“What’s up man?” he said as he gave Johnny a soulful handshake.
“Hi Toi and Candice. You both look beautiful tonight.”
He then bent down and kissed both of us on our cheek. As he leaned in to kiss me, he whispered, “I need to talk to you.” I continued to smile and pretended he’d said nothing.
Fred just nodded toward Michael and said, “What’s up?”
He didn’t bother to shake his hand. I grabbed Michael’s hand and focused all of my attention on him, but as soon as I looked away from Fred he said to Toi, “So Toi, when did you and Candice get into town?”
Before Toi could answer, a reporter came over and wanted to speak with Michael. He stood up from the table.
“Baby, excuse me for a moment. I need to go and speak with this reporter for a few.”
This was definitely one of those times when you know God is watching over you. My heart had started to beat a hundred miles a second before Michael got up. Fred was definitely trying to push my buttons.
I was relieved when he got up because I didn’t know what Fred was trying to pull.
Toi hesitated. She looked at Johnny and then at me before she answered.
“We’ve been here for a few days, shopping, eating, doing things that women like to do.”
“Why didn’t y’all call me? You know I wanted to see you,” Fred asked as he looked into my eyes.
Johnny looked puzzled. He was a good friend of both Michael and Fred. I knew he didn’t want to be in the middle of our mess, so I said, “Fred, isn’t that your lovely wife over there, what’s her name? Didn’t I meet her the last time I ran into you?”
He looked at me with fury in his eyes, but before he could answer me I said, “Toi will you please walk with me to the ladies’ room?” We got up from the table and left.
“He’s trippin’ big time,” Toi said as we headed toward the ladies’ room.
“That nigga’s with his wife. I don’t think he’ll be bothering us anymore.”
“That man is obsessed with you girl. You done let him taste the candy, now he’s lost his freakin’ mind. He just walked to the table and started talking like he didn’t even see Michael at all.”
“I know that took a lot of nerve. I’m glad that reporter came over to speak with Michael, because ain’t no telling what Fred would’ve said.”
When we walked out of the ladies’ room, Fred was waiting for me by the door. He pulled my arm and said, “What the hell do you think you are doing?!”
“Would you please let go of my arm? Leave me alone and go back to your wife.”
“I asked you, what the hell are you doing? Is that faggot ass nigga getting my pussy?”
He squeezed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.
“Stop Fred! Let go of me!”
I tried to pull away from him, but he pushed me harder against the wall and said, “I asked you is that nigga gettin’ what’s mine?”
I did not acknowledge his question, I just kept trying to pull away from him.
“Candice, I love you. I’m not going to let you go that easy. Don’t make me tell that nigga you wit who woman you really is.”
I finally pushed past him and walked away. He was really trippin’.
What had I gotten myself into? He wanted me so bad that he’d do anything to mess up what I had. That nigga’d even risk his wife knowing what happened between us because he knew that she is not going nowhere. She has a proven track record that she is not leaving.
Toi asked all stupid while looking concerned, “Do you think you should tell Michael that you messed around with Fred before he does or before he finds out?”
“Hell no, I’m not going to tell him anything, and if Fred tells him I would deny most of it anyway. The sex was good, but it’s not worth all this drama, especially if it means loosing my baby. Anyway, Fred has too much to lose. He is married to a woman he claims he don’t love, because it will cost him too much to leave her. Why would he take a chance and mess up his situation, by telling Johnny, when he know that I don’t want him?”
The rest of the night went by like a blur. Michael and I danced and laughed, but every now and then I’d catch Fred just staring. Remember that plate of mess I talked about earlier? I really had a mouthful right about now. But, as usual, you can never keep a true diva down.
After we left the party, Michael and I made passionate love all night. Afterward, I actually began to forget about the whole Fred thing. I just enjoyed my visit, and before we knew it, it was time to get back to reality again.
My trip to Atlanta was an eventful one this time. Toi and I accomplished all that we needed to. I really enjoyed Michael, and I knew now that nothing was more important than being with him. I didn’t care if I ever saw Fred again. He was history. I made a mistake, but it’ll never happen again.
Okay, okay, I am not a woman who never say never because never is a long word. I try not to say what I will never do so I’ll just say that for now, I’m a one-man woman.
I always enjoyed seeing my baby in Atlanta, but there’s no place like home. I was so happy when I set foot back in West Palm Beach. Amber was even on time to pick us up from the airport. She knows how I feel about having to wait after a long flight. I’m so impatient, but that’s just me though. But my girl was at baggage claim waiting for us to arrive. She had a big smile on her face. Either Miss Lady was glad to see us, or she had something wonderful on her mind.
“What’s up girl?” I asked as I gave her a hug.
“Did y’all divas have a good time in Atlanta? I wanted to join y’all, but I was so busy at work I couldn’t get away.”
“You weren’t that busy at work. You were busy with that nigga. You must really be in love to turn down a free trip to Atlanta with you girls,” Toi said jokingly.
“Did I miss anything important?”
“No. Ain’t nothing more important than taking care of yo man. I’m sure you did that.”
“Did y’all take care of that business with ol’ boy?”
“We did what we had to do. You already know that Candice has an answer for everything. She hasn’t let me down yet,” Toi replied.
“She hasn’t let you down? You mean she has never let me down. I don‘t know what I would do without her,” Amber said as if I wasn’t there.
“Would y’all stop talking about me like . . .”
Before I could finish my sentence, they both said, “We can’t help if we love ya.”
It feels good to have people love you and care about you. We were blessed to have each other. Besides Big Money, they were all the family that I had. My mom was murdered when I was fourteen and they never found out who did it. They really didn’t try too hard because it happened in a crack house. My mom was one of the unlucky ones. She let crack ruin her life and eventually take it. She liked living fast. She was a beautiful woman, but didn’t use it to her advantage. When I started high school, she began dating a big-time hustler. He turned her out on crack. She eventually lost her job, and I believe, most of her mind.
When her boyfriend caught a bullet, she couldn’t support her habit anymore. Like most people who get hooked by drugs, she started doing anything and everything for a fix. Money told me she tried to win for a couple of dimes and was shot in the head. Although he had a nice crib, he stayed with me off and on at the apartment me and my mom lived in so I would not have to be by myself. I stayed in school because I knew that was my ticket out the hood. I had a job, but Money helped me pay the bills so I didn’t have to go into a foster home. No one at school knew I lived alone at fifteen. My teachers thought that I had a family with a dog or something. I never let people know too much about me or my life.
I had no choice but to grow up if I wanted to survive that drug-infested environment. I was determined to make it, and, by the grace of God, I did. I had no other blood family in the world. This was why Toi and Amber’s friendship was so important to me. I have always considered Money my family. I didn’t have no one else u
ntil my girls came into my life.
Amber and Toi were getting too serious for me, so I changed the subject as we drove off.
“So Miss Thang, what did you do that was so important it kept you from coming to Atlanta?”
“Well, if you must know, I went out of town with Kenny.”
“You didn’t tell us you were going out of town when I called.”
“I know. I didn’t want y’all to worry or ask questions that I didn’t have answers for.”
“What did you do that would make us worry?”
At that moment, Amber got a serious look on her face. She looked at me, and then she stared at the floor of the car. She lifted her hand up and showed us her ring finger.
“I went to Lake Tahoe and got married.”
Toi and I both started screaming and pulling her hand closer so we could see the ring. We hugged her and congratulated her on her marriage. Once she saw that we didn’t question her decision, she started yelling and singing, “I’m married! I’m married! Amber got a man! Amber got her man!” She waved her hand in the air as if she was dancing to music.
We joined in with her, the best backup singers in the world.
“Amber’s married! Amber’s married! Amber got a husband. Go Amber. It’s yo birthday, no Amber it’s yo wedding day!”
“Girl, how does it feel?”
“When did y’all decide to get married?”
“How did he ask you?”
“Girl, we want to know everything.”
We confused Amber with our barrage of questions. She turned her head from the left to the right and back again, not knowing which question to answer first. She decided to wait until we got to my house before she would say anything.
When we arrived at my house, Amber told us how they went for a walk in the park, and he started telling her how important she was to him. Then, out the blue, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. If you knew Amber you’d know that she probably fainted. At first she didn’t know what to do, but they did know that they didn’t want a big wedding. So, they eloped.
Amber is a good person, and she deserved a good man in her life. She’s already acting like the perfect wife. As soon as we got to my house, she called her new hubby and told him that she was going to sit with me for a while and she’d be home in about an hour. When she hung the phone up, Toi said teasingly, “You act like you’ve had practice at this. You calling and thangs, reporting in with yo man like a good wife should.”
“She’s doing the right thing. Girl, don’t pay no attention to her. Anyway Toi, you report your every move to Johnny. It’s just respect. That’s what makes a good relationship. You supposed to let your man know that you’re thinking about him. A man feels more secure when he knows where his woman is and what she’s doing. But, remember, a nigga still needs to know only so much.”
We talked for over an hour before Amber went home. Toi stayed with me while I unpacked my clothes. This gave us a chance to talk about all that happened in Atlanta. When I finished with my clothes, we decided to call it a day and meet for dinner tomorrow after work. So, I took her home.
FOURTEEN
Is it for love, financial security, or the sex?
Can you honor the commitment?
Why do you want me at your disposal?
Think before the ring and . . .
the proposal
Michael had had a long and tiring month. His team had been traveling nonstop for the past three weeks, only to come home for two home stands that lasted two days each time. Being away from my man for a whole month was not in this program, at least, not the one that I was directing. Anything over two weeks apart, the script has to be rewritten. I needs mine. My man is way too good to me and I miss him way too much to stay away from him for too long. Besides, I be missing my baby too much.
To solve our problem of him traveling all month, I decided to meet him on the road. I was waiting for him when he arrived in San Francisco with nothing on but a red bow tied around the hairs on my paradise. Oh yeah, he knew I was coming to meet him. I’d never surprise my man like that. I don’t want to be the one to get the surprise, if you know what I mean. I know a couple of women who showed up without their man knowing. One of them caught her husband with his head buried deep between another woman’s legs when she opened the door. Who do you think got the biggest surprise out of that situation?
The other woman came into town earlier than her man expected and slipped on something sexy. When she heard him coming, she hid in the closet and was planning on jumping out and saying, “Surprise!”
Before she could, she heard a woman’s voice. To see what was going on, she decided to stay in the closet and listen. To her surprise, it wasn’t one woman, but two. The three of them had a nasty freak party. While one girl was sucking him, he was licking the other’s cat and butt hole while she bent over. Now peep this, she had her finger in his butt at the same time. Eww wee baby, now that’s just too nasty. He didn’t even wipe himself off between changes, and the women just loved it. He even screwed them in the butt. I already told y’all how I felt about that dookie love. Can you imagine having a nigga that nasty? What’s worse, what if he’s yo husband? You would have a mess on your hands and you would not even know it. This makes me wonder, does anyone ever really know their mate or who they are sleeping with every night?
Every time I visit my man, he knows that I’m coming. I’m not trying to get surprised. I don’t want him popping up on me, and I won’t be popping up on him.
When I met him in St. Louis, I made sure that I’d arrive on his off day. I wanted him to pick me up from the airport. When he saw me walking through the airport terminal, he had that “I’m going to tap that ass” look in his eyes. He gave me a big hug, and acted like he didn’t want to let me go. So, while we were waiting on my luggage, I took his hand and put it under my dress. All he felt was this hot wetness between my legs. That nigga got an instant hard-on and rushed me to the limo. Before I sat down good, he was all in me, and I was lovin’ every inch of it.
That’s the kind of response I like getting from my man. I love doing unexpected freaky stuff like this. A man loves it and it definitely helps to spice up a relationship. Like I keep tellin’ y’all, tease then please and you can live yo life with ease.
We’d become inseparable. It was like we’re totally connected. Even though we had not seen each other in a month we still talked every day. We really tried to understand each other’s wants, dislikes, and pet peeves. I was not trying to change him, and he was not trying to change me. We accepted each other fully, even though we might not agree all the time. That’s okay though. A mature relationship means not being afraid to let your mate be his or her own person.
Michael told me that he couldn’t deal with our situation, us being apart, for much longer. I felt the same way. Sometimes after I’ve had a long hard day, I just want my man to put his arms around me and hold me. I want to be able to roll over in the middle of the night and get mine when I’m ready. I like to get mine even when my man is asleep. I turn him on his back and ride it. He may be asleep when I start, but before the second or third stroke he’s wide awake.
We liked spending all our free time together, but our schedules just wouldn’t allow it. Yeah . . . I know, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do to be where ya wanna be. So, I’ve started to make time for my relationship. My time is a little more flexible because I set my own hours.
I often wonder how ballplayers’ wives deal with their husbands’ being away from home most of the year. Nah, I gotta be real with y’all. The wives that are in it for the financial security don’t care if the nigga ever come home. They don’t want to be bothered with him anyway.
In fact, one of Michael’s teammate’s wives told me that she likes when her husband is gone because she cannot stand to be around him too long. But check this out, she said that when he touches her she feels nasty and that she doesn’t like making love to him at all. She’s boning his cousin an
yway. Now, that’s some foolish there. Well, it is her life and I can’t judge a woman for doing what she thinks she has to do to keep her sanity.
For the women that actually love their man, they really have problems. The distance is nothing compared to all the hoes looking for a sugar daddy. Y’all already know what I’m talkin’ about. That’s the broads that follow the team from city to city and state to state fucking, sucking, and doing whatever it takes to get a man. I can’t see it. This is one of the reasons why a relationship has to have a solid foundation. The wives have so much to deal with, but the nigga always think that the money compensates for all of the extra bull.
People think that because a woman is married to a player, all of her worries and hard times disappear. They believe that she lives a fairy-tale life and that all her dreams come true, but nothing can be further from the truth.
First of all, a professional ballplayer has two lives that are completely opposite one another: the world of sports and family.
His sports life consists of fame, notoriety, women, sex, groupies, and of course, the game itself, which he loves more than life.
Then, there is his family, which consists of his wife and/or kids. He tries to appreciate his family because subconsciously he knows he needs them. In reality, his career and the fast-paced lifestyle keep him on a high. It’s a natural high that money can’t buy, nor can it be understood unless you have experienced it for yourself. He has unlimited access to a life that most men only dream about.
When he can’t get this high at home because he’s caught up in the hype and he doesn’t understand the value of family, he does the inevitable. He gets the groupie who has screwed most of the players in the leagues and makes her his mistress. A one-night stand is different from a mistress. When yo man screws a woman for one night and forgets about her, that’s a one-night stand. When he starts breaking her off something proper, that hoe has become a mistress. And he thinks, as long as his wife don’t know, that he is not doing any wrong.
Sins & Secrets Page 13
