by C. M. Steele
It’s been three weeks since I fled. At first, I didn’t know what I was going to do, but then the choice was easy. I needed to go see my mother’s grave. Driving back to Phoenix wasn’t a hard task, just painful. Thoughts of Trent and Dana circled in my mind; however, his words of love tricked me every time I tried to push him out of my head. It’s almost Christmas and I’m alone.
I drive to the cemetery again. I’ve been visiting my mother every day since I’ve been back because it’s the only solace I can find. Something is different today, though. I’m at my mother’s grave when I see this massive man in the distance. He’s in a suit, but too far away to make out his features. Still, for some reason, I think it’s Trent. I know it can’t be him because he doesn’t know where I am or probably doesn’t even care, but part of me wants it to be him.
My eyes keep moving back to the man. He looks like he’s getting closer every time I look up, but I’m probably going crazy. I think I watch too many movies. I used to watch romance movies, but since my heart’s been shredded, I can’t so I’ve switched to horror.
I feel him; I swear I do. I stand up but refuse to turn around. I can’t deal with the ache engulfing my soul. But he whispers my name, “Lily”, and I’m done.
~~~~
“I got a lead on her. She’s on her way to the cemetery. Apparently, it’s something she does every day,” Duke says as I get in his rental car.
“How do you know that?”
“I asked the young man that she lives with.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, she has a male roommate.”
My blood is boiling. I’m suffering every minute for her and she’s with someone else. Not if I can help it. She’s mine. The entire drive I’m seething. I worry that I’m going to snap when I see her, but Duke and I have a plan in motion. She isn’t going back to the apartment, and that man may have to disappear if he’s touched what’s mine.
Duke waits for me in the rental car while I walk to find my bunny. It doesn’t take long to spot her; even from a distance, I’d know her anywhere. She looks up at me several times. Every time she does, my heart races. Lily is perfect.
The moment I’m behind her she stands, but she doesn’t turn around. I don’t know why she left me, but I know whatever it is, I have to fix it. I need her. I call out for her and she turns. The tears are falling down her face, but I don’t know if those are because of me or her mother. My chance to ask disappears because she faints dead away.
~~~~
I wake up and know exactly where I am. I try to sit up, but my head spins. Trent is right by my side with a washcloth against my head. Then I realize that I’ve got the chills.
“Lily, it looks like you’ve got the flu. The doctor said he’ll be here in a little while with the test results.”
“How did I get here?”
“I took you home on the plane, then in my truck.”
“I want to go back.” I try to get up, but it’s useless because he pushes me down against the pillow.
With his face just inches from me, he informs me, “You’re never going back there. You belong here, end of story. I don’t know why you ran from me in the first place.”
“You’re a liar. How could you keep your lover around and sleep with me?”
“For the record, I’ve never lied to you, not once. I told you I haven’t had sex in over six years. That’s the truth, and just in case you think Dana and I had something going on, she started working for me a little over a year ago.”
“Then how does she know about the birthmark on your inner thigh?” I snip back at him.
He pauses for a moment like he’s got a confession to make, but all he does is shake his head. “Look, I don’t know how you can believe someone else over me, especially a stranger, but I don’t know how she knows that.”
“Get some rest. Just so you know, I’m not letting you leave again. You believed I would keep you here when we first met. Well, guess what, sweetheart, your premonition has come to fruition.”
He bends down and kisses my lips. I forget how angry and hurt I am the moment his lips hit mine. My heart’s dancing in my chest. I think about the last image I have of him that day. He had pulled Dana off me. His eyes never left mine and they were angry, but when I think about where his hands were on her, I picture him squeezing her in rage. His words hit me and I realize he wasn’t mad at me at the time. He was angry about what happened. I stop our kiss because I feel his love. He’s never given me a reason to doubt him, and everything he’s done has been all about making me happy. I look into his eyes and my tears start flowing.
“Shit, Bunny. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Even when he should be mad at me, he’s worried about my tears.
“I’m sorry, Trent.”
“Don’t apologize for crying. I’m sorry that I made you cry.”
“It’s not that. It’s just you were holding onto her that day, and after what she said, everything felt like a lie.”
“Bunny, I didn’t hold her because I wanted to touch her. I pulled her off of you. I swear I didn’t mean to keep touching her. I was looking at your beautiful but bruised face and I accidentally squeezed her too hard; I was so pissed. There was a moment when, I swear, I wanted to choke her for her lies.”
“What did she say happened?”
“She said you attacked her because you were jealous. Claiming you were crazy and had accused her of having an affair with me.”
“I accused her!” I shout.
“I didn’t believe it. I told her you knew about my past so there wasn’t any reason to believe her lies.”
“I didn’t believe her until she mentioned the birthmark.”
“I don’t know how she knows about it. Really. I don’t think I’ve ever changed in my office for any reason. I think I need to check the stalls.” He pauses. “Oh shit, I remember. Hold on, love.”
He stands up, runs to the door, opens it and shouts downstairs. “Ernie! Can you come here for a minute?”
“Hold your horses, boy.” I hear her shout back, but I can hear the footsteps approaching.
This beautiful, older woman walks in the room. She was his maid? The woman was hot. “Ernie, this is my Lily. Lily, this is my future aunt, Ernestine.”
“Hello. You rushed me up here for an introduction?”
“No, but before I ask you a damn question, I figure you two should meet.”
“So, what’s so damn important? I was in the middle of baking some cookies.”
“Do you remember what bathroom you caught Dana leaving that one day she showed up to pick up the file I asked you to get?”
“The one right next to your study.”
“Shit, I think there’s a camera in there.” He turns back to me in a panic and asks, “Did you use that bathroom at all?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Thank God.”
“I clean that bathroom once a week. She was here two months ago, but I didn’t see anything unless it’s hidden inside something in the room.”
“I’ll be right back. Ernie, can you keep an eye on her?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Trent.”
“Babe, before you left me, we damn near had the same conversation. Don’t test me because I’ll chase your running ass anywhere around the world.”
“Okay.”
He kisses me once and heads out the door. Ernestine and I look at each other and immediately, I’m nervous.
“It’s so good to meet you, Lily. We’re going to be related soon, but I need to tell you something.” She gets really close and sits on the bed. “If you ever hurt him again, I won’t be so pleasant next time.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt him. I really thought he was sleeping with his assistant.”
“I know and that’s the reason you’re still breathing. I may argue and tease him, but I respect him and his character. He’s a good man, and he’s been searching like a mad man for you the past three weeks. He’s had more to drink since he first saw you
than he’s ever done in the past.”
“He’s been drinking?”
“Yes, he’s been running around town looking for you but everyone has refused to give him answers, so he’s been drinking heavily at night. If you knew his family’s past, you’d understand why he doesn’t drink.”
“He hasn’t really mentioned much of his past.”
“Ask him about it. I’ve worked for him for many years and it took for his uncle to tell me many of the details, but you need to understand the reason he is the way he is.”
“I will. Thank you, Ernestine.”
She places her hand against my forehead like she’s checking my temperature. “Get some rest. I don’t know why you had a fever, but it seems to be gone now. Would you like some soup?”
“I haven’t eaten at all today. That would be great.”
“That could explain why you fainted.”
We can hear several people rushing up the stairs. In a panic, I almost jump off the bed, but it’s only Trent and two other men. He introduces me to a slightly older version of himself and to the doctor. It’s a male doctor, which is shocking because he was crazy serious about having a female doc look me over when I was at the hospital.
“Miss Mason, I’m Dr. Cline. Mr. Davenport had me run some tests as soon as you arrived. It seems that you just have a mild illness that will clear itself up with rest and food. There’s another issue that I must discuss with you.” He turns to the others in the room and says, “If everyone can leave the room, please. It’s something I need to discuss with her alone.”
Uncle John and Ernestine leave the room, but Trent stays put. The doctor gives him a look. “What?! I’m not going anywhere. Her health is everything to me.”
Then the doctor looks back at me and asks for permission with a slight tilt of his head. I just nod my acceptance. “Lily, the test results reveal that you’re pregnant.” I don’t know what to say. I’ve thought about it since I left quite often but didn’t think it was possible.
“But doctor, I don’t understand, I had my period two weeks ago.” Trent looks at me with a confused expression on his face. Does he think I’m pregnant from someone else? Does he know about Dane?
“Was it heavy? How long did it last?” I know that answer easily because I was heartbroken when it came. I wanted to keep a part of Trent with me even if we couldn’t be together.
“No. It was short and light.”
“That can happen with some women. It’s not a cause for concern.”
“What about the fainting?” Trent asks, looking nervously at the doctor.
“That’s normal, too, especially if you skip meals.”
“Do you have any questions?” the doctor asks. I’m sure I’ll have a billion of them, but right now my mind is blank.
“Did you sleep with him?” I gasp at his words. They’re angry, cold and painful to hear. I stare without saying anything because I don’t want to snap in front of the doctor.
“Doctor, can you leave us for a moment?”
“If you don’t need me, I have to get back to the hospital.”
“That’s fine. Have a good day.”
I wait until he walks out the door and closes it behind him before I look at Trent. I’m livid, but when I see his face the anger fades. He looks devastated. He doesn’t seem furious. Instead, he appears broken.
“I want to punch you in the head right now.”
“You want to punch me? I didn’t have sex with anyone else, but you gave yourself to another man.”
“I’m trying not to get upset. Trent, I need some time alone.”
“I need an answer.”
“There’s been no one else. Now please leave me alone for a bit.”
He pauses but does as I ask and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. My tears start immediately. He doubted his baby because I left. If I had stayed, we would be celebrating the news. Instead, I’m laying here miserable. I hate that he doubted me like I was some whore.
~~~~
I catch a hand to the back of my head. “Uncle John, what the fuck was that for?” I rub my head where he hit me and give him a dirty-ass look.
“You essentially asked the woman you love if she’s having another man’s baby. Do you even understand how insulted she must feel?”
“He’s right, Bert. That was a dumb move at a very wrong time.”
“I didn’t mean to ask, but it just came out. I wanted to kick myself for it, but she paused and looked at me with guilt. My world just fell apart. Then I wanted to rip his head off.”
“Son, I get that you wanted to know, but don’t you think she’d tell you if she had?”
“Like I said, I didn’t mean to ask, but I’ve thought about her going to bed with someone else in retaliation or just for comfort. She left me because she thought I was sleeping with my assistant. Now I know why she believed it. I have a birthmark that can only be seen when I’m naked so that bitch tried to prove she slept with me.”
“Did you find the camera?”
“I did. I didn’t remove it, though. I don’t want her to catch on, but from now on that bathroom isn’t to be used. I have to make some calls. Will you come get me if she asks for me before I finish my call?”
“Yes. It’s going to be okay, Trent. She seems like a sweet girl who’s been broken by the family life that was ripped from her.” Ernie hugs me and I hope that I’ll be able to get things back to the way they were three weeks ago.
“Thanks, Ernie.”
I sit down in my study to call Duke, but the reality of her words hit me harder than my uncle. “There’s been no one else.” I’m going to be a father. My hopes, dreams, and fears are a giant ball in my gut right now. Panic and fear fill me up. I can’t even take care of my woman; how am I supposed to care for a baby. I don’t want to be my parents. I never want to fall into that trap. I turn to the restocked bar in my study and decide it’s getting tossed later.
I’m determined to be the best father and husband I can be. Lily is going to be my wife and the mother of my children. I’ll call Duke later. I need to make things right with my bunny. Rushing out of my office, I almost collide right into her. My hands grip her waist to stop her fall and it feels incredible to hold my woman in my arms again.
“I’m sorry, Lily.”
“It’s my fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“I was the one not looking where I was going, but that’s not why I said I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. It was an asshole thing to do. I’m really sorry.”
“Let me ask you this. If I hadn’t left, would you have asked if I slept with someone else?”
“Come in, Lily.” I pull her into the office and to the couch where I place her on my lap. “Love, I thought because you felt hurt by me that either you’d find someone else in revenge or to stop the pain. I’ve never doubted your love for me, even when you left. Hell, I felt it even more so then. Her words hurt you so much that you ran without waiting to hear what you thought would be the truth.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to explain. It was too painful to watch you touching her, believing you two had been much closer and according to her, it was on her desk.”
“She’s going to pay big time for what she’s done. People like her are the reason I stayed away from others for so long. When I first met my uncle, I’d been swindled in the initial opportunity he gave to me by someone who claimed to be my friend. I felt like a dupe and ever since then, I’ve kept to myself.”
“So that’s why you are the way you are? Was it a woman?”
“No. I never let a woman close because I didn’t want to be my father.”
“Why is that?”
“Because…my father was an amazing, respectable, and wealthy young man who fell in love with a cleaning lady at his company.” I pause because I don’t like how they turned out, but I still love my parents. “She had been a recreational user of drugs. I didn’t learn about their meeting and the beginning of their li
fe because they never spoke of it. He married her after he found out she was pregnant, but given that she used, she lost the baby. They stayed together because he loved her. She didn’t feel the same, but she cared for him. Ultimately, her drug use was more important to her and she slowly turned him into a user too. He lost everything due to his drug habit. They ended up having a falling out with my uncle because of it and never spoke to each other again.”
I place my head on her chest because I have a hard time talking about my past. She slips her hands through my hair, caressing my scalp. I look up at her and the warmth in her eyes eases the past hurt.
“By the time I was born, they were poor and living in a shitty part of Portland. We moved all over the place because they couldn’t keep a job. Then one day, I was taken away from them; I was about six at the time. They had sobered up and found jobs so I was given back to them. That was when the continuous line of visitors started coming in and out of our apartment. All of a sudden I had nice clothes, food in my belly, and my parents’ love so I didn’t mind the strangers at first. It took several years for me to notice that they weren’t always the best of people. It wasn’t the scummy people that bothered me so much as the suits that randomly came to visit. I learned later that they were part of a drug ring. My parents were drug dealers and still using. This continued for four more years, then one day things changed. My parents were using hard again. They were using more than they were selling and there was hell to pay. They were killed while I was in school.”
“Oh, Trent. I…oh my…it’s so awful.”
“The funeral was paid for by some supposed friends, but I knew it was their drug suppliers. The thing was I didn’t know who had done it. Was it one of the many that came strolling through our house, sitting at our table having dinner with us and bringing me toys? It’s the reason I don’t deal with people if I don’t have to.”
