by Komal Kant
The way he’d taken care of her was definitely a lot more than “caring”. I wouldn’t exactly call it a crush, either. Whatever it was, it was really sweet of him to do so much for her. When Hadie had missed a week of school, Eddie had collected all her homework for her and taken it over to her house.
I knew Hadie wasn’t even close to opening herself to Eddie in that way, but I hoped that one day she would really see him. I hoped she would see that everything he was doing for her was for their friendship and a little more. He was not a boy she should take for granted.
Feeling more like myself, I gave Eddie a sad smile. “Of course she’s different. She lost the love of her life.” Eddie’s face fell at my words and I felt a sting of guilt. My tone was gentler as I continued. “I’ve been her friend since second grade and I know she has a strange way of dealing with things. She’s not one of those people who can push her feelings away and act like everything’s okay. She’s a very emotional person, so just let her get those emotions out in whatever way she wants.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I just wish I could make everything better for her.” Eddie had a look of defeat on his face, and feeling horrible, I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Believe me, just having you in her life is making things better for her. Give it time, Eddie. Give her time to heal. She’ll get through this; just keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”
My hand fell from Eddie’s shoulder, and we were both silent, lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Eddie hitched his backpack strap higher up on his shoulder and gave me a tight smile. “Thanks for the talk, Estella. Let me know if you can find out anything from Hadie.”
“Of course I will.”
Eddie gave me a small nod before passing me by, and I slumped against my locker, trying to process everything he’d just said.
There was so much going on in my life at the moment that I kind of felt bad for relegating Hadie to the backseat. There was really only so much I could do for her, though. She preferred to be alone, and I could understand her need to be solitary. Still, it wasn’t right for her to completely withdraw. I would have to do something about that.
Hurrying outside, I made my way to the bus stand that was just across the street. The bus that came there went all the way through town before heading to Penthill. It was a long trip, but at least it was convenient.
As I was about to cross the street, I caught sight of something that made me falter.
Vincent was here.
He had parked his bike—illegally, of course—across the street at the bus stand, and was leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest. And, he looked good. By good, I mean good.
He had on a pair of faded jeans, a white denim shirt—thankfully, the sleeves were rolled down so my eyes weren’t assaulted by his numerous tattoos—and brown leather boots. He wore a pair of Aviators and looked sexy as hell. I mean, normally he was sexy anyway, but there was something about the way his shirt hugged his upper body that made me feel like I’d skipped a step and almost fallen over.
Gah. Why was I acting like a total idiot? I was supposed to be angry at him. I was angry at him. It didn’t matter how sexy he looked; he had really hurt me the other night. Vincent Madden could take his sexiness and go right back to Penthill for all I cared.
Straightening myself up to my full height, I stalked across the street and was mentally preparing myself to walk around him and his vehicular obstruction when he straightened up and stepped onto the pavement, waiting for me.
Those full lips of his were upturned in a smirk, and I tried my hardest to keep my mind focused. I would not let myself be distracted by the sexiest lips I had ever seen. No, I would ignore him a-and um-
“Stelle.”
That single word made me stop just as my foot hit the pavement. Why did he have to use my name against me? He had such an unfair advantage over me. One day, I’d have to find something to use against him, too.
“What?” I snapped, hoping my expression was as biting as my tone.
Vincent took a step towards me, the smirk still lingering on his face. His eyes drifted over my body before settling on my face. “Let me give you a ride to Penthill.”
My eyes narrowed at his words. “How the heck do you know where I’m going? Are you having one of your gang buddies secretly tail me and monitor my movements?”
His lips twitched in the slightest. “I know the heck because exactly three weeks ago I met you for the first time on a Monday night leaving the Penthill community center.”
“Oh.” My face heated up, and I stared at a crack in the pavement as embarrassment washed over me. I felt like a total idiot. Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
“Yeah, oh.” His tone was smug and it made me want to pummel him with my backpack. “C’mon, let me give you a ride. It’ll be a helluva lot faster than the bus.”
When I looked up, I found him scrutinizing me, his head tilted to the side. He cleared his throat and quickly glanced away, looking uncomfortable.
Sighing, I weaved my fingers through my hair, trying to find the best way to deal with Vincent. I didn’t really understand why he was offering me a ride to Penthill after our blow out on Friday night. Had he ridden all the over here just to take me to Penthill? That just seemed weird that he would go out of his way like that.
“Can I be frank, Vincent?” I fixed him with the firm look I often used when I was giving Savannah or Nathan a lecture. “I’m not sure what you’re doing here. I’m not entirely sure what your motives are, but I’ve already decided that I won’t be tutoring Dylan anymore. I’m not sure what you expect from me beyond that.”
Vincent ran a hand through his hair, his face pinching up. He let out a breath, exhaustion settling into his face. “Look, I just wanted to talk, okay? Let me give you a ride and we can talk later. I swear, I’m not gonna knock you off or anything.”
A smile crept onto my face, and I nodded. “Fine. You can give me a ride.”
Relief replaced the exhaustion on Vincent’s face, and he offered me the spare helmet. As I climbed onto the bike behind him, he reached behind him and grasped my arms, wrapping them around his waist.
When he started the engine, my heart gave a jolt, and I wasn’t sure if it came from the thrill of being on the bike or from being this close to Vincent again even after I’d decided that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
As Vincent sped off down the road, the mixed feelings I had towards him started seeping into my thoughts. Primarily, was I attracted to Vincent? I didn’t really pay attention to guys much, even though a few had asked me out before. Of course, I’d turned them down and I think eventually, other guys had taken the hint and moved onto girls who showed more interest in them.
That didn’t bother me though. I preferred to focus on my school work and taking care of my family. I mean, sure, it would be nice to have someone there for you in more-than-a-friends way, but the whole dating thing wasn’t appealing to me.
The last time I’d had a crush on a guy was when I was fifteen. It’d been at the end of freshman year, and Carter Hammond and I had been flirting for a while. I’d been pretty sure he would ask me out before summer break, and then we’d spend all summer getting close.
But all that had quickly been forgotten, because a couple of months before summer break, my dad lost his job, gambled away our savings, and my mom upped and left us without a word.
After that, my life fell apart around me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. The only thing I could do was try and hold my family together as best as I could. Savannah was about to start high school and Nathan had already started applying for colleges.
That summer, Nate couldn’t stand to live in the same house as dad, so he’d applied for a room on his college campus and moved away at the start of summer. He’d been lucky; he’d missed a lot of what had happened afterwards.
Because after Nathan had left, my life had truly become a nightmare. Dating Carter Hammond w
as the last thing on my mind when school started up in the fall. For that matter, dating anyone was the last thing on my mind.
News about my messed up family life had warded off the advances of other guys—no one wanted to deal with their girlfriend’s crazy, alcoholic father—and though guys looked at me, they never approached me with any other intentions.
But now, pressed against Vincent like this, I wasn’t sure what to think. He was the only guy in a long time who had dared to look me in the eye. Who only saw me, and didn’t see the girl who came surrounded by rumors.
I was being silly though. There was no chance for a guy like Vincent and a girl like me. We were way too different—we were from completely different worlds. Vincent wasn’t the kind of guy who settled down, and I wasn’t the kind of girl who could handle instability.
And, here I was running away with my crazy thoughts when there was no logical reason for me to be having these crazy thoughts about Vincent. It was never going to happen. I would never let it happen. And, besides, I doubted that I was even his type. He was the kind of guy who made a move when he liked a girl, and obviously there was no interest on his part.
Therefore, I should stop thinking about how firm his stomach muscles felt beneath his shirt. Yes. I. Should. Stop. Now.
Thankfully, we’d reached the outskirts of Penthill, and it only took a couple of minutes before Vincent was pulling up outside the community center. We’d gotten here pretty fast, despite Vincent’s best efforts to stick to the speed limit. I was pretty sure if I hadn’t been with him, he would’ve broken the speed limit within a minute of starting the bike.
When I hopped off the bike and took off the helmet, I was surprised to find that Vincent was also getting off and removing his own helmet.
He rested his helmet on the seat and ran a hand through his hair, trying to remove all signs of helmet hair. I preferred it when he let his hair hang loose instead of plying it with gel and smoothing it back. Either way, it highlighted his cheekbones like crazy. He had amazing cheekbones.
“So, listen.” Vincent blew out a breath, looking uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious he was having a hard time communicating or talking about his feelings. It was kind of cute, actually. “I get why you don’t wanna come back and tutor Dylan. I was a total asshole to you, and I probably said things I shouldn’t have said, but you kinda pissed me off when you said that Dil was scared of me.”
“I know and I’m-“
“It’s just that I try so fucking hard, Stelle. I try so hard to give Dil the life that me and my brothers never had growing up. But I keep screwing it up. I keep making mistakes and I can’t make it right.” Vincent paused, breathing hard. His eyes drilled into me and an electric current shot up my spine. “I know you don’t think much of me. You made that pretty clear the first night we met. But I’m telling you the truth; I’m doing every damn thing I can to make that kid’s life better.” Vincent’s voice cracked, and he buried his head in his hands, tendrils of hair falling over his face.
Without really thinking about what I was doing, I stepped forward and brushed the loose strands of hair off his face before placing a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. It was difficult for me to see his tough guy exterior crack. Obviously, Dylan’s well-being meant a lot to him.
Vincent jerked up, his eyes wide and startled as he stared at my hand and then at me, as though trying to deduce whether I’d lost my mind. I wasn’t entirely sure I hadn’t. I mean, I had just tried to console a Madden for the second time in a week!
There was something very wrong with this picture.
Heat assaulted my face at Vincent’s reaction, and I took a hasty step back, feeling like the most moronic person in the world. I was mentally slapping myself over and over again for doing such a stupid thing.
Just because Vincent was upset didn’t mean that I could console him. We weren’t friends; we barely put up with each other. And, he was a Madden. A freaking Madden! I had to remind myself of that any time I let my feelings get the better of me.
I’d let myself get carried away again. The distance between us had to stay intact. I couldn’t just go around touching him all the time because I felt bad for him.
“Uh, um, yeah.” I stammered, at a complete loss for words. Vincent was still staring at me like I was a space alien, so I had to fill the excruciatingly awkward silence somehow. “I-uh-see that you’re being genuine ab-about wanting the best for Dylan, but-“
Before I could continue, Vincent reached out and took my hands in his. And you know what happened? My heart stopped. It freaking stopped. I mean, it didn’t literally stop; I could still feel it beating rapidly in my chest, but in some weird way, it stopped.
“Please, Stelle.” Vincent’s voice was low; his eyes burned into me, and his skin was blazing against mine. “I know you couldn’t care less about me if you tried, but Dylan needs you. If you stop coming over, it’s gonna kill him in a way you don’t understand. You’re not doing this for me; you’re doing it for him. Don’t let him walk away from this thinking that his circumstances make people treat him differently.”
There was so much sincerity in Vincent’s voice that I felt my defenses beginning to crumble. He was right. Dylan depended on me. In a couple of weeks, we’d formed an attachment, and I couldn’t break his heart like that. I would hate for him to go down the same path as his brothers, knowing that I could’ve made a difference in his life.
Exhaling, I nodded, and watched as Vincent’s expression changed from desperation to relief. “You’re right; it’s not his fault he was born into this. I’ll continue to tutor him, but I have conditions.”
Vincent’s brow furrowed, and I could tell he was about to object, so I hurried on. “No swearing, no alcohol, and no drugs around Dylan. You’re trying to set a good example for him, right? Setting a good example starts with becoming a good example.”
I held my breath, watching as the muscles worked in Vincent’s jaw, expecting him to reject my offer. But when he gave a curt nod instead, I felt like I had just entered a dream state. I had just negotiated with a Madden and lived to tell the tale.
“If you think that’s gonna help him then I’ll go along with it.” Vincent brushed his fingers against my knuckle, and my heart soared. Breaking eye contact, he stepped away from me, putting distance between us. “I gotta go.”
His abruptness confused me, and I nodded, tucking my hair behind my ears in an attempt to find something to do with my hands now that Vincent had released them. “Yes, uh, I should go, too. I have to start prepping for dinner.”
“Prepping dinner?” Vincent cocked a brow.
“Yes, for the homeless.” I resignedly shoved my hands into my coat pocket to stop fidgeting. “A hot meal really gets their spirits up on a freezing night like this one.”
“Huh.” He was silent again, his eyes searching as they studied my face. Finally, he broke his gaze, and headed back to his bike. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
“Okay, sure,” I said, but I didn’t start walking to the community center, even though I knew I should. Something was tugging inside of me, curling itself around the wall I always kept in place when I was near Vincent—sympathy.
I felt sympathy for Vincent. And that notion was terrifying, that I felt sympathy for this guy who was so different from me that there weren’t enough antonyms in the world to compare us.
“Vincent.” He turned when I said his name, and I swallowed, bunching my fists inside the pocket of my coat. “I do care about you.”
I didn’t wait to see his reaction—a part of me didn’t want to know how he would react.
I simply walked away.
Chapter Fourteen
Vincent
There was a pounding in my ears as I watched Estella walk away.
I didn’t know what to think. She’d just told me she cared about me. No one had ever told me they cared about me and meant it.
Ruby had said something along those lines to me many times, but she was alway
s manipulative with her words. With Estella, it was different. It was different because she actually seemed genuine about it.
And she’d touched me again. She’d fucking touched me. I figured the girl couldn’t stand to be near me, but she’d actually touched me. And I’d touched her back. Because I’d wanted to. Because I didn’t want her thinking that I didn’t want to.
My logic was so screwed up.
Swearing under my breath, I turned to grab my helmet, and that’s when I saw him.
Conor sat on his bike, across the road, in the parking lot of The Penthill Grill. And, he was staring right at me. Even from here, I could see the smirk on his mouth as he watched me like he’d just found out an amazing secret.
My body tensed as a sick feeling filled me up. Conor was the butt boy of Troy, the leader of the Allbrook gang. Troy was always sending Conor out on little recon missions to try and dig up something on me so they could use it as an advantage against me in a fight.
It’d been three years and they’d still had no luck. Those assholes were dreaming if they thought they’d ever find a weakness in me. I’d been trained by the best; I’d been trained by Ryder, and he allowed no weaknesses. Not after what’d happened to him. Not after he’d been weakened for life. No one knew about Ryder’s weakness except me and Tyson, and we were sworn to secrecy, bound by something more powerful than what bound our gang—we were bound by blood.
Still, the smug expression on Conor’s face made my stomach sink. Why the hell did he look like he’d just seen something that’d made his day? There was nothing—
Then my heart sank into my stomach.
Fuck.
He’d seen me with Estella. There was no other explanation for it. He must’ve seen her brush aside my hair, and seen me holding her hand.
Anyone who knew me knew I didn’t do shit like that. Yeah, I kissed girls, touched girls, and screwed girls, but I never held their fucking hand. I’d taken things way too far with Estella—I’d let her in—and now that asshole, Conor, had seen us together. Even if he told Troy, I didn’t really know what they’d do with the information.
