Dana looked at Nick, who shrugged reluctant agreement.
Babs turned to Nick. “There’s a twenty-four-hour car rental place on—”
“I have a van,” Finn said.
Babs smiled. “Perfect. Can you do the deal upstate, Finn?”
Finn shrugged. “For that bird? I can do a deal from anywhere.”
“Wonderful.”
“I don’t trust him, Babs,” Nick said, then shot a look at Finn and bit out, “No offense.”
“None taken. First impressions are a bitch,” Finn said, his eyes landing coolly on Nick.
“I completely understand, Nick,” Babs said, “but I believe that everything happens for a reason. What are the chances of us having a bird thief at our disposal at the exact moment we need one? Very slim.” She cocked her head to the side and evaluated Finn with a smile. “And I have a good feeling about him.”
“Gee,” Nick said flatly, looking at Dana, “do you think he has honest eyes?”
Dana gave him her least-amused look. Babs stood up. Nick and Finn followed suit.
“The three of you should get going, then,” she said. “It’s a long drive. I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know the verdict, then I’ll come straight up and we can celebrate. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bed. It’s been a positively exhausting day.”
She kissed Nick on the cheek, hugged Dana, and waved at Finn, then disappeared into her room. Dana stared after Babs, trying to process what her mother had said.
“Dana?” Nick said. “We really should get going.”
“One minute,” Dana said, then followed after her mother, ignoring Nick as he called after her.
***
Back in her room, Babs settled on the chair before her vanity and stared at herself in the mirror.
She suspected she was getting too old for this lifestyle. It was one thing to manage the favors and listen to Nick’s stories over a bit of scotch after the fact. Being kidnapped at gunpoint, however, was a bit much for the system. When Nick first announced he’d be leaving, she’d thought she could probably handle the favors on her own. Accept jobs that didn’t require the physical ability Nick brought to the table. She was clever; she figured she could do it, with a few adjustments for age and temperament.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she wondered if she’d been realistic. Sure, she’d gotten the best of Gary and Vivian, but together they couldn’t intellectually challenge a lobotomized Great Dane. If she’d found herself facing a gun held in the hands of someone who had half a brain, what would she have done then? Could she have handled it?
She sighed. She’d been tired before, but she’d never felt old. She didn’t much care for it.
The door opened, and Dana walked into the room. Babs put on a smile and twisted in her chair to face her daughter. Based on the look on Dana’s face, the day’s challenges weren’t over just yet.
“Did you need something, darling?” Babs asked, pulling one earring off and laying it on the vanity.
“So that’s it, then?” Dana said.
“Yes, that’s it. Are you hungry? I’m starved. I’m thinking Chinese.”
Dana crossed her arms over her stomach. “You’re just going to decree that this is the way things are, no discussion?”
“We had a discussion. This is the decision.”
“Not my decision.”
“You’re right. It’s not your decision, Dana. I told you, I do this with or without you. If your concern is for my safety, then you’ll help me.”
“My concern is for your sanity,” Dana said. “I don’t like these people, they’re dangerous. You said so yourself.”
“And gunless,” Babs said. “I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you going back there.”
Babs stood up from the vanity and turned to face her daughter. “I know. I heard you. And I’m sorry if you don’t like it—”
“You’re not sorry,” Dana said. “You do what you want, and you pretend to be sorry later.”
Babs closed her eyes. It had been too long a day, and it was only getting longer. “You are planning on getting over that someday, aren’t you, Dana? What’s it been since I left your father? Thirteen years?”
Dana’s eyes flashed. “This isn’t about Dad—”
“Isn’t it? Isn’t it always about your father? You and I used to be close. We used to be friends. Now every time we’re in a room together, it’s like he’s there with us, whispering in your ear about how awful I am.”
“That’s not true. This is about today, about you putting yourself in danger and not giving a good goddamn how I feel about it.”
“Because it’s my life,” Babs said. “Mine. Just because I’m your mother does not mean I belong to you. I am a full-grown, adult person, and I make my own choices.”
“And to hell with anyone else,” Dana said, storming toward the door.
“He was a drunk when I met him,” Babs said. Dana froze, her hand on the doorknob.
Babs was silent for a moment as she debated whether or not to continue down this path, then realized there was no way back, so she kept going. “He was charming then, because he was a fun drunk. It became decidedly less charming as the years went by.”
Dana turned to face her, but said nothing.
Babs went on. “I know you know this. I know I only protected you from so much of it.” She pulled her shoulders back and straightened her stance. “You were in college, and I left, and I don’t regret it.”
“For better or worse,” Dana said. “Did that mean anything to you?”
“Your father had chosen his path a long time before that, and he wouldn’t stray from it.”
“In sickness or in health, Mom. Just words, I guess.” Babs felt her throat tighten, and fought it by raising her head up high. “If you think I didn’t love him, you’re wrong. I did. But he was killing himself, and I wasn’t going to sit there and watch him do it.”
Dana turned to face Babs. “No. You left that for me.”
“You were an adult,” Babs said. “That was your choice.”
“You took away my choice.”
“And I suppose he was completely innocent?”
Dana dropped her eyes to the floor. “I’m not stupid. I know what he was. But you just left. He loved you, and you destroyed him.”
“He destroyed himself,” Babs said. “All I did was refuse to let him take me with him and damnit, I’m done apologizing for that.”
They stared each other down for a moment. Babs was the first to look away, pulling off her other earring and dropping it on the vanity.
“So, what’s your decision, Dana?” she asked, after the silence became overbearing.
“What?” Dana said. “About the bird?”
Babs nodded. Dana shook her head and sighed, then raised her eyes to Babs’s. She looked tired, defeated, and sad.
“I’m going to take it back home and wait for your call, because it’s either that or lose my winery, and it’s not like you’ve given me any choices.”
Babs watched Dana, trying to imagine how the three-year-old who couldn’t stop laughing had grown into such an angry young woman. What had actually done it didn’t matter much, though. Babs would always feel like it was her fault, even if it wasn’t, and she would always be trying to make it up to Dana, even if she couldn’t.
And she did have to consider the possibility that Dana was only angry around her. Cold comfort, that.
“Well,” Dana said, “I guess I’d better go get my things.”
“Yes,” Babs said. “It’s getting late.”
Dana let herself out of the room, closing the door behind her with a gentle click. Babs sat down at her vanity and stared at her face in the mirror, then raised her eyes heavenward.
“Don’t worry about the winery, Frank,” she said. “I’m on it.”
A realization hit her, and she let her eyes float toward the floor.
“Hope all those ‘priest walks into a bar’ jokes are going over well down there,�
� she said, smiling sadly. “Because if they’re not, you owe me twenty bucks.”
Eighteen
The black outlines of trees sped past on either side of the highway as the Chez Animaux van made its way upstate. Nick tightened his grip on the wheel and glanced in the rearview mirror. He could see Dana’s outline in the back of the cargo van, where she and the bird had both been sacked out since they’d gotten on the road three hours earlier. He was glad she was getting some rest, but at the same time he wanted desperately to talk to her. He didn’t know what he wanted to say, exactly, but she’d hardly said two words since she’d come out of Babs’s room, and it bugged Nick not knowing if she was okay.
“She’s fine,” Finn said from the passenger seat.
Nick trained his eyes back on the highway in front of him, saying nothing.
“She seems like a nice girl,” Finn said. “What’s the story with you two, anyway?”
Nick shot him a look. “None of your business.”
“Hey, man, I’m just making conversation. We’ve got at least another hour on the road before we get where we’re going.” He paused, stared out the window. “Don’t make me resort to Twenty Questions. I hate that shit.”
“Go to sleep,” Nick said. “That should pass the time for you.”
“Turns out, I’m nocturnal,” Finn said, pulling his feet up and resting the soles of his boots against the dash in front of him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.
“You smoke?” he asked, holding the pack out to Nick.
“No,” Nick said. “And Dana quit, so don’t smoke around her anymore.”
“She quit fifteen years ago.”
“Twelve.” Nick shot Finn a sideways glance. “And how did you know, anyway?”
“We had us some girl talk out on the terrace,” Finn said, shooting a look back at her. “And she’s sleeping now, anyway.”
“What part of ‘no’ do you not understand?”
“I’m just saying, I think she’ll withstand the temptation.”
Nick shot him a cold look. Finn huffed and tucked the cigarette back in the pack.
“Whatever your problem with me is, man, you might want to think about getting over it,” Finn said. “Whether you like it or not, we’re working together on this.”
Nick glanced back at Dana again. They hit a bump in the pavement, and the bird gave a little squawk. Dana didn’t move. Nick smiled; the woman could sleep through anything.
“You really should just marry her and get it over with,” Finn said.
“What, do I need an English-to-Sparky translator? None. Of. Your. Business.”
Finn sighed. “Just making an observation, killing some time.”
Nick flicked at the dashboard. “What kind of van doesn’t have a radio?”
“All I’m saying is, she’s obviously into you, and you’re obviously into her…”
“Who the hell makes cars without radios? Ten-speeds come with radios now.”
“… and this little dance you two are doing is going to end up in the sack eventually…”
Nick shot Finn an irritated look. “Don’t you need a girl to have girl talk?”
“… and from all the googly eyes shooting around when you two are in a room together, I’m just saying give her a ring already and put the rest of us out of our misery.”
“Pushing you out of a moving van would do a helluva lot for putting me out of my misery.”
“Would you settle for me shutting up?”
“It’d help.”
“Good, cause as it turns out”—Finn reached into his pocket and withdrew his pack of smokes—“smoking keeps me quiet.”
Nick granted an insult under his breath, then gave a brief nod. “Fine. Roll the window down.”
“You’re the boss, Hoss.” Finn pulled a cigarette from the pack. “So, what’s your deal, anyway?”
Nick tightened his grip on the wheel. “I thought you were going to keep quiet.”
Finn flashed his lighter and took a drag off the cigarette. “I’ll keep quiet about the girl. But when I’m working with someone, I like to get to know him.”
“Great,” Nick said. “Here’s my deal. I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. You do anything to screw with us on this bird thing, and I’ll kill you with my bare hands. That settle your curiosity?”
Finn exhaled out the window. “Long as we understand each other.”
Nick shot a look at Finn. “So, what’s your deal?”
Finn exhaled out the window. “Me? I’m a bird thief.”
“I see.” Nick glanced at the green sign on the side of the road. It would be another sixty miles until they got to the winery. The closer they got, the tighter the tension in his neck became. It had been six years since he’d set foot on the property, but heading back felt strangely like going home.
“You really should marry that girl,” Finn said, cutting into Nick’s thoughts.
Nick rolled his shoulders to release the tension. “Already tried.”
“No shit?” Finn sounded genuinely surprised.
“No shit.”
“What happened?”
“Didn’t happen.” Nick motioned toward the dash. “Even the cheapest cars come with AM radio.”
Finn looked over his shoulder at Dana. “You should ask her again.”
Nick shot him a sideways glance. “What’s it matter to you?”
Finn blew out another puff of smoke and shrugged. “Beats Twenty Questions.”
Ask her again. Nick would have to be crazy and stupid even to consider it. It was no comfort to him that he knew he was a little of both.
Finn let out a long exhale. “So. I’m thinking of something.”
Nick sighed. “Animal, vegetable, or mineral?”
***
The rumbling of gravel under the wheels of the van shook Dana awake. She opened her eyes and pushed herself up, looking out the window. They were already on the long gravel road that curled around the edge of the vineyard, leading to her log home. She’d hoped she’d have a little more time to get used to the idea of Nick being there again after all this time, but there they were.
Already.
“What time is it?” she asked.
Finn turned around in the passenger seat and shot her a smile. “Hey, sleeping beauty. How ya feeling?”
“I smell like bird. Time?”
Finn shrugged. “I’m guessing around four in the morning.”
“Three forty-six,” Nick said, glancing at his watch. Dana tried to catch his eye in the rearview mirror, but he wasn’t looking at her. She leaned forward between the two front seats and watched as Nick pulled the van up to the house. Finn looked at her and smiled.
“I’ll get the bird,” he said.
Nick pulled the keys out of the van and tossed them at Finn, who caught them clumsily.
“I’ll get the bird. Dana, you get Finn set up for the night.” She caught his eyes in the rearview. They were smiling. “That okay by you?”
Dana smiled back and nodded. She scooted out of the back of the van and walked Finn up the steps to her porch as she felt around in her bag for her keys.
“Sleep well?” Finn asked.
“I’ll tell you when I wake up.” She unlocked the door, and Finn pushed it open and held it for her. They walked in, and Dana flicked on the lights and tossed her purse on the coffee table.
“Nice,” Finn said, touching one hand to the bare log walls. “Very rustic.”
“Rustic,” she said. “Isn’t that city-speak for creepy?”
“No,” Finn said, smiling. “I grew up in Vermont. I like the country. Just not enough to actually live in it.”
“Well, that’s a glowing endorsement if ever I heard one.” Dana pointed toward the sofa. “That’s a pull-out. I’ll go get the sheets.”
Finn nodded and started removing cushions. Dana walked down the hallway to the linen closet, only noticing the shaking in her hands as she reached for the sheets.
; Good God. She’d hoped the nap would get all the ickiness out of her system from her fight with Babs, but there it was. Not to mention that she was here with Nick, back to the home they’d shared for three years. She hadn’t been here with him since the night of the would-be wedding, when she’d walked in on him and Melanie. Seeing him in the city had been intense, but this…
This was real.
She shook out her arms and stretched from side to side, hoping to slough off some of the bad mojo that clung to her. Babs had been right about one thing—what had happened with her parents was history, and she needed to let it go. Their marriage had been their marriage, and just because she didn’t personally know anyone who’d gotten married and hadn’t ended up a shriveled mockery of the person they once were didn’t mean that she and Nick…
Oh. Wait. Nick? How did Nick hop onto the marriage thought train? They’d kissed a few times. That didn’t mean he was thinking marriage again.
Oh, God, she thought. What if he’s thinking marriage again?
She took in a deep breath and exhaled through her nose. Nick wasn’t crazy. Nick wouldn’t be thinking marriage yet. If ever, considering how horribly everything had worked out the first time.
Relax. Just let it happen as it happens. Get a rubber band, put it on your wrist, and snap it whenever you think a what if? thought.
She was trying to remember where she’d put the rubber bands when she heard the front door open, followed by a squawk from the bird and a terse exchange between Nick and Finn. She pulled some clean bedding out of the closet and headed back into the living room, where Finn had the sofa bed pulled out. Nick was standing by the front door, the cage with the sleeping bird on the floor at his feet. She started to unfold the fitted sheet when Finn reached to take it from her.
“Let me get that.” He gave her a kind smile, and she smiled back. She didn’t care that he was a bird thief or that he probably couldn’t be trusted or that Nick seemed to really, really hate him. She liked him. He was nice.
And he did have honest eyes, damnit.
She looked up at Nick while Finn worked on the sofa bed. Nick gave her an unsure smile and glanced in the direction of the master bedroom. The bedroom they used to share. Dana’s stomach took a roller-coaster tumble, and she tried to smile back, but feared she looked plastic, like one of those models who show off the cars at the mall.
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