“And you’re not?”
“I think I am but—”
“You’re not,” she repeats.
“I really am,” I almost shout. “Of course I am. I am excited.”
“Stop lying. I know you better than anyone.”
In spite of myself I laugh. “I know that for a fact.”
“Well”—Heather’s face grows serious—“what is it? What aren’t you telling me, little sis?”
If there’s anyone I should feel safe voicing my deepest concerns to, it’s my sister. It was hard not being able to talk to her about Winston for six whole months. “I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Everything is perfect.” I rub my chin. “Well, almost.”
Heather waits for me to continue. She knows there’s more coming.
I let out a deep sigh. “Since we got engaged, Winston seems more controlling.”
What Heather doesn’t know is that I’ve barely slept all night, thinking about my last few conversations with Winston.
“What gave you that impre—” Heather breaks off when Jane shows up with our milkshakes.
“Thanks,” I say when she places my Cocotella in front of me, my favorite coconut and Nutella mix ever. I take a long sip, enjoying the thick, sweet liquid coating my tongue. It’s pure comfort in a glass.
“You were saying...” Heather raises an eyebrow, her thumb and forefinger positioning her straw at her lips.
I take another drink and push my glass to the side. “As I mentioned to you yesterday, before we came here, he took me to the Maldives to celebrate our engagement. It was amazing at first. Then something happened. It might be silly to you.”
“If it’s not silly to you, it’s not silly to me.” Heather dabs her lips with her napkin.
“Thanks.” I sigh with contentment.
The sounds of music, laughter, and the ding of the cash register make me feel so at home.
Why have I ever felt the need to escape to New York? I have everything I need right here—my family, my friends, my milkshake, and peace. In New York I always felt like I had to be on the go all the damn time. I could never really relax.
“Jenna?” Heather’s voice cuts through my thoughts, jolting me. “You’re far away.”
“He threw my romance novel away.”
Heather’s eyes widen. “No. Haven’t you told him how holy your books are to you?”
Laughter spills from my lips. My heart feels lighter to the point I’m wondering if I’m overreacting. “No, he certainly didn’t know.”
Heather shifts her chair closer to the table. “Did he throw it away on purpose or—”
“Yep. He called it trash and said no woman of his reads that stuff.”
Heather leans back, arms folded. “To be honest, that would piss me off as well.”
“That makes me feel so much better. I kind of wondered if I was overreacting. I’m not, right?”
“Not at all. Why does he think he has to dictate to you what kinds of books you should read? People read romance novels all the time.”
“That’s not all.” I take a long sip of my milkshake. “Heather, he also didn’t want me to stay a few more days with you guys. He wanted us to leave the day after we arrived.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, sweetie, but those are alarm bells right there.” She blows out a breath. “Are you sure you’re ready to marry him? I’m not saying you should break up, but maybe you need time to actually date for a while before you tie the knot.” She lowers her voice to another level. “You said yourself last night that most of your time in the last six months was spent between the sheets.”
“Yeah. There’s a lot I need to think about.” I bite into my lower lip as her words sink into my mind. After what happened in the past few hours, my anxiety has returned full force. But the thought of voicing my concerns to Winston makes my stomach twist with anxiety.
I’m relieved when Heather drops the topic of my relationship and we talk about other things while finishing our drinks.
During our drive back to Mom and Dad’s I’m deep in my thoughts. Heather doesn’t disturb me, giving me the time to think things through. She drops me off at the door and draws me into a big hug.
“Follow your heart, sis. If you think he’s the one, marry the man. If you have doubts, slow things down a notch.” She tightens her arms around me. “I love you. Say hi to Mom and Dad. Tell them I won’t make it to dinner tonight, maybe tomorrow.”
I watch her drive off before I disappear into the house to spend a quiet day with my parents, trying hard not to notice the piles of magazines all around the house because most of them tell the story of my engagement.
After dinner, I go to bed early. I’m surprised when I fall asleep immediately, exhausted from all the thoughts that had tortured my mind all day. I still haven’t come to a decision.
At midnight, the doorbell rings. I’m the one who goes to the door, confused that someone would visit so late.
My heart stutters when I find Winston standing on the doorstep, a bouquet of white roses in his hands. “I had to come back.” He leans in for a kiss. “I missed you too much.”
Chapter Fifteen
I close the door behind me and step outside. The sea breeze cools my skin and teases my hair. “What are you doing here, Winston? It’s really late.”
“I know what time it is.” He glances past my shoulders at the closed door. Won’t you ask me in?”
Nervous butterflies erupt in my belly as I think of what to say. “I...everyone is sleeping.”
Even as the words leave my lips I know it’s a pathetic excuse. He’s my fiancé and he has come all the way. The decent thing would be to talk to him inside. And yet something inside me won’t let me do that.
I’m actually surprised that Mom and Dad didn’t come to the door. On my way to open it, I heard their voices inside their room. They have always been light sleepers.
He’s quiet for a moment, then he nods. “I see.” He looks down at the flowers in his hands. “I brought you these.” He places the rather heavy bouquet in my arms. The scent of white roses, the same scent that normally wafts around his penthouse, doesn’t do anything for me.
He bends down to kiss me on the lips. As usual, like a switch being flicked on, butterflies flutter in my belly. My body never lets him down.
“Thanks.” I look past him at the stretch limousine. Why would he choose to drive a limo in Misty Cove, for God’s sake? Beyond the car, the curtains on the opposite side of the road are already ruffling, soft yellow light glowing behind them. We will be the talk of town tomorrow. I’m pretty sure the local paper will have a photo of the limo splashed across its cover. Gary from the magazine stand is sure to have another great business day or week.
“I have a feeling that’s not all you came here for. You traveled all this way.”
He takes my free hand. “Since you refuse to ask me in—”
“I didn’t refuse, Winston...I told you—”
“I know what you told me. In that case let’s talk in the limo.”
If he didn’t give me flowers, I would have thought he had come to break up with me because the look in his eyes right now is cool. The only time I saw that tight expression on his face was when he turned on his brother at the restaurant.
“Yes, okay.” I follow him to the car and allow the driver to open the door. I slide in and Winston follows me. The scent of roses mingles with leather and a hint of champagne. A half empty bottle is resting in a silver ice bucket.
As soon as we settle down, Winston closes the dark screen between us and the driver and turns to me. “I came here because I missed you. I called you all day and you wouldn’t answer or return my calls.”
I lower my eyelashes to hide the lies about to cross my lips. “I was busy. I also kept forgetting my phone when I went out.” None of my words are true. The only people I got to see so far are my family and one or two friends. When I went out for milkshakes with Heather, I had left my phone at home on purpose. I had seen his cal
ls come in. I’d watched some of them until they died. I’d chosen not to return them.
“You said you wanted to be back in New York yesterday. I was calling to ask you if I should send you the plane.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I know my way back.”
He places a warm hand on my cheek. “I know you do, baby, but you’re my fiancée. I can’t let you use public transport.”
“And why not? What’s wrong with taking the bus or train?”
He shoves a hand through his hair. “You don’t get the enormity of you becoming a part of my life, do you? You are in the public eye now. People are watching you. The press will soon be chasing you around town. You can’t do the same old things you did before we got engaged.” He rubs the side of his face. “The truth is, I missed you way too much.”
To my horror, he reaches out and pushes his hand into my nightgown, cupping my breast. “Remember when we made love at the back of my limo, the week we met?”
How could I forget? It was the most thrilling night of my life. He had invited me out to dinner, but we didn’t actually make it there. As soon as I entered the limo, he removed my clothes and went for what he wanted.
I hold my breath, refusing to be hypnotized by his touch. I place my hand over his and pull him away. “Winston, stop. We really need to talk about this.”
His jaw tightens as he pulls away and leans back in his seat. “You’re right. Let’s start with why you lied to me.”
I straighten my clothes. “What are you talking about? I didn’t lie to you.”
“You told me you’ll be back in New York on a specific day and you didn’t show up.”
“I changed my mind. I wanted to spend more time with my family.” That’s exactly the reason why I avoided his calls. Deep down I knew he wouldn’t like it if I told him about my change of plans. “I wanted to stay two more days.”
He places a hand on my thigh and his grip feels a little too tight. “You’re acting as if this is all about you. You are my fiancée now. Your decisions reflect on me. I had plans for us.”
“I’m sorry for not letting you know. And not returning your calls. I did send you a text.”
“You know I hate texts. You should have called. What’s going on here, Jenna? You’re acting a little strange.”
“I’m not the only one.” I place my hand over his. “What’s happening to us? Since we got engaged we fight all the time.”
“We don’t have to.” He leans into me and kisses my neck before moving to my lips. He parts them and I let him in, my skin already starting to heat up.
Even though it’s damn hard, even though I’d rather give in to him, and allow him to seduce me, I can no longer hide the fact we have a problem and if we don’t solve it, our relationship could be in trouble. It takes all my willpower to pull away. I lower the flowers onto the seat and cup his face with my hands. “I love you. You know that, right? And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Then why do I get the feeling you’re pulling away from me?”
I let out a breath and drop my hand. “To be honest, I feel overwhelmed. Everything is moving a little too fast.”
I remember what Heather had suggested to me over milkshakes, that we might need a bit more time to get to know each other before we take the leap into a marriage. But what would be the consequences of telling him that?
“Then why did you agree to marry me? I thought we wanted the same thing.”
“Of course we do.” The sparkling ring on my finger catches my attention. It feels a little too tight now.
“Then stop questioning things and let’s get married.” He places his hand under my chin and makes me look at him. “I’m not letting you go. I love you too much. Stay another day here if you like, then I want you to come back to New York so we can plan our wedding.”
Chapter Sixteen
I’ve been back in New York for less than two hours. It feels as though I was away for longer than five days.
When I entered my tiny apartment, the air trapped inside was tainted by the nail polish remover I had used before I left, and clothes hung from furniture.
I fling the windows open first to allow fresh air to enter, then hang the clothes in my secret closet, which is tucked into the wall and concealed by a full-length mirror that also serves as a door. It’s the perfect solution for a small apartment.
The doorbell rings as I close the mirrored closet door. I’m not expecting any friends and Winston had mentioned he’d be tied up in meetings all day.
After the way things ended when he showed up in Misty Cove two days ago, it was kind of a relief not to see him immediately when I got back.
We did talk over the phone after he returned to New York, but our conversations were short and strained.
We should be happy, in love, and enjoying our engagement. But I can’t get myself to get excited anymore.
The person ringing the bell is Sonia Thompson, a nice secretary from the Slade finance department. We used to hang out when I worked there.
I buzz her in, excited to see her again. I haven’t seen her since I left the company.
At the distant ding of the elevator, I open the door and wait for her in my doorway. The moment she emerges from the long, narrow hallway, I light up.
She’s one of those people who never seem to experience a bad mood, and I think she’s cute. Her small frame and pixie cut always remind me of a fairy.
She’s carrying a bottle of champagne, which she raises in the air the closer she comes to the door. When she gets to me, she gives me a hug. She smells like fresh laundry.
“Hey, what a lovely surprise.” I break the embrace and let her in. “Why aren’t you at the office? It’s only eleven.”
“I had a doctor’s appointment.” She drops her jeans handbag on a chair by the door.
“Are you not feeling well?” I close the door.
“Actually, I only needed a doctor’s note. I’m pretending to be sick.” A hand flies to her mouth. “Oh shit. I forgot you’re the boss’s fiancée.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry about it. I’m still Jenna. Nothing has changed. I won’t breathe a word to anyone.”
“Thanks for that.” She winks.
As I watch her, I realize the words I told her didn’t feel right on my tongue. I wish it were true that I’m not changing, but I kind of am.
Every time I’m in Winston’s presence, a part of me seems to disappear. I’m afraid I’m becoming someone else, someone I don’t want to be.
I wave a hand to the living room couch. “Have a seat. Should I bring you something to drink?”
“Just bring two champagne glasses. I came to celebrate with you.” She hugs the bottle to her body.
“To celebrate what?” I smack my forehead. “Oh, my engagement?”
“Of course, silly.” She flashes me her pearly whites.
The last thing I want to talk about is the wedding, and I have a feeling she’s going to want all the details.
After the fight with Winston, he’s also the last person I want to think about. That’s why I told him I will not be able to see him today. What I didn’t say is that I need the time alone to decide exactly what I want.
It’s not that I don’t want to marry him, I still do, but it might be a good idea for us to have a long engagement in order to sort out our differences. Right now I feel like I’m engaged to a stranger.
“You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you about him, are you?” I stride to the kitchenette and remove two champagne flutes from the top cupboard. I place them on the coffee table in front of Sonia.
“Of course I was a little upset that you didn’t feel you could confide in me. According to the papers you’ve been seeing each other for a few months.”
I sink onto the couch next to her. “I’m sorry.” I chew the corner of my lip. “I really wanted to tell you. I didn’t even tell my sister. Winston wanted it to be kept a secret.”
“Don’t apologize. I can understan
d why he felt the need to keep his love life secret. He’s not just anybody.” She crosses her slim legs. “The question is, why don’t you look excited? Is something wrong?”
“Of course not.” I plaster on a smile. “I’m a little tired, that’s all. I’ve been away for a while. I’m sure you can tell from the state of this place. We were in the Maldives and then in Misty Cove.”
“The Maldives? Wow, I’m so jealous.” She grabs my arm. “That must have been romantic.”
“It...yeah, it was.”
“Your family really didn’t know you were seeing him, before you got engaged?”
I shake my head. “No one did. We kept it just between us.”
“How did they react to the good news?” Sonia pops the bottle of champagne open, her eyes still on my face.
“My parents are super excited. You’d think they’re the ones marrying him.”
“It must’ve been hard keeping the yummy secret to yourself, especially since you’re dating one of the most eligible bachelors in the world.”
“It was tough. I’m not good at keeping things from my family. Especially my sister.”
“Anyway, that’s the past. Right now, I’m excited for you. You hit the jackpot, girl.” She nudges me with an elbow. “Now that the cat is out of the bag, you have to tell me how he is in bed. I want to know everything.” She pours champagne into our two glasses. “But first let’s drink some bubbly.”
I tap her glass with mine and take a sip. The liquid tap dances on my tongue before I swallow it down.
“I’m really happy you came over.”
Sonia touches my hand. “Of course. I wasn’t sure whether I should. I wanted to call you the whole time, but I wasn’t sure whether you would still want to hang out with me now that you’re engaged to the big boss.”
“That’s ridiculous. Of course we can still be friends. This doesn’t change anything.”
“Well, in a way it does. I can no longer complain to you about work.” When we were colleagues, we spent a lot of time complaining about our jobs.
Before Dark: Brothers after Dark Book 1 Page 10
