by Fields, MJ
“I’m sure,” she answers, pulling her feet up on the chair and resting her chin on her knees.
“Well, say something.”
“Did you get in trouble?”
I shake my head.
“Does she know he was being hurt?”
I shake my head again.
“Are you okay with what happened? Do you feel guilty?”
And this answer is where I find out if she’s going to run or not.
“Not one damn bit.”
She stares at me again. “Hey, Gage?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got some wicked feels for you, too.”
“I’m glad.”
We sit staring at each other, both trying to figure out what the other is thinking. My heart is banging so loud against my chest I am sure she can hear it, and she’s getting that look in her eyes.
I reach out to take her hand and, as soon as we touch, lips mash together, hands rub everywhere, and clothes start flying.
We fuck.
Lying on the floor, buck naked and panting, totally fucking exhausted, she curls up against me, and I pull her closer.
“I’m never leaving here,” she pants out.
“That’s good, ‘cause I’m never letting you go.”
I wake up to her staring at me.
“Morning,” I say.
“You’re scary sexy.”
I nod. “Only scary if you fuck with what’s mine or what I love.”
She nods and puts her hand down, resting her chin on it.
“You needn’t worry; you fall into that category.”
She smiles.
“You’re scary sexy, too,” I tell her.
“Only if you fuck with what’s mine or those I love.”
“Does that cover me?”
She nods, and now I smile.
“You do know, when a man tells you he could have killed someone and would do it again, that it should freak you the fuck out and not end in hot fucking sex on the floor, right?”
“Most men it would. Not you. You’re a better man.”
“You bet your ass I am. And you are one hell of a little woman.”
“You bet your ass I am.”
After making coffee, pancakes, and fucking in the shower, the date is officially over.
“So, how did I do?” I ask as we walk out of the cabin and I take her hand.
She laughs. “You’ll need to be more specific.”
“The date. I mean, I know it started out rough, but what did you think?”
She laughs and nods. “I want another date. Tonight.”
“You cook, and I’ll eat this time.”
“Deal.” She squeezes my hand.
As we get closer to the house, I see Brand. And when he sees me, he starts running full speed.
I stand still and watch him, his excitement, and the fucking love that boy has for me, knowing damn well that, soon, really fucking soon, I’m going to be the one to tear his world apart.
Phoenix drops my hand when he gets closer and smiles. “Get your boy, Gage.”
I squat a little, and he jumps into my arms. Then he nuzzles his face into my neck and whispers, “I missed you, Dad.”
“Missed you, little man.”
I hold him a little tighter for a little longer than normal before letting him down.
“Hey, Phoenix,” he says with a wave as I pull him against my side, continuing toward the house.
“Morning, Brand,” she says like they are best buddies.
“Wanna go fishing again today?”
“Maybe.” She smiles, and I laugh.
“What’s so funny, Dad?”
“She doesn’t like to fish,” I answer him honestly, like I always have.
“You don’t?” he asks, looking around me and at her.
“Nope. But I like you, so I can try it again.”
“Cool,” he says then leans into me. “I like her, Dad.”
“I’m glad you do. She’s gonna be here for a very long time.”
“Like, forever?”
Damn kids have no filter.
“Like, a really long, long time.”
He grins up at me, and I see the spot his tooth used to be.
“Can’t believe you lost a tooth without me.”
“Can’t believe you found a girlfriend without me,” he says with a smile.
He looks past me and points. “Who’s that in the field, Dad?”
I look over and see Garrett and Grayson walking toward the house.
“That’s my brothers,” I tell him.
“Both of them?” he gasps.
“Yeah, bud, both of them.” I try really hard to smile.
When Phoenix squeezes my hand, I look over at her.
“Can I go see them?” Brand asks, letting go of my hand and already heading in that direction.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “Go ahead.”
Arms wrap around my waist and nearly black eyes look up at me. “You’re a good man, Gage Falcon.”
I nod. “I fucking hope I’m doing it right.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
You Good?
Phoenix
Seeing hurt in his eyes causes me to hurt, too. I wrap my arm around his waist as he sends a text message. Then he looks down.
“You good?”
I nod.
He looks back at his phone when it dings and takes a deep breath.
“You good?” I ask him.
“You here?”
“Yep.”
“Then yeah, I’m good.”
“If I wasn’t here, you’d still be good,” I tell him.
He gives me a slight smile. “Okay then, I’m better.” He leans down, and I kiss his sexy lips.
In the distance, I hear laughter and look past him to see Mags on her wheels, trucking toward us.
When I laugh, Gage winks at me then smiles. “You may have just made her year.”
“Is that so?”
“That woman loves me.”
“She loves me, too.”
“She knows good people, squirt.”
“That nickname...” I make a face as I shake my head.
“Suits you. It stays.”
Mags stops a foot from us. “Good morning, my boy, my girl. How was the date?”
“Best one ever.” He smiles as he squeezes my arm before walking toward her. He bends down and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “You and Phoenix think you can take Brand on some adventure, maybe pick some berries.” He looks back at me and winks again.
Berries? Oh no, he didn’t.
“Sounds like a good idea,” she says, looking at him the same way Brand does—endearingly. “I want you to remember when you go in there who you are, Gage. And I want you to do the right thing.”
“I’ll do what needs to be done for Brand...and for Garrett.”
“You’re forgiving Garrett,” she reminds him.
He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. The look is telling. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what broke these men so many years ago, and he doesn’t want her to.
If I ever needed validation as to how much he trusts me, wants me, wants me for...as he told Brand a long, long time, I just received it. He trusts her so much more than anyone in his life, so he must trust me, maybe even more.
I smile inside and out as I watch Brand walking toward us with Grayson and Garrett.
Mags’ smile couldn’t possibly be any bigger than it is right now. She loves them as much as she does Gage.
“Come over here and give me some love,” she says as tears form in her eyes.
Grayson is first. He hugs her tight and closes his eyes. “Missed you, Mags.”
“I was right here, Gray,” she whispers.
“I know, Mags, I know.”
She pulls back and takes his face in her hands. “Don’t you leave us again.”
He nods and steps back.
Garrett steps to her. “Mags.” He holds out his hand, and she grabs it
and pulls him forward into a hug.
“You here to stay?”
“Yeah,” he says, trying to hold the expressionless look. She pulls back and holds his face, and he pushes against it. “Fuck.”
“Welcome home.” She smiles, tears rolling down her face. “Welcome home.”
He nods.
“It’ll get easier,” she tells him as he wipes her tears away.
He nods again.
“He’s beautiful.”
His face scrunches up, and he swallows hard.
“You are stronger than you think.”
He swallows again and nods.
“I love you, Garrett Falcon.”
He clears his throat. “Love you, too, Mags.”
“Why’s everyone so sad?” Brand asks me.
“That’s love, buddy, that’s love.” I wrap my arm around him.
He nods. “I thought so, too.”
“You wanna pick berries and give them all a chance to talk?”
“I’ll come, too,” Mags pipes in with a laugh.
“How about you stay with your boys?” I ask.
Gage looks at me and whispers, “You sure?”
Brand laughs. “She’s sure. Come on. I’ll race you to the barn to get the buckets.”
I look at Gage and nod. “We’ll be fine.”
Two hours later, Brand and I walk into my cabin with four buckets of wild blackberries. I told him that we should hide some here so Mags didn’t make them all into jam. He agreed.
As we wash the berries, Gage walks in. He looks like hell, his eyes a mask of emotion.
“Busted,” Brand says as he puts some of the washed blackberries into a bowl.
I laugh, trying to keep him from seeing the look on Gage’s face.
“Hey, bud, you’re gonna stay here,” he begins.
“Yes!” he throws a victory fist in the air.
“We need to get down to the house to say goodbye to Grandma. She’s heading back to the beach.”
“And Mom?” he asks.
“I think she’s gonna stay for a couple days.”
“Will you be staying, or am I gonna be here with Mags and Phoenix?”
“I’m going to hang out.”
“What about our company?” he asks like a little adult worried about business.
“I can work in my office,” he tells him, looking at me.
“But, can we still go to the city, too?”
“I’m sure we can find the time,” he says, gripping his shoulder. “Let’s go say goodbye.”
Brand looks at me. “You coming?”
“No, bud, I’m going to stay here and hide some of these berries.” I smile and give him a wink.
Gage leans over and kisses my cheek. “See you soon?”
I hold up my berry stained hands and smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He nods. “Good.”
When they leave, I decide to text my parents. It’s been our form of communication since I can remember.
- Hi, it’s Phoenix. Everything from the storm is being cleaned up and it looks like I’ll be back to work in a week or so.
- You need any money?
I don’t know why, but it makes me laugh. Money to them is everything. I understand why. It affords them opportunities they didn’t have being second generation Americans. But what they are missing, what they missed when my grandmother was alive, is the best part of life, the things money can’t buy. Picking wild berries, trying to form strong relationships, and even taking the time to fish.
- Better than good. I love it here.
- Okay. Proud of you. Family vacation?
I reply with something they will understand.
- Sorry, I’ll miss it, but I have to work.
- We come visit?
Oh hell, I think and laugh, but it’s also shocking that they would even make the time.
- Let me see when I’m available. Text later.
I decide to call Mandee next. It’s been a few days since I have talked to her.
“Hey!” she says, a smile evident in her voice.
“Hi. What’s the word on the bar?” I ask.
“Another week, maybe two,” she answers. “You have two paychecks here. Maybe you could stop and get them?”
“What? I haven’t even worked.”
“Dad said something about unemployment.”
“But—”
“Hey, don’t ask questions, just come get them.” She laughs. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” I tell her as I place the last of the hidden berries that are in the sealed container in the refrigerator.
“So, you know I’m going to ask...” she starts.
“Ask what?” I laugh, and so does she. “Go ahead.”
“So, do you like him? Do you think you can maybe let down your guard and let him like you back? Show him who you are?”
“I like him. I’ve shown him who I am, and he hasn’t run.”
“Oh, Phoenix, I am so happy for you. So, has he taken you on a date?”
I hold back from telling her the truth about the “date,” and answer, “Yep, he even sent flowers before the date.”
“That is so amazing. Tell me all about it,” she says in a whimsical voice.
“It was typical of him and I, I suppose. But it ended with, well, as immature as this sounds, I have a boyfriend.” I can’t help laughing.
“A boyfriend?” She laughs, too. “Gage Falcon is no boy. He’s a man.”
“Okay, well, I have a man-friend.”
“And does that mean...?” She leaves the question hanging.
“I’m gonna stick around.”
The whole cabin echoes her shrieks.
“Good thing you’re on speakerphone.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy.” She laughs.
“Well, now me and all the woodland creatures know that,” I joke.
“It’s perfect, actually. And I need a favor,” she whispers.
“What can I do for you?”
“Blue has been coming around a lot. He’s been helping Dad out, and well, he asked me on a date.”
“So go,” I say, remembering he was the one fuck-boy I didn’t want to punch.
“I want to, I really do. But, well, you know, Dad is going to have a problem with it after...well, after what happened in college.”
The day I met Mandee, I was at a fraternity party with the second boy in my life who told me he loved me and I believed him. I saw a girl who appeared drunk, in a corner with three disgusting excuses for human beings groping her and taking pictures. By chance, our eyes met, and she could barely keep hers open. I knew that, even if she wanted to fight them off, she couldn’t. I knew if that was me and I had drunk too much, I certainly wouldn’t want pictures on a bunch of assholes’ phones.
I pulled away from Derek and pushed myself through the crowd, just watching what was happening to her. Then I pushed myself through them.
The first guy I got my hands on pushed me. It was the first time in my life someone had put their hands on me.
I looked back to see Derek shaking his head at me and laughing. Fucking laughing!
Something came over me, something I had never felt...rage.
I grabbed the asshole’s phone, threw it on the ground, and smashed it under my boot. He shoved me, and I fell to the ground. Then I jumped back up, and he came at me. That was the first time I ever punched someone in the face.
It felt so damn good.
I went through the other two in the same fashion, throwing phones and swinging. Then and only then did some of the others step in. I grabbed Mandee and got out of there.
The thing about broken phones, they still have pictures and videos. The thing about wanna be men whose egos are bruised and whose pockets are deep, they can make even the most innocent out to be monsters.
If I was a glass half-full kind of girl, I would be able to say that, because of that horrible situation, I met my best friend, and because of her, I met a man
, a real man.
“Okay,” I tell her.
“Are you sure?” she asks, shocked.
“One hundred percent sure.”
“Thank you, Phoenix! Thank you so much.”
When there is a knock at the door, I end the call.
“Come in,” I yell as I wash my hands then towel them off. “You don’t have to knock.” I turn to see Juliana in the doorway. “Well, you do.”
“You and I need to talk,” she says, looking around the room full of flowers.
“I’m not sure it’s necessary,” I tell her as I pour myself a cup of coffee, considering grabbing Mags’ shine instead.
She sits at the table and looks around, still eyeing the flowers. Then she finally looks back at me. “I’ll take a cup.”
“I’m not offering,” I tell her as I stand as tall as I can.
I wait for her to leave, and she just sits there.
“I have nothing to say to you. I have not one damn thing to say, so you can leave or I can make you.”
“You may not have anything to say to me, but as Brandon’s mother, I have a few things to say to you. And apparently, you’ve dug your feet so deep in the ground here, you’re gonna plant roots.” She pulls a rose out of the vase and smells it.
She waits for me to say something. I don’t.
“I was in a very unfortunate position,” she begins, and I hold back a laugh. “I was pregnant with a boy I”—she stops—“with Garrett’s child, and he was in no shape or position to help me raise him, and I knew there was no way I could do it alone.”
“Did you even try?” I spit out in anger.
She doesn’t answer my question. She just continues. “Gage happened to be there the night I told him, and while Garrett was fucked up and flipping out, Gage stepped in and dragged me out of there. At that moment, I knew what I had to do. I knew what I needed in order to make things okay for my child, and for”—she pauses again and swallows hard—“Garrett.”
“And you. Let’s not forget about how tricking Gage into believing he got you pregnant made life a hell of a lot easier for you.”
She looks at me with anger in her eyes. “My child was raised the way he deserved to be and with his family, his biological family.”
“I’ve only known him for a month, and I know damn well, had you told him the truth, he would have still raised that little boy,” I say as I feel my hands shake in anger.
“Maybe, maybe not.” She shrugs.
“God, you’re a bitch, a self-serving bitch.”
