The Liberation of Ravenna Morton

by Suzanne Jenkins

  When she ducked out of the door, it was too dark to see Rhonda’s reaction, but Esme suddenly felt sorry for her and waved.

  “Of course,” she said. “Hello there. Would you two like to have a drink with me?”

  “Thanks, but some other time,” Wiley replied. “We have reservations at Paris tonight.”

  “Fancy,” she said and gathered up her blanket to leave. “Have a good night, then.”

  “You too,” they echoed.

  “Short and sweet,” Wiley said.

  “Well, I feel terrible. That was mean.”

  “It’s like ripping a bandage off,” he said. “You need to do it fast so the patient doesn’t suffer.”

  “I still don’t feel right,” Esme said, trying not to sound like she was whining.

  “If you want me to, I’ll invite her to dinner.” He grabbed her shoulder. “But I like you and want to get something started here. I want her to get it through her skull once and for all that she and I will never be together. I had a brief fling with Rhonda years ago, and it is not going to happen again.” Esme’s heart was beating hard. “Are you okay with that, or do you still want me to chase after her.”

  “No, don’t. I’m sorry. It’s just embarrassing.”

  “Yes, tell me about it.” He helped her out of the boat. “Do you need to go back to your room for anything? The restaurant is right around the corner.”

  She thought she might benefit from a freshening up. “If you don’t mind, let’s go back.”

  They walked in silence.

  “I’m sorry she was there. It put a pall over us. I can feel it.”

  “Satan, be gone,” Esme said, and they looked at each other and smiled; then Wiley took her hand, and they walked across the street to the inn. While he waited in the lobby, she ran to her room. Minutes later, she skipped down the steps.

  “What a jerk,” she said honestly. “Could I be any more eager?”

  “That’s a good thing,” he said, laughing. “I’m eager, too. We don’t have to pretend to be anything we’re not.”

  The meal was great, the conversation wonderful. Over coffee and dessert, Wiley asked her about her father coming again. “I just need to make sure I don’t overstep my boundaries while he’s here.”

  “My dad is going to have to find his own way and not rely on my company if he decides to stay. I need to get a job, for one thing. And as you’ve said, we want to get something started here, and it won’t be easy if my father is moping around. He’ll have to find something to do quickly or go back to White Plains. And that is exactly what I’m going to tell him tonight.”

  “Don’t be brutal now,” Wiley said, concerned.

  “I won’t be,” she promised.

  When they reached the inn, Wiley pulled her into a shadowy spot. He held her close and bent down to kiss her. He could feel her body relaxing against him as she wound her arms around his waist. They stood together for minutes until a car drove by, its sweeping light revealing the couple. She took a step back.

  “I don’t want the night to end,” he said. “But you need to get some sleep. Can I see you tomorrow? We can shop for that coat.”

  “Okay, I’d like to very much.”

  He took her hand again and walked her back to the entrance. An older couple leaving the lobby flashed them a disapproving look.

  “I’ll probably get thrown out of the inn for lewd behavior,” Esme whispered.

  “I doubt that very much. I could tell you some stories. I might, someday. This town has a very interesting history.” They said good night.

  Going inside and up to her room, the first thing she did was call her father.

  “I think I’m in love,” she said.

  He chuckled. “Well, that was fast.”

  “Yes, it really is. It’s the bait guy.”

  John laughed; he knew Wiley had a fleet of fishing vessels and was a captain, too. Esme had filled him in on all the details a father might find important.

  “So, Dad, when you get here, I can visit with you for a while, but you’re going to be on your own, you know that, right?”

  “Of course. You’re important to me, but I’ll find my own interests. I plan on building a life somewhere out of White Plains, and it might be there. How’s the other family doing?”

  “It’s up and down. It’s okay, and then I guess it’s not. They ignored me again today. I think the key is to avoid situations where the whole family is together.” She told him about the situation with Mike.

  He agreed it was time for the children to be the driver.

  “Later, I had a date with Wiley. We went out to the big lake in a small fishing boat with a heated cabin to watch the sunset. It was so romantic. Then he took me to Paris; it’s supposedly the nicest restaurant in town.” They talked more about the lake.

  “I’ve always wanted to sail,” John said. “Maybe now I’ll get a chance. It’s too expensive to even think about here.”

  “Dad, that’s so cool! There are marinas all over the place. Of course, everything is going to be frozen soon. I think people are scurrying to put their boats away as fast as they can because the forecast is for a brutal winter.”

  “Ugh, well, it won’t be much different than it is here, will it?”

  They chatted a while longer and hung up. The phone immediately buzzed, sending Esme up in the air. She looked at the screen; it was April.

  “Oh my God! This is awful,” she cried into the phone. “I’m not sure I wanted to know the truth, but now it’s too late.”

  Esme wasn’t sure what to say. “What’s upsetting you? The letter? Or the journal?”

  “Both. It appears that my father has been lying all along; he knew my mom had had a baby. He may not have known about her going to a distant relative, but I don’t believe it. How could he not know? I can’t tell my mother about this because I’m afraid it would devastate her. The boarding school story is bad enough. But at least that was a sin of commission that strangers inflicted. Could my father have known everything? He could’ve gotten in touch with your mother when she was a child.”

  Esme didn’t know what to do. She’d stirred the pot and then didn’t offer any solutions. “I don’t know if you can trust Peggy,” Esme said carefully. “She might have been purposely setting up your father.”

  “So you think it could all be lies?”

  “The parts about Mike, yes. They very well could be.”

  April thought about it. It was possible. “I think I need to confront my father,” she said. “He started this mess when he asked me to contact your mother. Now the family is in turmoil.”

  Esme thought it might be a good thing for the family to have their comfort zone threatened. There already seemed to be some positive things happening, starting with the dreaded Faye taking care of Mike so lovingly. Sure there were things evolving under the surface, Esme needed the reminder to allow things to happen in their own time.

  “I hope you find just the right words,” Esme said.

  “Will you come with me?” April asked timidly.

  “Me? Why? You saw how quickly I was dismissed today, April. I’m a stranger and nothing more. In a way, it’s a blessing my mother isn’t here because she would have been hurt by the way your brothers and sister have treated me. Once this new stuff comes to light, I’m sure they’ll like me even less.”

  “I’m so sorry,” April said. “You’re right. I’m not trying to make excuses for them, but my brothers are trying to hold on to what little dignity they have. They see you, nearly the same genetic material as your mother, and you were raised in a much different way, in a stable home with your mother and father living under the same roof.”

  Esme was shocked. “You mean they’re jealous of me?”

  April didn’t answer.

  “Well, they need to snap out of it. That’s ridiculous! They’re all educated, employed, in relationships.”

  “None of us are very happy.”

  “You have each other and your moth
er and father, April. My dad and I have each other, and that’s about it. And happiness is so fleeting. What is happiness anyway?”

  “I know, I really am grateful I still have my parents. But Peggy’s journal worries me because of what I’m afraid it’ll expose. What if what she writes about my father is true?”

  Esme cackled softly over the phone. She had the feeling April would see that what they were going to experience was what they’d foisted on Maria and her family.

  “Oh, Esme, I’m sorry,” April said after a moment. “Once we started to dig, there was no way of preventing everything from coming to the surface. Exposing your truth led to exposing ours. One thing had to lead to the other.” She did get it. “Oh, well. I hope it helps us, whatever I discover.”

  Esme was glad to hear April say it. The truth was always better than lies. Wasn’t it?

  Chapter 23

  Dexter and Faye left Ravenna’s as soon as they could after dinner was over. They walked single file to the car in silence. He pressed the key fob to unlock her door but didn’t open it for her. Being with her at the cabin had been surreal; it was the first time since he took her there three years ago to meet the family, before they got married. She’d been shocked at the simplicity of the cabin and made sure he knew. Up until that time, Dexter had never felt defensive about the way Ravenna lived.

  “Well, I think I’m a venison convert,” Faye said as he pulled the car into the road.

  It was so dark out, no street lights illuminated this part of town, that when he looked at her, he couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not. “You don’t have to worry about serving it at home,” he replied.

  “Ha! No, I guess unless our neighbors bring it over again, it won’t be an item on the menu anytime soon.”

  “Faye, what the hell is going on?”

  Looking out the window at the shadowy woods beyond the road, she almost said what do you mean? She didn’t want to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about.

  “I’ve had a change of heart about a lot of things lately, and Mike having his meltdown today opened a door for me, that’s all.”

  “Change of heart about what? It would help if you prepared a guy, you know. I thought you might be having some kind of a nervous breakdown.”

  She chuckled. “I’m sorry, Dext.”

  “About what? Be specific, will you, please?”

  “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

  “But what about the change of heart? About what? About watching what I eat? About the bills? About being a compulsive maniac about the house? I mean, when you told my father he could paint in the living room, I almost keeled over.”

  “Oh God, I’m sorry, Dexter. I guess you could say I’m going to stop being a control freak. I won’t be so mean to you. I’m really sorry about that. And I want a baby.”

  “That’s another thing. What’s with the baby stuff? We never talked about a baby. As a matter of fact, you didn’t want to talk about a baby, and I was fine with it.”

  “Well, let’s talk about one! I want one. I’m going to be thirty-five. Every month I think about it, and I get bummed when my period shows up.”

  He swerved a little on the road when she said this. “Did you stop taking the pill?”

  Faye grabbed his hand. “No, no, no. I would never do that without asking you first. What do you think?”

  He wove his fingers in with hers. It was the first time in a long time they held hands. “Faye, I’ll be honest with you. I was contemplating asking you for a separation up until finding you in my bed yesterday.”

  Nothing he could say could shock her as much as that did. She didn’t reply right away. Maybe that was why he felt he could bring his father back to the house without asking her; he no longer cared what she thought.

  “Wow, I guess I must have been in denial, thinking everything was okay with us.”

  “When you came to my bed the other night, it was in the nick of time.”

  “Our lovemaking is always so good, isn’t it?” Faye sighed. “I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. I can’t help it. It’s like I’m playing this role at work, and I have to stay in character or I’ll fall apart when the pressure gets to be too much.”

  “Well then, you need to find another job, or you need to start your own business. It’s no way to live, and besides, it’s ruining our marriage.”

  “Will you think about the baby?”

  “Faye, we have too many problems to think about a baby just yet. Let’s work on those things first, okay?”

  She didn’t want to work on problems, though. She wanted to have it her way, have sex every chance they got, get pregnant, buy baby things. But maybe that was one of the problems, always having it her way.

  “Okay, I guess it’s only fair.” She had to allow him to catch up with her. “Do you still love me?”

  He didn’t answer right away, which really hurt her feelings. “I’m sure I do,” he answered. “I mean, of course, I love you. But I’m guarded. I don’t want to jump into anything because you suddenly want to play happy families.”

  They drove back to the lake in silence. As Dexter pulled onto Lakeshore Drive, the ridiculousness of their house hit him again. “Do you know that every time I drive on our street, I feel embarrassed?”

  Stunned, she asked, “Why?”

  “The cabin we just left? I was raised there. The Native woman who cooked the deer meat on a woodstove, that woman is my mother. Why the hell should I live in a house this pretentious when my own mother doesn’t have electricity? Don’t you see the contradiction in it?”

  “Did you always feel this way? I mean, why did you agree to buy on the lake if you don’t like it?”

  “I love the lake, Faye. That’s not the point. It fed my ego to buy this place. But now I feel ashamed.”

  “You should bring your mother here,” she replied as the garage door opened.

  “She’d never come. I think she’s developed agoraphobia. She hasn’t taken the canoe out or gone to a show with Regina in years. She used to shop in Douglas, canoe to the public marina and tie up right by the park, and walk up the hill to the grocery store.”

  “Oh, how sad,” Faye said. She was ashamed now, too. Why didn’t she know her in-laws? “I guess I am sort of a snob.”

  “No one would ever call you a snob to your face, Faye.” He snickered, but she didn’t think it was funny.

  “Let’s go inside before the neighbors call the police.”

  “God forbid we chat in the car,” Dexter said.

  “Yeah, well, we brought it on ourselves. ‘If you ever see anything unusual, don’t hesitate to investigate.’”

  “Us being in the car together is weird enough,” he replied.

  “Right.”

  They went inside, and Faye was reaching to flip a light switch on when Dexter grabbed her shoulder and gently turned her to him.

  “Let me back in our bedroom, wife. If you’re serious about working on the marriage, that’s the first thing you can do.”

  “Of course,” she said. “I was going to invite you in anyway; you just beat me to it. I’m honored you want to be with me.”

  “Yes, well, I’m going to fuck your brains out tonight, so prepare yourself.”

  “I’m blushing,” she replied, but with a giggle.

  ***

  After April hung up from talking to Esme, she decided she had to go back to the cabin and confront her mother and father with Peggy’s journals. The temptation to hold back, even destroy the information, was powerful. But the comparison that had been made between what they did in disrupting Maria’s last days and now what was possible in her own family was strong.

  Hoping to find her parents alone, when she got to the cabin, Regina’s car was parked out front. April pulled in behind her and hiked in. Yellow light came from the windows, and smoke curled up slowly from the stone chimney. She paused, looking at the scene, the blue-black sky of dusk still reflecting enough light from both the setting sun and the moon
that she could clearly see the silhouette of the cabin and the river running swiftly beyond it. She never felt compelled to leave home like her brothers had. It meant peace and security to her. After a tough day in elementary school, she remembered jumping off the bus and running down the dirt road toward the cabin, knowing Ravenna would be walking to meet her.

  “Mommy, why don’t you wait at the pavement like other mothers do?” April had asked her in Ojibwe.

  “I don’t want the others to know your mommy is from the cabin,” she’d said.

  Without questioning her further, little April knew what her mother meant was that she was the Indian lady and there was something about that to hide. The last Indian lady in town. Ravenna’s honesty broke the child’s heart so that she’d erected an imaginary shield of protection around her mother. She dared anyone to try to penetrate it with anything but love.

  Bowing her head, the tears came again. They were so near the surface all the time now, and in the cold, they burned down her face. She had so much compassion for her mother. Was it fair to throw all of this onto Ravenna? Maybe it was a good thing Regina was there; she would ask her first before doing anything. She called, “Hoot!” and continued walking to the cabin, the moment of reflection gone, for now. The chill off the river signaled winter’s arrival. Soon, it would be frozen over.

  “Why did you return?” Ravenna was waiting at the door. “Did you forget something?”

  “No, just wanted to see you two again. What’s Gina doing here?” But when she stepped through the door, she figured it out. The tension in the room was heavy. Regina sat at the table across from Mike, her eyes red. Mike was stony, frowning.

  Ravenna scurried to the stove. “You want tea? I can see its cold out there.”

  “Do you want me to leave? I can see I interrupted something.”

  “No, don’t leave,” Mike said. “We’ve talked enough here.”

  “Dad, I don’t think we’re done yet. I’m pissed!” Regina stood up quickly, pushing the chair out with such force that if Ravenna hadn’t grabbed it, it would have toppled over. “I don’t think you even considered my feelings once today. I devoted my life to promoting Mama’s baskets. And who do you turn to when you need help? Faye! I don’t get that at all.”