Ani gave Monica a sympathetic, short hug. There weren’t really any words that could help.
Monica finally went on, “I could barely see him. He didn’t respond to me at all. By the time I checked—I think he was unconscious from the blood loss, and hypothermia was going to set in. I didn’t have a choice, not with the fog. Did I?”
Kenbrink’s lead grad assistant was shaking his head. He was clearly holding back tears, but Ani felt under no obligation to do so. She let tears fall while they set about the grim work of using chisels and picks to free the stiff body. The blood on the ice stuck to their boots like powder, but it was preferable to fixate on that than look at the blue-veined skin on Kenbrink’s hands, arms and face.
She did her part in helping to transfer the body to the sled. Frozen in an awkward position, they had to move body and kit at the same time, since the kit was trapped under an arm that would only move if they broke it.
Monica borrowed Ani’s radio to let the helicopter rescue know they were on their way to Kilkat Plateau with their unfortunate cargo. They were a chilled and dispirited honor guard when the helicopter arrived to take Kenbrink and one student back to Fairbanks. It had been a difficult decision, but the remaining Kenbrink students had voted to continue the survey, feeling that their leader would have wanted them to. Professor Tyndell also opted to finish their own work—Ani had understood that. The measurements couldn’t be any later in the year or they wouldn’t be comparable and they’d already been delayed too long. There was not just a lot of money at stake, but a hope of changing the way science evaluated the global warming crisis.
They finally broke camp after three more days and headed toward home, every mile feeling longer to Ani than the last. Monica was distraught and withdrawn and had woken twice at night with a muted cry plainly audible through the thin tents. Ani felt so helpless. There didn’t seem to be anything she could do or say to help Professor Tyndell, so she did her job the best she could, earning distracted praise.
The closer they got to GlacierPort the more ominous their arrival seemed. Their tails and heads down, even the dogs seemed to have picked up on the mood.
They clomped up the final approach to the GlacierPort access to find a small, subdued crowd waiting for them. Ani had immediately spotted Eve. Like everyone else she made a beeline for her nearest and dearest. Eve helped her out of the pack, then seized her in a fierce protective hug.
“Am I a bad person,” she asked, “because the first thing I thought was thank the Lord it wasn’t you?”
Ani hiccupped into Eve’s hair, and kept her back to the rest of the crowd. She hadn’t cried since they’d found the body, but now she could, and Eve just kept holding her, strong and tight.
Her next clear awareness was that she was in Eve’s van, with Tonk’s muzzle on her shoulder. He whimpered slightly and she put a hand back to pat him. At home, on autopilot, she let Eve draw a steaming bath. She wasn’t aware of time passing as she soaked, but got out when Eve said so. The bed seemed to rush up at her.
The next morning she stirred, her thoughts unfolding. Soft mattress, a pillow, clean linens printed with lilacs, warmth, room to move, Eve…Eve next to her. She burrowed into the yielding shoulder as the memories of the expedition came back, bit by bit, including the gash of red and the ugliness of blue and white that had mottled Kenbrink’s frozen skin. “A death on the ice is not pretty,” her father had told her. He had understated it.
The angle of the bright sunlight through Eve’s blinds said it was probably six a.m. Ani paused to breathe in the natural blues and greens that made Eve’s bedroom so restful. Moving quietly, she slipped out of bed, found her robe, visited the bathroom, then headed for the kitchen. If she knew Eve, there had been a welcome home dinner, but she’d slept right through it.
She was rummaging in the icebox when she felt a gentle touch at her back.
“Let me.” Eve eased her out of the way. “I’ll reheat it.”
Ani made herself useful by boiling water for tea. Her dorm room hot plate took forever to heat water, so it was always nice to wake up at Eve’s.
This wasn’t how she had planned to arrive home from her first academically sanctioned ice expedition. She’d spent the whole trip out thinking how she would ask Eve if they could move in together. She only spent half her nights at the dorm as it was. Her paid internship work, plus grant projects, would help pay for her keep. Next year she would be a paid teaching assistant. Professor Tyndell thought she had a good shot at faculty down the road. She and Eve could have a nice life.
Since the accident she hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything. Getting back to Eve had been all that mattered.
Her stomach growled and she sniffed appreciatively. She said over her shoulder, “You didn’t.”
Eve, adorable in mussed hair and her thick red robe, preened as she opened the microwave door. “I did.”
“You know that I love you, don’t you?”
“Of course you do. You and Tonk are ruled by your stomachs.” Eve gave her a loving grin.
Ani settled happily at the table, contemplating the bubbling crock. How romantic, she thought—a reprise of the first time Eve had cooked for her. “Just the way I like it.”
She fished a hunk of what turned out to be steak from under the mashed potatoes. Pure heaven. It felt easier to breathe after a few more bites. Best not to think about Kenbrink, who wouldn’t have any more great meals, or her father, who she wished could have had some of Eve’s shepherd’s pie. He’d have liked Eve. She pushed away the useless flash of anger that he hadn’t been able to quit smoking. He’d still be alive and they’d have met. Eve would have liked him, too.
Ani was abruptly not hungry anymore. “I’ll have the rest later.”
“It’s okay.”
Eve’s touch on the back of Ani’s hand sent a familiar, welcome thrill through her. Death had taken its fee, she told herself, but life has to go on or death gets more than it ought. Her father had told her that when her mother had died. She wanted to pull Eve back into bed and immerse herself in life. But first, she thought, first, I’ll do what I had planned.
She was just turning to get down on one knee when the phone rang.
Eve’s eyebrows rose in alarm. “It’s so early,” she said as she went to answer. After briefly listening, she said into the mouthpiece, “She’s right here.”
Ani was surprised to hear Monica’s voice. “I’m sorry, Ani, about the hour. It took me a while to realize you were probably at your girlfriend’s. You need to come back. There’s a question about what happened, and you just need to make a statement. Then I can go home, finally.”
“Of course, right away. I’m sorry. I thought it was okay to leave.” She met Eve’s worried gaze after she hung up.
“Is there some kind of problem?”
“It sounds like there’s an official inquiry. I shouldn’t have left, I guess.” She hurried to the bedroom and found clean jeans and a hockey jersey. On the way out the door she pulled Eve close for a loving, promising kiss. “When I get back…”
“You better believe it, sailor.” Eve laughed up at her, eyes like morning sky.
Professor Tyndell looked as if she hadn’t slept, which was probably accurate. Her bright hair, usually swept forward in a chic jaw-length bob, was still pulled back under a watch cap that framed the best looking face in the geology field, even under these conditions.
“It’s Kenbrink’s notes,” she said without much preamble. “They’re gone. They weren’t with his…body. They weren’t in his kit.”
“Gone?” Ani stood awkwardly in the middle of the professor’s office. The framed needlepoint of epoch stratifications was askew on the wall again, threatening to fall onto the display case of rock and shale and several spectacular cut geodes. The credenza behind the professor’s desk was two-feet deep with papers and books. Opposing corners held notes from two different research projects. The two side chairs each represented her incoming papers and mail. Ani would s
omeday like to have an office this fascinating. “Did they look through everything?”
Behind her a voice said, “Yes, we did.”
Turning, Ani recognized the Dean of the School of Environmental Science. They’d been scheduled to meet twice, but something had come up both times and he’d cancelled. “Did they get left at the accident site?”
His tone brusque, Dean Malmoat said, “His kit was with him, so they’d only be there if they fell out, but several people swear categorically they looked closely at the site after the body was moved. Where’s your pack?”
“I didn’t bring it.” Ani turned back to Monica. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to.”
Monica blinked. “I thought I asked you to.”
“No—”
“All my fault,” Monica said hurriedly. “Maybe someone can go get it.”
“I can go get it.” Ani was puzzled, and starting to get alarmed. “Am I in some kind of trouble?”
Dean Malmoat gave no sign of reassurance. “You’re the only person who left without checking in. Your pack hasn’t been searched.”
“I was exhausted. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear anything that said we couldn’t leave.”
“I thought—” Monica subsided, looking nervous and pained.
“Someone can go get my backpack. It’s at my friend’s in North Pole. I don’t remember seeing anything on the ground, either. His kit was there, trapped under his arm, which was…” Ani paused to swallow. “Frozen stiff. And still under his arm when they put him on the copter. Nobody wanted to yank it off, I mean, what did it matter?”
“The notes weren’t in the kit when it was removed.” The dean’s expression didn’t lighten. “And they weren’t left behind. So they came back with someone.”
“Everybody else was searched before they left here. You were gone so quickly…” Professor Tyndell met Ani’s gaze for no more than the briefest of glances.
“Unless my friend has brought it in, my pack’s still in the back of her van. I took a bath and went to sleep. My clothes are all still there. My outergear I think is still in her van, too. I’m not sure.”
The dean left with Eve’s address in hand, and Ani said to Monica, “Do they really think I did it? Why would I do that? I can’t publish them. Everyone would know.”
Her voice a little shaky, Monica said, “Conventional wisdom is that if the notes are gone there’s no competition for the methane study grant.”
Ani frowned, then followed the train of thought. “So I did it to scuttle their chances.”
“And…”
“What?”
“Well, to curry favor with me.”
Ani knew she sounded defensive, but she couldn’t help herself. “I know this is egotistical, but I’ll have no trouble with the dissertation when the time comes. You know that.”
“It’s not about your degree. It’s about us.”
Ani blinked. “Huh?”
“Yeah. Well, we’re both queer and queers stick together
and/or you have a crush on me and want me to be more than your prof. Take your pick.” She collapsed into her desk chair, fingertips massaging her temples.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t take them. Should I tell the dean about Eve? I mean, we’ve been together a year. I’m not in…there’s no crush, you know.” Well, if there was, it was a small one, Ani thought. Maybe before Eve it might have been bigger. But there was only one woman who could make her blush with shyness and lust with ferocity all in the same moment.
Monica looked up. “I know that. No one will want to believe it. I’ve pissed off plenty of people in my day.”
So it’s about her, and people thinking she’s an uppity dyke, and they can’t get her on her science, so they use this instead. “Well, how do they know one of Kenbrink’s people didn’t toss them away on the way up to the plateau?”
With a rueful smile, Monica said, “Do you think any of them could actually destroy those notes?”
“No, but someone did it. Why not one of them?”
“It was their entire survey results, and they can’t do it again this year—we’re out of days for comparison. If they had them, Kenbrink’s assistant back at Toronto would be able to work with what they had. No, they have no reason to do this.”
Ani moved toward the door. “I guess I better call Eve.”
“Why don’t you do it from here? You probably shouldn’t leave. I mean, I’ll be able to say you didn’t.”
Her misgivings rising, Ani told Eve that there was someone coming to get her stuff.
“Is there some kind of problem?” Eve sounded as if she’d gone back to bed. Ani wished she were there, soaking up all that soft warmth.
“Just a misunderstanding. Leave everything where it is.”
“Okay. You sound funny.”
“Sorry.” Ani was acutely aware of Monica, who was trying to look as if she couldn’t hear every word.
“Is someone there?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Call when you can?”
She assured Eve that she would and hung up the phone, feeling dazed.
Monica gave her a worried smile. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. She’s as confused as I am.”
“Well, I’m sure this will all work out. I’m so tired. I never thought I wouldn’t be able to go home right away.”
Ani realized she had no idea if Monica lived with someone. She was openly lesbian, sometimes a flirt at parties, but still very private. “I was really glad to take a bath. Then I slept until like six or so. Eve had made me a scrumptious dinner, so I had it for breakfast.”
“She’s a good cook, isn’t she?”
“A fabulous one.”
“She should have a restaurant or something.”
Ani nodded. “It’s a dream.”
There was an awkward silence and Monica abruptly said, “Let me clear that chair off so you can sit. I didn’t do it for the dean because—don’t tell—I didn’t want him to hang out.” She started the process of moving piles of papers and journals off one of the side chairs that flanked a small table. Some went to the bookcase behind her desk, others on the floor.
She was almost done when she froze in place with a sound of distress.
“What?”
Monica dumbly angled a field notebook toward Ani, all color drained from her face.
Ani knew it, even from a few feet away. The polypropene notebook cover was electric blue, bearing a coded label that ended in GP2008—just like any of the ones from their expedition would be. But it was the large, block-lettered “Kenbrink” that left Ani feeling faint. She’d seen that notebook in the man’s hand, open while he wrote in it, and closed with the clasps fastened, just as it was now. “But…but…how did it get there?”
Monica shook her head. She stared down at the notebook almost as if she didn’t see it.
“Show it to the dean when he gets back. It’ll have somebody’s fingerprints on it.”
“Everybody’s. His assistants all handled it and now I have.”
“But you just found it. I saw you find it.”
“We could be making it up. To cover our plan. Me covering for you. Or you to cover me. I was alone with him. I could have taken them while he was…” She looked as if she would pass out. “While he was dying. No one will believe I just found them right now.”
“Someone planted them.”
She nodded tightly. “Thinking they’d be found when they started a serious search.”
Ani was trembling. “This isn’t right.”
“Everything I’ve ever researched would be…I mean, even if we convince Malmoat, there will be so many who won’t want to believe it. But there’s nothing else for it.” After a hard swallow and a long shaky breath, Monica put the notebook on her desk. “Wait here, okay?”
After Monica left, Ani wondered who would have done such a thing. One of Kenbrink’s people might have, she guessed. It would give them better chances now of winning the grant. Maybe o
ne of them thought Monica could have saved him, though Ani simply didn’t see how.
It might have been one of the other grad students—Shannon Dell had never seemed happy and Ani thought her grasp of science a little weak. Maybe Shannon hoped Monica would get fired and she’d fare better with someone else. Still, that seemed weak. Shannon’s dissertation was complete and would be accepted, even if she wasn’t the most brilliant scientist—she had nothing to gain from having her advisor suddenly replaced. Plus, she cared about proving Monica’s thesis on methane gas and the ticking time bomb it represented. They all did.
Her mind racing, she sat and thought for the next few minutes.
Monica would give the notebook to Malmoat, who would want to believe his own faculty. But he would have to assure the people in Toronto he hadn’t been biased. The Kenbrink folks would never believe Monica hadn’t taken it. Or they would think Ani had taken it, returned it and Monica was taking the fall for a grad assistant. A lesbian grad assistant, like her. Throw in a hint of hanky-panky and it would get very sordid—the kind of gossip people loved to repeat.
Monica came back, still very pale. “Malmoat’s on his way. I had to relay a message, just that he needed to see me right away.”
“What if you never said it had been found?”
“You mean…put it back in the pile and let them find it?”
“No. Like…it’s never found.”
“The idea… You mean like…this went into the boiler? No.” Monica gave her a firm look, though she was clearly frightened. “No, the data can’t be lost.”
Ani wasn’t really sure what she was arguing for. “But it’s not going to be used well. You know his theory is wrong.”
“It’s still a researcher’s work.” Monica lowered her voice. “I found it. And I have to take my lumps. Someone’s out to get me. But it won’t stop me using my data to prove my point about measuring climate change. Glacial deterioration will be faster and worse than we thought.”
Warming Trend Page 10
