by Brandon Witt
Mary’s was filled with cheers and wolf whistles. Darwin wondered if ManDonna had gotten Mark to drop his boxers. If so, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He watched Cody go from table to table, looking both nervous and awestruck the entire time. There really was something about the kid.
No. Not kid. The owner was right. There wasn’t much of a difference between them. Not enough to count.
Maybe he would hang around for a while.
“DO WE really have to play Britney every night?”
Cody made a swishing motion at Pat. “Of course we do! She’s like the original diva. Without her, there’d be no Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato.”
Steven came up beside them and plopped some menus on the hostess stand. “Okay, Sis, number one, I’m not playing Guns N’ Roses. No matter how many times you ask. You can play whatever you want during your shifts at the hospital. Most of your patients are unconscious anyway. Besides the sports in the bar, we play only gay-friendly pop music videos. And two”—he turned to Cody—“Britney is hardly the original diva. You need to go back to gay school. I might forgive you if you said Madonna or Cher, but really, it’s all about Judy.”
“Who’s Judy?”
“For fuck’s sake!” Pat smacked Cody on the ass. “There is absolutely no excuse for your ignorance, love. I don’t care if you are a baby gay. You’re from Kansas. What the hell do you mean who’s Judy?”
Steven cut his sister off. “Never mind that, Patty Cakes. We don’t have enough hours left in the night to get our boy caught up. However”—he pointed to the bar—“your Romeo over there has been hanging out at the bar for over an hour, and you haven’t gone over to him yet.” He gave Cody a warning glare. “And please tell me you know who Romeo is.”
“Yeah, he killed himself because of Juliet.” Cody tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He knew he was an ignorant hick. He didn’t need it rubbed in his face. Even if that wasn’t what Steven was trying to do.
“Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best choice. Still, the fact remains, sexy blond boy is over there waiting, and you’re playing hard to get.”
“No, I’m not.” He wasn’t. True, he’d barely been able to focus on his tables because his attention kept wandering over to the bar. His gaze had caught Darwin’s several times, but he looked away each time. The guy was nice. Very nice. And it would be great to have a friend from the Midwest. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so out of place. But Steven was right; Darwin was hot—tall, blond, and strong. Too hot to be interested in him. “Besides, he’s been talking to Vahin. He’s not interested in me.”
“Oh yes, he is.” Pat waggled her eyebrows suggestively at Cody. “I’ve been eavesdropping. He’s not flirted with Vahin once, and that’s saying something. You’re the only reason he’s still here. Lord knows it isn’t for the music.”
Steven shot her a dirty look but didn’t fight back. “Come on, kid. It’s about time you meet someone decent.”
Cody glanced over toward the softly lit curved bar. Sure enough, Darwin looked back at the same time. He smiled at Cody, then turned away again. Maybe Steven and Pat were right.
Doubtful.
“See. Told ya.” Steve nudged Cody with his elbow. “You’ve only got one table left, let me cover it. You go talk to the professor over there.”
A jolt of fear cut through him. “He’s a professor?”
Steven waved him off. “Nah, but he works at the university. Besides, that’s not the point. Go say hi, flirt a little. I’m not saying you need to let him take you home. Although, there’re worse things to go home with.”
“You always give me a hard time for going home with guys.”
Pat let out a disgusted sigh. “That’s because the guys you let take you home barely qualify as rats. They’re worse than rats.” She pointed to Darwin. “And that, baby gay, is definitely not a rat. I mean, really. Those eyes alone. Lordy.”
“Stop.” Cody pulled Pat’s hand down before Darwin could turn around and see her pointing. But, yes. Yes, he had seen them. Pale ice blue. “You know he kinda reminds me of a male version of Elsa. Those blue eyes, snow-white skin, and blond hair.”
“Who’s Elsa?”
Pat smacked Steven’s arm. “Shut the fuck up. You’ve only watched Frozen about a dozen times with your great-nephew.”
“Oh, right.” Steven shuddered, then cocked his head. “Huh. You know, kid, he kinda does. A much hotter, much more male version of Elsa.”
Cody started to respond, but Darwin glanced over and smiled once more. The smile appeared a bit more wary this time. Cody turned away. “Okay, now we’re freaking him out. I’ll go finish with my table. And you’re both wrong. He’s not interested in me like that. He’s way out of my league.” He lifted his hand, cutting off Steven’s and Pat’s reactions. “He is. He grew up close to Kansas. He’s just trying to be nice.”
“So what if he is, Cody? Lord knows, you could use some friends too.”
Cody flinched. “You’re my friends. Everyone here at Mary’s is my friend.”
Pity flitted over Steven’s and Pat’s faces.
Cody hated that expression. It was the same look his teachers had given him growing up.
“Of course we’re your friends, Cody. We simply want you to meet some other great people.” Pat gave him a motherly kiss on the cheek. “They won’t be as great as us, obviously.”
Steven leaned forward as well, though his expression was anything but motherly. “I’m giving you half an hour, kid. If you haven’t made your move on Tall, Blond, and Frozen over there, I will.”
Pat smacked her brother again. “Gross! You were probably twenty when that kid was born!”
“Hey! Cut it out.” Steven rubbed his arm. “And maybe so, but he doesn’t look like a newborn to me.”
Cody walked away, their incessant squabbling soothing, as always. He’d said they were his friends, but they didn’t really feel that way. They felt like family. Like the family he’d never had and always wanted. And he might be an ignorant hick, but he knew you didn’t announce that after not even half a year of knowing people.
Within ten minutes, his last table of customers had left. Three minutes more and he’d bussed the table and gotten it reset with the mismatched grandma-patterned plates. A minute later, he was doing anything and everything but letting his gaze wander over to the bar.
He killed a few minutes washing his hands in the restroom, taking respite in the solitude until one of the cooks came in. He stepped back into the main space of Mary’s—the voices drifting in from the outside patio, the bright cheerful lights hanging from the ceiling, loud music videos playing on every television bolted to the walls—and an increasing sensation of panic washed over him.
It was all too good. Too beautiful. Too happy. He’d dreamed his entire life of escaping to a place where he was safe. A place where he would be allowed to be different. Not just because he was gay, but because he was small and fine featured. Because he didn’t care about sports or beer or girls or cars. God, his dad and his cars. They’d never had less than four broken-down cars in front of their trailer. Each one of them his father was going to fix up and sell for a shit-ton of money. Of course, that never happened. Or maybe it had and the money had been spent on beer and corn chips.
In his dreams, he was safe and he was allowed to be whoever he was. But even in those fantasies, the place was dark. Billions of lights or not, he’d pictured the city to be dark and gritty. And whatever gay place he’d find was sure to be worse. He wouldn’t have believed a place like Mary’s existed in the world, and if it did, surely it would crumble the instant he found it.
A little over five months, and it still hadn’t fallen apart.
Give it time.
Cody rounded the corner and saw Darwin at the bar, still talking to Vahin. He studied them. They’d be a good couple. Both so handsome. One dark, one light. Darwin might have been from a small hick town as well, but nothing about him seemed like it. He was Vahin’s e
qual. Not for Cody.
At that moment, Darwin glanced over for probably the millionth time and smiled. There was something unsure about the smile, like he was afraid he was bugging Cody. Yeah, as if that were possible. Maybe Pat and Steven really were right. Maybe he was interested and not just being nice.
Probably didn’t want more than a quick fuck, like most of the men. And, honestly, whatever. That would work. Guys like Darwin had been in Cody’s fantasies, but he’d never actually thought someone like that would look at him. A quick fuck was more than he’d dared to hope for in real life. And maybe Darwin would actually take him to bed instead of an alley or the backseat of a car.
With a trembling breath, he walked over to the bar. It wasn’t that far away, but it felt like miles. Cody thought of a new option to start a conversation with every step he took, but by the time he reached the wood and curved steel barstool beside Darwin, he had absolutely nothing to say.
Vahin came to the rescue, whether intentional or not. “Hey, Cody. Shift over? Want your normal Cherry Coke?”
Okay, maybe rescue was too strong a word. “Uhm… sure.” He felt his cheeks burn.
“Cherry Coke, huh?”
Cody glanced sideways at Darwin, then focused on the paper coaster Vahin slid his way. “Yeah. I’m not a big drinker.”
“That’s okay. Not a huge one myself.”
He wasn’t sure if there was wariness in Darwin’s tone or not. “I really am twenty-one. I can order a drink if you need me to prove it.”
Darwin chuckled and placed his hand on Cody’s arm. “You don’t have to prove you’re twenty-one, and definitely not by drinking.”
Vahin plopped down the Cherry Coke. “Oh, he’s twenty-one. We wouldn’t let him work here if he wasn’t. There’s been a slew of underages sneaking in bars lately. Believe me, all of us are on guard. It gets a bit complicated in a place like this with a restaurant and families and such, so we’re extra careful.” He leaned on the bar, flashing his brilliant smile at Darwin. “Believe me, there’s….” He glanced Cody’s way. “Oh. I, uh… have to….” He straightened and shook his head. “Ah, fuck it.” He pointed to the other end of the bar. “I’m gonna go over there so you two can flirt in peace.”
“Vahin!” At the sound of the mortification in his voice, Cody felt his blush grow hotter.
Vahin just shrugged, gave a wink, and walked away.
Cody darted another glance at Darwin. “Sorry. I….” He had no idea what to say.
“It’s all right. I would like to flirt with you.”
This time, Cody looked directly at Darwin. “You would?”
“Yeah. That okay?”
Cody nodded. He had to be dreaming. Or this was a joke. Or maybe a pity thing. Maybe Steven or Pat had paid Darwin to be nice to him.
Neither said anything. Darwin drank his clear drink and Cody his Cherry Coke.
“So that got awkward. Sorry, Cody. I guess that was about all the flirting I know how to do.”
Cody motioned to Darwin’s drink. “Looks like your vodka’s about out. Want me to refill it for you?”
“No. It’s only water. If I’d been drinking the whole time I’ve been waiting for you, I’d be trashed, and I for sure didn’t want that. I truly don’t drink much.”
Darwin was the stuff dreams were made of. Cody’d had enough drinking around him to last a lifetime. “You, uhm, really were waiting here? For me?”
To Cody’s surprise, Darwin blushed. He wouldn’t have expected a guy like Darwin blushing, and for sure not over him.
“Yeah, I was.”
“Why?” Cody hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
Darwin laughed again. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just wanted to get to know you better. You’re intriguing.”
“I think you have the wrong person.” No sooner had the words left his lips than Cody wished he could kick himself. Darwin’s expression had shifted from shy and flirty to one of pity.
“The kitchen is getting ready to close.” Pat leaned around Cody, giving a huge smile. “Maybe some nachos or chocolate cake?”
Darwin lifted his hand. “Oh no. The nachos were great, but I’m stuffed.” He looked at Cody with concern. “But I bet you do, though. You’ve been working. Please get something to eat.”
“No. I’m fine.”
Pat nudged his shoulder. “Come on, sweetie, you always have a grilled cheese after work.”
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.” Cody tried to keep the heat out of his glare. He knew she meant well, but announcing he liked grilled cheese? First the Cherry Coke and now grilled cheese? He might as well ask Darwin to sign his yearbook.
“Okay, suit yourself. We’ll be around if you change your mind.”
Silence fell again until Pat was out of earshot. Darwin thankfully didn’t bring up the grilled cheese. “The people here genuinely seem to care about you.”
“Yeah, they’re all pretty great.” It was true, though he was annoyed with them at the moment, a sensation he’d not experienced before. Even Steven was watching them from across the restaurant.
Darwin seemed to have noticed as well. “I kinda feel like we’re on display. I’m not sure what to say now that I’ve finally got you to myself.”
“Wanna get out of here?” Shit. Did he really just say that? He wasn’t supposed to make the first move. He never did that.
“Sure.” Darwin’s smile reassured him. “Charlie’s is close by, kinda. We could go there. Though I’m not sure if an actual bar is what you have in mind.” He checked his watch. “It’s pretty late. There’s probably not a lot of places open. Where were you thinking?”
“How about….” He stopped himself. Was he actually going to say that? He shouldn’t. If it was going to happen, it should come from Darwin. But if they went to a bar, it would only get later. And then all that would be left would be the alley, bathroom stall, or the backseat of whatever Darwin drove. He didn’t want that. He wanted something different. Something special. Even if just for an hour or two. “How about your place?”
“My place?” Darwin’s eyes bulged. “Oh, my place! I, ah, wasn’t actually thinking about—”
“Oh, never mind. Sorry. I didn’t mean to assume you’d want to. With me.” Damn it. He never did anything right. He looked down at the bar, commanding himself not to cry. He really was a baby. A pathetic baby.
Darwin’s hand closed over his forearm again. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, I do. I didn’t think you would. We don’t have to do that. We can go somewhere and—”
“I want to!” Dear God, could he sound more desperate?
Darwin’s eyes narrowed, and he spoke slowly. “Okay.” His smile shifted from concerned to growing heat. “You sure you wanna do my place? We can go to yours if you’d be more comfortable.”
Oh, yeah. More comfortable in the low-income apartment he shared with a lesbian couple. “No, your place is good.”
For a moment, it looked like Darwin was going to back out, but then he nodded slowly. “Okay, then. My place. You want to grab your car and follow me? I can always bring you back after if you’d rather.”
“Uhm….” He couldn’t admit that he didn’t have a car. Not after the Cherry Coke and the grilled cheese. Didn’t even have a bike. “I’ll ride with you if you don’t mind. And you won’t need to drive me back. I can take an Uber or something.”
“Nonsense. I’ll bring you back.” Darwin slowly slid his hand up and down Cody’s forearm as he spoke, the warm sensation making it nearly impossible for Cody to focus on what he was saying. “Go grab your stuff. I’ll wait here.”
“I got it. Wallet and keys, that’s all I need.”
Darwin stood, and Cody missed the touch of his hand instantly. He’d never been touched like that. “All right, then. Let’s go.”
DARWIN’S CAR wasn’t what Cody had expected. He’d pictured a sports car or some luxury sedan. Instead it was a silver Ford Contour. A Contour. The same fucking car as his mom’s, m
aybe even the same year. The similarities stopped as soon as Cody slid into the passenger seat. This car looked new, clean. The seats weren’t ripped. He couldn’t see any cigarette burns. The dash gleamed every time they drove under a streetlamp, like it had just been polished. “Your car is really nice.”
Darwin let out a snort. “You think? It’s okay, I guess. Gets where it needs to go and isn’t high maintenance. I’ve never been a car guy. That’s more my dad’s thing. He has a Corvette he’s fixing up, but his favorites are the old Chevy trucks. I’m more of a clothes and fashion type.”
“My dad’s into cars too. Doesn’t have a Corvette, though.”
“You like fashion?” Darwin gave a quick glance away from the road.
“Don’t know too much about it, actually. I like your clothes.”
Darwin laughed again. “Thanks. I don’t know if jeans and a polo count as fashion, but thanks.” Cody liked Darwin’s laugh. It was easy and kind. It seemed to match him. Darwin placed a hand on Cody’s thigh. “This okay?”
“Y—” Cody’s voice broke, so he simply nodded. He waited for the hand to move farther up his leg, begin to pull at the button of his jeans, right before the car was pulled over into a parking lot. It didn’t. Darwin’s hand stayed where it was. Warm and heavy. After a minute, Cody moved his hand and placed it on top of Darwin’s. He got a small squeeze in response.
He tried to think of something to say. Anything. “So, uh, Darwin. That’s an unusual name. Are you named after Charles Darwin?”
Darwin laughed. “You know, I was never asked about that until college. Darwin is a family name. I’m sure Charles Darwin never even entered my parents’ heads. The father of evolution wouldn’t exactly be their pick of a namesake for their son.”
“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. Your family is religious?”
Darwin nodded, offered a smile, then turned back to face the road.
They didn’t speak the rest of the way, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Full of nerves to be sure, but there was an easiness to it.
