Ties That Bind

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Ties That Bind Page 20

by Brenda Jackson


  Leigh raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Surely you don’t think Randolph has feelings for Angela?”

  “No, I believe he was either stone drunk or overcome with grief, or both. But the fact still remains that he did sleep with her, Leigh. I found them in bed together.”

  “But consider the circumstances, Jenna. It’s not like he was intentionally unfaithful to you. He was torn up over his brother’s death. I know how that feels from personal experience. You’d do just about anything to ease the pain.”

  “But would you have gone to bed with another man?”

  “Jenna, to be honest with you, there were times I don’t remember if I was coming or going, I was so full of grief when my brother was killed. But luckily for me Noah was there and unfortunately for Randolph you weren’t and Angela took advantage of an opportunity.”

  A part of Jenna didn’t want to believe Leigh’s theory. She didn’t want to believe anyone could be that deceitful and stoop that low.

  “But like I said,” Leigh continued, “you need to go. You need to show Angela that the love you and Randolph share is pure and true, and nothing can come between you, even her sharing his bed when he wasn’t in his right mind.”

  When Jenna didn’t say anything, Leigh kept talking. “I’m sure you couldn’t resist taking a peek at him. He looks so pitiful, Jen. He’s lost Ross and now he thinks he’s lost you, too. He’s going through a hard time right now and he needs you more than ever. And you know in your heart that he loves you. Only you. I don’t think even you can question or dispute that.”

  Jenna nodded as more tears formed in her eyes. In her heart she knew that she couldn’t. Their love had been special from the very beginning. It had even survived Julia Fuller’s meddling. “Oh, Leigh, I don’t know what to do.”

  “Yes, Jenna, I think that you do. I know it hurts, but you’re going to have to swallow your pride and stand by the man you love—the man who loves you.”

  No longer wanting to dwell on Randolph and how she would handle the situation, Jenna asked, “How did Noah handle the news?”

  “Not well. This is the second best friend he’s lost. I’m just grateful he and Ross got to spend time together last month in Saigon. Noah said Ross made him promise that if anything happened to him that he would make sure Gia and the baby were taken care of. And now with Ross gone there’s no doubt in my mind Noah will keep his promise.”

  On October twenty-second more than fifty thousand people—liberals, radicals, black nationalists, hippies, professors, women’s groups and war veterans—participated in a massive demonstration in Washington against the United States’ policies in Vietnam. The demonstrators marched in an orderly procession to the Pentagon where they held another rally and vigil that continued through the early hours of the next day. A force of ten thousand troops surrounded the Defense Department, standing ready to defend a nation against its own people if they had to.

  Not far away a military plane landed, bringing Ross Donovan Fuller home to his country and his family for the last time.

  Tan Son Nhut, Saigon

  Artillery missiles resembling Fourth of July fireworks lighted the sky not far from the military base, and all around the smell of smoke, fumes and cigarette tobacco permeated the air.

  No one noticed the man wearing fatigues as he entered the small freestanding building that served as a chapel. Walking to the front, he knelt before a bruised and battered statue of Jesus.

  Noah’s heart was heavy and tears suddenly sprang to his eyes as he pulled out of his pocket a group of photographs. They were the same photos he had been looking at during his free time over the last five days.

  He knew that back in the States, in Virginia, the services for Ross were about to begin. Taking his time, he looked at one photo and then another, remembering the moment each was taken, just last month. Ross was smiling in every one of them as he stood next to the woman he loved, his bride. The last photo, one taken by another soldier who’d been passing by, had included Noah as well. He stood in the middle with one arm around Noah and the other around Gia. Everyone had been so happy that day, Ross’s wedding day.

  Then that night when he and Ross had some private time alone, his best friend had made him promise that should anything happened to him, Gia and their unborn child would be taken care of. Noah had made him that promise.

  Noah had then made Ross promise that should anything happen to him, likewise, Leigh and his unborn child would be taken care of. Ross had made him that promise as well.

  “Damn you, Ross, looks like I’m it,” Noah said, trying to joke through the tears wetting his cheeks. “That’s just what I need, man, two more mouths to feed.”

  He wiped at his tears. “But I’ll do it for you, buddy. I’ll do anything for you. I promise to take care of and hold dear your most precious possessions. I promise.”

  Nineteen

  Jenna stood in front of the small church as the limousines carrying the Fuller and Denison families pulled up. She hadn’t told anyone she would be here today, not even Leigh who was already seated inside.

  She watched the family members get out of the vehicles and when she saw Randolph her heart ached. He was standing tall, behind both sets of grandparents, taking his place as the lone surviving grandchild in the family procession. Standing by his side where Jenna knew she rightly belonged was Angela, and directly behind Randolph and Angela were Angela’s parents.

  Jenna studied Randolph. Only someone as close to him as she was could feel his pain. He was about to do one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do and that was to say good-bye to the brother he loved and adored. And knowing how great his pain would be was the reason she had come. A part of her could not let him endure it alone.

  Holding her head high, Jenna stepped from behind a group of mourners who had blocked her from view. As if he somehow sensed her presence, Randolph turned and looked her way. This was the first time they had seen each other since the day she had found him in bed with Angela. When their eyes met she saw his pain but then as he continued looking at her, what else she saw took her breath away. She saw his love for her so eloquently stated in his gaze that she stood rooted to the spot. And then, at that very moment, in her heart she knew. No matter what Angela may have thought she had shared with Randolph, she had not shared this—that special connection they had that transcended mere physical contact. For a brief moment Angela may have shared his body, but she didn’t share his heart, mind and soul.

  Jenna moved toward him and he immediately left Angela’s side and met her on the church steps. They exchanged no words. None were needed. His eyes were filled with pain, misery, regret and sorrow. He opened his arms to her and she went into them, and he held her and she held him. Tight. Full of love for each other. A willingness to forgive any transgression. Filled with sorrow and pain for the occasion that had brought them to church today.

  He finally released her and gazed down into her eyes. “I wasn’t sure you would come,” he whispered hoarsely. “I’ve lost Ross and I didn’t know how I would handle losing you, too. I love you so much. I’m sorry, Jenna. I am so sorry for hurting you and for—”

  She reached up and placed her fingers against his lips, sealing off his words. “And I love you, too, and here and now, that’s all that matters. Come let’s go inside, together, and say good-bye to Ross.”

  Randolph nodded. Taking her hand in his, he walked back over to where his family stood. Angela, in shock over Jenna’s appearance, had the decency to step back and join her parents while Jenna took her place at Randolph’s side. Jenna glanced up into Julia Fuller’s tear stained face, and to her surprise she read deep appreciation and a heartfelt thank-you in the older woman’s features. It was evident Julia Fuller was glad that she was there for Randolph.

  All through the service as one person after another got up to speak, Randolph held Jenna’s hand firmly in his. And when he got up, his voice trembled as he spoke of the brother he would forever remember, admire and love.
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br />   During the services Randolph stayed by Jenna’s side, as if he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. Everyone left the graveyard to return to the church for the repass. Jenna knew most of those present and to those she didn’t know, Randolph introduced her as his fiance, the woman he intended to marry.

  Angela played the part of the grieving fiancée which made Jenna think that she hadn’t yet been told that Ross was a married man with a wife in Vietnam.

  After the repass Randolph hailed a cab at the front of the church and pulled Jenna inside the vehicle with him.

  “Where are we going?” she asked when he pulled her into his lap.

  “Somewhere where we can be alone.”

  He took her to the hotel and there in the darkened room, he made love to her. His hands cherished her as they touched her everywhere, creating a raw need within her.

  He took her mouth with his and she sank into their kiss, moaning his name softly, repeatedly, and with an urgency that almost brought tears to Randolph’s eyes. He loved her so much and had come so close to losing her. “I love you,” he whispered when he finally released her mouth.

  “And I love you, Randolph.”

  By the time his body straddled hers, both of them were sexually wired, aching with a need that was filled to the limit with yearning desire. He slipped inside of her, and held there for a moment as her body clutched him and her hands stroked his back.

  He closed his eyes, not wanting to move, needing the unity, the link, the connection while they could make it last. But all too soon she moved her body, desperately impatient for hers to be stroked by him.

  He leaned forward and captured her mouth again, letting his tongue sweep inside, exploring and tasting while his hands pulled her hips closer. The thundering beat of his heart began to match the rhythm he’d set. But he wanted more. He needed more. And she gave it to him. Everything he wanted. Everything he desired.

  When she called out his name again as a climax tore through her body, something inside him exploded, pleasure erupted and his mind shut down. The only thing he could think about was filling her to the rim with his release, making the both of them feel complete, fulfilled and satisfied.

  Even when he thought his body was completely drained, he heard her whisper the word, “More,” and felt his body get hard again as her legs wrapped tightly around him, to hold him inside of her.

  “More,” she repeated.

  And more is what he gave her.

  Hours later, when dawn broke through the hotel’s blinds, they were still in each other arms after having shared a night of insurmountable passion. They knew that somewhere Ross was smiling, glad that they had worked out their problems and were back together.

  Randolph and Jenna’s happiness lasted a little over a month. That was long enough for Angela to make the announcement to everyone that she was pregnant with Randolph’s baby.

  A distraught Randolph broke the news to Jenna when they met to spend Thanksgiving with his grandparents at Glendale Shores. He told her that Angela’s parents, who were still upset about Ross’s marriage to another woman while engaged to their daughter, were determined that Angela would not be humiliated again by a Fuller, and were insisting that Randolph do the right thing and marry their daughter.

  Randolph assured Jenna not to worry about anything and to continue making plans for their June wedding because she was the woman he intended to marry. But Jenna, after much prayer and soulsearching, knew what she had to do. Especially when she remembered something he had once said to her.

  “I’ll never have a child of mine born out of wedlock. Ross and I made that promise to our father during our talk about the birds and the bees, and it’s a promise we intend to keep. Fuller men live up to their responsibilities no matter what they are and no matter the sacrifices that have to be made.”

  With Angela expecting his child, Jenna knew there was no way she could marry Randolph. Without telling him of the decision she’d made, she put in for a transfer with Smith and Riley to work at one their overseas offices. The approval for the transfer came less than a month later, at the beginning of the new year. She had sworn her family and close friends to secrecy as to where she was going.

  She had also told Gramma Mattie. Over the years Jenna had grown close to the older woman and made a special visit to Glendale Shores to tell Gramma Mattie of her decision.

  Mattie Denison understood the painful sacrifice Jenna was making. As the two women walked along the shores with intermittent bouts of hugging and crying, Gramma Mattie told Jenna that no matter what, she would always be the granddaughter of her heart … just as she knew Jenna would be the woman her grandson would forever love.

  Jenna waited until the day before she was to leave for Paris before sending Randolph her letter along with her engagement ring.

  January 13, 1968

  Randolph,

  Please accept your ring back. I’m releasing you from our engagement so that you can be free to do the right thing. I refuse to take you away from your child.

  If you love me you will let me go just like I’m letting you go. Please don’t try to find me. I’ve instructed my family and close friends not to share my whereabouts with you. It’s better this way. Sometimes we have to think of others before we can think of ourselves, and that’s what I’m doing. I pray you will do the same.

  I am also including a check for five hundred and fifty dollars to repay the money you had loaned me, plus adequate interest. This wipes the slate clean between us so we can get on with our lives. Separately.

  Wishing you all the best,

  Jenna

  Book Two

  1980 – 1981

  Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed.

  Proverbs 13:19

  Twenty

  November 1980

  Twelve years and eight months later

  Perhaps it was the expression on his secretary’s face, one that indicated she was truly irked to the bone, that told Randolph something was amiss. After an entire week spent in the courtroom against one of the most cold-hearted and apathetic prosecutors he knew, the last thing Randolph needed was some sort of office crisis. Usually the unflappable and forever cool and calm Clara Bradley could handle just about anything that came her way. In fact that was the main reason he’d hired the older woman six years ago. He didn’t know of any problem she couldn’t deal with competently and efficiently.

  Except for one.

  “Where is she?” he asked when his mind figured out the obvious.

  Mrs. Bradley didn’t bother to look up from her typing. “Your wife is waiting for you in your office, sir.”

  Randolph frowned. “She’s my ex-wife, Mrs. Bradley.”

  “Not according to her, sir. She’s corrected me on that twice today. She says once a wife, always a wife.”

  Randolph frowned, deciding not to cite clear reasonable evidence of the opposite with his employee. “Please hold my calls for a while.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Randolph opened the door to his office then closed it behind him. He clenched his jaw when he glanced across the room and saw his ex-wife sitting on the loveseat, flipping through a magazine like she had every right to be there waiting for him. “What are you doing here, Angela?”

  She looked up and smiled. “I wanted to congratulate you on winning the Blither case. It’s all over the news. Everyone has been talking about what an outstanding job you did.”

  “Thanks, but you could have called. What’s the real reason you’re here?”

  Angela stood and crossed the room to him. “I’m here about Trey. He hasn’t been himself lately and today he finally told me why. He’s upset about that airline stewardess you’re dating.”

  Randolph threw his briefcase on his desk and turned to face Angela, crossing his arms over his chest. Anger was apparent in his features. Ross Donovan Fuller III, named after his brother and whom they called Trey, was his twelve-year-old son. The spitting image of his father, Trey already re
ached his shoulders and had a muscular build as a result of all the sports he participated in.

  “Trey wouldn’t get upset about anyone I date if you’d stop filling his head with foolish notions that the two of us will get back together. It’s not going to happen.” Their marriage had lasted ten years, for his son’s sake and no other reason. But Randolph had soon realized that ten years had been ten years too many with Angela, even for his son’s sake.

  Angela glared at him. “I wonder if you would have been so quick to divorce me two years ago had you known your old girlfriend was somewhere happily married with a family of her own. Don’t you think I know that’s why you did it?”

  Randolph frowned. “Evidently you’ve forgotten about the issue of your unfaithfulness. That’s the reason I did it. No one screws another man under the roof that I’m paying for.”

  Angela flinched. He had been asking for a divorce and she had refused to give him one. Then one day she screwed up when he returned unexpectedly from a business trip and had walked in on her having sex with another man. To be free of her, he had threatened that unless she gave him the divorce he wanted, he would expose her illicit affair with Tommy Gardner, their neighbor’s twenty-year-old son. It hadn’t helped matters that she’d been thirty-two at the time.

  “And what was I supposed to do, Randolph? You weren’t taking care of my needs. You made it clear when you married me that you were only doing it because I was carrying your child.”

  “But that didn’t give you the right to act the part of a whore in my house. What if it had been Trey who’d come home early from school that day instead of me?”

  For a long moment she didn’t say anything. Damn him for having the will to resist her! While married to him for ten solid years, she had tried to seduce him and he’d resisted her at every turn, except for the times he’d awakened during the nights in their separate bedrooms to find her in his bed with her mouth on him. But no matter how good her blowjobs had made him feel, other than letting her finish what she’d started, not once had he ever reciprocated and made love to her. “Tommy Gardner took advantage of me during a weak moment. Is it so hard to forgive me for that one time? I was completely faithful to you until then.”

 

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