“You’re a damn janitor, what the hell do you know?” Tree answered nonchalantly.
The man stopped and looked at the tall, well-built boy long and hard as if he were studying an unidentified specimen. “More than you”, he said, as he continued to push the dust mop. Tree shot a three-pointer and missed. As he ran to get his own rebound, the janitor, almost whispering said, “Flip ya wrist on the release and add a lil’ more arch. Ya shot is flat. That’s why you missed tonight. Ya jump shot was flat.”
Tree stopped dribbling the ball and looked at him in repugnance. He walked off the court, placed his ball inside his oversized gym-bag, and said, “What do you know? You don’t know shit.” As Tree began to exit the gym, the old janitor responded, “More than you, that’s what I know. A lot more than you.”
As Tree walked to the parking lot, he tried to get his mind off the old janitor’s comments and as soon as he saw that he had a text from Nichelle, it was no longer a challenge to do so.
Where da fuck u @?
Da game been ova…
U bet not be wit no other bitch!!
Nichelle was Tree’s girlfriend but over the past 4 and a half years of their relationship, she felt more like, mother, big sister, lawyer, accountant, and NBA agent. She was always quick, popping off at the mouth about exactly what she was or wasn’t going to do, always complaining, and constantly sticking herself in Tree’s business giving advice even if he didn’t ask. Honestly, he was tired of her and 3 months ago, he wanted to break up with her, but somehow between school, practice and work, he couldn’t find the time.
Tree shook his head in disgust when he read her text. He knew in his heart that he had to end things with her ASAP because shit between them was getting out of control. It got to the point where he just shut down in the relationship. He didn’t complain about anything any more. He didn’t ask any questions because he no longer cared. He spent most of his time masking smiles, nodding in agreement, yet boiling with emotion that he never wanted to admit was there. He checked out. He went into that hiding place inside of himself where he didn’t have to pretend to like a chick that he didn’t. His head and heart had made a decision that his dick and brain didn’t want to follow. He couldn’t even focus in class nor on his game because part of him knew he needed to get rid Satan’s wife.
Nichelle, we need 2 talk baby. Where u @?
When he saw her waiting by his car in the parking lot, he decided that he would do it, right there. “I’m sorry, I’m pregnant”, Nichelle blurted out. There was a long, dead silence between the two and for a few moments, they just stared at each other. Then Nichelle, in a trembling voice, asked, “What do you want me to do?” Tree looked down staring at his shoes, “Let’s go home. Let me sleep on it. You know I’m a senior and this is my last year. I have a good chance of going 3rd or 4th in the draft this year. Baby, let me just sleep on it”, he said.
After dropping Nichelle off at her dorm, he drove to his off-campus apartment dazed and confused. He wanted desperately to call his Madea but he knew that she went to bed early and she most likely was asleep. “A baby?” he said with bewilderment, acting almost as if he didn’t know how it happened. “A father? Why now when everything is going so good?” he questioned. Tree was in the middle of his best season at North Carolina State University. He knew he was going to make it to the draft this year. “A baby?” he said aloud. “Shit, with Nichelle?” he asked himself. “Damn!”
Wyd? U up?
Yeah, just sitn here thinkin how I’m not ready 2 be a father, but u know how I feel about fam
143 :-)
Ily too but are we ready 4 this
WE can do anything 2gether. Don’t u thnk?
I know…but the timing is fucked up. let me sleep on it…get @ u in the a.m.
K…143, Boo, no matter what u decide
No matter what I decide? Y u putting it all on me? U da 1 gotta carry it.
So ? u tryna say nigga, it’s my decision?
I ain’t sayin shit…call me in the a.m.
Y u get a attitude? can’t stand yo ass! FU Jayden. I’ll do this shit w/o u. Punk
It was shit like that, the funky little pot shots at his manhood, “Fuck You Jayden…Punk” that really pissed him off, and instead of arguing with her, he just let it slide. In fact, he found that lately he just constantly let every thing she does and everything she says slide. He had lost himself and he felt trapped. He was used to never expressing any real emotion, except half-assed anger and even that wasn’t genuine. All the other emotions, like being in love, being happy, being sad, being confused, even just being content, were too busy being buried inside of him, too deep to let out, even if it meant that he could get rid of her. “Will I ever be free?” he thought. “Will this shit ever end?” He put on his “I don’t give a fuck” mask, rolled over, and went to bed.
In the morning, the ringing phone awakened Tree. “Hello?” he answered in a raspy voice. The silence on the other end let him know that it was Nichelle. “Keep it”, he said quickly. “I know that last time you were affected deeply and you were tripping and depressed and all that. I don’t want to put you through that again. We gon do it right this time. Uh, Baby? You still there?”
“I’m here”, Nichelle said. “Tree…” she began but stopped immediately as if she forgot what she was going to say.
“Oh shit Nichelle, just say it.” Tree demanded. “Ok”, she said, “I just don’t want be in the way of your progress. I don’t want to do anything to ruin your chances this year. You member last time? The miscarriage? I know it happened because it was freshman year and we were way too young, partying way too hard, but this time, things are different.”
“I know,” Tree said. “Believe me, I’ve weighed my options and I think this is for the best. We’ll be ok.”
“OK Tree. I won’t tell anyone until you tell me to do so, ok?
“Cool.”
“I love you Jayden.”
“I love you too.”
Tree hung up the phone feeling kind of relieved that the decision was made but also feeling the heaviness of what had just been decided; a baby with a baby mama he could not stand. “Damn, I guess nice guys really do finish last”, he thought to himself.
For the next couple of days he tried to pretend to be happy. Sadly, the only thing he really felt was pressure, which coincidentally developed into a new passion that no one knew about but him. Every jump shot, every lay up, every free throw, and every rebound depended on his future. He now felt like he had to make it to the League because he was going to be a father.
The Wolf Pack went on to win their next seven games and everyone could see that the Tree “had new roots”. He averaged 27 points per game, 11 rebounds, and 4 steals. He was playing really good basketball. One night after hitting two free throws to beat Wake Forest in a game that remained close until the closing seconds, he stayed in the gym after the game, shooting around of course, but this time, it was because he was feeling good. The gym had become his sanctuary, the only place where he felt like he didn’t have to pretend to be something or somebody that he wasn’t. He was always at total peace on the floor, very confident always played hard with a lot of emotion. When the lights flickered, he grabbed his ball and started to walk off the court. Then he appeared again, the janitor that had ticked him off a few of weeks ago.
“Hey buddy, thanks for the tips”, Tree shouted at him. The janitor approached Tree while pushing his dust mop and said, “Anytime”, not even making eye contact and moving right along. As Tree bent over to pick up his bag, he said, “I’m Jayden Oakes, but everybody calls me Tree, cause I’m tall and strong like an oak tree, get it?” he said while laughing. “I know who you are”, the janitor said while continuing to work. “I’m Jo.”
“Nice to meet you Mr. Joe. I’m sorry about the way I acted that night. I was upset.”
“I know. And it’s Jo, J-O, Jo, no mister.”
“Ok, Jo, no hard feelings?”
“It never happene
d.”
“Cool. I like that. It never happened."
“You nervous?"
"Bout what?"
“Bout going to the League? Da rules are little different, you know? Life changes."
"Hopefully for the better. Nervous though? Naw. I'm excited man. I know the rules are different, but I'll adjust. Next year at this time, I'll be playing in the NBA, married to my girl, with my newborn baby blessed with things I could only dream of. A real stable life you know? In fact, I was thinking about asking her tonight."
"You sure you want to marry that gal?"
"Nichelle? She's the reason I’m even playing here. She’s having my baby and she's been with me for this whole roller coaster ride. I might as well."
"You love her?
"I guess so."
"Boy, you ain't gotta guess."
"Well…"
"Well, since when you gotta get hitched cause yo woman is expectin'? All ya little partners didn't marry. They got kids."
"I ain't them. Man, when I was little I didn't have a daddy. After my moms had me, the sorry bastard skipped out on us. Then my mom started using heroin and I had to go live with my Aunt Shelly. Shelly had cancer and when she died, I went to a foster home, until my Madea came to get me. I just want to be a better father than mine ever was."
"Son, but you don’t love her. Folks ‘posed to marry the one they love. Look here, everything that looks legitimate ain't so."
"Man, why you riding me so hard? I'll be alright."
"Talkin bout dat gal. You know she ain't pregnant? How come you don't know dat? You bout to make a big mistake marryin dat gal. All you see is a nice piece of ass to call yours and all she sees is dollar signs. Hell, you don't even like her yet you talkin bout marriage. Marriage is sacred boy. You always running around here telling everybody to keep it 100 but you’re the one not being real wit yo self son. Everyday is a struggle, ain’t it? Pretending to be this confident star basketball player but really yo ass ain’t sho bout shit, is ya? Don't ever make a commitment to something you're not sure about. Sometimes, things happen cause they was posed to, but that girl? It ain't right, it just ain't right."
Tree looked at Jo confused and hurt because he read him like a page turning Jackie Collins book! It was as if the old man was inside of his head. He looked down at his shos as he always did when he didn’t know what to say. He started to walk out of the gym but Jo came, pushed his dust mop right along on the side of him, and said, “Next time you get a chance, check her cell phone.” Tree looked at him befuddled and kept walking toward the exit. Before he pushed his way out of the door he turned and shouted, “Hey, how you know?” There was no one there, but he heard Jo answer, “I just do.”
Tree left the gymnasium and started down the corridor to the parking lot where Nichelle was waiting for him with two of her friends. “Hey sweetie, Good game tonight”, she said walking towards him. He kissed her on the forehead and said, “So, you’re ditching me tonight to be with your girls huh?”
“Yep!” she said while grabbing his hand and placing it on her stomach.
Tree looked stunned, grabbed her hand, and whispered in her ear, “You haven’t told anyone have you?”
“No, babe, why would I do that? Unlock the car, I think I left my cell phone in there. I’ve been looking all through my purse and I can’t find it.”
Tree unlocked the car and Nichelle started going through his car like a crazy dog with mange. Tree did not understand why she was acting super paranoid. He didn’t care who she called, whom she talked to, or whom she exchanged text messages with. He tried to care, he pretended to care, in front of his friends he even acted like he cared, but he just couldn’t.
“Hey, go ahead with ya girls. I’ll look for it in the morning when it’s light out.”
“HELL NO!” I need my muthafuckin phone now.”
“No need to get upset. Are you sure it’s in my car? You didn’t leave it in your room, back at the dorms?”
“Maybe, I did. Cynthia can you take me right now? Bye Jay, I’ll call you later.”
She hurried and rushed over to Cynthia’s car in a straight panic. After they pulled off, Tree got in his car and sat there for a few minutes. Was this the girl he was really ready to spend the rest of his life with? This rude, inconsiderate, condescending, overbearing, control freak? Was she really going to be the mother of his first-born? Really? This name-brand chick that happens to care more about keeping up with the Jones’ than she cares about her grades?
He shook his head, loathing the thoughts. He then tucked all of those insecurities into a neat little box, and placed them away with the rest of his pinned up frustrations. And then he heard her phone ring. He started looking for it when he saw it light up between the crack of the passenger’s seat and the middle console. He picked it up and looked at the missed call logs. It was her cousin Renee 4 times and another number like 6 times, some dude name Marquis.
As Cynthia started to blow the phone up, Tree wrecked his brain thinking about a dude named Marquis that was in Nichelle’s dorm room about a month ago. “If he was there for Cynthia, why was he calling Nichelle?” Tree said aloud.
Suddenly, a text message came through. He debated whether to look at it because his gut just told him it was some shit that he didn’t want to read. Then Jo’s words hit him like a stun-gun, “Some things happen cause they was posed to happen…” Was he supposed to find her cell phone and see this particular message? He contemplated for a minute. Then he said, “Fuck it. That old man don’t know what the hell he talkin bout.” Then he opened the message. It was from her cousin Renee:
Bitch wyd? Y u not answerin?
He was relieved. Just girl gossip talk. But then:
I cnt believe u lied to Tree about bein preggers! He’s so fuckin stoopid. Big dum jock. Yous a lucky bitch cause that nigga bout to b $$$. U don tricked niggas B4, but this shit right here gon have u set 4 lyfe. Ask da dumb nigga do he got a homie for yo peeps? I suck dick and cook too! LMAO!!
Tree sat in his car and stared at the words on the phone hoping that they would somehow magically jump off and rearrange them selves into anything other than would he’d just discovered. He was angry with Nichelle but at the same time intrigued by Jo. How in the world could he have known that Nichelle’s phone was in his car? He drove home thinking more about Jo than he was about Nichelle’s lying, calculating ass.
As soon as he got to his apartment, Nichelle started blowing up his phone. He turned it off. He undressed and hopped in the shower getting more and more depressed as the warm water covered his body. He kept thinking and asking himself how did he end up in the middle of all this drama? Jo was right, he hadn’t been keeping it 100 with himself. He figured that he had been too passive with Nichelle. She constantly took his kindness for weakness. In fact, she preyed upon him being nice, she talked to him like he wasn’t shit and she treated him like a sidepiece. He had never disrespected her and he always let her have her way, but not this time. He could feel himself getting angrier and angrier. All those emotions that had been tucked away since his sorry, Dead-Beat mother started using and he felt handed off and unwanted, all that hurt getting shuttled from family to family, all the heartache over the years, together united with this new pain were starting to make their way to the surface. He always talked about keeping it real, prided himself on being an honest person, and always telling the truth because of his experience growing up and at this moment, he had come to the realization that he had been nothing more than an actor, a good pretender. The whole time he had been lying to himself about everything, just as fake as a $3 bill.
When he got out the shower, Nichelle’s phone started ringing. He knew it was her calling because surely at this point, she knew that Tree had her phone. He contemplated what to do next but just as he was about to shut her phone off, she received a text.
What up wit it? Can a nigga suck dem pretty titties 2nite or what?
Tree just stared at the phone. He had a gut feeling that
she had been cheating but now reading the proof, shell-shocked, and coming to realize how a few fucking text messages just changed his whole path. He attempted to turn off her phone again and then:
What? u boo’ed up wit that nigga? U cant get away 2nite?
Tree couldn’t help himself…he finally let his emotions take over.
Naw dude, dat bitch ain’t wit me. U can have dat raggedy scrape. I’m done, wit it…On 2 some new ass
LOL! Oh Shit! The fuck u doin wit her shit? Ha Ha! No disrespect nigga, but dat bitch had yo dick in a cheese grader She’ll neva treat me lik dat
What eva. do you playa
LOL! Don’t hate the player nigga, hate the game
LOL! Neva hatin on shit I already had. she all u bro
Urban Diaries Page 5
