by Kate Hardy
‘It’s how you’re supposed to seal a deal,’ he said.
‘That’s not how we sealed the deal about me being your temporary nanny and you buying out Eva.’
‘And that was my mistake,’ he said, and kissed her again. ‘See you tonight. Six o’clock. And if you’re late I’ll serve you cold, congealed Brussels sprouts.’
She grinned. ‘Sounds as if you’re listening and learning.’
‘I am.’ His eyes were full of warmth. Full of promise.
And Sophie allowed herself just a tiny glimmer of hope for the future.
* * *
That evening, Sophie stood on Jamie’s doorstep, clutching a bottle of wine and some chocolate Christmas tree decorations. How ridiculous to feel nervous. Jamie had asked her here, and she knew Sienna would be pleased to see her. All the same, she took a deep breath before she pressed the doorbell.
A few seconds later, the front door opened and Sienna rushed to greet her with a hug and a squeal. ‘Sophie!’
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ She hugged the little girl. ‘These are for you, to go on the tree.’ If Jamie hadn’t removed all the gaudy decorations and replaced them with subtle, tasteful, soulless ones.
‘Thank you!’
‘And this is for you,’ she said, handing the wine to Jamie.
‘Thank you.’
She laughed. ‘You do know you’ve got chocolate smeared over your face, right?’ And it was incredibly endearing, because it meant his attention had been completely on Sienna and making the banana penguins together, and he hadn’t been thinking about mess.
He looked shocked. ‘I have?’
‘Uh-huh.’ On impulse, she rubbed the smear away with her thumb.
His pupils widened, and she felt an answering lick of desire.
Had Sienna not been there, he might have greeted her very differently indeed. With a kiss, like the one he’d left her with in the café...
‘Come in,’ he said, and Sophie was gratified to hear the huskiness in his voice.
Dinner was fabulous. ‘No sprouts,’ he said with a grin. And she was really pleased to discover that he’d left the tree exactly as they’d decorated it together.
‘Can I read your bedtime story tonight, Sienna?’ she asked when she’d helped the little girl add the chocolate decorations to the tree.
‘Yes, please,’ Sienna said with a smile.
Sophie noticed that the black and white bear had pride of place on Sienna’s pillow. The bear that had helped her break the final barriers with her father.
‘Did Daddy ask you?’ Sienna asked, when they were alone.
Sophie could guess exactly what Sienna was talking about. Would she be her new mummy? But it wasn’t something she could answer yet. She and Jamie still needed to sort things out between them.
‘He told me about Santa and how he talked to you and your lovely bear, here,’ Sophie said. ‘And you know when you have a big fight with someone, sometimes it takes a little while to make it up?’
Sienna nodded solemnly.
‘That’s where we are right now. Your dad and I still need to talk a bit more and finish making up. But one thing that won’t ever change,’ she promised, ‘is me being part of your life. I’ll always be there.’
Sienna hugged her. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you, too.’ She read the story and kissed the little girl goodnight, before heading back downstairs to Jamie.
‘Will you stay and have a glass of wine with me?’ he asked.
‘Yes, but there’s something I need to do first,’ she said.
He laughed. ‘I’m way ahead of you. Come with me.’ He ushered her into the kitchen, opened the file that was lying on the kitchen table and ripped up the first page, then offered her the next page. ‘Your turn.’
Between them they ripped up the entire contents of the file.
‘There aren’t any puddles tonight,’ Jamie said, ‘but I can improvise, if you like.’
‘Just knowing all those rules are gone is enough,’ she said with a smile.
He poured them both a glass of wine. ‘Come and sit with me.’
And she discovered that he really did mean sitting with him, when he scooped her off the sofa and settled her on his lap.
‘This,’ he said softly. ‘This is what’s been missing from my life. You, close to me. And thank you for giving me a second chance. I’m not going to mess it up.’ He stole a kiss. ‘I’m tempted to ask you to stay tonight, but I know it’s too soon.’
‘It is,’ she agreed.
‘Will you let me take you to dinner on Wednesday—just the two of us?’ he asked.
‘You mean on a proper date?’
‘A proper date,’ he confirmed. ‘Ellen will babysit.’
‘I’d like that,’ she said.
‘Good.’ He stole another kiss. ‘So how’s work going?’
‘Okay. We’ve got Eva’s leaving do on Thursday, and we’re all going to miss her horribly.’ She stroked his face. ‘You?’
‘We’re closing the deal on the next resort,’ he said. ‘It’s a former manor house in the Cotswolds, and we’re going to run some specialist cookery courses.’
‘Sounds good,’ she said. ‘And I guess you can showcase local foods to go with it.’
‘And we always feature work by local artists, which we sell without taking commission,’ he said. ‘That way we help the local economy, too.’
And somehow they ended up talking business and bouncing ideas off each other.
‘So much for “no interference”,’ he said wryly.
She smiled. ‘Maybe we need to renegotiate that bit. Brainstorming with someone who isn’t quite as involved as you are is really useful.’
‘So when are you launching the Weddings Abroad service?’
‘After Christmas,’ she said. ‘I’ve got slots booked at a few wedding fairs, and I’m working on pieces for wedding magazines and websites.’
‘Let me know if you need to borrow any staff.’
‘Thanks. I will.’ She stole a kiss. ‘And I’d better go. Good luck with the counselling tomorrow. Call me if you need to talk.’
‘Thanks.’ He stroked her face.
‘And I’ll see you on Wednesday.’
‘I’ll pick you up at seven—although I’m not actually eating with Sienna, I can still be with her when she has her dinner,’ he said. ‘And I think she’ll be pleased that I’m going out somewhere with you.’
‘Sienna and her bear,’ Sophie said with a smile.
* * *
Jamie could barely concentrate all day on Wednesday. He’d managed to book a quiet table for two in a really romantic restaurant in Covent Garden; and when he called for Sophie at seven, he did a double-take.
He’d first met the efficient businesswoman in her navy suit. Then he’d seen the softer side of Sophie, wearing jeans and a sweater and happy to do messy things with a child or take her to the park. And now he was seeing another side of her, in a little black dress and high heels with her hair in a sophisticated updo and red lipstick that he itched to kiss off her.
‘You look stunning,’ he said.
She inclined her head. ‘Thank you. You don’t scrub up too badly yourself.’
He held her hand all the way there in the back of the taxi. They walked hand in hand around the marketplace and enjoyed the Christmas lights and decorations.
‘We have to bring Sienna here,’ Sophie said, ‘to see this reindeer—she’ll love it.’
And Jamie loved the fact that Sophie thought of his daughter, even though they were out on a date.
The restaurant was full of fairy lights, and he could see how much she liked the ambience. He did, too.
‘It’s my first date in a long time,’ she said
.
‘Me, too,’ he said. ‘In fact, it’s my first “first” date in more than a decade.’
‘So what was your first date like with Fran?’ she asked.
And he really appreciated the fact that Sophie didn’t shy away from talking about his late wife. ‘Typical student thing. We went to see this super-arty play. I don’t think either of us worked out what was meant to be happening. And then this door on stage got stuck and the whole thing fell apart.’ He smiled at the memory. ‘We felt a bit guilty, but we sneaked out in the interval and went for a drink instead.’
‘Sounds like fun. And I know the kind of play you mean.’ She smiled. ‘I’ve seen a few of those in my time, too.’
‘I think I prefer the more commercial stuff,’ he said.
‘As a former English student, I ought to say I like the arty, impenetrable stuff best,’ she said. ‘But I agree with you. I like something with characters I can root for.’
‘Maybe,’ he said, ‘we could go to the theatre.’
‘I’d like that,’ she said. ‘But, as it’s Christmas, I’d vote for the panto. With Sienna. And popcorn.’
‘That sounds good, too.’
She reached over to squeeze his hand. ‘You don’t have to answer, but how did the counselling go yesterday?’
‘It’s early days,’ he said. ‘But I like the guy, he’s easy to talk to, and he’s given me a ton of homework to do before next week.’
‘That sounds positive,’ she said.
He nodded. ‘It’s not going to be an instant fix, but I want it to work so I’m going to put the effort in.’ For her sake and Sienna’s, as well as his own.
The rest of the evening went incredibly quickly, and Jamie was shocked by how late it was when he glanced at his watch. ‘Sorry. That was really selfish of me, considering it’s midweek and it’s Eva’s last day tomorrow.’
‘It’s fine,’ Sophie said with a smile. ‘I’ve really enjoyed tonight.’
And he really enjoyed taking her home and kissing her goodnight on the doorstep.
‘Can you sneak off for a couple of hours on Friday lunchtime?’ he asked. ‘It’s the nursery school concert and I know Sienna would love you to be there. Especially as you made her angel costume.’
‘Did you ask the grannies?’ she asked.
‘Strictly speaking, we’re only supposed to have two tickets per child for the concert,’ he said. ‘But I talked the nursery school manager into letting me have three extra tickets, in the circumstances.’
‘The grannies and Cindy?’ she asked.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Good. Okay. I’ll meet you there,’ she said, and gave him a lingering kiss. ‘Goodnight, Jamie. And thank you for tonight.’
He waited for her to go indoors and close the door, then headed for the tube.
And his heart felt lighter than it had in years.
* * *
On Friday, Jamie waited in the nursery school reception area with Cindy and the grannies. As he expected, Sophie turned up dead on time. She kissed him warmly, hugged Cindy, and then turned to the grannies. ‘Gwen and Rose. It’s so lovely to meet you properly.’
‘And you,’ Rose said, hugging her. ‘My niece Eva has told me so much about you, I feel I already know you.’
‘Jamie tells me nothing,’ Gwen said, ‘but Sienna’s said a lot.’ She smiled, and hugged Sophie too.
No inquisition from my mother? Jamie thought, surprised. But it was a relief, too.
They found their seats and Jamie laced his fingers through Sophie’s.
And the concert was magical.
Last year, he would’ve been wincing at the out of tune singing; this year, he found it charming. And, best of all, his little girl was standing on the stage in a white dress, with huge lacy angel wings trimmed in marabou and a headband with a marabou halo. Teamed with her golden curls, the effect was enough to make him have to blink back the tears.
Though he noticed there wasn’t a dry eye in the house after ‘Away in a Manger’ and then ‘Twinkle Twinkle’.
Christmas.
And this year was going to be a really, really special one.
After Sophie had gone back to work, Jamie’s mother took him to one side. ‘I’m not going to interfere,’ she said.
He gave her an arch look. His mother was the epitome of interference.
She noticed, and flapped a hand dismissively. ‘I know I’ve steamrollered you in the past, but I’ve learned from Sophie that there’s a better way of managing you. I just wanted to make sure you know she’s a keeper.’
He nodded. ‘I know.’
‘Good. Then I’ll leave you to do something about it.’
Given that he knew Sienna had video calls with both of her grandmothers, he asked, ‘I take it Sienna’s told you what she wants?’
‘She has,’ Gwen agreed. ‘And Rose and I think that child is wise beyond her years.’
‘She is,’ Rose said, coming over to them and clearly overhearing the last bit. ‘Jamie, you’re still a young man. Fran would understand. You’re not replacing her—you’re opening your life to someone new.’
‘Because love doesn’t just fit in a box. It grows,’ he said.
The grannies looked at each other. ‘He’s learning,’ Gwen said in a stage whisper.
* * *
Over the next few days, Jamie found his life changing even more. Somehow he’d agreed to spend Christmas Day with Sophie’s parents, Boxing Day with his and New Year’s Eve with Fran’s.
And Sophie was as warm and sweet when she went out with him and Sienna on a family day as she was when it was just the two of them. Having her back in his life made him realise how much the last two years had been lived in shadows and monochrome. With Sophie, he had the sunshine back and full colour. And it felt right.
He thought again about Sienna’s request. I want Sophie to be my mummy.
He wanted Sophie, too.
But he needed to show her how special she was to them. How it wasn’t going to be like her last two relationships, because this one was for keeps.
In the end, he hatched a plan with Sienna, and invited Sophie over for dinner on Christmas Eve. He made a tagine that could simmer happily without needing any attention; it would take only minutes to steam some green vegetables and cook some couscous. And then he and Sienna spent the afternoon making special shortbread biscuits in the shape of Christmas trees, iced them with melted chocolate, and used sparkly pink sprinkles to spell out each letter of their message.
He just hoped he was doing the right thing.
In every business deal he’d done in the last ten years, he’d known exactly what he was doing. This was fraught with unknowns.
He just had to trust to the wisdom of Santa and the black and white bear.
* * *
‘Merry Christmas,’ Sophie said when Jamie opened the door to her.
‘Merry Christmas.’
‘I brought special Christmas chocolates,’ she said, handing them to Sienna. ‘Reindeers.’
‘They’re so pretty!’ Sienna exclaimed.
Jamie kissed her. ‘Come and sit down.’
But when she tried to walk into the kitchen, Jamie ushered her into the dining room instead. ‘The kitchen’s out of bounds.’
‘Because it’s a secret,’ Sienna said importantly.
Sienna suppressed a grin. Clearly the little girl had helped make dessert and wanted it to be all fanfares and excitement. ‘Okay.’
Jamie had laid the table in the dining room for the three of them, including crackers, and he’d poured sparkling apple juice for Sienna as well as champagne for Sophie and himself.
‘That was fantastic,’ Sophie said when she’d finished her tagine. ‘I’ll help you clear away.’
‘No. You have to stay put,’ he said.
‘If you’re sure.’ She grinned. ‘You make a beautiful waiter, and that little smear of sparkles on the end of your nose is the perfect touch.’
He stared at her, looking shocked. ‘I’ve got sparkles on my face?’
Sienna giggled. ‘Pink ones, Daddy. They’ve been there all afternoon.’
He groaned. ‘Sienna, you could’ve told me.’
‘But you always say I look cute with flour on my face,’ she pointed out.
‘And I think you look cute with sparkles on your face,’ Sophie added with a grin.
He spread his hands. ‘I give in. The sparkles can stay.’
It was a lovely warm family moment that made Sophie want the rest of her days to be like that. But maybe she was being greedy.
Once he’d cleared the table, he returned to announce, ‘We have a very special pudding.’
Sienna looked anxious. ‘What if we drop it, Daddy?’
‘Do you think Sophie should come into the kitchen to see it, instead?’ he asked.
She nodded.
‘Okay. But we don’t want to spoil the surprise—Sophie, you have to close your eyes.’
‘Don’t worry. We’ll hold your hand so you won’t bump into anything,’ Sienna promised.
How could she resist? Sophie closed her eyes and let them take her hands and lead her into the kitchen.
‘Stand still and keep your eyes closed,’ he said.
She could hear rustling, then a dismayed, ‘Daddy, I smudged that one!’
‘It’s fine, she won’t mind,’ Jamie reassured Sienna.
‘Ta-da!’ Sienna said. ‘You can open your eyes now.’
She did. And what she saw on the kitchen table was a row of Christmas-tree shaped biscuits, each with a letter made out of sparkly pink sprinkles.
And together they spelled out ‘WILL YOU MARRY US?’ The W was smudged, as Sienna had said, but it didn’t matter. The words blurred as Sophie’s eyes filled with tears.
‘Sophie?’ Jamie asked. ‘Are you all right?’
She swallowed hard. ‘Yes, just a bit overwhelmed.’
‘Will you marry me and make a family with us?’ He dropped to one knee. ‘The ring’s temporary, because if you say yes I thought we could choose the ring together as a family. But for now...’ He offered her a small cardboard box that looked as if it was home-made.
