …’ Faye didn’t know what to say. ‘I couldn’t possibly wear anything as precious as this. What if I spill wine or food on it?’
‘Then, we’ll get it cleaned again. These people in Aix are marvellous – they can remove any stain. So don’t you worry. Of course, it’s totally up to you what you decide to wear for the party, but I’d love to see you in that dress, just as I would so much have longed to see your mother in it. We both know it fits you like a glove, and seeing you in it would take me back to my youth.’
Put like that, Faye couldn’t say no, even if she had wanted to. Although part of her was saying she couldn’t possibly appear in public wearing anything so revealing and showy, deep down inside she knew this was a dream she had had since childhood. What girl doesn’t want to dress up as a princess at least once in her life? She set the box down and went round the desk to give her grandmother a hug.
‘Well, if you’re absolutely sure, thank you so much and, of course, I’d be honoured to wear it. I can’t imagine anything better as a birthday present.’ She grinned at her grandma. ‘At least, seeing as Marlon’s off limits.’
She took the two boxes back to her flat and the very first thing she did was to tear her jeans and jumper off, anxious to try the gown on again. It was as magnificent, and revealing, as she remembered, and as she stood in front of the mirror, she found herself wondering what Gavin’s reaction was likely to be. Hopefully positive.
The next few days were a blur of Christmas shopping, preparations for the party, and she even treated herself to a manicure
. On the nineteenth, the day before the party, as she was making herself a cup of afternoon tea, trying to decide whether to take the dog for a long walk or a shorter one, she got an unexpected text message. It was from Dominique and it just said, Are you in? Can I come and talk?
Intrigued, Faye replied immediately. Yes. The kettle’s just boiled.
Ten minutes later, she heard the familiar sound of little Elise at the door, yelling, ‘Faye, Faye,’ at the top of her voice. Faye went down to let them in and she helped the little girl up the stairs, while her mother followed after disposing of the buggy. She made tea for Dominique and herself and filled Elise’s mug with “coffee” from the milk carton.
Dominique suggested it might be a good idea to turn on the TV and Elise was soon sitting almost invisible in an armchair, kicking her feet in the air, absorbed with a noisy cartoon on the screen. Dominique led Faye over to the far corner of the room and explained her predicament. As she did so, Faye felt as if a gigantic weight was being lifted from her shoulders.
‘Do you remember Philippe?’
‘Philippe the doctor? Yes, of course.’
Dominique nodded. ‘Yes. Well, it’s like this, Faye.’ She hesitated, looking and sounding unusually embarrassed. ‘Well, you see, Philippe and I have been going out for a couple of months now. At first we were part of a group, but we’ve been going out as a couple quite a lot recently and we’re getting very close.’
‘That’s wonderful news, Dominique.’ And it was, both for Dominique and, hopefully, for Faye. Then she had a sudden thought. ‘Hang on a minute, aren’t doctors forbidden to date their patients?’
Dominique nodded. ‘Yes, I think so, but he isn’t my doctor, you see. He’s based here in St-Jean, but my doctor’s over in Riez where I grew up.’ She gave Faye a grin. ‘So it’s all above board.’
‘Oh, Dominique, I’m so pleased for you. So you’ll be coming tomorrow night with him as your official partner?’
Dominique’s embarrassment increased. She glanced across at her daughter, who was still lost in the antics of a bunch of cartoon animals, and took her time before revealing the source of her concern. ‘I’d like to, Faye, but I’m not sure. You see, it’s Gavin.’
‘Gavin?’
‘Yes, he’s been so wonderfully supportive and helpful, especially with Elise, and he’s very close to both of us. He gave up his job to come and run the farm and to be with us. I wouldn’t ever want to do anything to hurt him after everything he’s been through, and I don’t know how he’ll react to the news that I’ve found somebody I really like.’ She caught hold of Faye’s hand. ‘Faye, you probably know him better than anybody else now – what do you think?’
Faye was having a hard job avoiding bursting into song, leaping up and dancing about the flat. She took a deep breath and did her best to look, and sound, serious. ‘I know Gavin thinks the world of you and Elise. He’s told me that. He’s also told me he feels responsible for you both. I think he’d do anything for your happiness; in fact I know he would. My feeling is that he’ll react very positively to your news.’
‘You think so? Really?’ Dominique sounded relieved. ‘I’ve been so afraid he might feel he was being abandoned and drop back into the depression he suffered immediately after the accident. Did he tell you about that?’ Faye nodded and Dominique carried on. ‘He was in a terrible state for weeks. I couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything to hurt him after everything he’s done for us. I’ve already told Philippe; my friendship with Gavin means more to me than my own personal happiness. After what happened, there’s a bond between us that can’t be broken. It mustn’t be broken.’
‘And it won’t be. For what it’s worth, he said pretty much the same thing to me about you and Elise. You really don’t need to worry, Dominique. Why don’t you sit down and talk to him? Tell him about your feelings for Philippe and see what he says. I’m sure he’ll be happy, very happy, for you.’
‘Are you sure?’ The cloud over Dominique’s face was lifting. The cloud that had been hanging over Faye was also being blown away, just like the wind was scattering the dust on the paths outside the window. Faye gave Dominique an encouraging smile.
‘Definitely. Speak to him. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.’
***
After Dominique and Elise had left, Faye sat for an age without moving, her eyes on the TV screen, following the movements of the cartoon characters, but without registering. She had turned the volume off when Elise left, but it probably wouldn’t have penetrated her thoughts even if she had left it on loud.
As her sense of euphoria subsided, another more unsettling thought occurred to her. Yes, Dominique was going to tell Gavin he was free from his self-imposed obligation towards her and Elise, and that he would be able to live his life as he wanted and with whomsoever he wanted. But the disconcerting thought stubbornly running through Faye’s head was whether, now that he was freed, he would choose her. After all, up to now, he had been able to keep her at arm’s length by virtue of his vow to look after Dominique.
She felt pretty sure he liked her a lot, but the question was, how much? She knew she liked him an awful lot, even to the extent of using the L-word in her private moments of contemplation, but how deep were his feelings for her? Maybe she was no more than a passing fancy.
She felt she needed to talk to somebody about this. Closing the door behind her, she ran across the chilly courtyard to the chateau, determined to seek her grandmother’s advice.
Inside, Faye found her in the lounge, sitting by the fire, Marlon snoozing at her feet. Both looked up as Faye came in.
‘Hello, Faye. Come in and have a glass of wine or something. Eddie’ll be down soon and I could ask him to make you a Manhattan if you like.’
Faye suppressed a shiver and hastily shook her head. ‘I’d love a glass of wine, please. Can I get you anything?’
‘How about opening a bottle of champagne? I know that’s your favourite.’
Faye wasted no time. She took a bottle from the wine cooler, filled two glasses, and brought them over to the fire.
‘Cheers, my dear.’ Miss Beech clinked her glass against Faye’s and took a sip. ‘So, are you looking forward to seeing your father again tomorrow? I know I am.’
They chatted for a few minutes about the logistics of the following day. The menu had been approved and, even now, Claudette was working in the kitchen, preparing an assortment of desserts that smelt divine, while the restaurant would be responsible for the rest. A hairdresser from Cannes would be coming in the afternoon to do Miss Beech’s hair and she had persuaded Faye to agree to have her hair done in the same style, specially for the occasion.
Faye drank her wine and reflected that the champagne stocks in the cooler were likely to take a bashing as tomorrow’s party progressed. Thought of the evening to come, and one guest in particular, brought her mind back to the reason for coming over to see her grandma.
‘Erm, Anabelle, could I talk to you about something? I’d really love to hear what you think.’
Her grandmother leant forward eagerly. ‘Of course, my dear. Tell me all about it.’
So Faye did. She went back over the story again, talking about her feelings for Gavin and how they had gradually developed. She repeated, almost word for word, what he had said about his first priority being the welfare and happiness of Dominique and her baby, and how his own personal happiness was secondary to that.
Finally, she recounted what Dominique had revealed that afternoon about her own growing affection for the doctor. When she finished her tale, she looked across at her grandmother, who had listened without interrupting. ‘And now I’m worried that he might not react as I’d like him to react.’
‘And how would you like him to react, Faye?’ Her grandma’s tone was gentle.
‘I suppose what worries me is that I’ve maybe let my feelings for him grow and grow to an unrealistic degree. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? Or, at least, what if his feelings for me are mor
e superficial? You know, I’m just the girl from up the hill who’s obviously besotted with him and worth a little fling?’
‘And you’re looking for more than just a little fling?’ Faye nodded. ‘So, do you think you love him?’
Faye raised her eyes and met her grandmother’s, startling herself as she replied. ‘Yes, I think I do.’
‘Then that’s all you need to know. You know how you feel about him and you’ll have to wait to see how he feels about you. From what you’ve told me and from what I know about you, I have no doubt at all. I’m sure he’s head over heels in love with you, too.’
‘I really hope you’re right.’ Faye drained the last of her wine and got up for a refill. As she reached the bottle, she looked across at her grandmother. ‘Another drop?’
‘No thank you, dear. I’ve a feeling I may be drinking quite a bit tomorrow, so I’m going to take it slow. I’m not really meant to drink much at all because of these pills I’m taking. But you go ahead. Why don’t you give Eddie a call? He’ll join us, I’m sure.’
Faye poured herself half a glass of champagne before going to the door and calling up the stairs to Eddie. She heard a muffled reply and returned to the fireplace, where her grandmother was still mulling over what she had been told.
‘How wonderful, Faye. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do so envy you being twenty-eight.’
‘Only for another few hours.’
‘Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, it’s all the same. Oh how lovely it would be to fall in love and to be loved in return. I remember it all so well and, you know, even now at eighty-two, I still miss it. I would love to be loved.’
‘Well, you are loved. I love you for a start.’ Faye smiled at her and then pointed down at the floor. ‘And Marlon loves you, too.’ She took a mouthful of wine and decided to throw caution to the winds. ‘And there’s somebody else, more important than Marlon and me, who loves you very deeply.’ She saw Miss Beech raise her eyebrows. ‘And he has done for over fifty years.’
‘Eddie?’ There was surprise, but also something else in her grandmother’s tone: maybe realization. Just at that moment, a noise from the hall told Faye that Eddie was on his way. She swallowed the last of her champagne, jumped to her feet, and went over to kiss her grandma on the cheek.
