by Unknown
Convinced that the old bitch who’d claimed to be his agent had been lying about the girlfriend – because there had been absolutely nothing about it in the papers – Tania took extra-special care with her appearance on the night of the show, wanting to ensure that Larry would be completely wowed when he saw her. Then, excited at the prospect of getting back together with him, she made her way to the TV station and waited in line with the rest of the women – sneering at their stupidity as she listened to them all fantasising about him spotting them in the crowd and whisking them away. She felt like telling them all to shut their stupid mouths, because there was only one woman he would be whisking anywhere, and that was her!
Keeping her head down as she passed the security guards standing on either side of the main doors, Tania reached the desk and handed her ticket over. But then, just as she was about to follow the women who were already making their way into the studio, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
‘This one?’ the security guard asked, looking at Ayshia for confirmation.
Nodding, Ayshia said,‘Could you escort her out, please – and make sure she doesn’t come back.’
‘What’s going on?’Tania yelped as the guard took a firm grip on her arm and marched her towards the door. ‘I’ve got a ticket! You can’t do this to me!’
‘You’re barred,’ the guard told her, marching her down the steps and pushing her firmly into the road. Folding his arms then, he glared at her, challenging her to try and get past him.
Fully aware that she stood no chance of physically forcing her way back inside, Tania folded her own arms and glared right back at him, determined not to leave just because he’d told her to. But he obviously liked the staring-out game because he didn’t turn and walk away after a few minutes as she’d expected. And in the end, it was her who couldn’t take any more.
Screaming that she was going to come back and blow the station up, Tania finally gave up and stomped away with as much dignity as she could muster – which wasn’t much, given that she was already crying uncontrollably.
Running almost all the way home – which, fortunately, was only a mile or so away if you used the subways – she let herself into her flat and threw herself down on the couch to cry some more.
Everything was hopeless. She’d tried so hard, but she was never going to get to Larry. And if she couldn’t be with him, she didn’t see any point in living.
Filled with self-pity, Tania dragged herself into the kitchen and rooted through the drawers and cupboards. There were plenty of knives she could have used to slice her wrists, but she was far too beautiful to do that to herself. When she was found, she wanted to be as flawlessly perfect in death as she had been in life. And the only way of ensuring that was an overdose.
Gathering together every tablet she could find – including an old packet of paracetamol that the previous tenant must have left behind, because it was absolutely filthy when she dragged it out of the gap it had slipped into at the back of the cutlery drawer – she poured herself a glass of cheap flat cola, and carried it into her bedroom.
In full tragic-heroine mode by now, Tania wrote a letter to Larry, telling him all about how his so-called friends and colleagues had conspired to keep them apart, and saying that she was truly sorry she wasn’t strong enough to keep on trying, but that she would wait for him in heaven. Folding it neatly when she’d finished, she stood it on the bedside table where it would be easily spotted when they broke in and found her body. That done, she pulled her suitcase out from under the bed and took out her precious newspaper clippings. Selecting the one which most clearly showed her and Larry kissing at Bone that night, she sat on the bed with it and cried his name as she touched his beautiful face with her fingertip.
Still clutching the clipping, she tipped all the tablets into her hand – blissfully unaware that there were nowhere near enough to kill her but more than enough to irreparably damage her internal organs. Then, just as she raised the pills to her mouth, she took another look at the clipping – and could have kicked herself.
The reporter’s name was right there in the story! She’d wasted all this time waiting for him to find her when she could have contacted him all along. All she had to do was ring the Herald.
Rushing back into the living room, she rooted around for last week’s Herald, which she’d bought for the picture of Larry on the cover. She’d had to cut him out carefully, though, because he’d been kissing some stupid bitch who’d claimed to have cancer and reckoned that meeting him was her dying wish – although Tania suspected she’d probably shaved her own hair off just to get his sympathy. Finding the paper under a pile of clothes, she located the switchboard number and jotted it down. Then, cursing herself for having thrown her mobile at the wall that time, because she hadn’t been able to afford to replace it, she pulled her coat on and rushed out to the payphone around the corner.
Telling the switchboard operator when she finally got through that she wanted to speak to Sam Brady, Tania was gutted to be told that he was on holiday at the moment.
Saying, ‘You must have his mobile number, so can’t you just give me that?’ she was irritated when the woman said that she couldn’t give out that kind of information. ‘But he’s looking for me,’ she told her desperately. ‘He went to my mum’s house trying to find me, but my dad wouldn’t tell him where I’ve moved to. Please, you’ve got to help me. It’s a matter of life and death!’
Thinking that the girl was being a tad overdramatic, the operator said, ‘Look, love, I really can’t give you his number. But I’ll take your details, if you like, and pass them on to another in-house reporter. If they think you’ve got a story, they might contact you.’
Annoyed, because she’d really wanted the man who was interested enough in her to come looking for her, Tania mulled this over for a moment. Then, deciding that any reporter was better than no reporter, she gave the woman her name and address.
‘And what’s the nature of your story?’ the operator asked when she’d jotted them down.
Narrowing her eyes when it suddenly occurred to her that if she gave her story away to this woman she might go and sell her own version, Tania said, ‘It’s about me and Larry Logan. But I’m not telling you any more than that. Just make sure a reporter contacts me, or I’ll go to the News of the World.’
Hanging up then, she bit her lip, wondering if that might not actually be a good idea anyway. But she didn’t have any more change and, anyway, she’d have to get a copy of the News of the World to get the number, but it wasn’t out for another four days and she couldn’t wait that long. So she’d wait and see if the Herald contacted her first. At least it was local, so Larry would be guaranteed to see it. And she was pretty sure that all the other papers would soon come begging for interviews.
Sam Brady had shoved Tania Baxter to the back of his mind by the time he got the call from Hannah telling him that the girl was looking for him. After being threatened by her dad that night, he’d hit a complete dead end trying to track her down. He didn’t know any of her friends’ names, so he couldn’t ask them if they’d seen her; and she wasn’t on the electoral register, so he couldn’t find her from that. And after driving round and round Stretford for several nights on the off chance of spotting her on the street, he’d finally given up, because he had better things to be getting on with – like earning money, instead of spending it on petrol chasing wild geese.
Perking up when Hannah told him about Tania having called them looking for him, Sam asked if the other operator who’d taken the call had passed it on to another in-house reporter yet. He was relieved when Hannah told him no.
‘I know you’re on holiday,’ she said. ‘But the girl specifically asked for you, so I asked Jen to let me get hold of you first and see if you were interested.’
‘’Course I’m interested,’ he said, already getting his pen ready to write down the address. ‘How long ago did she call?’ he asked then, wondering if she’d have had time to follow through
with her threat to contact the News of the World.
‘About ten minutes,’ Hannah said, laughing when Sam hissed a jubilant ‘Yes!’
Tania frowned when she heard the knock on her front door just half an hour after making her phone call and coming back home. It was hard and fast, like a copper’s knock. Or, worse, her dad’s.
Afraid that it might be him, even though they hadn’t spoken since their last argument, she tiptoed to the door and pressed her ear against it. There was no spyhole, so she’d have to listen instead. But there’d be no mistaking it if it was him because he had a distinctive way of breathing through his nostrils that made him sound like he was perpetually furious.
Hearing nothing but the shuffling of feet, and a deep, weary sigh, Tania jumped when a note suddenly came through the letter box. Wondering now if it was a debt collector or some other official she was trying to avoid, she eased herself down and picked the note up as quietly as possible in case the person was still standing there, waiting to catch her out. Unfolding it, she gasped when she saw Sam Brady’s name and mobile number.
Fumbling with the lock, she yanked the door open and rushed out onto the communal landing. Finding it empty, she galloped down the stairs and shoved the heavy outer door open. Seeing a man making his way to a car across the road, she called out to him.
Turning back, Sam Brady looked her over and smiled, saying,‘Nice to see you again, Tania. Must say you’ve changed a bit since last time, though. I almost didn’t recognise you at the studio that night.’
‘Were you there?’Tania asked, leading him back up to her flat. ‘I didn’t see you.’
Chuckling softly, Sam said, ‘Don’t think you were paying too much attention to anyone, that night. Too busy throwing yourself on Larry’s car.’
‘God, did you see me?’ she murmured sheepishly. ‘I made a right fool of myself, didn’t I?’
‘Not at all,’ he lied, waving her into her flat ahead of him when she opened the door. ‘Wasn’t sure it was you at first, to tell you the truth. Then it clicked, and I thought, hmmm . . . wonder what that was all about. Hope you’re going to tell me all about it?’
‘Yeah, ’course,’Tania said. Then, blushing when she took him into the living room, she said, ‘Sorry about the mess and the smell. It’s damp, but the council are dead lax about coming out to fix stuff.’
Telling her that he’d close his eyes and breathe through his mouth, Sam looked around and nodded approvingly. ‘Cool flat. Is it all yours, or do you share?’
‘It’s mine,’ Tania told him, thinking that he was nothing like any of the other adults who’d come in here since she’d moved in and who had all looked down their noses. Like her dad – whose fault it was that she was here in the first place, because he’d kicked her out just for borrowing some money out of her mum’s savings jar. He’d only been here once, and had refused to sit down or touch anything; just stood there looking around with a disgusted sneer on his ugly face. And the cheeky-bitch social worker who’d helped her to get the flat, and then thought she had a licence to come round every week to check that she was keeping it tidy.
‘Love a tea, if you’re brewing?’ Sam said, sitting down on her couch as if he’d been there a thousand times before. ‘Unless you fancy something stronger?’
‘Oh, sorry, I haven’t got anything,’ Tania admitted, blushing as she added, ‘I haven’t even got any tea bags, to tell you the truth. The social’s been kind of messing me about with my money.’
‘Lucky I brought this, then,’ Sam said, bringing a half-bottle of white rum out of his pocket. ‘Not that I make a habit of carrying booze around, you understand, but I was supposed to be going to a mate’s to watch the footie when I got the call to say you were looking for me.’
‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise you had things to do,’ Tania said, hoping that he wasn’t going to leave in a hurry.
‘Hey, the footie can wait,’ he reassured her, twisting the cap off the bottle. Looking up at her then, he grinned and said, ‘Come on, girl – what you waiting for? Get some glasses.’
Running into the kitchen to fetch two glasses and the bottle of flat cola, Tania said, ‘This’ll have to do, I’m afraid.’
Telling her that owt was better than nowt, Sam poured two large shots of rum, topped them up with cola, and handed one to her. Then, reaching into his pocket for his cigarettes, switching his Dictaphone on in the process, he offered one to her. Settling back in his seat when they’d both lit up, he said, ‘So, you and Larry, eh? What’s that all about, then?’
Relaxing, because he sounded genuinely interested – and in the way a friend would be, not a reporter – Tania said, ‘Long story.’
‘Hey, just how I like them,’ Sam said. ‘Can’t beat a good girly gossip. Not that I’m girly, or anything,’ he added with a chuckle. ‘But when you grow up with five sisters, it’s kind of cool to get roped in for the opposing opinion.’
‘Five sisters?’Tania repeated, shaking her head. ‘Wow! That must have been horrible. I’ve only got one, and she’s a bitch.’
‘Cindy?’ Sam said, nodding understandingly as he added, ‘I kind of got the impression she was like Little Miss Perfect when I spoke to your mum and dad that time. Bit of a daddy’s girl, is she?’
‘You can say that again,’ Tania spat, taking a large swig of her drink. ‘Couldn’t do any wrong, her. But me . . . I couldn’t do any right.’
‘Larry Logan obviously doesn’t agree,’ Sam reminded her smoothly. ‘I mean, if there is a you and him, you’ve got to be doing something right, haven’t you?’
Smiling coyly as she took another sip of her drink, Tania nodded. ‘Yeah, I suppose so. But that was then, and I haven’t really seen him since I turned eighteen.’
‘Then? As in two years ago when you said you weren’t seeing him?’ Sam probed, his eyes twinkling as if he was totally on her side as he added, ‘I always knew he had a thing for you.’
‘Did you?’ Tania gushed, delighted that he’d seen it for himself and wasn’t going to tell her that she was imagining things – like everyone always did when she tried to tell them about herself and Larry.
‘’Course, man,’ Sam drawled, really latching onto her vibe. ‘Everyone else was like, nah . . . he’s too old for her; he wouldn’t look twice at her. But, me . . . I was just like, you know what, she’s a good-looking girl, why the hell wouldn’t he be interested?’Taking a drink himself now, he gestured for her to do the same, intent on loosening her tongue. ‘Anyway, go on . . . tell me all about it.’
‘Well, we kind of had an agreement not to see each other again till I was eighteen,’Tania admitted. ‘And then he was going to take me out for dinner.’
‘Wow,’ Sam murmured admiringly. ‘That must have been fantastic. So where did he take you? Bet it was somewhere really expensive.’
‘Well, yeah, it probably would have been,’Tania said. She sighed as she went on to admit, ‘But it hasn’t happened yet, ’cos I moved out of my dad’s, so he wouldn’t have known where to find me.’
‘Dad not too hot on him?’ Sam ventured, guessing that Logan hadn’t even bothered to go looking for her or she’d have heard, just like she’d heard that Sam had been round there.
‘No, but he just wants me to be miserable for the rest of my life,’ Tania said, swallowing the last of her drink.
Refilling her glass before she had a chance to put it down, Sam said, ‘Did he know about you and Larry, then?’
‘God, no!’Tania snorted.‘He’s the reason I lied about it in the first place, ’cos he would have battered me if he’d found out that I stayed at Larry’s flat that night.’
‘For real?’ Sam gave her another admiring grin. ‘You really stayed at his place?’Then,‘Nah, you’re having me on now. You stayed in your mate’s garage.’
‘That’s what I told everyone,’ Tania confided, biting her lip, already feeling the effects of the strong alcohol. ‘But I didn’t really. I was at Larry’s all night.’
‘Wh
at’s his place like?’ Sam asked, watching her closely for signs of hesitation: she would have to take time to think about this before she spoke if she was lying.
‘Oh, it’s gorgeous,’ Tania said wistfully – and truthfully; remembering it all too clearly, having mentally relived that night and morning many times over the last two years. ‘Everything’s just really fantastic,’ she said now, kicking her shoes off and drawing her legs up onto the couch. ‘Like, he’s got this massive bed, with a TV built into the wall opposite. And his windows go right down to the floor, with no nets or anything, so you can see all the tops of the buildings when you’re lying there. And his kitchen’s amazing. Everything’s built-in, and it’s all kind of dark red and black. You’d just die if you saw it. And the shower’s incredible. It’s got this huge nozzle in the ceiling, and there’s no curtain, or glass doors, or anything.’
Sure that she was telling the truth, because she’d never have described it in so much detail if she were lying, Sam said, ‘So, what happened?’
Giggling shyly, thinking that he was asking for details about the sex, Tania said, ‘I can’t tell you that! It’s private.’
‘Aw, go on,’ Sam urged. ‘I won’t tell anyone. Was he, like, a once-a-night man, or a keep-it-upall-nighter?’
Laughing, Tania slapped out at him, saying, ‘You’re terrible!’
‘And you’re gorgeous,’ Sam replied, winking at her. ‘No wonder Logan’s gone on you. Bet he couldn’t keep his hands off you.’
Biting her lip, Tania wondered whether she ought to tell the truth at this point. But Sam was so sure that Larry must have been crazy about her, and she was sure that he would have been if he’d been conscious. Anyway, if she admitted that nothing had actually happened, he’d think she was lying about everything else.
