by Fiona Riley
“You sound like Yoda.” Olivia paused at her apartment door and took a deep breath.
“No, but I’m still right. Have a good night with your girl, Olivia.”
“Good night, Christine.”
* * *
“Are we really doing this?” Olivia asked.
“It would appear as though yes, we are.” Savannah refilled Olivia’s wineglass.
Olivia raised one eyebrow in challenge before she started. “Fine. Third grade, behind the seesaw on the playground at Brown Elementary, with Max Rubick.”
“Typical. First kiss with a boy? I’m unimpressed,” Savannah teased as she leaned back on the arm of Olivia’s sofa, cradling her wineglass.
“Oh, yeah? You got something better?” Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest as she reclined next to Savannah.
“Absolutely.” Savannah leaned a little closer to whisper, “I always have something better.”
Olivia didn’t miss the playful taunt. Throughout dinner and into dessert the sexual tension between them had been mounting. She thought it had hit a peak when they tumbled onto the sofa in a passionate kiss but had been surprised when Savannah had excused herself to open another bottle of wine. When she had suggested they play an abbreviated Twenty Questions, Olivia had agreed with the hope that they could continue what they had started a few minutes before. If the look in Savannah’s eyes was any indication, they were right on track.
“First kiss—fifth grade, sleepaway camp, top bunk, Molly Parker. Who, I might add, was two years older.”
“An older woman, you scoundrel.”
“You’re up. Do your worst.”
“You might regret that.” Olivia smirked. “Okay, most embarrassing sexual encounter. Who, what, and where?”
“That feels like three questions.”
Olivia merely shrugged in response.
“Back of a Greyhound bus on the bench seat during a six-hour ride, with my college girlfriend, while her face was in my lap. We were interrupted by a male passenger who went into the bathroom next to us and asked us if he could join when he came out.” Savannah paused. “We said no. At the time I was beyond mortified. In retrospect, it was kind of flattering. He was handsome and very polite about it, and he took the rejection with a gentle smile and nod. It could have been way worse.”
Olivia laughed and shook her head. “Here I was thinking we’d had a few interesting sexual encounters, and I got beat by the Greyhound bus? Damn.”
Savannah set both of their glasses aside. She shifted on the couch and wrapped her arm around Olivia’s shoulders where she placed a few chaste kisses on the exposed skin. “You asked me about the most embarrassing, not the best. Ask me again.”
The intensity of Savannah’s gaze on Olivia’s mouth made her stutter. “What was the best?”
Savannah moved closer, placing a leg on either side of Olivia’s knees, straddling her hips as she looped her arms behind Olivia’s neck and gave Olivia an impish grin. “The best what? The best orgasm I’ve ever had? That night you came to my hotel room by accident. I remember wanting you so bad it almost hurt, and when I finally felt your skin against mine, I thought I’d come just from the sensation alone.”
Olivia let out a soft moan and gripped Savannah’s hips, pulling her closer. “Yeah?”
Savannah nodded. “Or maybe it was the third morning of our vacation together in Phoenix, after you woke me up by caressing my naked skin and when your lips wrapped around my nipple. You made me beg for it. Maybe that was the best one.”
Olivia slid her right hand off Savannah’s hip and under her shirt, palming at Savannah’s stomach as she let the memory wash over her. She’d been pleasantly surprised at how loud Savannah had been that day. It was one of her favorite memories.
Savannah closed her eyes and dropped her head back. “No, maybe it was in Chicago at my apartment when I had you on your knees from behind and when you arched back into me and we came together. My body so close to yours it was inevitable.”
“You were unbelievable that night.” Olivia licked up Savannah’s neck. “You touched every place I needed you to. I had no idea sex could be so pleasurable.”
Savannah ground her hips down against Olivia’s when Olivia’s lips finally connected with hers. They kissed passionately, hands moving greedily over each other until Olivia shifted them so Savannah was on her back, underneath her on the couch.
“I missed you.” Olivia’s breath was hot and fast against Savannah’s lips as her hand worked its way into the waistband of Savannah’s jeans and past her panties. She stroked along the slick, heated flesh as Savannah bucked below her, moving in sloppy, teasing motions until Savannah gasped and pleaded. Her fingers scratched along Olivia’s shoulders and hip. “Tell me.”
“I missed you. I need you, please.” Savannah pulled back to look up at Olivia, her breathing labored and inefficient. “Please, Liv.”
Olivia slipped inside Savannah and increased her thrusts as she asked again, demanding what had gone unanswered as she felt Savannah start to tremble with release. “Tell me, Savannah. Tell me again. Tell me how you feel.”
Savannah whispered in understanding, “I love you.”
Olivia watched the flood of emotion cross Savannah’s face as she gave Olivia the reply she was waiting for. She saw the fear, the lust, the pain, the ecstasy, but it was the adoration that drew Olivia’s lips back to Savannah’s. She knew Savannah meant every word of it. And it gave her a sense of peace to hold her as she came down, cradling her close and kissing along her face and jaw. She felt whole and loved and it was beautiful. “Thank you.”
Savannah’s body vibrated with energy as she recovered. She snuggled with Olivia. “Liv?”
Olivia propped herself up on her elbow while the fingers of her other hand continued to caress along the flushed skin of Savannah’s neck. “What’s up, sweetheart?”
“I want this to work. I want to be with you. Can we try this again?”
“The sex? Of course,” Olivia teased but Savannah pouted. Olivia sighed as Savannah entwined their fingers and held their clasped hands against her chest. “How can we make this work, Savannah?”
“I think it’s working just fine right now.” Savannah slipped her leg between Olivia’s and pressed against her. Olivia moaned in response. “We’re good together, Liv.”
Olivia nodded in agreement. They definitely had sexual chemistry, but Reagan had been right on the flight back from Chicago. Distance was going to be a real problem for them. Olivia sat up, pulling Savannah with her as she reached for her wineglass as a distraction. “My life is here. My home is here, Savannah. I don’t think I can be with someone that I never see. I like—”
“Roots. You like having roots.” Savannah’s expression was serious when she asked, “Do you love me?”
Olivia’s lips paused on her wineglass. She licked the last drop from the rim before setting it down and facing Savannah. Christine’s advice was fresh in her mind. “I do.”
Savannah nodded. “Then let’s find a way to make this work. I don’t want to spend another moment wondering where we stand. Let me show you that this relationship is possible.” Savannah cradled Olivia’s face in her hands as she implored, “Let me love you.”
“All right, show me.” Olivia’s throat felt tight as she let herself be guided off the couch toward her bedroom.
Chapter Thirty-one
It had been three weeks. Three weeks of waking up next to Savannah. Three weeks of long, passion-filled nights and soft, nuzzling kisses in the morning. It had been three weeks of dates introducing Savannah to NYC and meeting up after work to unwind before falling into bed with each other, sometimes just to cuddle, sometimes just to taste one another. It had been three weeks of distractedly staring out the window while she was at work, wondering what Savannah was up to just a few blocks away. It had been three weeks of Savannah telling her she loved her every night and Olivia still not being able to say it out loud. It had been three blissfully perfect weeks
, and Savannah’s project in NY was finishing tomorrow and Olivia was terrified.
Multiple times over the past few weeks, Savannah had tried to broach the topic of what their lives would be like after the project completed, and multiple times Olivia deflected it. The other night a frustrated frown settled on Savannah’s face and she went back to her hotel room to finish up some work. Olivia had been convinced she would get a call telling her that Savannah had been too tired to come back afterward. Which although it would have been devastating, she realized would have been completely understandable. She had been more surprised when Savannah called to let her know she was downstairs and asked to be buzzed in.
When Olivia opened the door, Savannah had the same weary look on her face that she’d had when she left, but there was something else there, too. Before Olivia could ask or back out of asking, Savannah’s lips were on hers and she was kicking closed the apartment door with a “Let’s go to bed, baby, it’s late.” Olivia didn’t argue.
Savannah licked every inch of her body that night until she almost fainted from exhaustion. When she woke up the next morning there was a note on Savannah’s side of the bed informing her that she had an early meeting and would call her later. It was signed with a heart.
That was yesterday morning. Olivia had not seen Savannah since, and the change in morning routine was devastating. Olivia missed her smell. She missed the way Savannah would let the shower water run until it was the perfect temperature and then coax her into it with promises of coffee and breakfast or even join her, if they had enough time. She missed the joyful feeling of seeing the clock at the end of the day and knowing that Savannah would be meeting her soon.
Things were so unknown now. She realized what she missed most was her infallible ability to ignore the obvious: she was in love with a woman who was about to leave and she still couldn’t say the words out loud. But she couldn’t ignore it anymore; Savannah’s project was ending at the end of the day today and she was going to lose her out of fear.
Olivia had texted and called Savannah earlier today without any response. She figured Savannah must be busy finishing her project and prepping for the launch party, so she settled back into her chair at work with a frown.
“What’s that face about?” Reagan asked as she leaned against Olivia’s desk and sipped her coffee.
Since Reagan had been so supportive of her and Savannah’s relationship, she decided to be honest. “Savannah’s project wraps today. And she hasn’t returned my texts.”
Reagan paused, setting down her coffee with calculated precision before glancing up at Olivia. “When is she leaving?”
“I don’t know.” Olivia felt the tears well in her eyes. She had not asked Savannah that bit of information. It made the ending feel too real. All she knew was that tonight was the end of the project, and Savannah hadn’t tried to initiate a discussion about their future again. It was like she had resigned herself to not knowing. “I fucked this up, Rea.”
“What do you mean? I thought things were going well?”
“They were, are, I mean.” Olivia tried to contain the sob that bubbled into her throat. “What if she already left? What if she just didn’t tell me? She tried to talk about us but I just couldn’t. What if the radio silence is because she’s gone?”
Reagan’s eyes widened in surprise. “Uh, I think you’re freaking out, Liv. I’m sure she’s just busy. When was the last time you saw her?”
“Yesterday.” Olivia sniffled.
“So relax.” Reagan gave Olivia a half-hearted smile. “Or be a total creeper and just call the hotel to see when she checks out and go be all Nicholas Sparks-y and show up at her hotel room with flowers, love sonnets, and naked apologies.”
“I wonder if it’s too late for that.” Olivia reached for the phone as she typed on the keyboard in front of her.
“What are you doing now?” Reagan attempted to see the monitor, but Olivia shooed her away. “Wait, are you really calling the hotel? I was kidding.”
Olivia ignored her and responded to the pleasant male voice on the other end of the phone. “Hi, yes, I was hoping you could tell me whether or not the person in room 457 had checked out yet?” She nodded to no one as she waited, intentionally avoiding Reagan’s glare. She had laughed when Savannah had told her the room number she was staying in during their first conversation. When she commented on the coincidence of it, Savannah had admitted to it being intentional. Olivia remembered the warm feeling in her chest when she had heard it. “Yes, I’m still here…Oh…When was that? Okay, thanks.”
Reagan tapped her foot impatiently. “Well?”
“She’s gone.” Olivia made no attempt to wipe away the tears as they began to fall. “She checked out yesterday.”
“Shut up.” Reagan shook her head in disbelief. “You’re screwing with me, right?”
The panic started to set in.
Reagan sighed and pushed Olivia and her chair off to the side of the desk. “Liv, pull yourself together and move over.”
Olivia just cried a little harder, gaining the attention of their coworkers. Her head dropped to her hands as Reagan nudged her away from the desk and bent over the keyboard. After a moment or two Reagan picked up the phone and mumbled into the receiver. Olivia didn’t bother trying to listen. She was too upset. All Olivia could think about was the last thing she and Savannah had talked about before she woke up to the note on her pillow. Savannah had told her that she loved her. She had told her that she was elated they’d reconnected, and she’d kissed her cheek and whispered that she was ready to be happy. At the time, Olivia had felt like Savannah was telling her that she was happy to be with her. But now it just seemed like maybe Savannah was trying to warn her that she was leaving—like she was ready to be happy somewhere else. The thought made her insides ache, like her soul had fractured. Her sobs were interrupted by Reagan’s warm hand on her shoulder.
“Liv, we have to go.”
“Go where, Reagan?” Olivia fought the urge to shrug off Reagan’s hand as a new wave of nausea swept over her. She shook her head and replied bitterly, “I’m going home, alone.”
“No, you’re going with me to the launch party for New Horizons’ newest project. If we hurry, we can get there before it ends and you can catch her before she flies out.”
“Reagan, didn’t you hear me? She checked out yesterday. Not today. Yesterday. She’s already gone.”
“You don’t know that.”
“If she’s still in the city, then where did she stay last night? Because it wasn’t with me,” Olivia challenged and crossed her arms as she tried to stop the painful hiccups lingering from her crying. “How do you even know where the launch party is?”
Reagan ran her hand through her hair with a sigh. “When Savannah told you she was in town, I called around to some of my engineer buddies to see if they had heard anything. I wanted to follow through, you know? See what they had done with our vision…” She shrugged. “Anyway, I just remembered that a friend of mine told me her catering company was recruited for the event, so I called in a favor and asked her to sneak us in through the kitchen. We can be there in twenty minutes, Liv. It’s worth a shot.”
Olivia gave Reagan a curious expression.
“What?” Reagan looked left and right before looking back at Olivia.
“You were checking up on the project?”
“That’s your focus, Liv?”
“No.” Olivia stood and reached for her jacket. “My focus is getting in front of Savannah and telling her I’m a jerk and that I love her. But I think it’s cute that you’re keeping tabs on the project.”
“Hey, I may be a world-class slacker, but I take pride in the work I do when I do it, especially when it’s as kick-ass as that New Horizons gig we had. I’m not about to let someone butcher it without at least knowing about it.” Reagan blushed. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“Let’s go before I lose my nerve.” Olivia grabbed her purse and headed for the elevator, hopin
g it wasn’t too late.
* * *
“Hey, Olivia.” The woman in the white dress shirt and bow tie gave her a raised eyebrow as she opened the side door of the party for them.
“Oh, hey, Hannah. How are you?” Olivia made a mental note to throttle Reagan for neglecting to mention that her catering contact was their shared bedfellow.
“Fine. Hey, babe,” Hannah addressed Reagan with a peck to her lips. “I put aside some leftovers for later.”
Reagan beamed. “Awesome.”
“You guys almost missed it. We’re already boxing up the favors for people—you better get in there.”
Reagan went to follow Olivia but stopped when Olivia turned to look at her. “I need to do this alone, Rea. Stay and help Hannah. Tell her I really appreciate this, okay?”
“Are you sure, Liv?”
Olivia looked over Reagan’s shoulder at the poorly concealed death stare Hannah was sending her way. “Yeah, I’m sure. Go be a super girlfriend.”
Reagan gave her a hesitant nod. “Good luck.”
Olivia pushed through the kitchen doors toward the sound of the launch party and grabbed the first glass of champagne that sailed by her.
The room was bustling with activity. The New Horizons logo was etched into an ice sculpture on display in front of a digital frame that rotated pictures of what she assumed was the New York site space. She recognized a few of the people lining the far wall, giving them a polite wave as they glanced back at her in surprise. She hurriedly finished her glass and handed it off to a passing waiter while she scanned the crowd for Savannah.
“Olivia, this is a pleasant surprise.” A booming voice interrupted her search.
She recognized the man from the Chicago launch. Savannah had been icy toward him and at the time Olivia couldn’t understand why. “Hello, Mr. Dodd.”
“Please, call me Ken—we’re all friends here.” His jolly red face shook with his empty smile. “Did you see the montage? The site came out great.”
