I stopped for a moment to get my bearings and to catch my breath.
I must have been in the river longer than I realized, I thought.
The trees were less dense where I now stood. The forest was more open and welcoming. Bright patches of sunlight slanted down through the trees’ branches. In the largest patch of sun sat a cottage. It was painted white and had a thick roof of thatch. A riot of flowers bloomed in front, winding exuberantly along both sides to disappear around the back.
“Oh,” I breathed. “A garden. You have a garden.”
“Indeed, I do,” the old woman replied. “Come along with me. It will feel like yours in no time.”
How good it will be to feel the sun on my back! I thought. How wonderful to smell the scent of flowers! I wondered if this old woman loved the same kinds that Oma had. Did she have sunflowers?
“My pack!” I suddenly exclaimed. “Where’s my pack? I’ve lost it!”
“Tut,” the old woman said. She clapped her hands, and suddenly we were surrounded by a flock of crows.
“This young lady has lost her pack,” the old woman said. “Please see if you can find it for her.”
The flock of crows flew off at once, their raucous cries loud even over the voice of the river. They wheeled upward, then vanished behind the riverbank. They reappeared almost at once. Each bird held a side of my pack within its beak.
“Be careful, oh please, be careful,” I called out.
But it was already too late. With a sound of ripping cloth, the pack disintegrated. My few belongings tumbled through the air. My cloak spread out upon the breeze like a threadbare ghost. The crows began to caw in a great cacophony of sound.
That was when I saw it. The only memento I still had of home. The packet of sunflower seeds from Oma’s rooftop garden.
“Oma’s seeds!” I cried.
Then, suddenly, the falcon was there, his keen voice cutting across the harsh caws of the crows. Darting among them, as swiftly and accurately as an arrow, the falcon plucked the packet of seeds from the air with his claws.
The crows beset the falcon, shrieking in outrage, pecking at him with their sharp beaks. The falcon did not let go of his prize. His powerful wings lifted him high into the air, outpacing the wings of the crows. Nevertheless, the black beaks had taken their toll.
The falcon flew straight along the top of the riverbank before turning sharply and disappearing into the forest. The white seed packet was visible in its claws. But so were the black dots spilling to the ground in a fine black rain.
“Oma,” I sobbed as the falcon disappeared from view. “Oma.”
“That’s right, dear,” the old woman said. She began to propel me toward the cottage.
“Have no fear. I’ll be your Oma from now on. Come into the house and take a rest. Don’t you worry about a thing. Granny here can make you forget all your troubles.”
Somewhere inside me a voice protested, saying that this wasn’t what I’d meant at all. I didn’t need a grandmother. I already had one. I didn’t want to forget my troubles, for they were a part of what spurred me on. But my head felt fuzzy, my body ached, and the scent of flowers around the cottage suddenly seemed to rise up around me in a great cloud.
“That’s right,” the old woman coaxed. We reached the front door; she twisted an old brass knob and threw the door open wide. Before me was a room with dried flowers and herbs hanging from its rafters. A cheerful fire burned in a stone fireplace. The scent of something savory cooking in a cast-iron pot wafted toward the door. It was the most peaceful-looking place that I had ever seen.
“You just come right in.”
With the old woman’s firm hand beneath my elbow for guidance, I stepped across the threshold.
SEVENTEEN
Story the Ninth
In Which Deirdre Receives an Unexpected Welcome
Home!
How shall I describe what it felt like to see it again? What a powerful combination of joy and sorrow!
The great palace of ice and snow in which I had been born rose from the snowfield, solid yet whimsical somehow. The front gate had been made of iron once upon a time, or so my father always told me. But it had long been completely encased in the ice of the surrounding landscape, rendering it as white as the palace behind it. The gates were stuck open, a fact that had always pleased my father. We were a peaceful people. We had no need to bar our doors.
Behind the gates, the palace rose up like a great wedding cake, tier upon tier of floors, of battlements, of towers. In the very center, at the top of the tallest tower of all, was the room my mother had preferred. As I gazed upward, the sunlight caught the windows, casting a sparkle of rainbows across the snow. It was from one of those very windows that I had fallen long ago.
“Look.” I suddenly heard Kai’s voice beside me. “I think someone is coming out to meet us.”
I felt the grip of his hand tighten on mine. All through the hours of our flight, Kai’s hand had remained steadily on mine. When at last our feet had touched the earth, he’d swayed a little, like a sailor adjusting to dry land.
We had set down a little ways from the palace. I had wanted to walk toward my home as I once had been required to walk away from it. I tried not to think about the fact that my father would not be waiting there for me. But now, as I watched, a lone figure slowly made its way out of the palace and walked toward the gates.
“I wonder who it is,” I said.
“There’s an easy way to find out,” Kai said with a smile. He took a step forward. I stayed rooted to the spot.
To my dismay and astonishment, my feet, which had carried me through so many foreign lands, abruptly refused to take me any farther. Much as I told myself I wished to, I could not move a muscle. I could not bring myself to take the last few steps, the ones that would truly bring me home.
I’m afraid, I realized. More afraid than I could remember being before.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “I can’t, Kai. It won’t be the same. I’m not the same.”
“Well, of course not,” Kai said simply.
I felt a rush of emotion, so foreign that for a moment I could not recognize it. Gratitude, I thought. Kai hadn’t argued with me, hadn’t tried to talk me out of what I felt. He’d simply acknowledged the truth of my words.
I was home. But home was now a place that was both familiar and foreign. Foreign I can do, I thought. And suddenly my feet began to move forward of their own free will, for they knew how to walk toward the unknown.
Together, Kai and I walked until we stood directly in front of the open gates. When we got there, the individual who’d come out to greet us bowed low.
“My lady,” he said. I gave a start. I’d been so wrapped up in coming home that I’d forgotten the obvious: I was the ruler of this land now. As if to confirm my thoughts, the man before us spoke again.
“Your Majesty, I should say.”
“Thank you,” I said. Well, that’s going to take some getting used to, I thought. “I appreciate your welcome. It is most kind.”
Oh, for pity’s sake, Deirdre, I thought. Could you sound a little more stuffy?
Slowly, as if my thanks released him from the need to bow, the man straightened up. Only then did I realize how old he was. For several moments, I gazed into his ancient face. He stared back, his eyes intent on mine. They were dark, and they did not seem to have aged. They were still quick and sharp. I felt my own eyes widen in disbelief.
“You look the same, yet not the same, if you will permit me to say so, Highness,” the old man said. “I believe your father would have been proud.”
“Dominic?” I breathed. “Can it really be you?”
The weathered face broke into a smile. “I am honored that you recognize me,” my father’s steward said. “I always told your father that you would, when the time came.”
“But how is this possible?” I asked. “I mean surely ... I’ve been gone so long ...”
“Not as long as you might think,
” Dominic answered. “But no matter. I made your father a promise, many years ago. A promise while he was on his deathbed, though I am sorry to speak of this on your homecoming.”
“What did you swear?” I asked, even as I felt my heart cry out. I had known my father would not be here to greet me, had known it before I set out. But hearing his death spoken of was still painful.
“I swore I would be here to greet you upon your return, so that there might be at least one face in your kingdom that was familiar,” Dominic answered quietly. “I swore I would do this no matter how long your journey took.”
He gestured toward himself. “You see before you the power of this vow.”
“I am glad of its strength,” I said, speaking from my heart. Then, in a move that surprised us both, I stepped forward and threw my arms around him. I felt Dominic enfold me in a surprisingly strong hug.
“You are like your father,” he whispered in my ear. “You inspire love.”
“You are the one who knows best about love,” I replied as tears blurred my eyes. “For surely your presence demonstrates its power.”
I released him and stepped back. “There is someone I would like you to meet,” I said. “Dominic, this is Kai.”
But as I turned toward him, I saw Kai sway on his feet. For the first time I realized that his teeth were chattering and that his lips were all but blue with cold. I, who am never cold, had forgotten the fact that Kai might be, that he must be, and that he no doubt had been cold for many hours. We had flown through the air on the back of the wind. We stood in the land of ice and snow.
“Quickly,” Dominic said. “Let us get him indoors. We will find a way to warm him.”
And so, with Dominic supporting Kai on one side and me on the other, we passed through the gates of the palace and I was finally home.
EIGHTEEN
My first weeks in the castle passed in one great blur. There were so many new things to learn, now that I was the ruler of my homeland. I spent many hours each day with Dominic. Kai explored the palace on his own. But when Dominic and I were finished working for the day, Kai often joined us. Much to my delight, the two men liked each other at once. Their talents seemed complementary. Kai was always curious, and Dominic was a natural teacher.
“He is a fine young man,” Dominic observed one morning. “He has a good pair of eyes and a keen mind.”
We were alone in the room I would always think of as my father’s study. I had been going over a list of the mayors in the principal cities of the realm. My interest in names was coming in handy in a way I’d never anticipated. It made it easier to commit the mayors’ names to memory.
Dominic and I had had several discussions about the best way for me to meet my subjects, but it was actually Kai who suggested the course of action I decided to adopt. Instead of waiting for people to come to me, I would make a tour of the kingdom. Such a journey would be a good way to show my people that I was as interested in them as they were in me.
The fact that the Winter Child had returned at last to take up her duties as queen of the land of ice and snow had caused great excitement throughout the land. Naturally, my people were curious to see what I looked like. Almost none of them had been alive when I’d first set out on my quest.
I had worried that, having fulfilled the vow he’d made to my father, Dominic’s strength would now begin to fade. If anything, it was just the opposite. He seemed to flourish under the responsibility of tutoring me in my new duties. And he genuinely enjoyed the time he spent with Kai.
Kai and I had been given little time alone together since our arrival. This was to be expected, of course, and I was genuinely pleased that Kai had found so much to interest him around the palace and grounds.
As the days went on, however, I found myself lifting my head from my books, as if hoping to hear the sound of his footsteps in the hall. I never did. Instead, I was the one who sought him out. I frequently found him at a window, staring into the distance, lost in his own thoughts.
Though he always turned to me with a smile when I spoke, there was also always a moment that caused my heart to miss a beat: the moment before he turned, when it was clearest that, though Kai’s body was present, his spirit had traveled far away.
“Are you unhappy here, Kai?” I asked one afternoon. Dominic and I were taking a break from our session.
“Unhappy?” Kai echoed. He turned around quickly. “No, of course not. Why do you ask that?”
“It’s hard to explain,” I said, half wishing I hadn’t spoken. What would I do if he said he was miserable and that he wanted to go home?
You know the answer to that, Deirdre, I thought. I would have to let him go. I could not hold Kai here against his will.
“Sometimes you seem pleased to be here, other times you seem far away.”
Kai was silent for several moments. “I am far away,” he finally said. “Far away from all that is familiar, far from my home.”
I pulled in a silent breath. “Do you want to go home?”
Kai shook his head swiftly, and I felt myself relax a little. “No,” he said, his tone firm. “I don’t. It’s just ...” He turned to look out the window once again. “You have a true place here, Deirdre. I do not.”
“Not yet,” I said, just as firmly.
“Not yet,” Kai said with a slight smile. He continued to gaze out the window, and I wondered if he was thinking of Grace. I moved to stand beside him, our shoulders just touching.
“Give it time, Kai.”
“I will.” He nodded. He turned to look at me then. “I’m used to being, well, useful, I guess,” he went on. “I love exploring the palace, learning how things work, but the truth is, all I’m doing is satisfying my own curiosity. I’m not doing anything. I’m not accomplishing anything. It makes me feel unsettled and ...”
“Useless?” I suggested.
Kai made a face. “I sound like an idiot, don’t I?”
“I think you make perfect sense,” I said. “In fact, I have a proposition for you. Dominic is going to travel with me, as you know. I need someone to run the palace in our absence. I’d like you to have the job.”
“I don’t know anything about running a palace,” Kai protested.
“But you could learn,” I said. “You could figure it out. That’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?” I put a hand on his shoulder. “I want you to be happy here, Kai. I want you to feel that you are needed and that you belong.”
“I want that too,” Kai said. He lifted a hand and placed it on top of mine. “Deirdre, I—”
“Oh, there you are, Your Highness,” Dominic’s voice suddenly said from behind us. Kai and I started, then took a step apart. “And good afternoon, Kai,” Dominic went on. “I am sorry to interrupt, but I’m afraid it’s time for Her Majesty and me to resume our work.”
“Kai has just agreed to run the palace in our absence,” I said as I turned toward Dominic.
“Excellent,” my steward said at once. “That is a sound choice. I will be happy to answer any questions you have before Her Majesty and I depart.”
“Thank you,” Kai said, his tone wry. “I’m sure I’ll have some.”
“See you at dinner,” I said.
Kai nodded and moved off down the corridor.
“I apologize,” Dominic said quietly as we turned our own steps toward the study. “Perhaps I should not have interrupted.”
“No. It’s all right,” I said.
“Kai is a fine young man,” Dominic said, voicing the opinion he’d shared many times before. “But might I ask what plans Your Highness has in store for him?”
“What makes you think I have plans for him?” I asked, unnerved by the question. Are my feelings so obvious? I wondered. “He’s a human being, not a piece of furniture to be moved from room to room. I’m sure Kai has plans for himself.”
“Of course you’re quite right,” Dominic said at once. We had reached the study. He opened the door, then stepped aside to let me enter first. �
�I should not have inquired. I have overstepped my bounds.”
I waited until we were both inside with the door closed before I replied.
“Of course you should have inquired,” I said. “I know my father relied on you to speak your mind. I do too.”
“It is my pleasure to assist Your Highness to the best of my ability,” Dominic said. He sketched a quick bow.
“Even when I behave like a bad-tempered school-girl?”
“Especially then,” he said with a smile. We looked at each other for a moment, and I thought I saw both joy and sorrow in his eyes. Somewhere between the two, I thought, is where I want to be, just like everyone else. I just didn’t know how to get there.
“I should help you most when you need it most, Highness,” my steward continued. “Would you like me to aid you now?”
“I’m not sure I know what kind of help to ask for,” I confessed. “It seems my ability to read hearts is deserting me, just when I need it most.”
“I doubt that very much,” Dominic replied. “But if I may ...”
I nodded. “Please, go on.”
“I’m not sure you can read a heart in the way I think you mean,” Dominic continued. “A way that would let you figure out what that heart will decide ahead of time. No one possesses that gift.”
“Then what must I do?”
“Be patient,” Dominic answered. “Learn to trust.”
“Which one of us?” I asked. Dominic smiled. I caught my breath. I recognized that smile. My father’s face had worn it every time I’d solved a difficult puzzle faster than he’d thought I might.
“If you can ask that question, you may need less help than you think you do, Highness,” he replied.
“Dominic,” I said suddenly. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything that lies within my power,” my steward answered promptly.
“Will you stop calling me ‘Majesty’ or ‘Highness,’ at least when we’re alone? I’d like you to call me by a proper name.”
Once Upon A Time (8) Winter’s Child Page 10
