Sarah felt a blush rise from the modest neckline of a sprigged cotton dress she had bought in Madera. She fingered the crisp white trim on the cuffs and quickly changed the subject. “I would have loved to go to such a school,” she said in a small voice. Hating the “poor me” tone of her voice, she asked, “Does Dori like it there?”
Solita grunted. “Who can say? She would be too proud to admit it if she does not.” Solita lowered her voice. “Dori has been in what Senor Mateo calls ‘scrapes.’ It is a wonder she has not been sent home in disgrace. I think Senor Mateo has had to pay mucho dinero to keep her there.” Sarah saw how disturbed the housekeeper was over Dori, so she said, “Tell me about Robbie, please.”
“It is a sad story. He wanted to prove he could do everything Senor Mateo did—but Roberto was too young.” She sighed. “I think Senor Mateo’s heart broke in two pieces when Roberto died.”
Sarah couldn’t hold back a question she’d wanted to ask for a long time. “Did no one try to heal it?” She felt guilty for asking but blurted out, “The girls at the Yosemite Hotel said Matt had been engaged to a girl named Lydia Hensley….” Her voice trailed off.
“Sí.” Solita’s face clouded up like the sky before a thunderstorm. “That one was no good.” She pounded her dough again as if taking out her disgust with Miss Hensley. “Senor Mateo vowed to never again trust a girl or woman. Senorita, he kept that vow until he saw your picture.”
Sarah sat bolt upright. Heat raced through her veins. “What do you mean?”
“It is true. Senor Seth told me that since he gave the picture to Senor Mateo, it has ridden in Senor Mateo’s shirt pocket.”
Sarah couldn’t doubt Solita. So Matthew Sterling carried her picture. Did he look at it as often as she did the one she had of Seth and him? She gulped. “I don’t understand. Why would Seth give him my picture?”
Solita quietly said, “Both senors were worried about you and praying for you. We all were.” The sweetest smile Sarah had seen since her mother died brightened Solita’s face. “Every day I say gracias a Dios, thanks to God, who brought you safely to us.”
Sarah knew she’d be bawling if she didn’t get away. She hugged the diminutive housekeeper and escaped from the kitchen—but not from the effect of Solita’s disclosure. Imagine. The girl-shy Matthew Sterling carrying her picture!
A few days later Matt stunned Sarah by presenting her with a beautiful chestnut gelding.
“Why, he looks just like Pandora, the horse of my childhood,” she cried in delight. “Seth must have had a hand in the selection. But I can’t take him.”
“Of course you can. He’s a gift from Seth and a bribe from me,” Matt told her.
“What kind of bribe?” Sarah suspiciously demanded.
“You need to get out of the ranch house and into the fresh air and sunshine to keep healthy,” Matt said. “Not just for your own sake but for Seth’s. You’ve been cooped up too long. Now that he is recovering, you have to think of yourself. You’ve gotten thin and peaked looking. A good dose of the outdoors is just what the doctor ordered. You’ll also have more to tell Seth when you get back.”
“Did Dr. Brown ask you to take me riding?” Sarah held her breath and waited.
“Hardly!” Matt’s eyes lit up. “My own idea, but I’m sure he’d have prescribed it if he’d thought of it.”
The afternoon rides quickly became part of Sarah and Matt’s routine. While Seth napped, was pampered by Solita, and grew strong, Sarah and Matt explored the vast holdings that made up the Diamond S. She loved every inch of the place.
Late one golden October afternoon Matt took Sarah to his special place overlooking the ranch. The promontory offered both privacy and beauty. The entire valley spread out before them, with its vineyards and orchards, its cattle and horses. They dismounted and gazed down into the valley for a long time. Sarah passionately wished she could stay there forever.
Matt wheeled from the view. He drew Sarah close in his strong arms. “I love you, Sarah Joy Anderson,” he said. “I want you to marry me and never leave the Diamond S. You don’t need to answer right away, but no one on this earth can ever love you as much as I do.”
Shaken by his intensity and the beauty of the moment, Sarah longed to respond to the gentle invitation in his eyes. She hesitated then faltered. “Matthew, I admire and respect you with all my heart, but…”
“But you don’t know if you love me.” Disappointment cast a shadow over his strong features, but it vanished the next moment. “I’ll settle for your admiration and respect—for now—and leave the future in God’s hands. Don’t worry about it.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I understand.”
Sarah felt torn. How could he understand when she didn’t? Before she pledged herself to this fine man, she must settle something forever: Were her feelings really love? Or were they hero worship mixed with gratefulness for everything he had done for her and Seth? She must be sure. “I need time to think,” she whispered.
“Take as long as you need,” Matt offered. He released her and raised an eyebrow. “I can afford to be patient. I intend to live to be an old, old man.” His eyes sparkled. “I’ll bet my bottom dollar that someday you’re going to walk up the aisle of our Madera church on Seth’s arm, all gussied up in a fluffy white dress and ready to become Mrs. Matthew Sterling.”
Sarah gasped and stared at him. Impossible as it seemed, the scene Matt described was identical to the one she had conjured up while being fitted for the hated wedding dress months before—the dress Tice Edwards had paid for but had never seen her wear.
Chapter 17
Now that Seth was rapidly improving, Sarah’s worries should have been over. They weren’t. She was faced with a dilemma that had nothing to do with her brother’s health. Captain Mace had promised she could return to waitressing at his hotel, but his trade depended heavily on the Yosemite Stage and Turnpike Company, which daily transported tourists from Madera to the Yosemite Valley. The visitors remained overnight before returning home the following day. The stage line, however, had ceased operation for the year and would not resume until spring. This meant that the captain could only keep a limited number of girls working during the winter, and Sarah was the newest employee.
On a beautiful Indian summer morning while Matt and the boys were busy away from the ranch house, Sarah saddled the chestnut gelding she had already learned to love and rode out alone. John Anderson had taught his daughter well, insisting that she learn to saddle and care for the first Pandora before he allowed her to even ride to the borders of their small farm.
Riding Pandora II brought back so many happy memories! Sarah giggled, remembering the look on her father’s face when she announced she wanted to name her new horse Pandora. A twinkle crept into his blue eyes, and his lips twitched.
“Pandora?” He scratched his head and looked puzzled. “Seems to me Pandora was not only a gal but one who caused a heap of trouble. She opened a box she’d been told not to and let loose a passel of evil on the world—including sickness. Are you sure you want that name?”
Sarah stubbornly shook her head. “No. It said in a book that Pandora means all gifts, and he’s a gift. Besides, my horse wouldn’t ever do anything bad. It doesn’t matter if he has a girl’s name.”
“Then Pandora it is,” John Anderson said. “You are responsible for taking care of him. That means feed, water, muck out his stall, brush, and curry him.”
“I will, Pa.”
Sarah had faithfully kept her promise until the awful day she watched a stranger mount the gelding and ride away. “If Pa had lived, we would never have had to sell Pandora,” Sarah told her mother.
“I know.” Mama looked as sad as Sarah felt. “We can’t stay on the farm. It no longer belongs to us. You know we need the money to get to St. Louis.”
“I know, but Seth gets to keep Copper!”
“Would you have me sell Copper in order to keep Pandora?”
Sarah felt ashamed. Seth had rais
ed Copper from the time he was weaned. Selling him would almost be like selling Seth. “No, but I will miss Pandora so much.”
“We all will.” Mama hugged Sarah. “Someday if we have enough money, I hope you can have another horse.”
Now, years later and nineteen hundred miles from the farm, Sarah had another Pandora. A wave of gratitude toward Matthew Sterling flooded through Sarah’s body. “Lord, what would Mama and Pa think of me now?” she prayed. “And of Seth?” Love for the brother whose life God had spared settled into Sarah’s heart. How could she help loving Matt when he had been so good to Seth and her?
“That’s the problem,” she told Pandora. “He’s everything I ever dreamed of, but I have to be sure of my feelings. I don’t want to marry Matt out of gratitude. Or because I see him as the answer to my worries about Gus finding me. Or being forced to wed Tice. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.” A new and horrid thought rushed into her mind.
“I didn’t actually read the papers Gus waved at me.” A chill went through her. “What if Gus had copied Mama’s handwriting and wrote a letter naming him as my legal guardian in case anything happened to her?”
The thought was so appalling that Sarah nudged the gelding into a canter in order to escape. Pandora settled into the easy stride that ate up distance like a visiting preacher gobbling down fried chicken. At the foot of the hill that sloped up to the promontory offering solitude—Sarah’s favorite thinking place—Pandora slowed for the climb, but he wasn’t even winded when they reached the top.
Sarah loved the spot for itself and not just because she had spent happy times here with Matt. Nothing disturbed the quiet except the sound of cattle lowing in the distance, the occasional cry of a hawk, Pandora’s occasional gentle whinny, and a breeze rustling through the manzanita. A carpet of needles beneath a pine offered a soft place to rest and ponder knotty problems.
Sarah sat down and clasped her hands around the knees of her divided riding skirt. No sidesaddle for her. Back on the farm, she’d ridden in Seth’s britches when they got too small for him.
However, Solita had raised her eyebrows in horror at the idea and produced a riding skirt Dori had left behind when she went back east. “Senor Mateo would not like you to dress so,” she protested when Sarah came into the kitchen clad in trousers and ready for her first ride with Matt. “Senorita will wear this. Mucho mejor. Much better.”
“Didn’t Dori ride in pants?” Sarah asked.
The corners of Solita’s mouth turned down. “Only when Senor Mateo was not here to stop her.”
Sarah snatched the skirt and went to her room to change. From then on she scrupulously dressed to go riding according to Solita’s decree.
Sarah always felt close to God on the promontory. It offered the opportunity to seek Him and lay her concerns at His feet. The hustle and bustle of a busy ranch didn’t always offer the opportunity to be alone and quiet. She had always treasured the scripture “Be still, and know that I am God.” Nowhere else could she find a better setting to obey His command.
Today another verse came to mind. The advice from James was as applicable for Sarah as for those to whom they were originally directed: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.”
Sarah pondered the timeless admonition then stared unseeingly across the valley. “Lord, I thank You for bringing me to this place. I thank You for Your loving care and that Gus and Tice have not followed me. Yet I feel they will come. Neither will give me up without a fight.” She shivered and hugged her knees tighter.
“In the meantime I need a job. Should I go to Fresno and look for work? It’s a much bigger town, and Captain Mace will surely give me a good recommendation.” She shook her head, and dread crept from the tip of her toes to the crown of her head. “I don’t know anyone in Fresno. I would have to pay for my room and board. If Gus and Tice come, I’ll have no one to protect me.” She hastily added, “You can, of course, but is it really Your will for me to leave the Diamond S?”
Emotion surged through her. Leave Seth? Matt? Solita? The cowboys who respectfully tipped their Stetsons to her when she passed by? This promontory where she felt God’s presence in every stirring breeze, every bird’s song? No—yet how could she stay? If only there was something she could do at the ranch.
“I’ll be glad to do any kind of work, Lord,” she promised. “I just don’t know what. When I try to help Solita, she shoos me away and tells me to go amuse Senors Seth and Mateo. The maids who help her giggle and shake their heads when I offer to make beds or dust. It feels like a conspiracy.”
She jumped up, smoothed out her riding skirt, and mounted Pandora. “Do you know what I am going to do, my fine, four-footed friend? I am going to tell Matt Sterling point-blank that either he puts me to work, or I’ll go where I can work.”
With a prayer in her heart that she wouldn’t have to leave, Sarah left her trysting place and headed home—the first real home she and Seth had known since their father died.
God answered Sarah’s prayer in a way she wouldn’t have suspected if she lived to be older than Methuselah. That same evening, Matt, Seth, Solita, and she gathered in front of the huge rock fireplace in the spacious ranch house sitting room. Dancing flames turned Seth’s hair to glistening gold. The crackling fire targeted the brilliant colors of the beautiful Mexican tapestries on the walls and glinted off the silver belt buckle Seth sat polishing.
Sarah took a deep breath. It was time to state her own little declaration of independence. “I need a job.”
A stick of dynamite exploding in the quiet room couldn’t have had a more startling effect. Solita’s mouth dropped open. Seth stared then burst into a loud “Haw haw!”
Matt sat up straight in his hand-hewn chair and gave Seth a quelling look. “What would you like to do, Sarah? I have enough cowhands. You’re a good rider, but I don’t think you could tame wild mustangs.”
Sarah sprang to her feet and clenched her fists. For the first time since meeting Matthew Sterling, she was thoroughly angry at him. “Don’t make fun of me,” she cried. “You don’t know what it’s like to be beholden.” Tears of fury fell. “I mean it, Matt. Either you give me worthwhile work to do here on the ranch, or I’m going to Fresno and find a job.”
He looked stricken. “I’m sorry, Sarah. I was only teasing you. If you want a job, I have one for you. I’ve been meaning to mention it, but what with Seth being shot and all, it slipped my mind.”
Sarah cocked her head to one side. “What is it? Some made-up something that isn’t important?”
Matt gave her a smile. “Not at all. Some of our Mexican workers have children. They help with crops and in the orchards, but are at a great disadvantage because of the language barrier. Do you think you could teach them to speak English? Winter is the perfect time.”
Sarah’s knees gave way, and she dropped to a nearby settee. “Why, I—”
“Solita will help you,” Matt assured her.
“You can do it, Sarah,” Seth interrupted. He let out a cowboy yell. “Miss Sarah Joy Anderson’s gonna be a schoolmarm!”
Speechless, all she could do was stare. Yet her mind raced like Pandora. She had asked God for work. Matt had offered work that was truly worthwhile. How could she refuse? She closed her eyes and pictured young brown faces turned toward her, shining dark eyes showing eagerness to learn. Thank You, Lord.
“How many children will I have?” Sarah asked. “I will need supplies. Slates and chalk and a blackboard so I can draw pictures.”
“Only a few families live here year-round. There’s fewer than a dozen children right now, ages five to fourteen, in addition to the toddlers and babies. Evan will order whatever supplies you can’t find at the general stores. Seth can take you to town tomorrow.” Matt grinned. “If it’s not too hard a trip for our invalid.�
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Seth snorted. “Are you crazy? I can’t wait to straddle a cayuse again.”
“Hold your horses, fire-eater. No cayuses. Take the carriage. You’ll need it to bring back Sarah’s stuff.” Matt stood, crossed the room, and held out a calloused hand. “That is, if it’s a deal.”
A dozen children? Could she do it? She had to. The only other alternative was a lonely boardinghouse in Fresno where she would never feel safe. “Yes.” Sarah put her hand in his. “I don’t know how good a teacher I will be, but I promise to work hard.”
“That’s good enough for me.” Matt squeezed her hand then dropped it, but not before Sarah caught a satisfied gleam in his dark blue eyes. “About your salary…”
Sarah felt herself redden. “I just need enough for room and board.”
“Not on the Diamond S,” Matt quietly told her. “Everyone works. Everyone gets paid. You won’t make what a regular teacher makes because it will only be for an hour or so a day.” He raised his hand when Sarah started to disagree. “No argument. The children have chores, even in winter.”
The new schoolmarm subsided. Solita had long since warned her there was no use arguing with Senor Mateo once he made up his mind.
Oh dear! In the discussion with Matt, Sarah had forgotten Solita. She turned to the housekeeper. Her heart thudded to her toes. Solita sat with bowed head. Did she feel it was an insult to the Mexican children to have a girl only a few years older than some of them become their teacher? Sarah rushed to her. “Solita, what is the matter? Don’t you want me to teach the children?”
The housekeeper raised her head and blinked back tears. “Sí! It will make them so happy.” She caught Sarah’s hand and kissed it. “Gracias, senorita. Dios will bless you for your goodness.”
California Romance Page 12
