Ben asked if he could do watch with Reggie and I tonight. Neither of us had any complaint. He could join our skeleton screw whenever he couldn't sleep. Insomnia these days was an epidemic.
As the moon rose, nearly full, the three of us crawled out onto the roof and adjusted into comfortable sitting positions. Not easy on a roof.
REGGIE: Today...today absolutely sucked. And I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry about your Uncle.
ME: It's alright. I'm sorry to you.
REGGIE: For what reason?
ME: The Shambler on the skates. I know-
REGGIE: Hey, man...stop. That shit messed me up for a minute but I'm good, don't you worry about me. I'm gettin' along okay. Besides, you were right...part of life now. Gotta do what we gotta do.
BEN: I haven't killed one.
ME: The time will come. Kelly hasn't either, but she's gotta.
REGGIE: Pfft! That'll be a fun discussion. I'm just gonna be a spectator on that one. And everyone she shoots or whatever, she gonna wanna burry or cremate.
ME: She'll adapt to it all eventually. She has to. Has no choice. Even if we have to disable one and then have her kill it....not a bad idea, really.
BEN: I could do that, too. Maybe her and I can at the same time.
ME: I see that being a huge fight, so we'll just keep them separate.
BEN: You think Tim will be okay?
ME: Yeah....he just needs some time. He's definitely not stable right to go out with us right now, so he'll stay here until he is. Until we're sure he's in the right a state of mind.
BEN: I know how he feels...
REGGIE: What happened, Ben? I mean, if you're up to it.
BEN: My Dad and his girlfriend and my little brother died two days before I got in the bowling alley. Some people tried to get in. We lived just down the road, toward town...closer to the library. It was a guy and woman. Older, I mean not old old, but older than my Dad. They were banging on peoples doors...at first they were pleading to be let in...and knowing my Dad, he would have maybe let them, but as they got closer we heard them starting to demand to be let in. They were waving around a gun. He was, I mean.
ME: They became desperate.
BEN: I guess...I donno. They fired a shot into the air to try and scare us I guess? It worked...at least for my little brother and me. His name was Henry. [Quiver in voice] my Dad yelled at them. His girlfriend...Megan. She was behind him. Outside we heard that horrible sound. The...what was it?
ME: Dead Call?
BEN: Yeah....then the people outside started screaming. The gunshot, ya know? Bolters. Four of them.
REGGIE: Maybe the ones we killed...
BEN: I hope so. They tore the couple apart...the screams didn't last long. Henry was only six...he didn't know better...he started to cry, he cried loud. The things started ramming the door. Too many of them, too fast and strong. Dad screamed run and the door broke. They were on him. On her. Three were attacking them...I grabbed Henry..his arm...but the other one grabbed him. [Crying] He tore him away and just started biting....I just ran...I ran upstairs and I went into my Dads room. I knew inside his closet was a way into the roof.
ME: Like the crawlspace or something?
BEN: [Nodded] Yeah. I climbed up there and tried to cover my ears but I could hear them all screaming still. I donno when it stopped...I stayed there all night. When I woke up, I stayed there all day. It was so hot but I stayed up there as long as I could. I hadn't heard anything for a very long time. I went downstairs. There was blood on the floor....lots of blood. Smears and stuff on the walls. They were gone.
REGGIE: I'm....wow, kid. I'm sorry.
ME: I'm sorry. So they...turned, of course. Did you see them after that?
BEN: No! No...I was so scared I would. I went outside and saw the blood from the older people. They were gone too. Lots of blood going down the sidewalk....I went the other way. Took forever...but I slowly got to the alley. I don't know why I wanted to go there....I was just there all the time...
ME: Familiar place. Felt safe.
BEN: Yeah, I guess. I'm gonna go in now, I'm kinda tired....is that okay?
ME: Of course that's okay. I'm sorry, Ben.
BEN: It's okay....goodnight.
ME: Goodnight.
REGGIE: Night, little man.
[silence for a minute]
REGGIE: That kid has seen some shit, man. Shit no kid should see or go through.
ME: Yeah....he's gonna be scarred for life from that. I'm surprised he's not a mute.
REGGIE: A what, now?
ME: Mute....sometimes when a kid goes through something like that, they stop talking. For a long time.
REGGIE: Oh. He's a tough ass kid to go through that and then make his way safely that far to the bowling alley...survive alone for two weeks.
ME: Tough as nails.
REGGIE: Think he'll be alright?
ME: I think he'll be fine. He'll never be totally normal from it all...then again, what exactly is normal? He'll be fine. He's a fighter. A survivor.
REGGIE: And Tim? You know him best...what do you think?
ME: I think he'll be fine....
REGGIE: You sure?
ME: He's tense...I get it. Just the last few times out, before today...he had a reckless look going on. That's why I just want him to stay here for awhile...make sure he has a clear head before going anywhere.
REGGIE: What do we do now?
ME: Tomorrow we'll help Tim dig for Ken somewhere in the back.
REGGIE: Right...right. Of course.
ME: Maybe in a couple days, I was thinking of heading a little farther out.
REGGIE: Back up, son...you're talking that talk that scares me now.
ME: We got G-Ville covered. We have a safe house set up....we know where to look for supplies in town....but we have to check around.
REGGIE: Where you talking?
ME: Mantua....it's smaller than G-Ville and there's a few places I'd like to check out....and scope the area....see how bad things are. It was also a second home....I spent a lot of time there.
REGGIE: Hmmm. Me, you and Jim..Ben?
ME: I wanna leave Ben here when we go. Depending on how Tim is. Ben can help keep an eye on him. Maybe Ben will even open up to Tim about his own tragedy...let him see what he went through. They have something tragic in common. Maybe they'll be able to kinda help one another. I donno.
REGGIE: Yeah, maybe.
ME: Nice night at least.
REGGIE: Yeah. Moon is a lot nicer out here.
ME: Sure is....
***
I asked Tim to wait for Reggie and myself to get some sleep and we'd help him with digging his Dad a grave in the back. But when I got up around noon, he'd already had it mostly dug, far back by the trees. I guess it was something he wanted to do on his own...I wouldn't fault him for that.
At least he let us help him clean Ken off...get the blood and grime off of him and try to cover the wound in his head. We wrapped him delicately in white sheets, securing it with some rope we found in the garage. From there, we drove his body over in the back of his truck to the hole.
Tim and I carefully lowered him down and set him gently. I climbed out and helped Tim pull himself up. A few words were said, but there was mostly a grim quiet. Reggie started to head back to the truck. I sensed he had felt awkward and out of place.
Tim asked for some time alone, so I left him to that.
When we were back in the house, I found Kelly staring out the back window at him. I heard a sniffle and saw her wipe her nose or eyes. Jim was sitting at the counter on a stool. He was flipping through a magazine, dead celebrities on the cover smiling.
I then wondered randomly if any celebrities were still alive. Down on our wave length now....humbled and adapting. We're all equal now.
Kelly came over to the kitchen island and sat next to her husband. My eyes had turned to the window and I saw Ben trotting out toward Tim. I hoped they could be therapeutic for each other.
ME: I
n a couple days, I want to head further out. Another town, scout it out.
[Reggie entered room behind me]
KELLY: Really? That's what we're gonna talk about right now?
ME: Yes, that's what we're talking about right now.
KELLY: How many times you wanna try getting yourself and everyone else killed, Jack??
JIM: Babe!....ease up. You haven't seen things out there. We take these risks to keep us safer.
KELLY: We have all we need right here! We have food, we have shelter...water. What's the point of going out?
JIM: We have GOT to think ahead. I know you've been testy lately but that's got to stop, seriously. It's not helping. This is life now...like it or not. Nothing is ever going back to the way it was and you can get pissed at me but you need to see that and accept that. Please!
KELLY: What're we thinking ahead for Jim? Please, tell me.
JIM: Pretty sure we already went over this, hon. Winter is going to be here before we know it. Sure, we have shelter...and we have food and water, for now! It will run out....even if we gather a lot before winter....we'll still have to venture out during winter...in the cold. For that reason alone, is enough to set up the safe houses so if we ever get stranded in the cold, we'll have a place to go...or would you prefer we freeze to death and not come back?
KELLY: That's a shitty thing to say to me! I'm always here worrying, constantly. It's always me worrying here!
JIM: You think we aren't worried out there? Scared around every corner...not knowing what may attack us...of dying and you being here alone with only one other person, maybe two....we worry, too!
ME: Kelly, that's something I wanted to bring up here, with the both of you.
JIM: What's that?
ME: Kelly, you're right. You're stuck here and stressed to the limit. We're out there, like Jim said, worried too...but it's a different worried. We're focused on staying alive. In ways, you have it worse...you're sitting here counting hours hoping we come home...I get it. I think it's time you start coming along sometimes.
JIM: Wait, what? No!
KELLY: I can speak for myself, Jim. And what? You don't think I can handle myself?
JIM: I didn't say that...I just don't want my wife out there in danger! If you'd seen what we've already seen, you wouldn't want to go out there.
KELLY: Jim....you really think I'm like..a hundred percent safe here or something? A group of assholes could storm this place, Jim. While you're all gone. A giant horde of those...things!...could march right in this direction. You ever think about that?
JIM: You gonna wanna bury ever body you see? Like with Stan? Cause that life is gone, Kell.
KELLY: Stan...was awhile ago...give me some more credit, asshole. I've had some time to get used to shit, I'm sure that's a shock to you...cause I'm a woman, maybe? Think I have a hard time? Shit, Reggie has probably had a tougher time than me, ever think of that?
REGGIE: Hey now, whoa!...why am I getting dragged in here...cold!
KELLY: I'm sorry, I'm just saying....I didn't mean anything by it...I just know you...and you have a golden heart and this hasn't been easy on you and I know it...hasn't for me either.
REGGIE: Fair enough.....thank you.
KELLY: I agree. I can't stay in this house much longer before I fucking snap. It's one reason I'm probably so..."testy" as you said.
JIM: [sigh] Okay. Okay.
KELLY: So where we heading?
ME: A small town a little further out....smaller than G-Ville....we'll go through there on the way though and show you the area and safe house we set up.
KELLY: Okay...when?
ME: I was thinking in a couple days.
KELLY: I wanna go tomorrow.
JIM: Seriously? You don't wanna like mentally prepare or something for a day.
KELLY: No, I wanna go tomorrow.
ME: I'm okay with it...
JIM:....Alright.
REGGIE: I guess. Why not?
KELLY: We all going?
ME: No....I want Tim to stay here awhile. He's just not stable right now and Ben can stay with him.
KELLY: Good call.
ME: Grab some kind of weapon you're comfortable with from the basement...and a firearm you know how to use.
KELLY: Okay.
ME: We'll head out tomorrow afternoon then.
***
That night on the roof Reggie I noticed was more relaxed than he had always been before. He wasn't clutching the rifle as closely...wasn't startled by every distant Dead Call. After the other day I think he feels more capable with himself. More confident. It was good...and I worried a little less for him now. And Kelly....she had obviously kept her evolutions to herself...or maybe we just hadn't noticed since we'd been gone a lot and then on watch or sleeping.
As Recorded:
You always got that fuckin' recorder on you? Is it on you now?
Yes and yes.
Is it recording now?
Yes.
And you always be jotting shit down in those little notebooks....it's a weird way to cope with shit.
A lot of people write to cope.
But you also recording everything. The others probably get pissed off or annoyed. Folks don't like being recorded.
Hence why they don't much know about it. It's in my pocket, I click it on when we talk sometimes and when we're out.
Whatever helps you or keeps your shit glued together.
You know all those stories you hear from individuals about certain events or situations in history? Like stories from World War II or Korea and stories from Katrina and other disasters and wars....most of the stories would never have been heard if it wasn't from documentation. Those stories made it to others to be told, by people jotting it down in notebooks as you just said. The footage you see up close from more modern wars....that was someone with a video camera running with those soldiers....his only job was to film and document so it could all be recorded and be shown. So history would be written down and photographed. I'd really like to think there's others besides myself out there jotting in their own notebooks. Using audio recorders or filming their experiences...that others one day may find them...learn from them...learn what to do and not to do. To see others' victories and mistakes.
Well....when you put it all like that, shit. You ain't been scoping though for damn camcorder have you?
No [laughs]. No, that'd be a bit much...besides...there's plenty of news footage just sitting around....our fall is well documented. This is for what came after the fall. I'm sure there's filmers out there, in larger groups. Or small ones. Some people have a great love of film documentation...they'd film everything. That'd probably really annoy and piss people off...I've always just been the more literary type. Reading, writing...I enjoyed it as a passtime.
I won't say another word....because it's not a camera in my face. So whatever. Not to change the subject...but I guess I am...Kelly today! Daaamn.
Yeah! Not exactly the response I was expecting.
Fuck no, not at all. I was glad though! I thought a much bigger fight was gonna erupt....but to my fuckin' surprise...and shock....she agreed with you. And instead of telling you off...she told Jim off, shit! She put that boy in his motherfuckin' place like...fast!
Sure as hell did. I think he was just as surprised as we were...but like you said, I'm glad. She actually wants to get out there and know this stuff.
You think she's truly ready, though? We seen some fucked up shit out there. Bloody and tragic shit.
She's already witnessed bloody and tragic shit. Don't forget she was there with Rebecca and Anne and Stan. We forget that because of all the shit we've seen lately that she hasn't...but she's seen it.
Right, you are. True, true.
Another nice night tonight...
Sure is...and not too hot, either. So...lay it on me, brother.
The fuck you talking about?
When we first got here, you gave me a mental tour of G-Ville. Give me a mental tour of, what is it? Manaw
ay?
Mantua...but close enough. Many have called it that, actually.
I'm always on it!
Mhmm. Like I said, it's smaller than G-Ville. Tim and I spent almost just as much time there as around here. There's a nature trail than runs along side the Cuyahoga river. It's a nice trail to walk.
The Dead Lands Diary (Book 1) Page 11
