by Fields, MJ
I look up and see an orange extension cord dangling slightly.
“I’ll get a ladder and get that out of—”
“No,” he says. “It stays.”
“Really?” I ask, looking at the damn thing.
“Definitely.” He nods and smiles.
With Mandee, Juliana, Mom, Mags, and Phoenix’s mother, Bopha, all in what Mandee calls “pampering mode,” I’m with my brothers, nephew, and Phoenix’s father, Arun.
Arun doesn’t stop asking questions, ever.
I laugh to myself.
Gage is doing a hell of a lot better than I expected with all the questions being fired at him.
When Arun stands up and announces he has to use the bathroom, I look at Gage.
“Shut up,” he whispers a hiss.
I smirk and look down at the beer in my hand.
“We gonna do s’mores?” Brand asks.
Both Garrett and Gage answer, “Sure.”
Gage nods to Garrett. “Get on it.”
“Yeah, Dad.” Brand chuckles. “Get on it.”
Garrett grabs him up and throws him over his shoulder. “Let’s go find some sticks.”
Brand laughs as they walk away.
Gage looks at me. “Can you sing tomorrow?”
Fuck, talk about last minute. Regardless, I nod. “Sure.”
“At the bar, after. Not here,” he says, leaning back against the picnic table. “ ‘Black.’ Derik’s Bentley.”
I laugh. “Yeah, not really a wedding song, huh?”
He shakes his head as he stands. “Good song, though, huh?”
“Damn good song.” I stand, following him down the dock where we look out over the lake.
He’s quiet. Really quiet.
“You good?” I ask.
He smirks. “Sick of talking.”
Knowing he’s talking about his father-in-law, I laugh. “He’s very chatty.”
Gage nods. “Good man, though. Works hard. Loves his girls.”
“I can tell.” I smile.
“I have an Arun, and you have a William.” He chuckles. “Both a fuck of a lot better than our piece of shit.”
“That’s for sure,” I say, looking out at the water.
I shrug and smile as I spot the raft floating in the distance. “Fuck if I ever admit to saying this, but if he wasn’t such a shitbag, we may not have ever been shipped here to get our shit together. Had that not happened, we’d have never fucking met them.”
The words hurt to say, to admit, but it’s the fucking truth.
We are both silent for a minute.
“Seize the moment,” Gage says on sigh. When he looks at me, I nod, and he nods back.
Chapter Five
Phoenix
I need a drink. The words scream in my head so loud I’m afraid everyone around me will hear it. Almost everyone knows I’m pregnant. Well, possibly everyone, except my parents
Is it awful that I don’t want her to know because I will feel like I have disappointed her?
Thinking it makes me feel almost like a child, but honestly, I just want her to enjoy her day. Okay, that sounds bitchy and bitter, but it’s really not.
Mandee and I discussed it this morning. The girl I thought would have the white horses and the ballgown doesn’t want any of it now. She just wants Gray.
I look up and smile at her as we are sitting, feet soaking in water and bath salts.
Seven of Mom’s employees are here to pamper us. Mom and I did fight about that. She wanted to do mine, Mandee’s, Juliana’s, Gail’s, Mags’, Carly’s, Bekah’s, Taelyn’s, Tara’s, and Kat’s pedicures and manicures the day before the wedding.
I look away from Mandee and at my mom, who is sitting next to me rather uncomfortably while someone pampers her.
“Not right,” she mutters, and I laugh.
She looks over at me, and I think of my grandmother who I miss dearly, who looks nearly identical to my mother. For the first time, I don’t look at her like she’s that mom, the one to push and damn near force you to try harder, do more, do better. She’s trying.
I reach over, take her hand, and smile. Her eyes mist over.
If I continue looking at her, I will cry, too, so I look back at Mandee.
She looks at my mother and our hands and smiles, so I take hers, too.
Her bottom lip plumps out, telling me she’s missing her mother.
I lean closer and whisper, “You can share mine.”
She leans over and rests her head on my shoulder.
“Plus, you’ll have Mags and Gail,” I whisper, resting my head on hers. “And me.”
“Always you.” She squeezes my hand.
I look back at my mom, who is scowling down as she watches her staff.
“Mom?”
She looks up at me. “Too hot? Too rough? You want me to do?”
“No.” I smile. “I want you to relax. Everything is perfect.”
She huffs. “Except the fire and this.” She points down. “I should be doing yours.”
“Well, it’s your day, too, and I want you to relax and enjoy this.”
She nods once and remains quiet. Then she says, “Your sisters are still sleeping.”
“Let them sleep.”
“Hmm,” she says.
“Hmm,” I reply.
I stand in the mirror, looking at myself. I have been waxed, exfoliated, lotioned, rubbed down, my feet and hands are done, and I am ready for bed.
Tomorrow, I will become a wife to a man I never even thought to dream of. A man as big as a tree, who makes me deliriously happy. A man who loves and respects me.
I smile as realization hits, thinking how the man I am marrying is not unlike my father.
I shake my head and feel tears welling. Closing my eyes, the first one falls.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and open my eyes.
“You okay, my girl?” Mags asks.
I nod.
She takes my hand. “Come sit with me?”
I follow her to the deck that is off mine and Gage’s room. She sits in one of the Adirondack chairs, and I sit in the other.
“Penny for your thoughts?” she asks, gray eyes sparkling.
I open up to Mags. “Just a few months ago, I wouldn’t dare open myself up and show my flaws, my judgments. I was so determined that made someone weak, but now … now I’m starting to embrace all that I am. Now I am open to the truths that come when you are not just wanting to show the world you’re badass and strong, but knowing you are more so than ever before. I never wanted to have someone in my life, a man who I would come to depend on like my mom does my father.” I pause for a moment and smile.
“But you understand it now,” Mags says, knowing that’s exactly it. “Love is a beautiful thing, my girl. And true love, well, that’s even more so.”
“My parents have that,” I say, acknowledging it for the first time out loud.
She grins. “They sure do.”
I sit back and sigh, holding my hand over my belly.
“You feeling okay?” she asks in concern.
“Tired.” I smile. “But yeah, I feel better than ever before.”
We sit silently for several minutes, watching the bonfire next to the lake. When I stand up and walk to the railing to get a better look at Gage, he turns around at the same time.
“That’s the kind of love stories are written about,” Mags says, leaning against the railing next to me and giving Gage a little wave. “He knew you were looking at him; could sense it.”
I smile and nod.
“Phoenix,” I hear my mother call from my room behind me and turn around. “It’s time to rest. You have a big day tomorrow. Your friends will be here early. Then all those guests, the ones we weren’t sure would make it because of the drive, your husband put them up in hotels in town.”
I take Mags’ hand, smiling as we walk toward my mother and tell her, “Dad would have done the same for you.”
“Of course he would,” she s
ays without a doubt in her mind. “We’re partners in every way. You and Gage will be, too.”
“We are, Mom,” I say, taking her hand with my other.
She laughs. “Things change when kids are in the picture. That’s the true test. One I have no doubt he will pass.” Mom lets go of my hand to pull down the duvet cover of the bed, and I climb in.
“Good night, ladies. We’ll see you at breakfast,” Mags says, leaving the room.
When I am settled in bed, and my mom covers me up, kisses my cheek then steps back, I notice her looking at me differently.
“Mom?”
She leans in and places her hand on my belly. “Children change everything, Phoenix. But when love is true, it makes you even stronger when they come.” She steps back and nods. “When are you due?”
For a moment, the shock renders me silent. Then I feel bad for not telling her. Then I wonder if she’s angry, upset, disappointed …
“We were getting married before I found out,” I say, trying to erase all those questions I assume she has.
She doesn’t respond.
“He wants a lot of kids. He wanted to start—”
“I’m not doubting, Phoenix; I’m simply asking a question.”
I can tell she’s being sincere.
“July. I’m just a month.”
She climbs up on the bed and kisses my cheek, then lies next to me, not saying a word.
After a few moments, I whisper, “Mom?”
And she whispers back, “I always hoped to help you like your grandmother helped me.”
“You have to work. Davy and Mali are still young.”
“And you have Mags and Gail.”
“And you, Mom,” I say, rolling to my side to look at her, hoping she isn’t upset.
“And me.” She smiles. “But I work.”
“I know, and so will I.”
“I will be here whenever you need.”
“I will need you whenever you’re free,” I assure her.
She smiles. “Good. I want to be like my mother. I want to be close with my grandchildren.”
“Then you will be,” I say, taking her hand and lying back.
“Then I will be,” she says with a softness in her voice.
We lie there silently, still holding hands.
“Sleep, my beautiful, strong girl. Sleep knowing I am so proud of the woman you have become. Sleep, Phoenix, because tomorrow begins your journey to forever.”
I nod, fighting tears as the weight of her words presses down on my emotions like they never have before.
Chapter Six
Gage
“You look fucking sexy as hell, man,” Zandor says, looking me up and down. “I mean, damn, I think if you looked this good in high school, we may have—”
“Shut the fuck up, Z,” I tell him, trying not to laugh.
“No, seriously, I’m stiffening up looking at you in that tux,” he continues.
“Lines, you’re crossing them.”
“At least you and I are friends. You didn’t even know the tranny you hooked up with on the dating app, and—”
“You fucked a tranny?” Garrett gasps.
From between my teeth, I hiss, “Fuck no, and Z, cut the shit.”
“I’m just trying to loosen you the fuck up. Just like I would in a locker room with some KY before showing you just how hot you make me.”
When I turn and glare at him, he stops talking shit. Then, like a domino effect, Garrett, Grayson, Zandor, Xavier, Jase, and fucking Ricco start laughing.
“Boys.” Mags’ stern voice shuts them the fuck up, and they all look down. “You all look very handsome in your tuxes, very grown up and mature. Could you possibly act that way, as well?” she continues.
A mixture of “Yes, ma’am’s” and “Yes. Mags” are whispered by them all.
I look at her, and she winks at me. I give her one right back.
Today, Mags is going to marry Phoenix and me. Not that the soon-to-be and last ever Mrs. Gage Falcon didn’t know we were all sorts of fucked up on each other from the beginning. We did. But Mags, she knew it was what we were both avoiding, and luckily, she gave it a softer touch in explaining to Phoenix, with words, that I was worth it, when I was just trying to fuck her so damn good she would never leave.
Mags is one of the main reasons Phoenix Star knew it was okay to fall for me, even when nothing was right. Nothing except her and Mags.
As the violins start to play, Mags smiles. “That’s our cue.”
We all follow Mags into the barn through the back door and take the stage.
Brand and Phoenix’s sisters, one on each side of him, arms linked through his, begin walking toward us.
I look at Garrett, and he looks back at me.
“Our little man looks like a million bucks,” Garrett whispers.
Our little man.
Finally, the sting is gone from what those words mean. Because, he truly is ours. Garrett’s son, my nephew—the titles mean shit. Blood is blood, love is love, and he, Brandon Falcon, is love.
And then, well, then he slows down.
“Aw, fuck,” Garrett whispers.
Brandon unlinks his arms from the very confused girls he’s walking with and pulls a flower out of his sleeve. When he starts walking to the right, I know—hell, we all know—where he’s heading.
“Excuse me,” he whispers to Josephina Steel as he makes his way toward her.
“At least he’s using his manners,” I whisper to Garrett, who chuckles.
“Excuse me,” he says as he walks past Josephina’s husband, Thomas. Then he’s standing in front of Bell Steel.
As he holds out the flower, she looks at her sister Kiki, who is scowling at her.
“Bell, I planted the friendship seeds. This grew. It’s yours,” he says, taking her unmoving hand and placing the stem in it.
The people gathered all make the “aw” sound.
Kiki snatches it out of Bell’s hand and glares at him. Brand looks shocked.
An audible gasp comes from our guests.
“Oh, hell,” Jase whispers. “Momma Joe, do something.”
Cyrus, Xavier, Zandor, and Garrett are chuckling, while Garrett and I are holding our damn breaths.
“Friendship doesn’t grow into flowers,” Kiki snaps at him.
“Does so,” Brand tells her.
“Does not,” she retorts, looking down at the flower.
Everyone is now giggling and chuckling.
“Brand,” Josephina says quietly, “you think we should continue?” She nods toward us.
He sighs and shrugs. “I suppose so, now that she ruined it.”
“Did not,” Kiki says a little louder.
“Brandon,” Josephina says quietly again.
“Yes,” he says, trying his damnedest not to be rude when he’s clearly pissed off.
She smiles and nods to us, and he sighs again before walking back out, looking behind him one last time.
“I’m not giving up,” he tells Bell.
“Game over.” Kiki sticks her tongue out then tosses the flower on the ground.
“There’s a whole garden, Kiki,” he hisses at her.
She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her body. “And there’re bugs.”
As the violins begin again, Brand and Phoenix’s sisters start walking down the aisle again, Brand looking annoyed this time and the girls looking confused.
When he gets up to us, Garrett grips his shoulder and leans down, whispering, “Not today, Brand. It’s Gage’s big day.”
Brand passes me an apologetic look, and I nod an okay.
One by one, the women start walking down the aisle, all in red dresses, none the same style. Phoenix wanted them all to pick what they liked best.
“They look pretty,” Brand whispers, taking my hand.
I look down at him and nod.
“Who are all these people?” he asks, pointing with his other hand out at the crowd.
“Friends,”
I whisper.
He nods then looks toward Garrett. “There are more here than at yours and Mom’s.”
“Phoenix’s family has a lot more people in it,” I tell him, to which he looks back at me.
“So, they’re all …” Brand stops talking mid-sentence, and I look up.
“Christ,” I whisper, and Mags giggles.
Phoenix is in a red dress, not white, red, and it’s sexy as fuck. The bodice is form-fitting, silk, I think, with lots of sparkling stones. Just below her hips, it flows. Lots of fucking material. Seas of it, actually. She looks so ridiculously sexy I am getting hard.
Her lips match her dress, reminding me of fireball night at Carlin’s. Her hair is in loose curls, one side swept up slightly, the other hanging down.
As she walks toward me, her smile that started out as shy and fake, brightens, relaxes, and gets bigger.
When she stops in front of me, her father kisses her cheek then puts her hand in mine.
“Today, we celebrate love,” Mags says, her voice almost a song. “The love of a man, and the love of a woman. Neither searched for it, or sought it out. No, not these two. They fought it until love was bigger than even him, or the two combined.”
Phoenix is beaming as she looks up at me, and I am emotional as fuck.
She puts her hand on my cheek and smiles. I press my face into it and do my best to smile back.
“Their love is a combined storm that’s darkness has no choice but to give in to a love brighter than the sun.” She pauses, putting her hand on mine, the one holding Phoenix’s.
Mags’ hand, her voice, her words spoken for Phoenix and me to repeat our promises to one another, calms me. But Phoenix, she has the opposite effect.
I love her, fucking love her, and she needs to know just how fucking much.
When we are done with the vows, I look at Mags. “I have something to say.”
She nods. “I’m sure you do.”
I look at an almost stunned Phoenix and shake my head. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she says, tears now filling her beautiful brown eyes.
“Never thought it could be all-consuming like this. Never thought I would look at a little bit of a person like you and think, this one, this one’s the one who could crush me.”
“I never would.”
“I know that, but you could, squirt.” I correct myself, “You could have. Not now. Now, you’re mine, I’m yours, and I’m not a big believer in something bigger than oneself, but you, little bit of everything, are so much bigger than you even know. Together, we’re unstoppable. Forever, Phoenix, you and me, nothing less.”
