I want to give him everything right now. I want to make up for every delay, every misunderstanding, every misstep over the months I’ve known him. I lick his lower lip gently while he’s still watching me, hungry and intent, and then his mouth parts and we’re kissing deeply, desperately.
His hands pull me closer with a jolt and I’m overflowing with sensations, his mouth, his hands, his long hard body against mine. His fingers trail up my back and tangle in my hair, holding my head to get deeper into my mouth. After a long moment we come up for air, panting. My skin feels heated and flushed. His eyes are wild and his hair mussed from where I’ve been pulling on it.
I grab his hand and pull him into my room, nudging the door closed with one foot—just in case. It’s dark by now and a sliver of moonlight seeps in around the edges of the curtains at my window. Pausing I go to my night table and find a packet of matches, lighting several candles near my bed. I turn and Noah is still standing by the door, as if hypnotized, his hands slowly working on the buttons of his shirt.
“Ta da!” I say lightly, moving to take over on the buttons. “Not just friends, not just sex. Instant romance!” I tilt my face up to his, all the while smoothing one hand down his chest as his shirt opens.
“You’re incredible,” he says huskily and I blink, flushing some more.
I duck my head and hide my embarrassment by licking his nipple. He shudders and finds the back zipper of my dress, pulling it down, down, down until I can step out of it. I let my eyes flicker up to his to check on the effect of my new lingerie. I’ve had plenty of time to plan this night. I move back a step so he can see me better, from the sheer black lace bra that I’m kind of spilling out of to the matching thong.
“You like?” I murmur. My hands move to his jeans and I can tell he does. He makes an inarticulate sound and I giggle, wondering if he’s done with words for the night. There’s only one other word I need from him right now. I still my hands and look up at him.
“Hey,” I say softly. “Up here.” I smile as his eyes dart back to mine. “I want to make love tonight. Is that what you want? I’m on the pill so we don’t have to use…” I clear my throat. “I mean, it’s your first time and it should be perfect….” I’m rambling. And nervous.
His warm brown eyes go darker and his mouth opens, but no words come out. He nods, and a tiny sexy smile ghosts his lips.
“You’re sure?” I confirm. I’m trying very hard not to touch him now, figuring fair is fair, undue influence and all that. “Because we’re very good at other stuff,” I remind him, smiling too.
With a bigger smile he leans in, stroking his hands down my bare back and lingering in a kiss. “Yes,” he says into my ear.
I let go of the reins then and rapidly divest him of the rest of his clothing. I carefully take off his glasses and put them on the side table. We stumble to the bed and topple over, laughing now. I flop my arms above my head and stretch out, enjoying the way his gaze roams over me, hot and needy.
“Didn’t you say lace bras make your nipples sensitive?” He trails a finger over the edge of the bra, sending heat through me.
“You remember that?” I gasp. He tugs so my nipple pops out and he brushes it with his thumb. I’m having trouble breathing.
“I remember everything you told me and I want to try out everything I told you. Right now, I want to eat you up,” he adds, running a hand down my side from breast to hip.
“That works for me.” My voice comes out breathy and low. I squirm on the bed, parting my legs, already so turned on.
With a low laugh he makes good on the promise, starting with my mouth again and working his way down, tugging on straps and clasps until I’m naked under him, writhing with pleasure. By the time he’s between my legs I’m embarrassingly close. At the first touch of his mouth I shriek and arch my hips. He anchors me securely, his hands on my thighs and his legs trapping mine. Another lick.
“Noah!”
“Mmm?” He lifts his head and I regret distracting him. Our eyes lock over my heaving, flushed body and it’s incredibly intimate.
“You did say this was your favorite way to come, right?”
He returns to teasing me before I can answer. I struggle for air or words or thoughts or…anything against the hurricane of pleasure bearing down on me now. I moan, my hands tangling in his hair and gripping tight. Within minutes I explode, my whole body thrumming as shock after shock of bliss tears through me. I gasp, overthrown, as Noah levers himself up, panting too.
“Definitely my favorite way to make you come.”
“So far,” I remind him huskily. He’s sitting between my legs all disheveled and sexy, and I want him so badly. “Come here!”
He crawls closer, watching me with dark, serious eyes, his whole body taut with tension. I smooth my palms over his chest.
“Sure?” I say once more, meeting his gaze. He nods and settles over me, shoving his face in my neck and shaking. I run my hands up and down his back, reveling in the firm muscles.
He lifts his head up and looks me in the face. “You?”
“Oh yeah,” I say, smiling as I push his damp hair off his forehead and press more little kisses all over his face. He closes his eyes briefly and I hook my leg around his hips, pulling him even closer.
“I love you,” I whisper, watching his face as he eases inside of me. He’s tense as a bow and my hands pet and stroke him even as my body arches to receive his. We both moan at the sensation and he lifts startled eyes to mine.
“Holl!” His voice is strangled and awed.
“Mmm—yes!” I’m moving beneath him because I can’t help it. I’m still wet and slippery and sensitive from the orgasm that ripped through me and he feels so good just like this. Like this. Amazing. And I’m so moved I want to cry.
He moves with me hesitantly, leaning on his forearms so he can watch me. I can see the feelings as they cross his face—shock, desire, love—and the intimacy of this undoes me. I squeeze around him, wanting more and he gasps, startled again.
“Holly!” He’s breathing faster and I want him so much, just like this, forever. I’m coasting on wave after wave of aftershocks, as our bodies slip and slide together.
“So good!” I murmur, wanting to be sure he knows. He shifts deeper and we both moan again, his head dropping to my shoulder as his hips move faster. I keep stroking his damp skin, murmuring in his ear, telling him how he feels inside me, how much I love him, how amazing this is. I’m blissfully content, and overwhelmed by how connected we are.
And I know him, his body, his pleasure and I know when he’s close, moving with less control and biting his lip as if to stifle his sounds. I wrap my legs around him tighter and cup his head in my hands so I can watch him come apart. His wild eyes meet mine and we dive deep, my smile broadening as his eyes widen and he collapses into a shuddering sweaty heap on top of me, gasping something that sounds a lot like “love you!”
“Omigod, Holl!”
He keeps saying that and I hide my smile, flipping onto my stomach and swinging one naked leg in the air. He pauses, distracted, and rolls toward me. We’ve been lying like this for the past hour now, entangled and sated, talking. If these occasional outbursts of amazement count as talking. I smile again and let my hair fall in front of my face so he won’t notice.
“So people do that all the time.”
I’m not sure if he wants a response to that. He seems to be working some stuff out in his head.
“And walk around in the world afterwards as if nothing has happened.” His voice conveys astonishment. He tugs at my hair, trying to see my expression.
“And they do that with strangers?” He sounds utterly bewildered and finally I can’t contain it. I burst out laughing, hanging my head as my shoulders shake and I gasp for breath.
“You’re so cute!” I manage as he pushes the hair out of my face to scowl at me.
“You don’t find all this—” He waves a hand over our naked bodies and searches for a word. “Intense?�
�� he says finally, brow furrowed.
I roll over to my side to face him. “I do! That was incredibly intense! And so yummy and you’re making me want it all over again! But Noah, believe me, it isn’t always like that. People don’t necessarily walk around in the world the next day feeling like their souls have merged with someone else’s.” I feel a little embarrassed now and my cheeks warm.
“What do you mean?”
I reach out to trace his furrowed brow and shrug. “That sometimes it’s just physical, you know? Just uh-uh-uh over.” I hate to be the one to break this to him. “It’s more like…going to the gym or something. Or like watching TV together on the couch—sort of automatic.”
“Going to the gym?” He repeats, clearly puzzled.
“Not that that’s a bad thing! It’s just, you know, not always about connecting.”
“That’s kinda sad. They’re missing out. I mean orgasms are great and everything. But coming inside you? Being inside you?” He shakes his head. “No words.”
My heart squeezes for this guy! I bite my lip, feeling like tears might well up any minute. “You remember what I said when you told me you were a virgin all those months ago, when we were ‘just friends’.” I use air quotes for emphasis, my voice trembling.
“Yeah,” he says, taking my hand in his. “You said you wanted it to be you. That knocked me over.”
“Yeah.” I squeeze his hand. “And I said whoever she was would be a lucky, lucky girl. And she is.”
23
Noah
Despite Holly’s prediction, I did walk around for the next few days after our first time feeling utterly dazed and shaken. Maybe that makes me weird or naïve or something, but I kind of can’t get over it. I mean, I knew about lust and I knew that sex could change things between people but I didn’t know know it. Like feel it myself. Strangely, this new physical experience was raising philosophical questions. And I know I’m putting too much heteronormative importance on sex-as-penetration. Wouldn’t I count what Holly and I had done earlier as sex? As equally intense and intimate? I guess, for me, that was intense and intimate but this was worlds more so. It blows me away to be that close to Holly, to feel so vulnerable and so in love.
I smile to myself because Holly seems so charmed by my new discovery. I talk about it and she smiles and laughs and shakes her head at me and ends up tearing up and covering me with kisses. Then we’re at it again and it’s just as incredible and I’m full of amazement all over again. It’s quite the virtuous circle. And I like how being with Holly in this new way keeps me tipping between the mental and the physical, the emotional and the sexual. It’s exciting and challenging and…oh yeah, it turns me on like crazy.
As Thanksgiving looms closer I can’t bear to imagine even four days apart. We talked about it and reluctantly decided it was too soon, too rushed to go to either of our homes together. We’d figure that out over the winter break. But now I regret how sensible we were.
“When’s your flight?” I know when it is. I’ve asked her a million times already and I’ve memorized her schedule. I know exactly when she gets back too.
Holly eyes me over her laptop screen, pursing her lips. She leans forward, distracting me with a glimpse of her open neckline. “You remember our phone sex, don’t you?”
I choke on a cough, looking around uneasily. “We’re in the library!” I hiss at her.
“I know!” she whispers back. “That’s why I’m whispering!” I feel her foot wiggling up my leg toward my lap. We’re sitting across from each other at a narrow carrel. Holly’s taken to keeping me company while I work in the stacks and today we stayed late to get some more studying done. It’s hard to work in our rooms because of all the temptations. But, now, damned if there aren’t temptations here too. I grab her foot before she discovers how turned on I’m getting.
Fat chance. “Ever fantasized about doing it in a library?” she asks, propping her chin in her hand and sliding down onto her elbow so her luscious breasts rest against the table. She winds one hand in her crazy curls and bites her certifiably delicious lower lip.
“Holly,” I warn.
“I think it would be really hot. Your favorite place, our favorite activities.” Her voice is low and suggestive and working on me.
“Uh oh. What trouble are you coming up with now?” I glance at the clock on the wall. How much longer is my shift anyway? When can we go back to her room?
She snorts. “As if you don’t thoroughly enjoy my trouble!”
“Yeah, well—” That is true. Still, she has a particularly intent expression on her face.
“Phone sex will be a poor substitute for the real thing.” She looks thoughtful. “But if there were a totally private, totally secure channel of audiovisual communication…. I mean, we don’t Skype-sex because of the risks of video getting hacked, right? But if there was something with stronger security protocols.” She frowns, and I have to chuckle.
“What happened to ‘information wants to be free’?”
“Noah! There’s such a thing as personal privacy!”
I laugh for real now. “There’s a turnaround!”
She stands to gather her stuff. “Yes,” she nods emphatically. “I’ve changed. Haven’t you?”
I fold her in my arms for a tight hug. “Yes,” I agree. “I have too. I’ve brought you into my world.” I gesture around at the library. “And you’ve dragged me out of it too.”
“Mmm.” She nestles a little closer, tucking her face into my shoulder. “Your world’s kind of hot.”
What can I say to that?
“Well,” I say finally, after first sending a prayer of thanks to the mighty gods of Olympus for the miracle that is Holly. I tuck a loose curl behind her ear. “I’m counting on you to bend the space-time continuum so we can have the best possible virtual sex while we’re apart, okay?”
She grins up at me. “On it.”
Epilogue
HOLLY
“Was it a bad idea?” I flop backwards onto the sofa with a groan. Noah drops down next to me.
“What? Dinner with all the folks? What were we supposed to do? It’s graduation. My folks want to take me out. Your folks want to take you out. We wanted to be together. It made sense to combine them.”
“Yeah.”
We stare at the ceiling for a while.
“I think it’s getting better,” I offer tentatively.
Noah swivels his head to look at me. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Sure. I mean, I’m still not a nice Jewish girl but your folks like me. I think.” I frown because if they didn’t would I notice? We’ve established that sometimes I don’t notice things.
He pats my hand. “How could they not? And Rachel adores you.” He shifts to pull my back against his chest, then presses a kiss on my neck. We slip back into a comfortable silence.
“Are you checking out my boobs?” I murmur, turning my face toward his. The dress I wore to dinner has a deep vee neck that I knew he’d appreciate. I love when his brown eyes darken and his lids drop.
“Always.”
“Mmm. Okay.” I cover his hands with mine and scoot closer. “When are the others getting here?”
“Any minute.”
“Oh. Right. Okay.”
“Yeah. We don’t have time.”
Our eyes meet and he gives me a lopsided smile. I shrug and sigh. It’s okay. We have all night. Every night. And next year and the year after that…. The doorbell rings and we reluctantly disentangle ourselves from the sofa and each other.
Lani breezes in first, enveloping me in a big hug. “Congratulations!” She kisses Noah on the cheek while I greet Kyle.
“Hey,” he says, leaning down for a one-armed hug while holding out what looks like a heavy bag of groceries for Noah to take.
Noah peers into it. “Glad you guys could make it! And what’s all this?”
Kyle grunts. “Supplies.” His eyes scan around the room. “I forgot what a nice place this is. I have a lot of good me
mories here.” He grins.
Since he and Lani moved to San Francisco last year there’s been a revolving door through this apartment. First Annika moved in with Matt, then when they left for D.C. five months ago Noah and I moved in.
“Is the upstairs neighbor still click-click-clicking across the hardwood floor in her heels?” Lani asks, moving into the room. She pauses in the middle and turns to face us again.
“Yep,” Noah and I say at the same time. He moves to the kitchen to unpack the supplies while Kyle and Lani make themselves at home, which they kind of are.
“How was graduation? Dinner with the parents?” Lani asks. She toes off her shoes and tucks her feet under her to settle in one of the big cushy armchairs they left with us.
I make a face. “We were just talking about that. Graduation was fine. You know, kind of anticlimactic, but it’s good to be done and everything.”
Noah calls out from the kitchen. “You guys want beer? Wine? Tequila? You seem to have brought everything. Even….”
“I’ll go give him a hand,” Kyle interrupts, joining Noah in the kitchen.
“And it was going okay with my folks until Noah had to ask my dad to explain what it means to DM.” I roll my eyes just as Noah returns to the room with a bottle of wine and some glasses. Kyle follows him with a beer in one hand.
“What? Come on, that’s not just me. You guys don’t know what that stands for do you? And how did direct message become a verb anyway?”
Kyle and Lani look at him pityingly until he grimaces. “Okay. Holly, next time give me a vocabulary cheat sheet again in advance. That worked pretty well before.”
They dissolve into laughter and I feel my love for him bursting through my chest. He’s just so freaking adorkable (another word he hates, natch). Our eyes meet as he passes me a glass of white wine (because he knows what I like) and he raises an eyebrow at my expression (because he know what I’m thinking). I flush a little as he takes a seat next to me and picks up my hand to interweave our fingers.
The Lesson Plan: Extra Credit, Book 3 Page 12
