by Lori Ryan
Jill settled back for the rest of the trip, leaning back in her seat and watching the road in front of them. They drove in silence for a while; the kind of comfortable silence that neither felt driven to break or fill simply for the sake of it. When Andrew spoke, his tone was serious for the first time in the trip.
“Do you still want it? Family? Love? Kids?” Andrew asked Jill.
Jill felt a kick in her gut at the question and measured her response. “I do. The only problem is that I no longer believe that love can be lasting and I can’t figure out a way around that. And, I know that Jake was an ass, at best.” Jill stopped and grinned at Andrew, acknowledging the reference to Jake’s ass-ness once again.
“But…” She took a shaky breath and continued. “When we got married, we were in love. It just died somewhere along the way. I honestly don’t know how I would trust in love again or trust that my husband wouldn’t leave again. I think I’d walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time.”
Jill was quiet for a minute before she continued. “With Jake, I was so sure, so confident of our love and our marriage until the day I was completely blindsided. I don’t want to be blindsided like that again. I don’t think I could handle that.”
“Why didn’t you guys have kids?” Andrew asked.
“We almost did. We waited a few years before trying so we could just enjoy being married to one another for a while. Three years in, I got pregnant but I lost the baby in my tenth week.” Jill’s voice broke slightly as she said the words. She hadn’t spoken of her baby in a long time. Hadn’t told very many people about it.
“I’m sorry, honey.” Andrew reached over and threaded her fingers in his. Jill smiled at him.
“It’s okay. It was hard at the time, but I guess I just think it must have been meant to be. Now that things worked out the way they did with Jake, it’s a relief not to have kids involved,” Jill said.
“Did you guys try again after that?” Andrew asked. He kept his eyes on the road even though there wasn’t much to keep an eye out for in the wide-open space.
“No. Jake said he couldn’t watch me go through that again. Looking back, I think that was an excuse. I don’t think Jake wanted kids.” Jill saw everything about her marriage through a new lens now that she was on the outside.
“Can you…I mean?” Andrew started but didn’t seem to know how to ask what he wanted to know. Jill filled in for him.
“Have kids? Yes, I think so. The doctor said he saw no reason for me to miscarry again. Some women just lose a baby for no identifiable reason but then go on to have several children without any issues. Of course, that would mean either doing it on my own or trusting someone else again.”
“Do you think you would ever have a child on your own?” Andrew asked.
“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.” Jill frowned. “I wanted that baby so much at the time.”
Jill didn’t say anymore and Andrew stopped questioning, letting them slip comfortably back into the silence.
At sunset, they stopped again so that Jill could capture the sun setting over the horizon. They pulled off the highway for dinner at a restaurant before checking in at the resort and spa for the night. The conversation had returned to light-hearted banter and easier topics than the heaviness of marriage and the shared anguish of lost children.
Chapter Twenty-four
When it hit Andrew it hit him hard. So hard, he was sure he might have been knocked off balance if not for the large boulder he leaned on as he watched Jill photograph the stunning canvas of Big Bend National Park.
Andrew loved Jill. He almost laughed at the realization of that. Laughed at the fact that he hadn’t seen it until that moment. How could he have missed it? In such a short time, Jill had crept into his heart and laid claim to it and Andrew had been powerless to defend himself against her. The funniest part of it was that he didn’t mind at all. He wasn’t in a panic like he thought he would be. Andrew was completely calm while the emotion washed over him as he watched Jill.
Even so, he sure as hell couldn’t tell Jill he loved her. That, for damned sure, wasn’t gonna happen. And it surprised Andrew to realize that it wasn’t his own fears that stood in the way. He wouldn’t be afraid to tell Jill he loved her because of his own baggage. No. The problem was with Jill hearing it.
He knew Jill would run like hell if he mentioned love. She was too gun-shy after her marriage. But he did need to figure out how to convince Jill to spend the rest of her life with him without actually telling her the truth – any other result would leave him broken again. He simply couldn’t conceive of a life without Jill by his side. Without her smile and those smoky, smoldering eyes and the laughter he loved to hear. Without her sexy, sensual kisses that knocked him on his ass and without waking up to find Jill in his arms.
Jill turned to Andrew with a smile that pulled him out of his musing.
“You must be bored to tears,” she said apologetically.
If only she knew.
“Nope. Not at all. I like the surroundings and the view is…exceptional,” Andrew said as he looked straight at Jill. “Besides, I like watching you work. I can tell that you’ll pull images out of here that I wouldn’t have spotted for all the world. It’ll be incredible to see what you bring home and to know I was there and missed all the nuances you spotted. It’s like you have a different set of eyes and you’ll show me, let me in on all the secrets, when we get you home to your darkroom.”
Jill stared at him with eyes wide and her mouth forming a small O.
“What?” Andrew asked with a laugh?
Jill shook her head. “You always say things that make me feel so special. How do you do that? You know the right thing, just the right thing, to say all the time – even if I didn’t know what I needed to hear until after it was out of your mouth.”
Andrew grinned and pulled Jill into his arms for a long kiss then rested his forehead on hers. “What can I say? You bring it out in me,” he teased. He wanted to keep things light as his mind churned up a plan to convince Jill to overlook her fear of love and stay with him forever.
***
With all the strength she could manage, Jill was fighting to keep from falling head over heels for Andrew. The man was not making it easy on her. He went hiking through the park with her, waited patiently for over two hours while she watched for a family of black bears until they came close enough to capture photos through her telephoto lens. Then Andrew hiked higher into the hills with her to try to spot a mountain lion, based on reports of a sighting in that area the previous day.
And now, as Jill lay in Andrew’s arms in bed trying to catch her breath and to steady herself, she could scarcely remember her name. Andrew had tormented and tortured her in the most sensual, delicious ways. He began with those hot, drug-like kisses that swept Jill under instantly, making her knees weak, her mind foggy. After bringing her almost to orgasm with his hands and tongue, he plunged into her, filling her for a few heady, perfect strokes and then pulled out only to begin his ministrations with hands and tongue all over again.
Andrew had played with her, repeatedly burying himself in her only long enough to have her begging for release over and over until she was coiled tight as a spring and ready to explode.
When Andrew finally pushed her over the edge Jill had tumbled into a climax that strummed and pulsed through her whole body in a way she had never felt before and, was ashamed to admit, would beg for again and again. Jill no longer thought about her ex-husband and how unsatisfying her sex life had been with Jake. Now that Jill had a point of reference, her only thoughts were on Andrew and the places he took her when they were in bed together.
She couldn’t allow herself to fall for Andrew emotionally, but Jill would permit herself to wallow in the magic of his hands, his mouth, his body, for as long as she could. That much she could give herself. And him.
Chapter Twenty-five
Andrew lay holding Jill in his arms, hands idly runnin
g patterns up and down her the smooth, creamy skin of her torso. He had never experienced anything like the pleasure he found in Jill’s arms. And as Andrew held her, it suddenly became crystal clear. He knew how to convince Jill to marry him. How to build a life with Jill forever. Andrew had to be clinical about it. Logical and practical. Because if the topic of love came up, Andrew was confident Jill would run.
It was staggering how perfect a fit they were for one another. Andrew who thought he would never risk saying those words again, and Jill who could never stand to hear them again. Taking a deep breath, Andrew set out to fit the pieces of their perfect puzzle together, without sending Jill into flight.
“We should get married, Jill,” Andrew said, not stopping the strumming of his hands across her body.
Jill moved in a flash. She suddenly stood completely naked at the foot of the bed looking at him as if he had two heads. She was so incredibly beautiful. So, so… Andrew couldn’t think of a word to describe Jill’s beauty. There just weren’t words for how Jill looked standing there with nothing covering her except for a look of incredulity.
He chuckled and held out his hand to her, calling Jill back to bed. “Calm down, honey. Come listen to me. You’ll see I’m right.”
Jill gaped at him and shook her head. She didn’t come back to bed.
“Really, Jillie, come here. You’ll get cold standing there like that,” Andrew coaxed, with a pointed look down the length of Jill’s naked body.
Jill looked down as if she had forgotten her naked state and yelped before jumping back onto the bed. She wrapped herself in one of the sheets, but didn’t wrap herself back in Andrew’s arms. She stayed on the other side of the bed, eyeing him suspiciously. Jill still hadn’t said a word, so Andrew plunged into his pitch.
“Think about it. We’re perfect together. We both still want a family, a good marriage, even though we can’t exactly trust in love the way most people might. But we’re great friends, we more than enjoy each other’s company, and we’re great in bed together. Our chemistry is…well, phenomenal, to say the least,” he said with a grin.
“I…I can’t, Andrew. I can’t go through that again,” Jill protested.
Andrew held up a hand, palm out to her. “Hear me out. I’ll give you a guarantee. A penalty clause to keep you feeling safe. I’ll have my lawyers draw up a prenup that gives you everything I have, every ounce of my money and property if I leave you at any point. That’s millions, Jill. A lot of millions. I’d even lose Adelaide. The only way the marriage would end would be if you wanted it to end. Not me. You’ll never have to worry about being blindsided again, Jill.”
Andrew could see the temptation pulling at her, but she remained wary. She shook her head silently for a moment.
“What about you, Andrew? What guarantees would you have?” Jill asked.
“I don’t need guarantees from you, Jill. I’ve known you half my life. I know you’d never hurt me the way Blair did. I know you wouldn’t, hell, couldn’t even contemplate the kind of cruelty she displayed. It’s just not in you to do something like that.”
Andrew took a breath and then threw in the biggest lure of all. “We can try to have kids, Jill. And if you can’t, we’ll adopt, but I bet we can. And, we’d be good parents together, because we have a good friendship as our foundation. We’re good together, Jill. We’re good for each other.”
By now, he had coaxed Jill back to his side and Andrew’s hands began their soothing play over her back, her arms and shoulders. The two of them lay quietly like that for a long time. Andrew barely breathing. Jill thinking so hard it was almost audible.
“Yes.”
She said it so quietly, he wasn’t sure Jill had actually spoken. Just the quietest whisper of ‘yes’ and Andrew’s heart kicked in his chest.
Andrew pulled her back and looked into her eyes. “Yes?”
Jill nodded. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Andrew.”
Andrew closed his eyes and pulled Jill close, reveling in the power of that one word.
It wasn’t traditional or romantic or any of the things that a proposal should be – and that tore at Andrew’s heart because he wanted more than anything in the world, to give Jill all of those things and more – but it was what Jill needed it to be. And from that moment on, Andrew knew that he would always put Jill’s needs above his own. He would forever do whatever it took to keep Jill happy.
Chapter Twenty-six
Andrew returned to the office Monday ready to share his good news, only to face another surprising blow. Patty had been hit by a presumed drunk driver on Friday night. It happened right in the parking garage connected to the building where Sutton Capital leased its office space.
Patty was in stable condition but she suffered numerous broken bones and a concussion. She hadn’t seen much. Only a dark sedan. The driver seemed to be bending over the passenger seat as if they were reaching for something. Two seconds of the driver’s inattention caused such pain for Patty. Thankfully, her injuries were not life threatening and her recovery would be complete.
The worst part of all was that the driver didn’t pull over. The person left Patty there in the parking lot to be found by the security patrol. Video surveillance of the exit showed only a black sedan with the license plate missing on the front of the car and covered by mud on the back. The driver wore a hat and could not be seen clearly in the fuzzy tape.
For the second time in a week, Andrew was grim as he sent flowers to one of his staff to encourage a speedy recovery. At least Debbie was back at work and seemed to be feeling fine. It made Andrew feel marginally better to see Debbie up and around.
“Hey, guys,” Andrew said as he walked into Jack’s office to meet with Chad and Jack.
“Hey, how was the trip?” Jack asked.
Andrew grinned. He had planned to wait to tell them so he and Jill could tell everyone together, but what the hell? He couldn’t get the smile off his face or hide his happiness, so why not tell his best friends?
“Jill and I are getting married.” It felt weird to say it and by the shocked looks on his friends’ faces, it sounded a little funny too.
“Holy shit! We send you off for the weekend, a confirmed bachelor, and you come back ready to tie the knot,” Chad said.
Jack just grinned and shook Andrew’s hand, pulling him in for a one-armed hug.
“I love her. It just hit me one day. I just can’t picture life without her,” Andrew said.
Jack got a funny look on his face. “Did you tell her that?” Jack asked. Andrew and Jack had talked about Andrew’s feelings about confessing love to someone.
“Oh, hell no. I wanted to but she’d freak if I told her that.” Andrew heard groans from both of his friends but continued on. “Jill’s not really in a place to hear that. She was in love with her husband and thought her husband was in love with her. After the way that ended, she says she won’t put her faith in love again. She would run if I told her how I feel.”
“So, how exactly did this proposal go?” Chad asked, scrubbing a hand over the back of his neck.
“It’s complicated,” Andrew said. This earned him hard, level stares from both his friends.
Andrew shrugged. “Look, all you need to know is that we’re great friends, the chemistry is off the charts, and we want a life together. We both want a future together. That’s all that matters. How I got us there isn’t important.”
Jack was the first to diffuse the tension. “Hey, far be it from me to judge. I paid my wife to marry me and look how happy we are. If this is what you want, I’m happy for you, man,” Jack said.
“Yeah, Jack’s right. Congratulations, little guy.” In light of his unusual height and size, Chad called Jack and Andrew ‘little guy’ fairly often. The clap on the back told Andrew Chad was trying to lighten the mood.
Jack grabbed a bottle of Scotch from a drawer and poured each of them two fingers to toast Andrew’s good news before they settled down to begin their morning meeting.
***
Just before lunchtime, Jennie was surprised to hear that all staff were being called for an impromptu employee meeting in the front lobby. This wasn’t anything she’d ever seen before at Sutton Capital. Jennie walked to the front lobby and took a spot at the edge of the group waiting for Jack to begin the meeting.
“I know this is a bit unusual, guys,” Jack began in the informal way he often addressed the close-knit team at Sutton. “But we have a few things to celebrate today. First, I want to welcome back Debbie, who assures me she’s feeling better than ever.”
Amidst the clapping and good-natured welcome back messages from those around her, Jennie heard a harsh whisper next to her.
“What is she doing back?” Jennie turned to see Theresa’s pinched face next to her.
“Um, I guess she’s ready to come back?” Jennie said uneasily. Jennie was never at a loss for words. Except around Theresa. Something about this woman just wasn’t right. Moments later, her theory was confirmed when Jennie saw Theresa’s response to Jack’s second announcement.
“And, congratulations are in order for Andrew as well,” Jack continued when the room quieted down. “Andrew and his girlfriend, Jill, got engaged this weekend. Congratulations, Andrew!”
This time the room exploded in talk and cheers as all of Sutton Capital lined up to celebrate with Andrew. In the middle of clapping her hands, Jennie felt Theresa’s hand clench down on her arm in a crushing grip.
“I thought you said he had only been dating that woman for a short time? Why would he be marrying her?” Theresa spit her words out.
Jennie stared at the woman next to her and then wrenched her arm free. She rubbed the spot where Theresa’s hand had gripped her arm, sure there would be bruises tomorrow. Every red flag that Jennie had was raised as she watched the look of rage on Theresa’s face.
