“Nyssa, you were as good as dead. My team was barely able to heal you and since we couldn’t use magic on you, we had to be extra careful.” She reached my hand to do the whole grandmotherly support. I pulled it away and rested it in my lap, not wanting her touching me. She froze for a moment before sighing. There was no way I’d fall for her fake act ever again. “We saw some concerning damage to your body and don’t know what to make of it.”
“Probably from the fight.”
She shook her head. “They were not consistent with those type of wounds. When we were trying to, uh, close you up, your body fought it. We weren’t using magic either. Your body was reluctant, like it preferred to fall apart instead.”
For a moment, I worried she’d hear or feel the change in my heart rate. Then I remembered she was a witch. Her senses weren’t heightened. I could lie my way through this and she’d be none the wiser.
“What is going on?” she asked.
“It’s hard to say without research,” I answered slowly. “I’ve never shifted before, and we know nothing about how a phoenix life works, at least nothing outside of the books that you found, and those only talked about adults and what were witnessed that they were able to do.”
She frowned. “You think you’re going into your next phase, transitioning into what amounts to an adult?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know. I obviously look like an adult now, but how does it work for a phoenix? What are their phases of life?”
“I haven’t been able to find any information on this.”
“And I don’t have anyone I can go to for this either.”
She looked thoughtful before standing up. “I am not sure. I will have to look more into this. For now, rest up. You were out for two days. Once we got the wound closed, you slept a little and your healing kicked in. But any movements will risk opening it back up.”
“How long am I stuck like this?”
“Only for a few more hours. By sunrise, you’ll be able to move around, albeit slowly. It is healing now.”
“Okay, good. What did I miss while I was out?”
“Cecil has an idea she’s not sharing with us. I know her though, after she researches it all and understands everything, she will fill us in. I’m not worried. Having the artifact has been a huge achievement for us, but I imagine Baron is furious. According to Lady Monraya, he needs it for the curse to work. There is no getting around it.”
“So he’ll do an attack on us,” I mused.
She nodded. “Cecil is looking for a way to track him. Each community is closely watching their young ones. We won’t let him win.” Maura stood up and sent me a gentle smile. “I’ll go let the others know that you’re alive and awake. They’ve been haunting the house waiting.”
“I wasn’t out that long.”
“You need to learn that when people care, that means they will worry when you are hurt.”
“Who’s here?” I asked, a little curious.
“Cecil, of course. I think you gave her a taste of how you felt when she was hurt.” She smirked. “Slade has become a guard too. He growls at anyone who stops by.”
“That’s it?” I asked.
She nodded.
I swallowed the little stab of pain. Landus didn’t come by. He probably didn’t even care.
“Okay. Well, let the herd in,” I said with a shaky smile.
She chuckled.
As soon as the door closed, the smile slipped from my face, and I took a moment to feel all my aches. My stomach felt sore rather than painful. I should have been in agony when it had happened. I tried to wrack my brain to when it occurred, for how long I fought with my stomach nearly gutted. But I drew a blank.
I remember fighting, never stopping. Being hit and banged up, but not gutted. That disturbed me. The adrenaline rush did well in keeping the pain back, but not to that extent.
“How are you doing?” Cecil asked as she breezed into my room. Her expression was twisted with worry as she ran her hand through my hair. Slade hovered behind her with a closed off expression.
“I’m fine.”
“You were gutted. Or at least nearly,” Cecil said.
“I’m still fine. Maura even said I’ll be able to move around come morning.”
Cecil’s shoulders slumped as she sat on the bed and grabbed my hand, refusing to let me pull away from her.
Cecil glanced back at Slade and then to me. “Can I talk to you in private? I was doing some research and found some interesting things.”
She was doing that eyes widening, we need to speak thing, trying to not look rude that she wanted to kick Slade out of the room.
“Oh. Is this about me being a phoenix?” I whispered.
“Sh!” She waved her hands around. “Did you hit your head or something? You know shifters have good hearing.”
“I already know,” he finally said.
Her eyes moved between the two of us. “Oh. Okay.”
“I’m fine with him around while you talk about it. I doubt he’s going to try to sell me on the black market.”
“Okay, good. I think it’s good to have more people in your court. There aren’t any other known phoenix and I found some crazy black magic that your existence will make possible to cast. The curse Baron is trying to do is similar. That’s why he needed your blood.”
“Well, outside of the two of you and Maura, I have no intention of telling anyone else.”
“Not Landus?” Cecil asked.
I narrowed my eyes to let her know it wasn’t up for discussion. “No. He doesn’t need to know.”
Cecil pressed her lips together in disagreement and glanced at Slade.
“He isn’t going to talk me into it, so don’t bother. Now, this research. Tell me all about it.”
“I was trying to find more information about the phoenix, so we can prepare for any changes that you go through. I found some interesting information and thought I’d tell you.” She smirked.
Warily, I asked, “What?”
“I think you need to find your mate.”
I nearly choked on air. “What?”
“A phoenix’s mate provides stability for them. If you find them before you come into your full power, then they help speed up the process. Your mate will be able keep you calm. Phoenix are known to run hot, and I meant that temperamentally. They can mellow you.”
“So, a mate is like a beast tamer?” I asked.
“Sure. Anyways, we need to find you your mate. Most phoenix find them by the time they reach adulthood. I guess they have a ceremony they do to help phoenix find their mates if they don’t by the time they’re fully grown.” Her eyes skimmed me over. “And you’re definitely already an adult. Finding your mate will ease you through your first shift.” She paused.
“What?” I asked not in the mood for her being dramatic.
“The book is in our vault, buried with older books. I had to dig deep to find it and almost overlooked it too since it was so small. I’ll need to sneak it out through wards—the witches have strict rules about removing books down there—but I think for you, it’s too important that you read it.”
“Give me cliff notes at least.”
“Without a mate, the first shift is painful.”
“I’m fine with pain.”
“Aren’t you curious about them?” she asked.
“Maura found information on mates,” I admitted slowly.
“And?”
I huffed. “Finding a mate is a death sentence.” I did my best to mask my feelings and thoughts from Slade and Cecil. The two of them were intuitive and it wouldn’t take them much to make the connections I didn’t want made the most.
“You need to expand,” Cecil said. “Anything dealing with any emotions is a death sentence to you. You enjoy running far away from any type of deep emotion.”
“The journal Maura had found and translated was about a phoenix a man had met. He was dying because of the death of his mate. If I find a mate, then if some
thing happens, if they die or leave me or anything, it’ll kill me.”
“Nyssa, you remember the time I told you you need to put yourself out there. That not everything is going to have a bad ending? This is exactly what I meant. You’re using a ‘What if’ as an excuse not to do something. That isn’t right. You can’t end something before it even begins.”
“I’d have to be crazy to willingly put myself into a vulnerable position like that.”
“Seriously? Why are you so against love?” Her anger spiked. I tried to take it seriously, I really did, but Cecil angry was adorable. And I desperately wanted to get her away from this topic. It was too much and no one needed to know that I was broken now before I even had a chance.
I quirked my lip up into a half smile.
She pointed at me, her expression hardening. “No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to play this off, turning it into a joke. I’m serious. A phoenix without finding their mate goes crazy. They’re too powerful and need the help that they can get from a lover. A mate is balance and stability. I know you, Nyssa. You’re not stable right now and you don’t handle change well. A mate can help you through it.”
“Fine!” I snapped and narrowed my eyes. “Let’s run off to the store right fucking now and find one, since it’s so easy.” Even though it was that easy for me. “Let’s just kidnap some poor soul off the streets and tell him he needs to play babysitter for the rest of his life.”
“You know it isn’t like that,” Cecil said.
“You make it sound like it. You say I need to find my mate, but how? Who?”
“What about Landus?” she asked, looking vulnerable.
“What about him?”
“You like him.”
“Liked. What we had was fun, but the moment you guys wanted the council, I had to end it.” There was no hiding the bitterness in my voice. “Impartiality, remember? There is no Landus and I. He wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s not true.”
“True enough, and I said it already, so do not make me fucking repeat myself. It’s not happening.”
“Cecil,” Slade spoke up. “Back off. You know now isn’t the time.”
She turned on him. “But it is! You noticed it too. The claws, her energy levels, her ability to create wind. She’s getting stronger. Eventually, she will shift. She needs someone there to ground her.” She blinked furiously. “I will not lose her because she refused to open her damn heart.” The panic slipped into her voice as she went off on Slade.
“Maybe so, but you’re asking her to put herself into a vulnerable position. I get where she’s coming from. Love can be debilitating and from the sound of it, if things go to shit, it isn’t a simple heartbreak she’ll be facing. She won’t be able to lock herself in her room, binge watching a show while drowning herself with ice cream. She doesn’t get to get over it by crying it out. She’ll die.”
Cecil’s eyes went back and forth between Slade and me. She let out a witchy growl, because there was definitely nothing predatory about her, got to her feet, and stomped out of the room.
“Thank you,” I said.
“I still think you’re an idiot, but I understand where your fear comes from. Is it true?” he asked. “If you met your mate, bonded with him, and then something happened to him, would he die?”
“That’s what the translation hinted at,” I said.
“Any chance it’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Especially when I could feel my death creeping up on me.
He nodded. “After Baron is dead, we’ll focus on this. Cecil is right. You’ll need any help you can get. I think it’s important to be ready for anything, especially when it comes to your mate. You wouldn’t want to bond to them before you even knew what was going on.”
My throat closed at his words. It was already way too late but I couldn’t tell him that.
Slade tried to smile, it coming off as forceful. “Get some rest. Once night falls, everyone is meeting and we’re going to come up with a plan of attack. Cecil has a few ideas. We need to end this.”
He disappeared out the door and left me to my own loud thoughts. Something was happening to me and it left me fumbling about like an idiot.
Chapter Seventeen
I remember a sound so primal, so ferocious, that it sent all the wildlife into a panic. They took flight into the sky and ran as fast as they could scurry away. I remember an older man, similar to my own features laughing as he turned to me, fire in his eyes. He told me things, things I’d be able to do in the future, things that excited me. I’d be something to fear. A force no one would be brave enough to face.
—Nyssa’s Journey
By the time the sun went down, I was back to the top of my game, ready to take on the world and make them regret hurting me. Cecil hadn’t said anything to me and I wasn’t ready to apologize, so we were doing a weird dance around each other. She pretended to not care when she obviously did and I pretended that I hadn’t threatened her.
Everyone in the council was there in the witches’ backyard, plus extra. Once again Sarina was around and I watched as she comforted Cecil. Cecil looked like she needed it and welcomed it from Sarina.
“I worry about her,” Maura said, coming to my side.
“Cecil? Why?”
“A relationship with a human servant does not do well. Especially a human servant who comes from a powerful vampire. They are cunning and there is no telling what they’re true goal is.”
I blinked in surprise and glanced at her. “You think Sarina is luring her in?”
“I would not be surprised. I tried telling Cecil, but she laughed and shrugged it off. She is still so young in experience that she cannot see past the lust that consumes her.”
Mulling that over, I watched the two interact. I believed Maura. They were my same concerns, it was why, although I was attracted to Mr. Sharo, I refused to do anything about it because he belonged to a vampire. What made it worse was that I didn’t know which vampire he belonged to. Sleep with a human servant or a vampire, and they tended to think you belonged to them. I wasn’t even sure a quick fuck would be enough to stop that mindset.
And I didn’t see how Sarina and Cecil could be anything but a quick fuck. Sarina was the human servant to a very powerful vampire that went from city to city. That was a lot of traveling. How would that work with their relationship if they were to try to have one?
“I won’t let them touch her,” I said.
Maura’s smile was kind. “I believe you.”
“Time to start,” Landus said and all conversation came to a stop.
See. They listened to him. They didn’t need me to run these things.
Still, no one said anything and I realized it was because they were waiting for me. Damn. I had hoped Landus was going to pull off an Alpha Prime move and take over.
Resigning myself to leading the meeting, I said, “We had success in retrieving the artifact that Baron would need to set off the curse. He’ll have to attack us head on if he wishes to get it. He also needs children, the other ingredients. Many of you have already been moving your children, which is great. Keep an eye on every single one of them. Now, I’m turning this over to Cecil.”
I stepped back, proud of myself for making it short and sweet.
“So, I’ve been thinking, we need a way to track Baron. The man is powerful in both magic and energy use, which should be impossible. I’ve been looking at old spells we could use to track him and I think I found some strong possibilities. I’ll need the help of the mages to cast them, and if all goes well, we’ll be able to hunt down his particular signature. There is no one else around capable of wielding energy and magic like he does. I want to zone in on that.”
Mage Thomas spoke up. “How would he be tracked if this spell worked?”
“It’ll be through amulets. We’ll be able to make five of them, so each faction will have one person wearing it. When he goes to use his brand of gifts,
we’ll know.”
“So kind of like tracking a cell phone?” Aaron asked. I had no idea what he meant with the cellphone, but Cecil seemed to understand as she nodded.
“Exactly.”
“I’m in. This could be fun.” He flashed his boyish grin.
“Or we could be running around with no idea what we’re doing,” Mage Thomas mumbled.
I raised an eyebrow, surprised with his snark, and then realized he was like that because Cecil was the one to think of a solution while he didn’t do shit. More drama. I ignored it and thankfully, so did everyone else.
“What will we need?” Aaron asked, too excited to do new magic than to care that the witches were better than them.
She said something, but my ears popped and I didn’t hear them. A humming noise surrounded me. Mouths moved as others spoke, and I couldn’t make out a single word.
Then it felt like I was punched.
I gasped, falling to my knees.
“Nyssa!”
I heard that. It was a deep bellow, one that came from the full usage of their lungs. I opened my mouth to respond and only moaned. It was all snapping into place too fast, each one a dig into my soul as it happened.
“Gates,” I managed to gasp out before another onslaught of pain stabbed at me. So many. More than I had to deal with before. Their connections filled me up and I wanted to scream as it overwhelmed me. They all felt the same too. Angry, vengeful, on a warpath.
“How?” someone asked.
I breathed through the pain, trying to focus. Someone was touching me, rubbing my back. I pushed into their touch, using it as a way to ground me. My eyes were twisted shut. “So many gates. He’s making too many.”
“He’s drawing on the energy from the gates,” Cecil said, fear in her voice.
I managed to open my eyes, blinking against the harsh backyard lights attacking my retinas. “So many gates,” I whispered.
“You don’t think he’s trying to do the curse without the artifact do you?” someone asked.
“He’d need children. All ours are safe.”
“All of them?” Aaron asked.
Transformation (From the Embers Book 2) Page 15
