by Fields, MJ
“To tell Garrett we gotta build something fast.”
“No water,” he says to him.
“I know, Dad, I know.”
Gage looks at me as he leans against the nearest tree. “Mags said you’re making lists.”
I hold up the pad. “That I am.”
“Wanna add something for me?”
“Sure.” I pull the pen out of my pocket and get ready to write.
“Add: my man, Gage Falcon, isn’t gonna change his mind because shit’s messed up with one part of his life. Add: he told you he loves you, told you he knew that really quick, and that he never says that shit, not to anyone.”
“Anyone?”
“One chick in high school, because I wanted to fuck her. Then I wanted to keep fucking her.”
I frown.
“I already fucked you. This ain’t high school. This is grownup reality. This is you and this is me. Now add to that list: we need six cabins ready. Your parents just booked.”
“What?” I gasp.
“I’ll go slower, but if you’re gonna work for me, you’re gonna need to keep up.”
I can’t help laughing, and he does, too.
“I love you, Phoenix Star, regardless of circumstance.”
I nod and smile. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Wide Open Spaces
Gage
For a week, we bust ass to get the cabins ready. While Mags and Phoenix work on furnishing the cabins, Garrett, Brand and I build that playset. It’s bigger than I hoped it was going to be, but the more we start settling into a routine, the more swings end up being added.
Phoenix never argues the fact that condoms became a thing of the...recent past, and I didn’t have any problem releasing my cum on her ass, her tits, or in that sexy as fuck mouth of hers. One thing for sure was: she and I, we were fucking equals in many ways.
She was a little ass buster, not afraid to work. Liked it, actually. Same as me. In bed, nothing was off limits, and both of us made sure the other was more than satisfied.
When I think back to just a few weeks ago, it was always odd seeing other couples hold hands, kiss, hug, and simply want to be around one another. Hell, I had never experienced it, always thought it was fucked up, and assumed the man was kissing ass so he could get off later. I was fucking wrong. There is no one I would rather be around than her. She is life intensified.
All the turmoil I thought I was bringing to Falcon’s Landing wasn’t so fucking bad. Still hurts, but I have my brothers and Mags here, just like the yesteryears.
Brand, my little man, is showing less and less confusion because of the situation and is a fuck of a lot happier than he has been in the past few years. He is the damn star of the show here. Every kid deserves to be that in their home, and this is his home.
Phoenix Star, the piss-pot who hated men, gave me a run for my money, pushed me away, not knowing that was making me fight to get closer to her, is nothing short of remarkable. Like Brand, I want to make damn sure she is happy. And like Brand, I want to make sure she is happy forever. I owe her so damn much and she doesn’t even know it, nor does she expect it.
Watching Brand and Garrett together is hard. Harder is seeing Juliana try to be the mother she should have been to begin with. But at least she is trying. Garrett, he is annoyed when she’s around, until Mags told him that, if Brand is good with accepting him, then he should try to do the same for her. They are both a few years late, but Brand had a damn good role model all those years they were absent.
I saw the look in his eyes when she said it. He was pissed, but she stood toe to toe, and eye to eye with him, me not far away, and he nodded, kissed her gray hair, and then walked away. He accepted what she said, though he didn’t like it much. But as they say, the truth...it sometimes hurts.
Gray, he is around, too. Quieter than he was when he first came to the city, but that’s always been like Grayson—never too close, but never too far away, and wherever he is, that damn guitar is nearby.
He is even trying to teach Brand how to play.
“It’s reveal day,” Mags says when I walk out of my office.
“I finally get to see?” I ask.
She smiles. “Of course, my boy.”
She and I walk out onto the porch, seeing Brand run from down the dirt road, where he has been checking things out with Phoenix.
“Dad, Gage, Dad,” he says, coming to a quick stop at my feet.
I am getting used to this. I know when he goes back and forth like this that Garrett is probably in earshot.
“They look awesome. The Steels are gonna love camping!”
I almost laugh. The thought of them camping is definitely comical. Fortunately for them, these cabins are a hell of a lot more comfortable than a tent. Still, it’s far from the city, the shore, the boardwalk, or the homes they are accustomed to living in. It’s so much better than any of those places.
I love sleeping at Phoenix’s place, love the simplicity in it, but someday soon, she will be staying at my place, living in my place. Someday soon, it will be our place.
Why the fucking rush? I have asked myself that question a million times, and the answer remains the same: it feels right.
For now, while Brand is getting used to all the changes, this is perfect...for more reasons than one.
We walk into cabin 7, where Phoenix’s parents will be staying. And no, they didn’t reserve shit. I invited them. She will probably be annoyed I overstepped, but here’s the thing: I have big fucking feet; I’m bound to overstep.
When I walk in and see her, there’s a feeling I get every damn time I see her. A feeling that’s somewhere between overwhelmed and comforted. Overwhelmed because I want her all the fucking time, and she looks at me the same fucking way. Overwhelmed because she’s not someone I feel a responsibility for...Well, not in a way that’s taxing.
Those words, those three words I spoke to her, carry responsibility that is of unmeasurable weight, yet it’s weightless. Fucked up, so fucked up, but so true.
Overwhelmed that I want everything with her, and I want it right fucking now. Overwhelmed because I know it messes with her, confuses her, makes her feel like, if she doesn’t cave to my demands—and yes, I’m a demanding motherfucker—she will let me down. She won’t. She can’t. I love her. I fucking love this little bit of a woman who is hell on wheels and in some ways bigger than me.
Comfort because I know what our life is going to be—never fucking boring, always challenging, and regardless of the challenge, in her five-foot nothing, which is everything, she will rise to it, same as me. And in that, in that drive, determination, strength, loyalty, passion for life and humanity, there is comfort that I have met my fucking soulmate and never have I believed in such a fucking thing. Not until her.
I have to look down, break eye contact, let her and Brand and Mags do their thing. They earned it.
“The kitchens have pots and pans, all the utensils, coffee pots, plates—everything they’ll need.” Phoenix’s eyes are bursting with excitement as she walks to one of the bedrooms. “The beds all have sheets, blankets, pillowcases, and the windows have curtains.”
The bedding is red and black flannel.
“I like it.”
“Right?” Brand agrees, hopping onto the bed. “And mattress covers. Don’t forget the mattress covers so no one gets cooties.”
Phoenix laughs at him as she rubs her hand back and forth over the top of his head, over his wavy mess of hair, and then grabs his hand, pulling him off the bed. “The bathroom.”
“Yeah, Dad, Gage”—he laughs and looks around—“Dad, the shower curtains match the comforters!”
“That’s cool, little man.” I smile as he grabs my hand and drags me behind him as Phoenix drags him behind her.
I look back and Mags, who is smiling softly. She winks and nods for me to go with them. Not like it’s a very long road to travel. Hell, it’s steps.
After going through all the cab
ins, all the same, we walk toward the house. Next on Phoenix’s list of shit that needs to be done is to print out a reference sheet of local restaurants, shops, places of interest for people who stay here to have at their disposal.
I have Brand’s hand in mine, Phoenix holding his hand on his other side, and Mags in her electric scooter on my opposite side, traveling together down that dirt road toward the big house.
I remember the vision in my head when I decided to build this place. It was to be a getaway, a place to be one with nature, a place for Brand to grow, and to do it without the outside world’s noise, a place to be.
When things got fucked up, when Juliana wanted back in his life, we didn’t spend time here. The dream was covered in shit. It’s beauty gone.
Hard to believe that, in the midst of even deeper shit to wade through, those colors I dreamed of, those vivid, living, vibrant colors are now shining bright enough to let me see that dream again, and more vividly.
I have found my way back to what brought me here: comfort, peace...life.
I look over to see Phoenix looking at me and smiling. I smile back. I smile because, when I dreamed of this place, I never imagined it could be what it is. It’s not a place to be or become; it’s a place to live, truly live.
I mouth “I love you” to her, and she mouths it back.
I hear Mags giggle and look over at her.
“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it, my boy?”
I nod. “Yeah, Mags, it sure is.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
July 4th
Phoenix
I stand on the porch, where Gage is leaning against one of the log pillars, a piece of wheat hanging out of his mouth, watching me pace and smiling.
I stop and put my hands on my hips. “How can you be so...so...?”
“Calm?” he asks, pushing himself off the pillar and walking toward me.
The way he looks at me...God, the way he looks at me, the way he walks toward me, the way he is...him, sets me on fire immediately.
He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me until we are eye to eye.
“I’m looking at you, I’m surrounded by people who mean something to me, in a place I love; how can I not be?”
“They’re coming,” I remind him.
He nods and starts to walk down the steps of the porch.
“Where are you taking us?”
“Somewhere we can be alone,” he says, pressing his lips upon mine.
“No way.” I raise a brow, wordlessly telling him I’m serious, and he laughs.
I look behind me and see dust kicking up. “Someone’s here.”
I wiggle out of his arms, which is so messed up because it’s exactly where I want to be, but can’t because...people.
He laughs and pulls me against him, arm wrapped tightly around me.
“Who is it?” I ask.
“My brothers from a much nicer mother,” he says with a smile in his voice.
My stomach knots up, and I hold my hand against it.
He gives me a squeeze. “You okay?”
“What if they hate me?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I groan and cover my face.
“They’ll love you. But answer me this question.” His brows furrow as he looks at me.
“What?”
“Why do you give a damn?”
“They’re your friends,” I answer.
“So trust me that they’ll love you.”
“You are such a guy,” I groan.
“Yeah.” He grins. “Your guy, so chill, squirt.”
I take a deep breath and watch as five large, black SUVs pull down the dirt road, one after the other. They follow the circular drive in front of the house, the first stopping in front of us. Then the driver’s side door opens and a man, tall, dark, handsome, tattooed, and wearing a straw cowboy hat, hops out.
“Giddy-fucking-up.” He rounds the vehicle, smiling from ear-to-ear and opens the door, holding out his hand. “Come on, kitten; we’re here.”
Gage leans in and whispers, “Zandor and his wife Bekah.”
I see her belly before I see her. She’s stunning and pregnant. Very, very pregnant.
The next vehicle’s driver side door opens, and I swear they all look alike, except this one has on a backward Yankee’s baseball hat.
He opens the passenger door, saying, “Irish, see that lake over there?”
“Yep,” she says, hopping out with one hand over her red baseball hat.
“That’s where the Red Sox hats are gonna end up.” He smacks her ass then opens the back door. “Come on, Patrick.”
I look up at Gage.
“Xavier, Taelyn, and their boy,” he fills me in.
Xavier turns around and stands with his back to the open door as a little boy gets out. He’s wearing a Yankees hat and a Red Sox tee-shirt with little khaki shorts and chucks on his feet.
At the next car, a man with a short crewcut, covered in ink, and dark aviators on walks around and opens the passenger door.
“Cyrus and Tara,” Gage whispers.
He helps her out, smiling down at her, and then kisses the top of her head before opening the back door. When he steps back, he has a child in each arm.
“Their kids, Truth and Justice.” He points to the next door opening. “Jase, Carly, Little Bell, and Kiki.”
I notice she’s pregnant as well. “And her belly.”
He gives a quick nod. “Yeah.”
The driver’s side door opens on the next vehicle in line.
“Do you think you could let me open your damn door, Kat?” the most heavily tattooed man complains as he walks around the vehicle.
Kat holds up her hands. “Last I checked, I have two hands. I’m perfectly capable.”
He shakes his head and starts to open the back door, but she beats him to it.
“Quicker than you, too.”
A little girl jumps out with a unicorn stuffed animal almost as big as her in her arms, and then she runs toward the oldest girl, who I think is Little Bell.
I look back to see Kat is over Ricco’s shoulder, kicking wildly, and he’s laughing as he swats her ass. At that, she stops kicking. I can’t see her face, but his is full of amusement and mischief.
Brand and Mags come out of the house just in time. Brand stands right next to me, looking up at me. “I don’t remember all of these kids.”
Gage nods. “You will, little man.”
He blows out a breath then sees Mags holding out a basket toward him.
“You want to give them their keys?” she asks.
“Not really,” he says quietly, but takes it from her, anyway.
“This fucking—” Zandor starts, and his wife nudges him. “This place is tits,” he amends.
She rolls her eyes and sticks out her hand to me. “I’m Bekah Steel. You must be Phoenix.”
I shake her hand and nod. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice, man,” Zandor says, giving Gage a bro hug.
“I know,” Gage says with a nod. Then he looks over at me, and I roll my eyes.
When Ricco drops Kat to her feet in front of us, she shakes her head and mutters, “Dick.”
“You like it,” he says.
She shrugs. “So?”
“Hi, I’m Phoenix,” I say, sticking out my hand.
She looks at it, and Ricco nudges her. “Kat,” she introduces herself. “Is there wine somewhere?”
I laugh and nod. “Long trip?”
She shakes her head. “I’m in the country. If I’m going to survive this, I’m going to need wine.”
“Mags,” Gage begins, “Kat needs some wine. Not sure we have any. Maybe you could give her some shine?”
“Shine?” Kat asks.
“Proceed with caution.” I laugh as Mags grabs her hand.
I look over to see Brand is handing out keys to the men. The little girl, Kiki, is following him around. I watch him glance at the one Gage called Little Bell, and his face reddens when she smiles
at him. I then look at Gage, who is talking to Zandor about Falcon’s Landing.
Gage
“This place is fucking amazing, man,” Zandor says, looking around.
“Thanks,” I return, looking toward my brothers in the distant field, building that damn fence.
“Gray and Garrett?” he asks, following my gaze.
I nod.
“How’s that all going?” He nods toward them.
“Better than expected,” I say honestly.
“And the little man? When will you—”
“Already knows. Walked in on an adult conversation, asked an adult question, and I couldn’t lie to him.”
Zandor nods toward Brand. “Looks like he’s doing good.”
“Hell of a lot better than I expected,” I say, looking in the same direction.
“And you?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I answer, watching Phoenix as she talks to the Steel women while handing out drinks, glancing back at me every once in a while.
“She’s a hot, little—”
“Watch it.” I shoot him a look.
He laughs. “You do know I’m married? Got a kid on the way?”
Feeling a little like a dick, I nod.
“I get it. You’ve claimed it, and now you gotta protect it.”
“Protect it? I wanna either lock it up or knock it up. Sometimes both.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “Welcome to the club, man.”
I look at him. We grew up together. He and I fucking partied together, swapped ass, and gave little to no shits about anything else but family, baseball, and the next fucking challenge.
“What the hell happened to us?” I almost laugh.
“They did.” He nods toward where Bekah and Phoenix are standing and talking.
“They sure as fuck did.” I shake my head. “Let’s get you all settled, and then you can all feel free to explore. Around six, let’s all meet for dinner down by the lake.”
Phoenix
When they are all settled and Brand is off in the field with who I now know is Bella, Jase and Carly’s daughter, showing her where someday soon he will have a horse, Gage and I walk down the road toward the house.
“You good?”
