The Face That Launched A Thousand Bullets (The Cartel Publications Presents)

by Styles, T.

  “Where you at?” Melody asked.

  “Home.”

  “I’ll be at my crib lada. But knock on the door and give my shit to J-Swizz.””

  “You sure?”

  He wasn’t feeling handing product to a third party before Melody could inspect it.

  “Positive. Did everything go okay wit Nyzon?”

  “Oh that’s that nigga’s name?”

  Melody laughed.

  “You know I don’t fuck wit’ DC cats! But it went a’ight if that’s what you want to call it.”

  “Well get over it.” Melody responded singing the rest of the words. “Because if I continue to use you, that’s who you’ll be dealin’ wit for now on.”

  I’m sick of this nigga’s shit! Cray thought.

  “It is what it is.” Cray responded.

  “Lada.”

  When he hung up, he rushed out his bedroom door with the bag in hand. He was moving out of the house and leaving everything behind. He’d buy all new shit once he got situated.

  “I’m movin’ out.” He told his mom walking past her in the living room.

  No details were necessary. With him gone, he was sure they’d lose the house. He financed everything, their drug habit included. But he was tired of having to hide his possessions every time he left the front door. The cash he wasn’t worried about because he never kept more around than he could stand to lose. And he wasn’t blind to it missing money despite tucking it under his mattress. Besides, if they took it, he wouldn’t have to give it to them if they asked.

  “I know you’re leaving, baby. It’s time.” He stopped and turned around. And the moment he did, he noticed something different about her eyes. He couldn’t place his finger on it.

  Was she clean? He thought. Fuck naw!

  “And I know you’re disgusted with everything we did to you over the years.”

  “You don’t know nothin’ bout me.” He was angry and hurt.

  “Cray, please. I might never see you again and I want you to hear me out.”

  He stopped, his breaths heavy.

  “I know you’re disgusted with me. But I swear to you…on what’s left of my life, that I’m gonna get better. And if it’s not too late, maybe I can learn to be a mother to you again. If nothing else a friend. I haven’t gotten high in over a month.” She was clean.

  Still, her body was beyond thin and the scars from the many years of drug abuse shown all over. He hated her! He hated them! He decided to put her to the test. And if she passed, who knew what life had in store for their relationship.

  “You really clean?” A maniacal grin took over his face.

  “Yes, son. I am.” She smiled proudly.

  “So you don’t want dis new shit I got in my pocket?”

  Her eyes widened a little, still she shook her head no.

  “You passin’ up on some good shit. I got this from New York and everybody hittin’ me up. You ain’t heard? These feens goin’ crazy ‘round here. You sure you don’t want it?” Silence.

  He witnessed her body shake as the desires of her mind battled with those of her heart.

  “I…can’t…I’m…tryin’, Cray. Don’t do this to me because I’m tryin’ so hard, baby.” She cried. “Please don’t make me choose when I’m not strong enough. Let me fight this thing some more.”

  “You want it or not?!” He screamed. “I ain’t got time for this shit!”

  She dropped to her knees and sobbed heavily. “Cray, please stop. Don’t do this.”

  “Fuck it I’m out of here!”

  He was halfway to the door until she said, “Don’t leave, Cray. P…Please don’t go.”

  His heart raced.

  He wondered if she wanted him or the dope.

  “I need the drugs.”

  She lost the battle and she lost him.

  He laughed although his heart broke inside.

  “That’s what I thought. I neva had a mother, bitch! So don’t waste your time.”

  He said as he went down the steps and out the front door. Leaving her empty handed.

  Kavon Cartier

  Washington, D.C.

  Daddy’s Little Girl

  Kavon hadn’t planned on seeing Tara. And most of all, he hadn’t planned on her looking as badly as she did. But it was time…time for him to deal with what he’d been running from for so many years. His failure as a husband, father and man.

  “Tiara, honey,” he said looking down at her bare feet. “Run to your room and put on your shoes.” He voice was soft. The foul smell inside of the home was so strong it weakened his stomach.

  “Okay, daddy. Don’t leave me okay?”

  “I won’t.”

  Tiara looked at her father and walked carefully past her mother. Then she jetted toward her bedroom

  “Tara…what happened?” he pushed past the dirty clothes on the floor to reach her. And the only thing that resembled the woman he knew was her eyes. “Look at you.”

  “Yeah…look at me.” She raised her arms and dropped them by her sides. “What did you think would happen, Kavon? You were the only thing I had in this world, and you took that from me.”

  “Tara…I wasn’t trying to leave you. I was tryin’ to give you a chance at a life. I ain’t want you bein’ stuck wit a nigga behind bars for forty years! I wanted you to be free.”

  She laughed heavily. “So is that what they’re callin’ it now in prison? When you run out on your family?”

  He couldn’t come back with a response.

  “I loved you, Kavon. I didn’t care if it meant seeing you in jail all 2,080 weeks.” His eyes widened in surprise at her accuracy. “Yeah I counted them. When you got locked up, I thought I would die. And then I realized, I’d still be able to see you. I still be able to see the face that got me through so many days. So I counted the weeks I’d be able to see your face. And when you left me I recounted the weeks I couldn’t. All I wanted was you. And the drug was the closest thing to you. I traded one addiction for another.” She cried rubbing her arms. “But you know what, I’m still in love with you now.”

  Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. This was all his fault.

  “Tara but,” he was interrupted by Tiara walking out with two wrong shoes. Her beauty stung him every time he saw her. She looked like a model. She was holding a burgundy diary with a gold lock. It was the only thing consistent in her life because she wrote in it everyday.

  “Tiara,” he laughed lightly as not to embarrass her. “They don’t match, baby. Your shoes don’t match.”

  “These are all I have.”

  His heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He looked at Tara and back at his daughter. A wave of temporary anger overcame him.

  “Okay, honey…go get in that car outside.” He opened the front door and pointed to the cab. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “You promise?” Tears escaped her eyes.

  “Listen, sweetheart.” All Kavon wanted was for her to look into his eyes. He felt if she stared hard enough, she’d see and feel how much he thought about her every day he was locked down. And that no matter what, he was never leaving her again. “My breath would have to be removed from my body before I ever left you again. You hear me?”

  She smiled and threw her arms around him. Believing she understood him, he breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Now go to the car. I’ll be out in a second.”

  She opened the front door wider and ran to the car, looking back once before she jumped in. Once she was inside the cab, he adjusted his book bag and faced Tara. Walking over to her, he tried to hold her but she pushed him away.

  He tried again.

  She pushed harder.

  He tried one last time and she gave in.

  Tara broke down in his arms crying her heart out. And the tears from her pain drenched Kavon’s shirt. He held her tighter. She hadn’t had an emotional release since he was locked up, and he felt she deserved it. When her cries subsided a little, he released her slowly.
/>   “We’re gettin’ out of here so I can help you.” Kavon’s voice was mellow yet authoritative.

  If she was half the woman she used to be, he knew she’d appreciate him taking charge again.

  With one hand on her shoulder he said, “You’re still my wife and I still have a commitment to you.”

  “Commitment?” She repeated with sarcasm. “Why does that matter now?”

  “It always mattered. That’s why I let you go.”

  “Why?” she asked wiping her tears. “I mean look at me. Look at Tiara!” she pointed toward the door. “I didn’t even keep our home together. I’m nothin’.”

  “Tara…I don’t care. You think I give a fuck about this materialistic bullshit?! I was willing to give it all up for you! That’s why I told Shy I wanted out of the game.”

  Her eyes widened because she didn’t know that.

  “Yes, baby. The night he,” a lump formed in his throat. “The night he raped you, I told him I wanted out. So I could care less about the money or these things. They’re meaningless! I’m not gonna lie to you. I never have and I never will. So let me say, I did come here for Tiara at first.”

  “I knew you did.” She turned away from him and walked toward the hallway. “She’s the only one you ever cared about. Now that you have her, why are you still here?”

  “Tara…please. I need to be honest with you always.” He gripped her hand softly and pulled her toward him. “At first I did come for Tiara. But the moment I saw your face, I knew I was still in love with you. I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is, I never got over you. And I doubt I ever will.”

  She cried.

  “Come with me, baby.” He wrapped his arms around the lower part of her body. “Come with us. Let’s be a family. We’ve lost so much already. We can make it if we do it together.”

  “I don’t believe in fairy tales.”

  “You use to.” He smiled. “Remember?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “Well I’m still your night and shining armor. I’m still that nigga who can make that pussy jump and your body tremble. I’m still the nigga who would lie down his life right here and now to prove how much I love you. I’m still that nigga who realizes that there’s not another woman alive out here for me. I’m still that nigga who commited murder for you. Do you believe in fairy tales now? Do you believe I’ve come to your rescue?”

  He got on one knee, as if he was proposing to her all over again. And in a sense, he was. “I fucked up, but I’m here, askin’ you to let me make things right by you. I’m sorry baby. Give me a chance.”

  She didn’t answer.

  Her silence was killing him.

  Next to his freedom and being with his daughter, he wanted nothing more.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” he said standing up as if it were a question more than her answer.

  “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

  “Me and you against the world?” He joked.

  “Always.”

  He led her to the door and she followed holding his hand. Kavon looked back once to be sure she was really there. She was. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to help her get over the addiction, but he was willing to do whatever it took to fight for his family.

  He’d start by getting both of them fresh clothes and then they’d stay at a hotel until he found a new place for them to live. He had enough cash to make everything possible. He already worked out the details to sell their home in his mind. There was no way on earth he would keep his family in Georgetown, even though it was the ritzy part of D.C. Kavon was positive that whatever she got tied into, would find her again if they stayed there.

  Once in the cab he released Tara’s hand and slid into the backseat next to Tiara. After all these years, his family was finally coming together. And the moment he sat next to Tiara, he kissed her gently on the cheek. To have gone through so much, she had so much love in her heart.

  “I love you, daddy.”

  He winked and said, “And there’s no one I love more than you.”

  With the door still open, he waited for Tara to get in next to him, but there was something in her eyes. It was as if seeing them together, made her jealous, and instead of getting in, she slammed the door shut.

  “I can’t go with you.” she sobbed looking through the rolled down window. “I’m not ready, Kavon. I’m sorry.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t feel the way I did when you left me. I just can’t. I’m sorry, Kavon. Take care of Tiara. Goodbye.” She took two steps back from the cab.

  He was silent as he pushed out the feeling of hate that tried to overcome him. How could she do this? How could she not want to see their daughter grow into a beautiful young woman?

  “You could leave Tiara so easily?”

  “I already have.”

  He was sick. Everything in him wanted to get out the car and force her to get in. He envisioned grabbing her by the back of her neck and pushing her inside the car. He’d be damned if he’d allow drugs to maintain its hold on her life.

  In fact, he moved to do just that until Tiara gripped his arm, reminding him of his original purpose. He turned around looked at his daughter and just like that, his heart softened and his chest hardened. He had to protect Tiara and getting her away from Tara may be the best thing for her.

  Turning back around he faced his wife and said, “It’s your call.”

  With those words he told the driver where to go and looked at Tara one last time, until she was out of sight.

  Crayland Bailor

  Reisterstown, Maryland

  Beauty Is Her Name

  The temperature was hotter than normal outside. Any other time Cray and his boys would be in the house until it cooled off, but today was different. They’d just finished lugging Cray’s stuff into his boy Blunt’s crib, and was in the garage sipping beer. He decided to stay with him in Reisterstown, Maryland, until he figured out his next move.

  Vic who was now called Blunt, had been cool with Cray ever since he warned him against going to Hammerjacks, a nightclub in Bmore. Turns out this nigga name Greedy Gary was after him after he murdered his friend who really was his gay lover. But instead of Greedy Gary poppin’ his head, the moment Greedy’s timbs touched the curb, Cray unloaded so much lead into his skull, the morgue technician gave up trying to take it all out.

  Blunt was a hand to hand cat most of his life. He dropped out of elementary and worked for a few small time dealers around his way. Before he saved his change, he lived in a fucked up row house off Freemont avenue in West Bmore. He had no electricity but stole some from his neighbors by connecting to their power lines. To top it all off, he took care of his four brothers because his mother left them alone the day he turned twelve.

  So Cray knew he needed all the extra cash he could get just to survive. And when things worked out later, he had plans to make him a lieutenant, finally putting him where he deserved to be, in his army.

  Blunt also knew more about automobiles than the people who made them. If you wanted something fixed on your ride, and you wanted it done right, Blunt was the man to call.

  As he blasted NWA’s “Dopeman”, he smoked a blunt while he worked on Cray’s car. He use to smoke cigarettes all the time but traded them for weed. Nobody ever saw him without a blunt in his mouth, hence the nickname.

  “So let me get this straight, you fucked this broad in the bathroom at Giant?” Blunt asked as he looked under the hood of Cray’s car, tools in hand. He looked so much like DMX they could be twins.

  “I know ya’ll niggas don’t believe me, but I ain’t got no reason to lie on my dick. Yo ain’t give a fuck! She was straight up like, you tryin’ to see me now or what. I had to push off.”

  “That’s some nasty shit!” Markise sat in a green plastic chair and sipped on a Bud. “Niggas is gettin’ reckless wit they fuck game nowadays. Too much shit out there and I bet your ass ain’t wear a condom either.”

  “Don’t be mad cause you
can’t fuck girls like Cray! He the man!” Jason stayed jocking Cray’s dick.

  It was pitiful and Markise never gave up hope, that one day he’d be his own man. Jason and Markise had gotten closer over the years, and the only time they fell out was when Cray was involved.

  “This nigga sound dumb!” Markise shook his head in utter disbelief. He tried to position himself to sit comfortably in the chair with his leg cast on. Luckily all he had was some broken bones from the motorcycle accident. “You must be fuckin’ him too?”

  “Leave dis nigga alone! He know I be gettin’ mad pussy. But that shit today proved my point that these females ain’t good for shit! I would neva wife one of these hoes out here!” Cray said downing more of his beer.

  “You say that shit now, but one day you gonna meet the right girl to change all that shit!” Markise said as he got up, hobbled over to the cooler and grabbed another beer. “It’s just a matter of time.” He sat back down.

  “Naw…not me! All I care about is gettin’ this cheddar! Why you think I keep handin’ bitches off to this nigga?” He pointed to Jason. “Bitches come a dime a dozen.”

  “Since you wanna hook a nigga up, what’s up with Jasiya?” Blunt dropped the hood and rubbed his hand on the white oily towel. “Cause you actin’ stingy as a mothafucka wit that one.”

  They laughed.

  “That’s cause I ain’t smash yet! Greedy ass nigga tryna get the pussy before me.” Cray raised his arms up in the air with his beer in hand. “When I’m done she’s yours.”