by Fields, MJ
Chewing on my nails for a few seconds, I decide on whether to go over and knock or not. I may have blacked out, but I know darn well what I agreed to...again.
I hurry to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Then I see my phone plugged into the wall and look at the time. It’s one in the morning. Do I really care what I look like? I mean, I threw up on his feet and he said such hot, sexy things even after that.
I grab my bag, pull out my toothbrush, and brush my teeth. Then I primp, just a little, very little, because I want so badly to make sure tonight doesn’t end...tonight.
Fortunately, my toiletry bag made it here. Unfortunately, my overnight bag is missing, which gives me few options of what to wear. Very few. Phoenix is tiny. I am not.
Digging through her closet, I find a Falcon Construction tee-shirt that thankfully wasn’t her size and throw it on over nothing, because I have no bra. It hangs off me like a dress, so I knot and tie it at the side. Then I grab a maxi skirt I have seen her wear before, so I know it’s not form-fitting. Plus, it’s cotton.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, I inspect myself. I certainly don’t look wonderful, but I look okay. I’m sure I will look even better in the dark.
I consider putting on my underwear, but the fact that he hates black and...ew, I wore them all night, I choose not to. Therefore, I just shove my feet in the only option available—my cowgirl boots—and head out.
With each step, I think of all the things my mother told me I need to do to be the best woman I can be.
Be brave, be bold, be beautiful, because you are, I tell myself as I picture her. Don’t let opportunities pass by, and if they do, never give up hope that it won’t present itself. When it does, take it.
Standing at the door, filled with courage and thoughts of my mother, I knock. A few moments later, I knock louder. A few more moments, I open the door and walk right in.
I hold my head high and walk into the dark bedroom, but it’s empty.
When I walk back out, I notice my bag, and as I bend down to grab it, I hear his voice.
“I fucking know. I’ve always fucking known. You may be able to lie to her, but you can’t lie to me, old man.”
“You’ll give me the respect I deserve and keep your mouth shut,” the man hisses. He has a slight accent. It’s his father.
I feel horrible that I am overhearing something I shouldn’t, but I have no idea what to do. Do I leave, stay, hide?
“You named your guitar after her?”
“It’s fucking Glory, not Gloria. Your English slipping, old man? Too much time spent with your other family in Portugal? How many kids do you and the man who raped your son’s daughter have now? Five? Ten?” Grayson slurs.
“You’re a stupid boy, Grayson. Stupid and weak. Always have been. Your brothers, they are growing up, moving on. You never will.”
“You fucking ruined the boy in me, but you will not break the man I am.”
“Man?” His father laughs. “Man?”
“I’m more man than you’ll ever fucking be. I keep this secret because the others nearly destroyed them. I keep this secret because I love them! That’s what a fucking man does.”
“Boys run and hide,” his father spits at him.
“Like you? You run, you hide. You leave a business in the hands of your adopted son to bear the burden while they all think you’re retired and traveling. Reality is, you’re not only running DeFalcon still, it’s supporting your other family. You’re no man. A man wouldn’t leave his son to struggle personally while professionally killing himself for you, you fucker, when all he really wants is to be here, to live.”
“That was your mother’s doing. She threatened to expose Alicia and my children to three boys who didn’t know up until they were forced to. She insisted I hide it from Gage and you two.”
“Sure she had a damn good reason,” Grayson snaps.
“You’re to keep your mouth shut. Your mother and I both think it’s best for all involved.”
Grayson’s laugh is filled with a mix of malice and pain. “Get the fuck out of here before I knock your ass down, old man.”
“So, you’ll leave this alone?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to face them if I do? I’m not like you, thank God.”
“You’ve known for years”—he laughs at Grayson—“yet you’ve said nothing.”
“I said nothing because she was free of you. I said nothing because they couldn’t handle it. I said nothing to protect them. And now I say nothing because they’re happy, finally fucking happy, and you...you come back! Fuck you, old man. I hope you rot in hell, because I think this is even more sick than you fucking an eighteen-year-old girl when you were married. I think that fuck who broke Garrett—her father—did it to hurt you. Your son paid for your sin and you did nothing?”
I want to go to him. I want to walk past him and beat that old man. I want to, but...Oh God, Grayson.
“That’s right, motherfucker. Walk away. Keep walking, too, and don’t look back because, when I do tell them, you’ll wish you were dead.”
I hear a crack then a groan. Then I hear footsteps.
Nervous he’s coming in, I look around for a place to hide, but I don’t want to hide. I want to tell him I am sorry, so sorry, yet I’m afraid he will push me away.
I will tell him I promise to keep this secret, too, and I will.
When the footsteps get farther away, I hurry to the window to see where he’s going. He’s walking down the driveway, the dirty road, toward Gage’s house.
I fight the fear of rejection, fear of pushing him away further. I made a promise to him that it was just sex. Now knowing he’s the man my mother sent, the man who, at my most desperate and hurt moment gave me hope, I want more than sex. I want to give him back what he gave me.
I stay far enough behind him that I can see where he’s going, following him, but also giving myself the ability to give in to fear and turn back.
When I see him stand on the edge of the dock, lighted by the moon, squat down and fist his hair in frustration and pain, I walk faster toward him, wanting to give him the same hope he has unknowingly given me for years. Then he stands, kicks off his boots, pulls off his shirt, and tosses it aside.
I stop when I see his beautiful, broad, muscular back as he bends then drops his pants and dives into the water. When he finally surfaces, I watch him swim farther and farther out.
I should go back, let him have this time, but what if this is the only second chance I get with him? Is it selfish? Maybe. But it certainly doesn’t feel that way.
It just feels right.
I bend and take off my boots. Then I pull the maxi skirt up, tie it just above my knees, and sit on the edge of the dock. I slowly put my feet in the water so not to disrupt it or take the calm it gives me when I know it’s healing ways are needed for him.
That beautiful man, Grayson Falcon.
As he floats closer and closer and I think he may see me, my instinct is to run, but something keeps me there.
When he stands in the water up to his chest, the moon’s light framing him, I am sure he sees me. Then, as he gets closer and closer, I see his eyes fixed on mine. He stops when he is a foot from me.
“You were passed out and your guard dog was outside your door. What are you doing down here?”
I should lie, but I want to be honest with him, so I tell him the truth.
“I woke up thirsty.” I hear that noise, a growl, escape his chest and have to refocus. “I told them to go, that I was fine. Then I went over to find you.”
“Why?”
I swallow back fear and find my brave. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”
His eyes leave mine, then rake down my body as I continue.
“I heard your fight,” I tell him.
He looks up again, and now his eyes look angry.
I continue, “I won’t tell.”
He huffs. “Because you want to fuck me.”
“Becaus
e, Grayson, before I wanted you, I wanted to be your friend. Now...now I want that even more.”
He scowls. “Because you pity me.”
I shake my head. “Because you sang to me and gave me hope. You sang ‘Halleluiah’ in the woods, on a day I was desolate. Because you sang Travis Tritt’s song, which gave me hope the day she died. Because you know my secrets, and I know you’ll keep them. And I know yours and want you to know I’ll do the same.”
He looks me over, no doubt trying to figure out if I’m being sincere.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I whisper.
“I want to fuck,” he says through his now clenched jaw. “You still up for that?”
I nod. “Yes, but if you want to talk first—”
“No,” he says, closing in on me, looking me over and rendering me unable to say a word. The way he looks at me is like no one ever has before.
He grabs my ankles then moves his hands up my legs slowly as he looks into my eyes. When he reaches my knees, I take in a quick breath. He moves his hands up my thighs, and I can’t breathe. Next, he moves them around and slides them under my ass, gripping it tightly.
“Fuck,” he groans.
When his hands leave me, I am almost embarrassed.
“I-I—”
I stop when he grips the hem of my shirt and lifts it up, exposing me completely. For a moment, I consider how he may not like the way I look.
“Fucking fuck,” he says as he cups my tits. “Damn, Mandee, fucking damn.”
“I’m...I’m—”
“So fucking beautiful,” he mumbles as he surrounds my breast with his mouth. He begins licking my nipple, tugging, groaning...
Beautiful. He’s beautiful, and he’s making me feel the same.
He has my other breast in his hand, his calloused thumb moving back and forth across it.
“Gray.” I nearly stutter his name as I tangle my hands in his thick, silky hair. “Oh, God.”
He sucks harder, causing me to push against his mouth and whimper when the heat caused by what he is doing spreads to my core.
“Christ,” he groans as he pulls on my nipple with his teeth then lets it fall from his mouth.
Before I can blink, he takes the other in his mouth while moving his hand down my body until it’s at my waist where he pulls the skirt down. I let go of his hair and place my hands on the dock, lifting myself so he can continue pulling it off.
When he steps back, my breast pops out of his mouth, and I grab them and squeeze because the near pain without his hands and mouth on them is unbearable.
“Jesus, Mandee, don’t stop doing that,” he groans out as he pushes my legs apart and kisses my thigh.
“You don’t have to...Oh, God,” I gasp, gripping the end of the dock as he splits me with his tongue, entering me while gripping my thighs and pulling them farther apart.
I don’t know how or when, but I am on my back, legs over Grayson Falcon’s shoulders, him squeezing my tits, pinching my nipples, licking, sucking, nibbling on my core. My hips move of their own accord. My voice...The sounds that escape me are not me, but they are, and I am hearing them for the first time.
I don’t care what I look like, what I sound like, because his hands are everywhere, squeezing, moving, touching me everywhere. His words...Oh, God. His words of pleasure, praise, and the noises he makes dance with mine in the dark, under the light of the moon, wild, passionate, and pleasure-filled. I am lost in it all, floating in feeling, my head spinning, and I am undeniably and totally wasted.
“Beautiful,” he groans as he licks up my body, pushing himself out of the water.
“Please don’t stop,” I beg, plead, speak words I have never spoken before.
“Just getting started,” he says as he stands then straddles me and takes off his boxers.
I sit up, wrap my hand around it, and then immediately take it in my mouth.
“Sweet thing, you do not have to—”
I suck hard, taking him in as deep as I can and making him hiss.
“Fuck yes.”
Chapter Fifteen
Secrets
Grayson
Looking down at her, my cock halfway in that beautiful mouth of hers, I want to stop her. She’s not some hookup, she’s not a place to fucking dump off a load. That girl, Mandee, for all intents and purposes, is my fucking first. I want to stop her, but I can’t make it happen. It feels too fucking good.
Her big, brown doe eyes are cloudier than ever before. She’s stoking what doesn’t fit in her mouth while licking and sucking what does. My fucking cock is a beautiful thing, but right now, it’s beyond beautiful. And she’s not sucking dick to impress me, to get me to fuck her. She’s sucking it in a way that I am damn sure is as hot to her as it is to me.
“Fuck yes.” I thrust forward, and she gags a bit. “Christ, I’m so—”
She takes me deeper and swallows.
I fist her hair and pull her back.
“Did I—”
“Don’t wanna blow it too fucking soon. You keep sucking me like that...that fucking amazing, and I’m not ready to stop yet. Don’t want to come on your face, Mandee,” I say as I kneel, one hand still fisted in her hair as I pull back to lie her down.
I’m straddling her, one hand full of cock, the other full of tit. I rub my head over her nipple, and she moans, biting her lip.
“Gonna fuck those tits,” I tell her, rocking my hips slowly, rubbing my dick against one.
She grabs her tits and holds them together nice and fucking tightly. “Like this?”
Her chest is rising and falling, her face is flush, her eyes...Christ, her eyes are almost lost in those clouds, and she seems just as lost.
“Grayson?”
“Yeah, fucking perfect.” I rub those lips with my thumb, and she slides her tongue across it then sucks on it. “Fuck.”
I rub my hands across her tits, and then pull my hand away from her mouth and lick it before rubbing my slickened hand up and down my cock. As I push it between her tits, she arches her back as I thrust up and down between them.
Reaching behind me with one hand, I rub a finger between her legs and push it inside her. The sound she releases calls for more, so I push another inside, and her pussy contracts around it while I fuck her tits with my cock and her pussy with my fingers. Her eyes flutter shut as she rocks against my hand and I rock against her sexy as fuck body.
When she holds her breath and stiffens, her eyes spring open, confusion amongst the clouds. When they widen and she begins to close her legs, I stop fucking those tits and focus on the task at hand...literally.
“Gray? Oh, no. Oh—”
“Come for me,” I demand, curling my fingers up inside her. “Come for me like I have for you over and over again.”
“Gray?” she cries, thighs clenching around my hand.
“I got you. I fucking got you,” I promise, watching her perfect as fuck face as she falls apart.
“Kiss!” she cries. “Kiss me, dammit!”
I lean in close, anticipating what it will be like to kiss those lips, take them in mine, suck on them, hear and taste her whimpers, her cries.
“Who’s out there?” I hear and look up.
“Fuck,” I mumble.
“Who is it?” she gasps.
“Fucking Gage,” I curse.
“Oh, my God,” she gasps. “Oh, my God, he’ll know our secrets.” She pushes me up then slides out from under me.
“Hey! Who’s out there?” Gage yells.
I stand up and immediately feel hands on my chest, right before my body hits the water.
When I come up gasping, I see her lowering herself off the dock.
“What the hell are you doing?” I whisper.
“Swim, Gray, swim,” she says, pushing me.
“No fucking sense in—”
“Go!”
“I asked who’s out there!”
I start to respond when she covers my mouth.
I pull it back. “You
kidding me right now?”
“This is...not what you...” She stops when we hear footsteps on the dock.
I can’t help laughing when I see her glare at me, right before she pushes herself back and under the overhang of the dock.
A light hits my face as I hear Gage ask, “What the fuck, man? Can’t you answer?”
I laugh harder. “You mind shining that somewhere else? You’re blinding me.”
He moves the light left and squats down. “Damn fool. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to swim alone at night, especially when you’ve been drinking all day? And why the fuck didn’t you answer me?”
“Think I’ve heard that before, but I’m not actually alone,” I tell Gage then feel what is a hand on my sac.
“No?” Gage asks, and that hand tightens.
“Nah, I’m never alone. Got company right now as a matter of fact.”
Her grip tightens on my balls. I move closer, rest one arm on the dock, and use the other to reach down and grab her hand.
“I think she’s angry at me. Got me by the balls and all.”
Gage laughs at the same time she gasps.
I take her hand, wrap it around my dick, and begin stroking.
“Thinking it’s a small mouth. Lake Hopatcong bass,” I say on a laugh.
“Too bad it wasn’t a wide mouth,” Gage jokes. “Teeth scrape and shit.”
“Your small mouth got a big mouth?” I ask, referring to Phoenix.
Mandee must get that because nails dig in a little.
“Perfect fucking everything, man,” he answers.
“Well, stop fucking around down here and go.”
“Good idea.” He nods as he stands. When he turns and begins to walk back up the dock, he turns his head left and his eyes stop on something, then he looks back. “You be really careful, man.”
“Always,” I tell him.
“Waters could be fucking treacherous if you don’t handle them well.” Then he turns and walks away.
“Always respect the lake!” I call after him.
When he’s off the dock and walking up the hill, I push back and pull her hand, still on my dick, toward me.
“You scratched my dick, hot lips,” I tell her, gripping her hip.
