by Lori Ryan
Jill sank down onto the couch and curled her feet under her. When Rev lay down on the floor near Jill, Kelly took her place at the other end of the couch and Jill launched into the whole story.
“So,” she concluded, “when I finally realized I’d fallen in love with him, I just couldn’t go through with the marriage. He’s always shown he cared about me. I know Andrew cares a hell of a lot more than Jake did, but I realized that’s just not enough. I can’t go into a marriage that’s going to be so one-sided again.”
Kelly reached over and squeezed her friend’s hand. “You know what I think? I have a feeling that with Jake, you found a man who was perfectly willing to tell you he loved you, even though he didn’t. And I think with Andrew, you found a man who can love you but can’t tell you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I see love when you guys are together, but from what Jack tells me, Blair really did a number on Andrew. I doubt he can bring himself to admit how he feels to you, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that he loves you.”
“I’d like to think so but that doesn’t mean I can take that chance. If I married Andrew and it turned out he didn’t love me, I wouldn’t recover this time, Kels. He would stay with me for the money, but eventually he’d resent me. We’d end up hating each other. Hell, I’d hate myself for keeping him with me by using the penalty clause. But, I wouldn’t be able to let him go. You’re right, it’s a hot mess.” Jill shook her head and swallowed hard, trying to ward off the tears that threatened – but they fell anyway.
Kelly had no more words to offer so she held Jill while she cried. When Jill was spent, Kelly helped her clean up and tucked her into bed before letting herself out the front door.
***
If Andrew could just stay mad at Jill, he could hold the pain in check. So he worked and he stewed and he stayed angry. He told himself over and over that Jill was just like Blair – that Jill had hurt him just like he knew she would.
Over the next two weeks, he threw himself further into work, spending long hours at the office, taking on new projects, and terrorizing his staff with his bitter anger. Andrew knew he was driving everyone around him crazy but he didn’t know any other way to keep the pain from bubbling up inside him.
On Thursday afternoon of the second week, Jack finally walked into Andrew’s office and shut the door.
“Andrew, you gotta stop this,” Jack said.
“Stop what?” Andrew looked at Jack as if he didn’t know what he was talking about but he knew Jack wasn’t buying it.
“The whole finance team is walking around on tiptoes because they’re afraid of setting you off and I’ve had three of your staff tell me they need to take their comp time next week. Your staff is trying to get away from you, Andrew. No one can handle your temper right now.”
“Yeah, I know. I just really don’t know what to do about it.” Andrew let his head fall into his hands.
“What happened with Jill? You told us you broke up but why?” Jack asked.
“I wish I knew. Jill just said she can’t marry me. She’s too afraid I’ll leave her someday. I gave her a fucking prenup that gave her everything I own if I left her, Jack. What more can I do?” Andrew watched Jack’s eyebrows shoot up. Kelly and Jack hadn’t known about Andrew’s penalty clause. Andrew hadn’t really thought it was anyone’s business so he’d kept that to himself.
“Do you love her?” Leave it to Jack to know to ask that question, Andrew thought wryly. Jack had always been able to read Andrew.
Andrew just nodded at Jack.
“Did you tell her that?” Jack asked.
Andrew shook his head. “She’s not looking for love. She doesn’t believe that love can last after what Jake put her through. She wants stability and guarantees, which I gave her, but I guess those just aren’t enough.”
Jack had no answers for Andrew. “Come on. Let’s go to my house and let Mrs. Poole spoil us while we get wasted. Kelly’s headed to the spa for a long weekend with her sister so we can drown your sorrows in whiskey. I’ll have Chad meet us there.”
“No, man. I don’t want to end up like I did with Blair.” Jack and Chad had pulled Andrew out of a week-long drinking binge when Blair left. Andrew had no intention of going down that road again. “I’m just gonna head home.”
***
Jennie knocked on Chad’s office door and poked her head in.
“Got a sec, big man?” Jennie asked, irreverent as ever when addressing her boss.
Chad gave her the tolerant sigh he reserved for Jennie and waved her into the room.
Jennie shut the door and took a seat across from Chad’s desk.
“So far, I’ve got nothing we can really document on Theresa. There are odd things. For example, Andrew’s been in a piss poor mood the last two weeks since, well you know…”
Chad nodded. He knew Jennie was referring to the tension around the office since Jill and Andrew had called off their engagement.
“Well, the entire finance team is walking around on eggshells. Everyone’s miserable. Everyone except Theresa. She’s been on cloud nine. I found her humming in the copy room today. She’s probably ecstatic that he split up with Jill,” Jennie said.
“Damn. We need something concrete to fire her. ‘Gives us the creeps’ and ‘happy over breakup’ are frowned upon in human resources.” Chad leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head.
“I could have sworn I saw her coming out of Andrew’s office the other day when almost everyone had left for the day. But, it was one of those things where I walked around the corner and she was in front of his office, not in it. It just looked as though she might have just come from there.”
Chad sat up. “All right. I’ll stay late tonight and put a camera on the door to Andrew’s office to log who’s entering and when. I don’t want to put anything in his office because he holds a lot of meetings with confidential material in there. But one on the door should be okay. I’ll let him and Jack know about this.”
“I have another idea,” Jennie said, but then she hesitated.
Chad nodded at her expectantly.
“I’d like to log onto her computer and see if I can find anything more incriminating. I don’t like the idea of just sitting around waiting to see what she might do if she really is as crazy as I think she is,” Jennie said.
Chad just watched Jennie for a long minute weighing all of their options – the dangers, the pros and cons.
“Let me talk to Jack this weekend and clear it with him. I’ll let you know next week if he approves that plan,” Chad said.
“You got it, Herc.” Herc was another pet name Jennie reserved just for Chad. Short for ‘Hercules,’ it drove Chad crazy. He knew that was the allure of the nickname for Jennie.
Chad glared. “Go.”
“Oh, and Jennie,” Chad said as Jennie reached the door to his office, “if we do any snooping on Theresa’s computer or desk, we’ll do it together. I don’t want to take a chance on Theresa catching you alone, peeking through her stuff.”
***
Chad caught Andrew and Jack just as they were leaving.
“Are you serious? Theresa?” Andrew sounded incredulous as he looked from Jack to Chad and back to Jack again.
“Jennie was the first one to notice Theresa’s odd behavior, but I’ve seen it since then, too. I’m going to put a camera facing the outside of your door so we can see if she really is going in and out of your office. And, Jack, I want permission to search her desk and computer,” Chad said.
“I’ll document everything with human resources and get you approval as soon as we dot our i’s and cross our t’s,” Jack said, then turned his attention back to Andrew who was still sitting in a chair looking stunned.
“Andrew, you okay with this?” Jack asked.
“Hmmm? What? Oh, yeah. Fine.” Andrew’s head clearly wasn’t on the conversation. Jack threw a quick look to Chad.
“So, Chad’ll take care of everything. You just let us know if you see anything unusual going on with Theres
a, okay?” Jack asked.
Andrew nodded.
“You okay, Andrew?” Chad asked. “You don’t need to worry about this. Jennie and I will take care of Theresa and get her out of here as soon as we can document something that justifies firing her.”
Andrew waved off the concerned looks on his friends’ faces. “Yeah, sure. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Guess I didn’t notice anything was going on.”
Andrew pushed to his feet. “I’m heading out for the rest of the day, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He walked out of the office, ignoring the worried looks Chad and Jack exchanged as he left.
Chapter Thirty-four
That night, Andrew looked around the carriage house and shoved a hand through his hair. It was time for him to pack up and go back to his condo downtown. Lydia and Nora didn’t need him here anymore and being so close to Jill was killing Andrew. Most nights, he couldn’t resist watching her as she let Rev out in the backyard to run. He watched from the shadows and stewed and let his anger build.
Now, Andrew knew it was time to put some distance between them. Nora and Lydia had insisted he and Jill would likely work things out before the wedding date. They were plowing ahead with the wedding plans regardless of what he told them. But that’s not what Andrew he needed. He needed to try to move on and forget that Jill had ever happened.
Andrew shook his head, trying unsuccessfully to clear Jill from his mind. Thankfully, he hadn’t sold the condo. He would pack things up and move back to his place this weekend. Andrew moved to the window and looked down on Jill’s yard.
“What the hell?” Andrew said out loud as he watched Jill drive her SUV through her grandparent’s backyard. Jill stopped when she came to the pool, unable to go further. She got out of the truck and ran around the pool. That’s when Andrew saw what she was trying to do. Rev was laying on the ground seizing and Jill was struggling to lift him and carry him to her SUV. But eighty pounds of dead weight was clearly more than she could lift for long at a stretch.
“Shit!” Andrew spit the word out as he ran through the door and over to Jill’s yard through the woods.
“Jill,” Andrew shouted as he came around the back of the fence and jogged toward her.
“He’s been seizing for fifteen minutes, Andrew. I have to get him to the emergency vet.” There were tears streaming down Jill’s face as she struggled to lift Rev.
“I’ve got him, honey. I’ve got him.” Andrew lifted Rev and ran to the SUV with him as Jill followed behind.
“I’ll drive. You ride with him,” Andrew said to Jill. He carefully placed Rev onto the back seat and helped Jill climb in.
Andrew ran around to the front seat and shoved the car in reverse, backing it out of the backyard and onto the driveway.
“Where is the emergency vet?” Andrew asked as Jill clung to Rev and tried to catch her breath and calm herself.
“On Chase Parkway, near Route 64,” Jill answered. She pulled out her cell phone to call and let the vet know she was on her way. Jill had programmed the number into her phone when Rev was first diagnosed with epilepsy, just in case she ever needed to bring him in after hours for something like this. Her vet had told her that if Rev ever seized for longer than five minutes, she needed to take Rev right in for intravenous anticonvulsants. Jill was timing carefully. It had already been twenty-two minutes for the seizure by the time Andrew pulled into the lot.
Andrew picked up Rev while Jill opened the door to the clinic. Two technicians met them in the lobby to take them straight back to an exam room. When they entered the room with the dog, Andrew was instructed to put Rev on the table and they began to fire a series of questions at Jill about Rev’s age, general health, previous seizures and this particular episode.
Within minutes, the doctor entered the room and began to administer a series of medications that would, it was hoped, stop the seizure.
Without looking up, the doctor began to explain what she was doing. “I only have a few more minutes to try to stop this within the thirty-minute window that we need to shoot for so I’d like to administer meds and explain later. Do I have your authorization to do that?”
“Yes, that’s fine,” Jill said. Jill and her veterinarian had already discussed the danger of a seizure that lasted this long. She knew they needed to stop Rev from seizing before permanent damage was done.
Rev usually appeared somewhat aware of Jill when he was seizing but now he seemed completely unaware of her and his surroundings. The vet tech had said that Rev’s temperature was already at 105. Jill’s palms were sweating and she was still shaking from the effort she had exerted trying to get Rev here and the panic she felt when he convulsed.
She watched as the doctor began pushing several medications into the IV and then began to recheck Rev’s vital signs. After a few minutes, the doctor turned to Jill and Andrew.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Kerry. Sorry for the late introduction. This is the first time Rev has had a seizure of this length, correct?”
“Yes.” Jill nodded as she spoke and put one hand on Rev’s leg. She wanted to feel a connection to him and was relieved to feel that the tense spasms seemed to have left Rev’s body already.
“What happened was called status epilepticus. It’s essentially any seizure that lasts longer than five minutes. The seizure puts a great deal of strain on the animal’s body, which is one of the reasons we saw Rev’s temperature shoot up. If we aren’t able to stop it quickly, there can be lasting effects, but I think we got to him just in time,” Dr. Kerry explained.
“I’ve given him Diazepam to stop the seizing quickly and Phenobarbital to prevent the seizure from starting up again. The Diazepam is fast acting, but it only lasts fifteen to thirty minutes so we need the Phenobarbital on board before the Diazepam wears off.”
“Can you tell if there’s any permanent damage?” Andrew asked before Jill could.
“At this point we need to wait and see how he responds to the medications. I think, since he’s a young, healthy dog and we got to him within the thirty-minute window, he should be fine. I’d like to keep Rev here overnight so we can monitor him and then, if he responds well, you can pick him up tomorrow. You’ll need to see your regular veterinarian about getting him on a medication regimen to prevent this from happening again.”
“Can we stay with him for a bit?” Jill asked but then winced as she thought that Andrew probably had no interest in staying with her. She should probably offer to take Andrew home, but he nodded at her when she glanced at him.
“Yes. The Phenobarbital is going to keep him under for a while. I had to give him a fairly high dosage so it will have an anesthetic effect for a couple of hours. You can sit with him while we get an overnight suite set up for him. You can come back and visit him early in the morning if you want to but I’d prefer not to release him until tomorrow evening. I want at least twenty-four hours to monitor him.”
The doctor and technicians left the room and Jill and Andrew were left alone. Jill didn’t know what to say to Andrew so she pulled her chair closer to where Rev slept and rested her head on him, listening to him breathe.
After what seemed like a very long time, she whispered, “Thank you,” to Andrew but couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She wanted to ask how he had been. If he was hurting as much as she’d been hurting for the last two weeks. If he missed her as much as she missed him. If breathing and getting through the day from one minute to the next was as hard for Andrew as it was for her.
Andrew stiffened when she spoke and she held her breath, waiting for a response. She would give anything to be with him, but she couldn’t be with him knowing he didn’t love her the way she loved him.
“I’ll wait outside. Take your time, I have phone calls to make.” Andrew stood and walked out of the exam room and Jill wept into Rev’s coat.
The fear she had felt during Rev’s seizure, combined with the torment of being so close to Andrew but not being able to reach out and have him hold her was more
than Jill could handle. When the vet tech came back twenty minutes later, Jill had gotten herself somewhat under control but it must have been obvious she’d been crying. The poor woman tried to assure Jill that Rev was going to be okay now, but that made Jill start crying again. She was relieved that Rev would be okay, would heal and recover, but Jill knew it would be a long time before she would recover from her broken heart.
Chapter Thirty-five
Andrew stepped out into the lobby and looked down at his phone. He had said he had phone calls to make but that wasn’t true. Andrew just couldn’t be in the same room with Jill without pulling her into his arms and holding her. He knew if he did that, he might break down. His anger at Jill was slipping away and in its place was a pain so great, he thought it would swallow him whole.
As the anger subsided, Andrew had to admit what he’d known under the surface all along: Jill was nothing like Blair and she would never hurt him the way Blair had. When Jill left him, she hadn’t been motivated by greed or malice. She was just frightened and he couldn’t be angry with Jill for that any longer. It had just been easier for Andrew to hold onto hate and anger instead of letting in the sorrow he felt at losing the woman he loved.
Andrew dropped into a chair in the lobby, his forearms resting on his thighs and his head hanging down. Being close to Jill again was harder than he ever would have imagined. He wanted to shake her and tell her they belonged together. He imagined if he could tell Jill he loved her, it would all be better. They could go back to the way things should be.
But he knew he couldn’t. Not when he knew Jill couldn’t love him back – that she didn’t even believe in love. That she wouldn’t want to hear those words.
Thirty minutes later, Jill came down the hall and spoke to him.
“I just have to pay the bill and then we can go. They got him moved into the overnight area.” She sounded so quiet and sad, it tore at Andrew’s heart.
“Okay,” was all Andrew could think to say. He clenched his hands by his side to keep from pulling Jill into his arms and kept himself planted firmly in the seat to keep from going to her.
