“You have no clue how gorgeous you are, inside and out, and I feel like I need to encase you in bubble wrap and keep all the bad shit away from you... or better yet, lock you away somewhere so you can’t leave me.”
“Oh, ’cause that’s not creepy.”
“Let me be clear.” He grimaced. “If you want to leave me, obviously, you are free to leave me. But I really hope you don’t, because now that I know you, I don’t think I can live without you.”
“Um, Ryder, that’s also a little creepy, considering one of the biggest things abused women have said to us when they’ve sought shelter is that they stayed because their husbands threatened to kill themselves if they left.”
“Rest assured, I’d never kill myself, Sadie. I just mean that I like you in my life. You make it better and now that you’re here, I don’t want to lose you.”
Wow.
That was unbelievably... sweet.
“Ryder.”
His mouth covered mine and I gripped his leather jacket as I fell against him. He broke the kiss, sliding his mouth to my forehead and kissing it gently. “Be patient with me, baby, yeah? Jealousy’s new for me.”
“I can be patient until the cows come home, but you need to get a handle on some of this, Ryder. I would never cheat on you; it’s not in me to do that.” I stared up at him. “Are you projecting?”
“Meaning?”
“Are you worried that I’ll cheat, or that you will?”
“I won’t ever cheat on you, Sadie. If it ever got that bad, we’d be over, but I’d still never cheat.”
“It’s the same for me.” I smiled. “So how about you just chill out?”
He chuckled. “Chill out?”
“Yep. Take a big ol’ chill pill.”
“Never heard a nun put it quite like that before.”
“Not a nun anymore, honey.”
“You’ve still got a little nun in you, Sadie. It’s something I like about you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Definitely.” He kissed my nose, then took my hand again and led me back to his bike.
Well, he kind of dragged me back to his bike. Either he didn’t notice, or he ignored the fact that my entire body shook. Opening one of the side thingies attached to the back of the bike, he pulled out a leather jacket, much smaller than the one he wore, and another helmet. “This is Scottie’s, but she’s about your size, so it should fit.”
“It’s so hot, Ryder. I don’t know if I can stand a leather jacket.”
“I get it, but it’s safer than what you’re wearin’, so you’re wearin’ it.”
I swallowed as I reluctantly nodded.
He slid my purse from my shoulder and set it where the jacket had been before, then closed and locked the side thing while I pulled on the jacket. The helmet came next and by the time I was fully covered, I was sweating like a pig.
“Ready?”
I shook my head.
“You’re gonna do great, baby. Just slide close to me and lean when I lean, yeah?”
I shook my head again.
“If you need to stop, tap my chest, okay?”
I reached out and tapped his chest, unprepared for Ryder’s laugh. It was deep, and it was belly. “Warn me when you’re gonna be funny, baby.”
“Warn me when you’re going to make me get on a bike,” I retorted.
“I promise, you’re gonna do great.” He climbed on then helped me slide on behind him. Guiding my hands around his waist, he reached back and slid my butt forward. The touch excited me as I pressed even closer to him. He pushed the kickstand up, started the bike, then backed it out before taking off to wherever we were going.
I couldn’t help a squeak of fright as we lurched forward.
“Hold tight!” he yelled back to me, and I did as he ordered... gladly.
Sadie
BY THE TIME Ryder pulled up a long driveway that led to a surprisingly large home overlooking downtown Portland, I had no idea where we were or how we’d gotten there. I’d kept my eyes closed the entire time... you know, due to the terror of being on a fatal crash magnet. He inched into the garage which opened as we approached, and shut off the bike. I didn’t let go.
He pulled off his helmet and looped it over one of the handlebars. “You can let go now, baby.”
“Nope. I’m good.”
He slid his hands to mine and pried them from his waist. “I’ve got you. Throw your leg over and I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”
“I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can.”
“My whole body is made of jelly.”
He chuckled, gripping my thighs. “Take your helmet off, Sade. We’ll start small.”
“Don’t let go.”
“I won’t.”
I leaned harder against him, my front to his back, and pried the helmet off my head, handing it to him so he could loop it over the other handlebar. I internally shuddered at what my hair must look like right about now, but my hands were shaking so hard I doubted I could fix it if I wanted to. Didn’t matter. If my hair was a mess, it was Ryder’s fault, so he’d just have to deal with it.
“Put your hands on my shoulders and stand up on the pegs, then throw your leg over, okay?”
I nodded and followed his instructions as he wrapped an arm around my waist to make sure I didn’t fall. My feet made it to the concrete floor without incident, but I kept an iron grip on his bicep as he climbed off the bike.
After helping me with my jacket and removing his, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “You okay?”
“No. I never want to get on that death machine again. You’re obviously a great rider, but it scares the dickens out of me.”
He chuckled. “Okay, baby, I’ll drive you home in the Bimmer later.”
“Don’t you mean Beemer?”
“If I had a BMW motorcycle, then, yes, it would be Beemer,” he informed me.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he said.
“Are you a car nerd?”
“Reese is,” he admitted. “I gotta say, you’re adorable with helmet head, baby.”
My hands flew to my hair with a groan. “Show me the bathroom and a brush, please.”
He grinned and led me through a door and into the house, hitting the garage door button on the way.
“Oh, my purse,” I said.
“I’ll get it. Bathroom’s first door on the right down the hall,” he said, pointing toward the back of the house. “Make yourself at home.”
I nodded and headed that way, finding a brush in the first drawer. After fixing what I could of my hair, I took a minute to look around. The bathroom was small, but looked recently updated. Bead-board decorated light-blue walls, except the one with the tile shower/tub combo. The room was big enough to accommodate double sinks. The counter had a unique blue and gray granite top, and the toilet looked new... if it wasn’t, Ryder was really good at keeping it clean.
I washed my hands and then headed back the way I came, distracted by the huge picture window overlooking the city.
“Purse is on the counter,” Ryder called.
“Thanks,” I said distractedly. I couldn’t help myself from stopping and staring.
“What do you think?” Ryder asked, slipping a hand around my waist.
“It’s incredible.” I leaned into him. “How long have you lived here?”
“I bought the place about six years ago and gutted it, so been fully in for two years.”
“Did you do it yourself?”
“Some of it. Friends helped.”
I faced him, running my hands up his chest and looping them behind his neck. “Nice friends.”
“Yeah, they’re more like brothers.”
“Any word on your sister?”
He shook his head.
I stroked his neck. “I’m sorry, Ryder.”
“We’re close. I can feel it.”
“Are you going to fill me in?”
H
e sighed, dropping his forehead to mine. “You sure you want me to?”
“I want to know everything about you. Good and bad. I can handle it.”
“I need a beer for this.”
I cupped his cheek. “Kiss first.”
Ryder leaned down and kissed me, holding me for several precious seconds.
“You hungry?” he asked after breaking the kiss.
“I just ate several baby chickens and half a pig, I’m good for a little while.”
He chuckled and led me into the kitchen. Natural hickory cabinets framed a huge kitchen with more granite covering countertops galore and a massive island that seated six. The island had a sink and dishwasher, but I noticed there was another sink by the window. A commercial stainless-steel stove with six gas burners sat proudly against one wall, with double ovens built in next to it. The fridge looked like it could not only power the space shuttle, but also hold enough food to feed a football team.
“Wow. Is there anything in this house that doesn’t look like a showroom?” I asked.
“I like to cook, what can I say?”
I settled myself at the island and hummed in agreement. “Mmm, I like to cook too, and I’d give my left arm to cook in a place like this.”
“You’ve got carte blanche, baby. I’ll give you a key and the alarm code so anytime you want to surprise me, you can.”
I grinned. “I’ll check bus schedules.”
He shook his head. “You’ll cab it or call Reese.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really.”
“The bus is safe, Ryder.”
“Sure. At commute time and during the day, but I don’t like the idea of you riding it when it’s virtually empty or dark outside. So, you cab it or you call Reese.”
I waved a finger toward him. “This kind of bossy I can handle, FYI.”
Ryder grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. “Good to know.”
After retrieving himself a beer (and me a soda), he led me back into the great room and pulled me onto the sofa. I shifted and wrapped an arm around his waist, snuggling into him.
Ryder took a swig of his beer and settled it on his thigh, hugging me tighter with his free arm. “Scottie and me are tight. Well, we were, before.” He took a deep breath, pausing for a moment. I stayed as still as I could to give him a little space to think. “Scarlett’s always been sensitive and a little strong-willed, and she butted heads with Mom, but she had Dad wrapped around her finger. Well, she thought she did. Only, Dad’s not a person to be manipulated, so even though she thought she could, she found out the hard way just what kind of man he is. She’s almost ten years younger than me, and I got the hell out at seventeen, which meant Scottie was left behind.” He let out a quiet breath. “Eight years old and she had to navigate that shit alone.”
I kissed his chest, still saying nothing.
“Dad’s an officer in a pretty nasty MC.”
“MC?” I asked.
“Motorcycle Club. They’re one-percenters, which means they believe they’re above the law.”
“Oh, like Sons of Anarchy.”
“Not a television show, though, baby. Real people killing other people and selling girls to perverts for profit.”
I gasped, sitting up with a frown. “Your dad sold girls?”
“The Club did... does. Originally, the sperm donor—my father—was the cleanup guy... he’d burn everything to the ground and leave no evidence,” Ryder said. “It’s why they call him Char.”
“How did you end up in a Catholic school?”
“My mother’s hail Mary pass at an attempt to reform me. I was in for middle school, but then it was back to normal school for high school. Probably because they kicked me out.”
“Why did they kick you out?”
“Some rich douche said I was cheatin’. I wasn’t, but he kept accusin’ me, so he and I had a conversation after school.”
“Uh-oh.”
“I think he saw my point of view lookin’ up at me from the ground with a bloody lip.”
I shook my head. “Ryder.”
“I was young, baby, and since I was the kid of a biker, they wouldn’t even listen to my side of the story, so they kicked me out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Between you and me, I hated it. Probably because none of the nuns looked like you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I can’t imagine you as a student. You would have been trouble.”
He grinned. “Only if you were lucky.”
“So what happened with Char?”
“When he decided he didn’t want to kill without purpose anymore, he ran drugs and prostitutes, but then some of his cronies mentioned Scottie, and Dad decided to go a different way.”
I forced back bile. “He sold your sister?”
He scowled. “Not right away, you know, ’cause he’s ‘not a monster.’ He was gonna give her a ‘choice.’” He used air quotes to stress what his father said. “But yeah, he was gettin’ ready to make a deal when Scottie ran. She didn’t make the right choice, apparently. How she got loose from Char is still somewhat of a miracle, but she ran straight to me, and it’s been the two of us against the world for the last five years or so.”
“How old is she?”
“She just turned nineteen.”
I couldn’t believe it. “He was going to sell her at fourteen years old? I think that’s the absolute definition of a monster.”
With a nod, he tugged me back onto his chest, kissing my temple. “She had some pretty nasty people after her after she ran, but we took care of it.”
“We?”
“Reese and a couple other guys you’ll meet eventually.”
“Do I want to know how you took care of it?”
“Probably not.”
I’d give him that, because I wasn’t ready to know, but also because I don’t think he was ready to tell me. “So are they the ones that took her this time? The motorcycle gang?”
“No,” he said. “She went off the rails about a year or so ago... met some douchebag who made her feel special, started doing drugs, and we fought constantly. I didn’t handle it right. This is on me.”
“What do you mean, you didn’t handle it right?”
“Had an altercation with the douchebag, said douchebag resisted,” he said with a sigh. “Landed him in the hospital for the night.”
I gasped. “Seriously?”
“Baby sister, Sadie. I protect mine.”
“And how did that go?” I challenged.
“Didn’t quite land the result I was looking for,” he admitted.
“What result were you looking for?”
He stiffened, but I gave him a gentle squeeze and he relaxed. “I’d hoped she’d see him for what he was and calm the hell down for a while. She didn’t. Well, I thought she did, because she played me for a few months, but they took off again about a month ago. Scottie’s got this sweetheart of a best friend, Taylor. She’s really into church, good family, and they were tight. Scottie was doin’ great, but something happened, and Taylor’s parents said she couldn’t hang out with Scottie anymore. Broke my sister’s heart, but it also sent her straight back to the douchebag. What neither of us knew was he wasn’t just a douchebag, he was a guy willing to sell her to pay off his drug debt and get a bump to boot.”
“So, she fell for a guy just like your dad.”
“Yeah. Despite everything I did for her.”
I sat up and turned his head to face me. “Maybe we don’t start with that when you find her.”
“Maybe not.” He grimaced. “I had her back for two months. Right after I met you, Cam found her. I got her home, but now she’s gone again. I screwed up, Sadie. Big time.”
I smiled gently, running my thumb over his beard. “Then we’ll fix it when we find her, okay?”
“Yeah.”
I settled back against his chest. “Where are your parents now?”
“Mom’s living her life at the bottom of some bot
tle. I don’t see her if I can avoid it. Dad’s doing twenty to life in Portland.”
“Wow, that close?”
“Yeah. It’s a pain in the ass, ’cause he still has reach.”
“Reach?”
“His club’s out of Gresham, so they’re close enough to drive by the bar, drop in, check things out.”
I craned my head to meet his eyes. “And do they?”
“Yep. Not often. Every couple months. You know, enough to piss me off. We just keep our heads down and so long as they don’t start shit, they move on without incident. He doesn’t know where I live, so Scottie and I are safe here, but my business holdings aren’t private.”
“Does your dad know about Scottie being missing?”
“No clue. It’s possible, I guess. Club’s got people on the payroll everywhere, but Cameron’s on my payroll and his contacts aren’t dirty, so I trust Dad wouldn’t know through them.”
“Wow, Ryder, I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this.”
“Thanks, baby.”
“What can I do?”
“You’re doin’ it. You give me peace... well, until I have to sleep alone.”
I smiled up at him. “Sorry.”
He leaned forward and kissed me quickly. “It’s okay. Just like having you close.”
“Ditto.”
Without letting me go, he set his beer aside and slid his phone from his pocket. “Ryder. Hey, Cam. Yeah? Shit, seriously? Ah, yeah, I’ll call Reese. Tonight? Yep. Okay. Meet you there.” He hung up and disengaged from me. “Cam found Scottie.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
Ryder nodded as he stood. “We’re on the red-eye to Savannah, so I have some shit to do before I have to go.”
“Right. Okay.” I rose to my feet. “Can I do anything?”
“No.” He walked toward the kitchen and I followed. “I’ll have Reese swing by and check on you, but I need you home and safe for the moment.”
My heart raced. “You don’t think I’m safe?”
“That’s not what I meant, sorry.” Ryder faced me and pulled me close. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just mean that if you’re at your place, I know where you are.”
“Oh, okay.” I smiled. “I hadn’t planned on going anywhere except the grocery store tomorrow, so you’re good.”
“Reese’ll drive you.”
Ryder (Sinners and Saints, #1) Page 9
