“Yeah.”
“Man, I can’t believe how large you are, girl. Do you know half the students in school know who you are now? You’re famous.”
“No, I’m just trying to get through this semester, that’s all,” I told her.
“Are they coming over to your house this weekend? Can you introduce me?”
“Most of the time they just show up. I actually never know when they’re coming. But I promise that next time they’re at the house I will call you to come over.”
“For real, for real?” she squealed laughing.
“Yeah, for real, for real.”
It seemed that we got to Cassie’s house quicker than usual. We stood a while and talked about our assignments. Then she went in and I started walking home. I stopped when she called me.
“Kenisha, wait, I gotta tell you something. Sierra Clark, you know her right?” she asked. I shook my head no. “Well, Sierra is one of the popular girls in school. She’s on the dance team, and she was talking smack about how she can dance better than you. She also said that the only reason you were with Tyrece and LaVon is that you were giving it up. I know Sierra from when we went to elementary school. We were best friends then, but now we don’t even speak mostly. Anyway, watch your back. To tell you the truth, I don’t even like her.”
“Thanks, I will,” I said, then started walking home again. See, this is all I need—more drama. What next?
nine
Trouble…
“Ever notice how you never see trouble coming. They say you see it a mile away, but that’s not true. Trouble—real trouble—just pops up right in your face. Bam!”
—MySpace.com
I was dancing, and it felt great. I dumped my books, told my grandmother that I’d be back and went to Freeman Dance Studio. I reserved a room on the top floor so I didn’t have to deal with anybody. My real class didn’t start for another hour, but I just wanted to go early and do like Jade said. I needed to dance some drama away.
So I was doing some steps Gayle and Jade taught me when I heard all this hollering and clapping. I turned around. Jalisa, Diamond and Li’l T were standing at the door watching me. I laughed and did my curtsy and bow then turned off the music and went over to them.
“What are y’all doing here so early?”
“Well, we did stop by your grandmother’s house to give you a ride, but she told us that you had already gone,” Diamond said.
“Girl, you looking tight out there. You look good,” Li’l T said, smiling from ear to ear.
“Yeah, but you also looked pissed,” Jalisa said.
“Well, some stupid stuff…” I began then stopped, seeing that Li’l T was right up there in my business listening. I looked at him. Jalisa and Diamond looked at him.
“See, y’all wrong, I’m supposed to leave now, right?” We just looked at him without speaking. “Yeah, I know get out, right?” he said.
“Right,” the three of us said all together then laughed.
“Whatever. See, y’all ain’t right. I helped you find Kenisha and this is how you say thanks, by kicking a brotha to the curb.” He kept on muttering as he walked away.
Jalisa and Diamond were already dressed, so we all sat on the floor as they warmed up. I told them what happened at school. They weren’t all that surprised. Apparently the same rumors were going around at Hazelhurst. They said that my sweet sixteen outing with Tyrece was said to be so much better than Chili’s birthday party earlier in the year. Chili was livid, of course. Now everybody wanted to know where I was so they could hang with me. Please. Talk about for-real posers.
After that conversation, we just sat talking about everything else, just like the old days. After a while we started dancing and coming up with steps. Time flew by. We did our class, then afterward sat on the front steps talking. We didn’t feel like going to the pizza place, so we just chilled out in front of the Freeman building.
It was getting late. Jalisa and Diamond gave me a few copies of class assignments. I checked them out quickly and decided that they were worth doing. I walked them to the car but decided not to get a ride home. I was tired, but it was a good tired and I felt like stretching and walking.
On my way home I walked by Sierra and some of her friends. They were sitting on somebody’s front steps. I had no idea if she lived there, but I made a mental note to walk on the other side of the street next time.
“Hey, you Kenisha?” I heard her even though I had my earbuds in. I kept walking like I was only hearing my music. “Hey,” she tapped me on the shoulder.
I stopped and looked at her like I didn’t hear her. “Hey,” I said.
“You Kenisha?” she repeated. I nodded. “I’m Sierra. I heard you were talking to Troy today at school.”
“Who?”
“Troy,” she repeated slowly, apparently not sure if her information was accurate. She glanced over my shoulder. “Troy. Cute, football player?”
“Oh, yeah, he stopped by my locker to say hi.”
“So you interested in him, too.”
The word too got me. What was that? “No, I’m already seeing someone. He’s in college.”
“College?” she asked, totally not expecting that answer.
“Yeah, he goes to Howard. So, no, I’m not interested in Troy or anybody else at Penn Hall.”
“Because that’s what I heard,” she said, rolling her neck as her girls came down off the steps to back her up and stand behind me.
I knew that scene. I’d been there before. It was about to jump off. I braced my dance bag on my shoulder wishing that I had something heavier to swing at her face, but with three of her friends behind me, I wasn’t gonna get much more than one good hit anyway. I shifted my weight and took a deep breath. Ready.
“Sierra, what’s up with you, girl? Why don’t you back off and leave her alone. Go sit you big ass down.”
New voice. Male voice. I looked around.
“Screw you, D,” she snapped back instantly.
“You tried that. You messed up both times, remember?”
Whatever that meant, it hit the target. It pissed her off big time ’cause she started a string of cuss words that I swear I never even heard before. If words could kill, whoever he was would be dead, stomped, grounded, cremated and then buried six feet under plus one extra foot just because.
“What you think you gonna do?” he asked her threatening, getting out of a car parked in the middle of the street. “Why don’t you back off before you get your ass hurt?” he said, more than a little threatening.
I noticed that the three girls that were behind me had suddenly gone back to have a seat on the steps again. They were acting like they weren’t involved, but it was obvious that they were listening.
“Why don’t you back off, D? Ain’t nobody talking to your tired ass. You think you own this street? Well, you don’t. Don’t nobody even like you. Acting like you some big man, you ain’t nothing but a punk. So you back off.
This ain’t none of your business,” Sierra said, rolling her neck the entire time.
Okay, I swear I felt like I was standing at Tombstone in the middle of the gunfight at O.K. Corral. They obviously knew each other and apparently they had drama issues.
“Why don’t you make me, bitch?” he said angrily, stepping up to her.
Make that major drama issues.
“What you gonna do, D?” she asked equally defiant, “Hit me?” Looking at her and hearing her talk was like an oxymoron. The two didn’t match. She was pretty, but her mouth was foul, plus it was like watching David go up against Goliath. She was my height and maybe even an inch shorter. He was tall and muscle-thick but not bulky. He could probably clock her with one hit.
“You think I won’t,” he said, as they literally came face-to-face. She didn’t move an inch or bat an eye.
Okay, this was seriously my exit. I backed up and started walking away. They continued arguing so nobody said anything to me. I think I started breathing again when I was
in the next block. Whatever finally happened, I really didn’t care. He had thug gangster written all over his face, and she looked like she could hold her own with him. But…“Hey.”
I didn’t have my earbuds in, so I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t hear or that the person wasn’t talking to me. I stopped and turned around. It wasn’t Sierra. “Hey,” I said getting ready for anything.
“Don’t pay attention to Sierra. She’s all talk. She’s still pissed off, that’s all,” said the girl approaching me.
“Yeah, I got that, but I don’t know why she’s pissed at me. I don’t even know her or Troy.”
“I think she wants to talk to Troy.”
“So she should do it and stay out of my face. I don’t want him. I got enough drama with the Y chromosome,” I said dryly. I hadn’t intended to be sarcastic, but I guess that’s how it came out.
She laughed and I smiled. I think she actually understood my levity. That surprised me. Diamond and Jalisa would have gotten the reference. But Chili would have looked stumped and gotten pissed because she didn’t get it.
“That’s funny,” she said. “I’m Ursula. They used to call me Ula, but now I really hate that name. So you can just call me Ursula.”
“Hi, Ursula. I’m Kenisha. You live around here?”
“Yeah, that was my house you stopped in front of.”
“Oh, I thought it was Sierra’s house.”
“Nah, she just hangs out there ’cause of my brother—correction—my half brother. He’s a private school dropout. They used to be tight. That was him she was arguing with.” I guess I must have made a face ’cause she started laughing again. “I know, they argue like that all the time. They break up then they make up.”
“And now she’s interested in Troy, too.”
“You obviously don’t know Sierra. She wants them all.”
I thought about Chili. “I had a friend just like that.”
“Yeah, we all do. You go to Penn right?” she asked. I nodded. “Yeah, I saw you there. So your sister’s Jade.” I nodded again. “She was nice. She was my dance teacher when I went to Freeman a while back.”
“You went to Freeman. When?”
“A long time ago.”
“You stopped?” I asked. She nodded. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I keep saying that I’m gonna go back, but I guess I just never did.”
“You should go back.”
“Yeah, I’m thinking about it. Maybe I will. Anyway, don’t worry about Sierra. She’ll just roll her eyes and act all loud, but since D told her to back off, she will. There’s no way she’s not going to listen to him,” she said, starting to walk backward.
“Thanks Ursula, I appreciate that,” I said as she turned and headed back to her house. I kept walking. I noticed a car parked outside my house. The guy, Ursula’s half brother, was leaning back smoking a cigarette. He watched me as I walked up. I cracked a half smile and kept on walking.
“So what, you think you gonna take all of them at one time?” he asked. “They would have kicked your ass.”
I stopped. This was apparently unavoidable. “Whatever, I wasn’t going down alone.”
“You got guts,” he said, chuckling.
I turned around and looked at him. He was fine with a capital F. “You gotta do what you gotta do, right?” I said, trying not to sound too corny.
He flicked his cigarette into the street, pushed away from the car then walked up to me. He stood too close, but just like Sierra, I didn’t move an inch. “I’m Darien.”
“Kenisha.”
He nodded then stepped back and walked around to the driver’s side of his car. I watched him. He watched me. He got in, smiled, then drove away.
ten
Common Ground
“My equilibrium is all off. I’m off balance. Everything I thought I knew is wrong, and everything I thought I had, I don’t. Family, friends, acquaintances, lovers, they’re all blurry now. I can’t tell who’s who anymore. Can you?”
—MySpace.com
“Who was that?”
“Hey, Grandmom,” I said walking up the path. She’d just come out of the house and sat down in her chair on the front porch. She was holding a glass of something with ice in it. “I don’t know, some guy. He stopped to talk.”
“What did some guy want?” she asked, suspiciously.
“What every guy wants,” I said cynically, sitting down in the chair beside her. “But don’t worry, I have no intention of doing anything with anybody—and that includes lawn mower guy. I’m not ready.”
“Uh-huh. Many a young lady said that exact same thing. And many a young lady turned into a young mother. Saying you’re not ready and a boy hearing it are two different things. They needle you, they beg, they plead and they cry. They say they’re going to be there if anything happens. But two minutes of bliss isn’t worth the rest of your life, especially these days. Sex is just too dangerous. Do you know about sex?”
“Yes, Grandmom.”
“In my day, we didn’t talk so openly about such things. Good girls kept their legs closed until they got married. And even then, good girls got in trouble. Do you know about sexually transmitted diseases?”
“Yes, Grandmom.”
“Good, but I can always get you a book from the library or from the bookstore in town.”
“I know about STDs,” I said dryly, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible.
“In my day, we feared getting pregnant. Nowadays you need to fear getting dead. Having sex is like playing Russian roulette. You never know what you’ll get when that trigger is pulled.”
“Isn’t that a game?” I asked, not sure exactly what it was but knowing that I heard it mentioned before.
“It’s definitely not a game. It’s when you put one bullet in a revolver and spin the chamber. You put the gun to your temple. The trigger is pulled, and you have a one in six chance of the bullet splitting your head open.”
“Grandmom,” I said, completely stunned by her out-spoken bluntness. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Believe it. Sex is no joke, and it can get ugly fast.”
“I know. Chili’s pregnant by LaVon. He used to be trying to get me to have sex with him all the time. But I wasn’t ready, so I didn’t. Then when Mom died, I guess I just gave in. I was going to do it. I was over at his house in his bedroom when I found out that Chili was having his baby,” I said. I was waiting to hear her yell, but she didn’t. “I’m so glad I didn’t do anything. But at school now, just because I used to go out with LaVon, some of the guys think I did.”
“You can’t change what people think, Kenisha. As long as you know what’s true, then that’s all that matters. So what about you and Terrence?” she asked.
“Lawn mower guy? I like him a lot. He makes me laugh, and he makes me feel good even when I don’t feel like it. He tells me the truth, especially when I don’t want to hear it.”
“He’s a good kid. He has his head on straight, always has. He’s been in trouble before, but that’s in the past.”
“You don’t have to worry about me and Terrence, either, Grandmom. I’m still not ready, and he’s never even said anything to me about us being together like that. Truth is, I’m sure there are enough girls at Howard who would be happy to take care of him that way.”
“Men can make a woman weak. They can turn her head completely around—and not for the better. I’m not saying they do it on purpose. Some do and some don’t. I’m saying that all in all, they do what they have to do. I wouldn’t worry about Terrence and the girls at Howard right now. He has a good heart. He’ll be all right.”
“A good heart? Is that how Granddad was?”
“Your grandfather was a good man, yes, and in his way he was faithful. He was a preacher, a man of God, but he had a weakness for fast women.”
“You mean he was a player?” I asked, stunned.
“Is that what you call it now, a player?” she asked.
&n
bsp; “Yes, it means that they like playing around a lot.”
“Then I guess that’s what he was. A player.”
“But he was a preacher. How could he do that? I mean isn’t that against the Bible and God and everything?”
“Man isn’t perfect, that’s for sure. I’m talking about men in general, all men, but that includes women as well. Your grandfather was a good preacher, but he was also a man with weaknesses. We all have weaknesses. The point is not to let them lead us down the wrong path.”
“Another recipe for life?” I asked.
She nodded and smiled. “Speaking of recipes, when are you going to start dinner? It’s getting late and I’m getting hungry.”
My mouth dropped open. When I started staying with my grandmother after my mom died, we made a deal that I would cook dinner on Friday nights. It all started because I was complaining about always cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. I challenged her to clean up once in a while, so she made me the deal and I gave my word. “But I thought since I was out at Freeman so late you’d cook tonight.”
“Where’d you get that idea?” she chuckled.
“Fine,” I said, then stood up picking up by dance bag. “Why don’t we have pizza tonight? I’ll order from the pizza place,” I suggested, hoping to not deal with all that kitchen stuff tonight.
“You already asked me to defrost pork chops. I did. They’re in the refrigerator. I think I’d like corn and some leftover green beans with that, if you don’t mind.”
“Okay,” I said dryly, knowing that I wasn’t going to get away with not cooking a full meal tonight. “I’m gonna go clean up first, then I’ll be right down.” She nodded and I went in the house.
My grandmother was a trip. She had rules for just about everything, but her number one rule was keeping your word. If I said I was going to do something, she expected that it would be done. I guess that was an okay way to be. I knew I could always depend on her word no matter what because of it.
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