Erotic Refugees

by Paddy Kelly

Eoin sighed. “Alright then, but just a hundred and fifty crowns per person.”

  “Great!” Karen said. “I'll just powder my nose and we'll go.”

  “Which will give me time to say hello to the neighbours,” Milly said. “I'm assuming you haven't done that, being men and all. Well go on, get your coats on!”

  Rob, as he passed Eoin’s screen, caught a glimpse of multiple browser tabs being quickly closed. He stopped, and leaned closer.

  “Well now then, what ye up to?”

  “Oh nothing,” Eoin said, in the voice he used when he most definitely was up to something. “Just, you know, some basic stalking.”

  “Stalking?” Rob said, his interest tweaked.

  “It’s nothing, just a girl on Diamond Date. I have her name and her age and her star sign, so I’m just tracking her down. See what she really looks like.”

  “Ah right,” Rob said. “Cool. Um, how?”

  Eoin looked around to see who was listening. “Okay, look. I just check her on the birthday site, since I have her name and age and the star sign gives me the month, right? That usually gives me a few hits, depending on how unusual the name is. Then I check each one of these on Facebook and if I’m lucky she’ll have used the same photo. Or I google her Diamond Date username as a last resort. That works sometimes, since people often use the same name all over the net.”

  “Huh,” Rob said. “Seems a bit of a pain in the arse, having to go through that whole thing every time you want to stalk a bird. I mean, if there was one place you could go to and do it all, that'd be much better. Just fill in her info and it would automatically go out to all those sites and scan them…”

  Rob’s eyes glazed over and his mouth hovered in the open position. Eoin glanced at him, and Rob glanced back, his eyes full of mischief.

  “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “I think I might be,” Eoin said. “I’m thinking we make a website to do that work for us, and then we sell it to people. Total stalking for the busy modern professional!”

  “And an iPhone app too. Plus Android.”

  “Well, naturally there’ll be apps.”

  Rob’s frowned in concentration. “What do we call it though? Date-stalk? I-stalk? Stalk-her?”

  “No ‘stalk’, something friendlier. Ferret, or something like that.”

  “Ferret? That’s your example of ‘friendlier’?”

  Karen emerged from the bathroom and started pulling on her complicated jacket with all its zips and buckles. She gave them a shifty look.

  “Planning to take over the world again, boys? And with badgers, from the sound of it.”

  “Well somebody has to,” Rob said. “World won’t take over itself, you know.”

  Karen shook her head. “That doesn’t even mean anything Rob. And I used to think my older brother was so wise and brilliant. Oh, the misery of age.”

  Milly made her re-appearance, prompting Eoin to lock his computer and pull on his jacket.

  “We’ll get on it later,” Eoin muttered.

  “Damn right we will,” Rob said.

  Milly gave them a suspicious look but let it slide.

  “Well, get your jacket on, Rob, it's Indian!”

  “Um, well,” Rob said. “I'm not going to eat. I've got a thing, that needs doing. Somebody should be gettin' an apology. And I shouldn't keep her waiting.”

  Milly winked broadly at him. “Ah, I see. Best of luck then Rob. See you tomorrow.”

  “Yip,” Rob said, and gave a salute. “Tomorrow it is.”

  Rob waved them out. When the door closed he turned and surveyed the room, nodding in satisfaction. He would indeed see them tomorrow, and the day after, and for very many days more. These were his partners now and this was his company, built from nothing but bluster and luck, and hopefully going places.

  And that all felt very nice indeed.

  The meeting with Kajsa had been Rob's idea. He’d wanted to apologise for suspecting her, and also thank her for showing up at the party to warn him about Linus. He figured an apology was the least he could do.

  But a drink turned into a few drinks and that turned into a pizza at a tiny place on the corner overlooking the darkening water. That in turn led to them taking the same train home, and watching the snow as it drifted onto the buildings of the old town, covering everything in a soft blur of glitter.

  At that point Rob decided he'd have to walk her to her door just because it was dark, and it was close to where he lived, and the city, on occasion, could be dangerous. Just to be nice, and nothing more than that.

  He followed Kajsa inside her building and stood there in the hall. He watched the snowflakes on her hood as they melted and turned into sparkling drops of water. She smiled politely and nodded.

  “Well Rob, thanks for the pizza. And for walking me home. I'll see you.”

  “Yeah,” Rob said. “See you.” But he didn't move. He stared in fascination at the melting snow, watching the drops as they ran from her collar and down the curve of her jacket. He looked up and watched her cheeks as they lost their ruddy winter glow and grew soft and pink. But still he wasn't moving.

  Kajsa bit her lip and nodded. “Well, I'll be off then, up the stairs to my flat.” As she spoke she extended her arm and opened her hand. “Just let yourself out, you know how it works.”

  Rob swallowed. He stared at the hand, at the pale fingers that he knew so well, at the rounded nails with the sloppy purple varnish.

  “Yeah, I guess I'll do that then. See ya.” He lifted his right hand and slid it into hers. She closed it and parted her lips in a sly smile, then turned and made her way up the stairs, pulling Rob after her.

  “But you remember the way to the tunnelbana,” she said, taking the steps at a lively pace. “Out the door, walk five minutes, turn right?”

  “No problem. I know this city like the back of my hand.”

  Kajsa paused at her apartment door. “Okay, that's good. Just be careful on the way home.” She released his hand for a moment to fumble for her keys. She unlocked the door in a hurry, tossed the keys into her bag, and shoved the door open. Rob led them inside and pulled her in after him.

  “So what’s there to watch out for?” he whispered.

  “The weather,” she said. Her breath was urgent as she took a step closer to him, pressing herself right up against him, so close that the only scent in the world was her.

  “It's terrible weather out there you know.”

  “Well let me tell ye one thing I learned in Sweden.”

  Rob slipped one hand around her waist as the other started undoing the buttons on her jacket. The jacket slipped off and fell to the floor, and Rob pressed his mouth to her bare neck, drowning in her delicious scent.

  “There isn't any bad weather, is there? Just bad clothes.”