‘Need any help there?’ Leo asked.
Conor shook his head, clearly determined to manage the catch all on his own. When he had finally reeled it all in, they saw a shining silvery fish flapping on the end of the line.
‘What is it?’ he asked Leo, his eyes glowing with pleasure.
‘A decent-sized mackerel, I think,’ Leo said as he took it from him and knocked it on the head. ‘Now we need a few more of those and we’ll have lunch.’
While the boy drank his lemonade, Leo prepared Conor’s line again and then passed the rod back to him.
They sat in silence for a while, Louisa humming a tune under her breath and transfixed by her surroundings: the sun beating down from a turquoise sky, the feel of the warm breeze, the deep blue colour of the sea, and the sound of the water as it lapped against the sides of the boat.
‘Singing to the fish, are you?’ Leo said with a grin and she laughed.
Suddenly a fish flew through the air and landed with a thump in the bow of the boat. Louisa jumped in surprise and Conor almost dropped his rod.
‘Now that is something,’ Leo said. ‘A flying fish means we’re not far from a pod of dolphins. This little fellow would have been attempting to get out of their way.’
‘And now he’s our lunch,’ Conor added with glee. ‘Let’s watch out for the dolphins.’
As the boat rocked they kept their eyes peeled, scanning the sea for tell-tale splashes and frothy waves. Conor shouted out and they all spotted a grey-blue shape slipping through the water. They watched excitedly as pelicans began diving down from the sky to feed on the disturbed fish. After a few moments, Conor pointed at two or three dolphins leaping like acrobats as they chased each other at the side of the boat, one of them corkscrewing in the air before crossing underneath the bow. Louisa looked on, grinning with delight, as the Indian Ocean became packed with dolphins.
She had rarely seen a pod of them so close up and, falling under their spell, felt transported by these otherworldly creatures, sent to remind them of cheerful good humour and the utter joy of being alive. As she gazed, utterly mesmerized, they swam playfully alongside for a little longer, before leaping the waves and heading further out to sea, leaving Louisa feeling exhilarated. The immense ocean was enough to produce this kind of wonder on its own, but the dolphins had been a special treat, infecting them all with a feeling of happiness. When it came to her that she hadn’t thought of Elliot all morning, she took a slow deep breath and gave silent thanks.
‘Well, what a piece of luck,’ Leo said and the warmth of his smile curled inside her.
A little while later he and Louisa pulled up the line and net.
‘So, what do we have here?’ Leo said as he examined the haul. ‘Ah, not bad. Some anchovies, just as I thought, and a mullet – but look, there are a few giant tiger prawns too. I think, along with the mackerel and the flying fish, we have just managed to catch our lunch. Well done, Conor, you can reel in your line now. We’re heading back to shore.’
The shore lay somnolent in the hazy midday heat, and Leo chose a spot in the shade of one of the strangler fig trees growing among the shrubland lining the beach. Further up the beach, a few turbaned fishermen had hauled in their nets and Louisa could see the buckets of prawns they’d just caught. They kept clear of the fishermen and Leo built a small fire, using some stones on which he balanced a little grill he had stored in the hamper.
Once the fire was ready he placed the fish on the grill and within a few minutes was sharing out the spoils on to Bakelite plates. The three of them sat on the grass licking their salty fingers as they ate the fish, washed down with more lemonade. Louisa yawned and stretched out her arms.
‘Tired?’ he asked.
‘I don’t sleep terribly well since …’
‘You know what I do when I can’t sleep?’
‘What?’
‘I get up at dawn and watch the day arrive. Why not join me tomorrow? I’ll meet you here just before it gets light. I’ll even cook you breakfast afterwards.’
‘I’d like that.’ She paused. ‘Looking forward to the ball?’
He nodded. ‘Though it’s been a while since I last danced.’
‘When was that?’
‘At the Strand Hotel in Rangoon. An amazing place. If you ever get the chance, do stay there. Very grand.’
‘You were in Burma as well as Malaysia?’
‘I worked for a teak-logging company for a couple of years.’
‘But you didn’t stay there as long as Malaya?’
‘No.’
‘What made you leave? Was it what happened with Alicia?’
‘Pretty much. I needed a change of scene.’
After that they slipped into silence with just the sound of the ocean and the seabirds in the background.
Before long Louisa was humming under her breath again.
‘What is that song?’ Leo asked.
‘It’s an awful Shirley Temple song. “On the Good Ship Lollipop”. I can’t get it out of my mind.’
He laughed. ‘I suppose that’s appropriate,’ he said and began to sing the silly song too. Before long all three of them were singing at the tops of their voices before collapsing back on to the ground, with tears in their eyes and helpless with laughter, as the bemused fishermen stared at them.
35.
When Leo arrived at the beach the next morning it was still dark, the sea calm behind them, and as they entered the track up through the plantation, Louisa enjoyed the blanket hush, silent but for their feet crunching the earth and the sound of her own breath. A throb of expectation passed through her as she gazed up at the still starlit sky, and it seemed as if the whole of nature lay waiting. After a few minutes, the stars dimmed and the sky turned indigo. She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the peace and the fresh morning air, but the silence was instantly broken by the screech and chatter of fruit bats flying from one tree to another.
As she glanced back over the ocean, the sky quickly changed to a different, slightly brighter blue, with a line of turquoise and a strip of red where it met the purple sea. She savoured being out with Leo, while the rest of the world still slept, and a dreamlike feeling gripped her. Not quite day. Not quite night. It felt mystical and she liked it. Gradually, as the blue faded and the sky turned a dark red-gold in colour, a few birds began celebrating the approach of day.
‘It happens so suddenly, doesn’t it?’ she said. ‘The light.’ And as she spoke the sky began to pale and she could now see the shadowy shapes of the trees looming either side of the track in the smudgy light.
A breeze got up just as the dawn chorus proper began. As it developed the noise was shattering and she couldn’t help laughing. It felt as if the entire forest was singing, building to a wild cacophony.
‘Does Conor sleep through this?’ she asked, struggling to be heard.
‘Yes. I often have to drag him out of bed. Poor thing. His mother allows him to stay up far too late.’
‘Is she a good mother?’
‘She’s not a conventional one, that’s for sure, but she does her best.’
‘Do I hear a criticism?’
‘Maybe.’
‘What would you do differently?’
‘Well, as you know, I’m not a parent, so I’m probably out of order, but I feel he needs to have a few basic rules. He is free to wander, which is fine, but I think he also needs the restrictions and challenges of school.’
‘I’d have thought you would be more free-spirited.’
‘My father was right about one thing. Children do need to know where the boundaries are.’
‘Does he behave badly?’
‘No. He’s a good kid. I suppose what I’m saying is, I feel he needs more structure. He’s too young to cope with so much freedom and it makes him insular. I’d love to see him spending time with other children.’
‘You care about him.’
‘Yes. I’m very fond of him. At first I was worried about Zinnia having her
son here, but having Conor in my life, getting to know him, seeing him running about the place, well, it’s been a privilege.’
They walked on. It was too dense and noisy for further talk. Halfway up the hill a flock of green rose-ringed parakeets fluttered from one tree to another amid noisy chatter.
At the top of the plantation, nearer the jungle, she heard an exquisite liquid birdsong.
‘Black-headed orioles,’ he said.
‘Ah yes, I’ve heard them here before, I think,’ she said and stood to listen.
After a while she added, ‘Thank you for this. I often used to slip out to the ramparts with Elliot to watch the sunrise. The birdsong there was never like this.’
He smiled. ‘Glad you enjoyed it. Breakfast?’
‘Absolutely. I’m starving.’
‘Scrambled eggs and toast?’
‘Divine.’
They walked into the house and up the stairs. While he was brewing coffee and seeing to the food, she sat out on the veranda and gazed down over the now misty treetops. The birds were still singing but it seemed quieter out in the open than in the heart of the plantation.
When he came out with the coffee she drank hers scalding hot. ‘Coffee has never tasted so good,’ she said and then began to eat.
He laughed and she noticed the fan of wrinkles around his eyes deepen.
‘You certainly have an appetite,’ he said.
‘It’s the fresh air. I lost my appetite after Elliot died but I feel it coming back.’
‘More dawn walks for you, then.’
She glanced away from him but felt warmth spreading through her.
‘You mentioned watching the sunrise with Elliot. What was he really like?’
‘I don’t know any more. It’s not a great feeling when you’ve spent years seeing someone in a certain way, only to find out he was quite a different person.’
‘There’s always more than one way of seeing things. Maybe it’s not that what you thought wasn’t real. Maybe it was real, but there was also another side you didn’t know about. Doesn’t everyone have secrets?’
‘I’m not sure. Probably not such big ones.’
‘True.’
She shook her head. ‘I wasn’t always honest about the way his absences affected me. I just got used to them.’
‘I can understand that.’
‘What about you, Leo? What are your secrets?’
He shrugged. ‘My whole life.’
She gazed at him, wondering what he meant and what really made him tick. ‘Do you find it hard to talk about yourself?’
‘I’m certainly not used to doing it. But what I meant was, if you don’t share yourself intimately with anyone, it’s as if you as a person and your whole life become quite secretive. I have Zinnia, and Conor of course, but that’s not what I mean.’
‘You become hidden?’
‘In a way.’
‘Do you like being on your own?’
‘I’m happy with my own company, if that’s what you mean.’
‘Can I ask you something?’
He laughed. ‘You already are, aren’t you? But fire away.’
She smiled. ‘What do you wish for?’
‘To make the plantation a success.’
She narrowed her eyes slightly as she scrutinized his face. ‘I mean personally. Doesn’t the isolation ever get too much?’
‘I’m not really isolated. As I said, there’s Conor and Zinnia and, of course, Kamu.’
‘I’ve never really been on my own until now.’ And thinking of Elliot she paused. ‘Perhaps we can never really get inside another person.’
‘We see what we want to see, don’t you think?’
‘Or what the other person allows you to see.’
He nodded. ‘That too.’
There was a prolonged silence while Louisa thought about what he’d said. She believed people needed each other, that life without close contact must feel empty and purposeless, that sharing love was essential to wellbeing.
‘You’re really not lonely?’ she finally said.
He was gazing at her with intensity. ‘I didn’t say that. Life here can be lonely at times, especially the evenings, but just as you became accustomed to Elliot’s absences I have become accustomed to my life as it is.’
‘Would you ever share your life with anyone?’
‘That sounds like a leading question.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘I wouldn’t rule it out,’ he said. ‘After Alicia, I found it hard to trust anyone, so got into the habit of backing off if anyone came close.’
And now, she wanted to say. How do you feel now? But instead she leant back in her chair and closed her eyes. There was only so much she felt she could say and another long silence followed.
‘The dawn suits you,’ he eventually said, and she opened her eyes to see him smiling. ‘More toast?’
She nodded.
After they’d eaten their toast he rose from his chair. ‘I shall have to check on Conor before I get to work. Will you be all right walking back down on your own?’
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said and she too got to her feet. ‘Thanks for breakfast.’
They gazed at each other.
‘I really enjoyed it,’ he said.
On her way back down the hill, Louisa watched the striped squirrels racing up the tree trunks as they heard her passing. The birds were quieter now, though a few lone ones still continued singing. She went over everything Leo had said and even though they had spoken of Elliot, she hadn’t felt the heavy-heartedness that usually followed thoughts of her dead husband. The past seemed to be edging further away. Today she felt light as a bird herself, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her. The day no longer stretched before her emptily, and she laughed out loud as she felt a new resolve bubble through her. It was time to concentrate on the emporium. What would happen between her and Leo was uncertain, but it was clear she had made a good friend.
36.
It was raining on the morning of the ball, the light dull, so Louisa briefly let the remaining two dogs out into the garden – it was too wet to go for a walk – but she grabbed a mac and umbrella and went over to the emporium. The builders were already hard at work by the time she arrived and had completed the first few tasks, clearing up the mess left behind by the printers, and hoisting men on to the roof to clean the huge circular cupola so they’d all be able to see what they were doing. The carpentry was also underway and the shutters were being sanded. As she walked around she noticed some of the floorboards were broken in the room that had been locked.
‘Don’t you worry,’ Himal said. ‘When we begin sanding the floor we’ll mend anything that’s loose. My carpenter is already assembling the furniture and it won’t be too long before we can give the place a first lick of paint.’
Back home she went upstairs to check her evening dress had been pressed. She planned to wear an ice-blue gown made of satin. Its slim silhouette, narrow bias-cut skirt with inset panels, and natural waistline suited her tall lean shape. The bodice was semi-fitted, with a ‘V’ neckline at the back and front, and cap sleeves. She would wear it with a matching blue chiffon scarf and her sapphire earrings.
The hours passed slowly as they often did during the monsoon. Louisa listened to the rain hammering on the road and tried to read, while Margo and William braved it to pick up his suit in the afternoon, and then the three of them set about taking the photo William would need for his divorce. While Margo and William climbed into bed, Margo with her hair loose and shoulders bare, Louisa adjusted her camera. He took off his shirt, but other than that they were both fully dressed. Margo giggled as Louisa glanced up.
‘This feels so weird,’ she said.
Margo pouted and struck a wanton pose, making them all laugh.
‘Maybe put your arm around her,’ Louisa said.
‘He’ll have to do better than that,’ Margo said jokily.
William looked uncomfortable
but agreed with Margo. ‘There’s nothing for it but a smacker full on the lips,’ he said.
Louisa raised her brows. ‘Oh God. How embarrassing.’
‘Are you ready?’ William asked.
‘All set. Ready when you are,’ Louisa replied.
While William and Margo kissed, Louisa took several photos and they all again collapsed into laughter.
‘Perhaps you should get in with us,’ Margo said. ‘That would really put the cat among the pigeons.’
Later, as the evening shadows lengthened and sunlight painted pink streaks across her bedroom walls, a nostalgic feeling gripped Louisa. It affected her deeply that, despite sensing she was moving on, Elliot could still be so suddenly present. She sat at her dressing table and half expected to look in the mirror and see him standing behind her.
‘You look great,’ he’d say. And she’d smile and tell him he always said that, only now she wouldn’t smile. She’d glare at him and call him a liar.
The room emptied just as suddenly and he was gone. It seemed to her that he had heard her. And now she was left sitting at the edge of what felt like an endless silence, her thoughts and emotions suspended. She didn’t turn on the light but allowed dusk to slip into the room.
As seven o’clock came and went, Margo tapped at her door. ‘Why are you sitting in the dark?’ she said as she entered and switched on the overhead light.
‘No reason,’ Louisa said. ‘You look lovely.’
Margo was dressed in deep scarlet which intensified the shiny darkness of her hair and made her bright green eyes glitter. ‘Any sign of Leo?’ she asked.
Louisa shook her head. ‘He’s a bit late, but I’m not surprised. He wanted to make sure Conor was in bed before he set off.’
‘He’s cutting it rather fine.’
‘Why don’t you and William go on ahead and we’ll catch you up. Take my father with you.’
‘I think he wanted to meet Leo.’
The Sapphire Widow Page 23
