For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Troy,

  I’m glad you won me. I think you’ll teach me a lot about life in general and BDSM thoroughly. I’m not made out of porcelain like some doll you have to be careful with. I feel as if you think I’m breakable. I am not.

  There are things about me that you might think make we weak or fragile. For instance, I was left at a fire station when I was a tiny baby. I was naked, left in a box, and a storm was raging. It wasn’t known how long I’d been left outside and all thought it was a miracle that I survived.

  That’s pretty bad for a baby to go through, but I had even more going against me. I was born addicted to all kinds of things. Heroine was the worst of them. Alcohol was also on that list. That was the main reason I never consumed any alcohol before the wine I had last night. I’ll never use drugs, and I’ll only consume alcohol in small amounts. I do have to be careful with that.

  I wanted you to know that about me. I also think you should know that I’ve had trouble forming relationships. I’ve never bonded to anyone in my life. With that said, I hope you won’t be offended if I don’t connect with you in a normal way. I don’t know how to do that, and I don’t want you to think there’s anything wrong with you. It’s me, not you.

  Being more than a bit disjointed is normal to me. I don’t expect to ever love. If a person hasn’t experienced such an emotion in the first ten years of their life, loving someone is hard to do after that point. I don’t think you’ll fall in love with me. No one ever has before. But I wanted you to be aware of my shortcomings.

  With all that out in the open, I want you to know that I’m going to put my whole self into this thing. My mind, body, and I’ll attempt to get my soul invested as well. The truth is, my soul has never been something I’ve ever been conscious of. So we’ll see if I can manage that or not.

  While I have your attention, I want to say the things you did to me felt better than I expected them to and I can’t wait to feel more. I’m sure you can give me the experience I want and am happy about the chemistry we seem to have.

  Looking forward to a great Dom/Sub relationship,

  Blyss

  As I held that letter in my hand, it began to shake. My heart pounded and my eyes clouded with tears. The poor young woman had a lot behind that perfect shell she was in. I’d been right to assume there was more going on inside of her than most.

  She touted that she wasn’t breakable, but I knew she was absolutely breakable. And I had to admit to myself that I was afraid I’d hurt her, mentally. I made my way to the shower and found that my heart hurt so much for her. I wasn’t usually that emotional about other people. Hell, I wasn’t that emotional, period. But her letter had told me scores about the woman I’d won.

  My plan would have to be made with her special weaknesses in mind. And I’d have to put my own shit aside for her. This summer wouldn’t be about me at all. It would be all about her, but I couldn’t let her know that.

  My job was cut out for me, and I had to succeed in helping her learn more about life and love than I had ever imagined doing. Somehow, I had to get her to open herself up to love, but just not fall in love with me.

  That was going to be a chore!

  Blyss

  Troy had khaki shorts and a white T-shirt with a pair of sneakers sent to my hotel room for me to dress in. I put my hair in two braids that hung on either side of my head and left the makeup off. He did say we’d be going camping and I didn’t think makeup went into that equation.

  I waited for him to come get me, watching some television as I sat on the sofa and sipped on a bottle of water. My hunger was more prevalent than I’d ever experienced. I guessed it was from the sexual activity of the night before. A craving for pancakes filled me, and I was happy when a knock came at the door.

  Bouncing my way to it, I was excited to go eat, see Troy again, and get our day rolling. I opened the door open, saw his freshly shaven face, and had to smile. “Hi.”

  He stepped inside and let the door close behind him as he pulled me into his arms. “Damn, baby. You look even better without makeup.” He kissed me with what started out as a sweet kiss, with only a touch of tongue. I wrapped my arms around him and found myself no longer hungry for pancakes. I wanted him!

  We turned and he pushed me up against the door. I picked my legs up and wrapped them around him. A moan began deep in my throat when his bulge pressed against my mound that was beginning to pulse with the same need it had the night before. All I wanted was for him to give me another orgasm. And right then!

  Instead, he eased the kiss. Our breathing was hard and raspy as he leaned his forehead against mine. “Damn, baby. Good morning.”

  “Good morning,” I echoed him.

  He pushed my legs back down and pecked me on the cheek. “Let’s go eat. We have shopping to do, plus we need to get food and other things for camping. There’s a lot to get done today. Go grab your purse and let’s get going.”

  I went to the bedroom and got my purse. I’d been sure to take my birth control pill that morning and ensure I had three packets for the summer months. I double checked the room and bathroom, leaving nothing behind, and returned to find Troy standing by the large window. The light made him glow and I found my heart skipping a beat. We were in perfect harmony, as our clothes matched—white T-shirts and similar khakis—except for his hiking boots. Somehow he made all that look hot as sin.

  “I’m ready.”

  He turned to look at me and the smile he wore made my stomach tense. Taking my hand, he led me out of the room to start our day. As we stood in the empty elevator, he ran his arm around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. “Thanks for the letter, Blyss. I’m glad you told me those things.”

  Embarrassment tingled inside of me like it always did when I let anyone know my humble beginnings. “I hope you understand me a little better now. I know I’m an odd duck.”

  “You’re great,” he said, then tugged my chin up to look at him. “I want that to be the first thing you let go. You are not odd. You’re Blyss, and she’s a cool chick.”

  He was great and I couldn’t stop the smile from peeking out. “You’re sweet. I’ll try not to think that way about myself, but it’s been a long time that I have, and people have agreed with that.”

  “I don’t care about how you’ve been perceived by idiots. I only care how you perceive yourself. You’re one hot woman and you have a hell of a brain. There’s nothing odd about that.” The elevator doors opened and we stepped off.

  The lobby was bustling with activity, much more so than it had been when we’d come in. Troy held my hand as we went to the reception desk and he checked us both out. His bag was brought down and his Jeep was brought around, and we headed away in no time at all.

  “What kind of breakfast are you hungry for, Blyss?”

  “Pancakes.” I was still hungry for him, but he seemed to have another agenda that morning.

  He stopped at a chain restaurant, where we ate, then he took me to a sporting goods store where he bought me a weeks’ worth of clothing and a few more camping items he said he didn’t have. Then we were on our way out to the woods. With the windows down, the air flowed around us. I loved the way everything smelled. Troy and I didn’t talk much, as the sounds of the road and the wind made it difficult to hear without us shouting at one another.

  I liked the quiet comfortable solitude between us. The idea of hanging out in the woods with this man was turning me on. I’d never been so sexually preoccupied before. That’s literally all I could think about. Troy and I fucking in the tent, in the lake, in the grass, or on a rock. I was kind of a nympho, and it hit me that my mother was probably one too.

  Shit! Did I have to watch out or I’d become addicted to sex? Was that one of the many things that ran through me that I had to be careful of? Would sex be a thing I could only have in moderation?

  I hoped not!

  The trees that lined both sides of the road where tall and pretty and I tried to focus on them instead of my
pulsing pussy that just wanted Troy’s cock planted so deep inside of it that I’d feel like he was part of me.

  Counting trees was impossible—there were too many of them. So I tried to count the yellow stripes on the road. Troy slowed down and we took a turn, taking us to a small road that led into the forest. “Here we go, Blyss. It’s not far now.”

  There was a large trash container and it had a heavy lock on it, along with a sign that showed a bear and an X over it. “There’re bears here, huh?”

  “This is where they live, honey. And wolves too. But you’re safe with me.”

  Nervous laughter escaped as I searched the thick trees for any signs of the killers that lived there. With my luck, I’d finally get laid, it would be the happiest moment in my life, then a bear and a wolf would join forces to eat me alive.

  Troy took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I looked at him and tried to act unafraid. “I trust you.”

  “Good.” He kissed my hand. “I love the outdoors. My parents call me Tarzan.”

  “Good to know. I hope that means you have his unique ability to talk to animals and make them not eat me.”

  His eyes went heavy as he growled, “The only thing that will be eating you is me, princess.”

  I made a little gasp and went wet with the thought. “Oh!”

  “Oh,” he said, and his eyes got big as he licked his lips.

  My entire body quivered, and I thought it might be possible for the man to make me orgasm with just his sexy look and the way he made noises. “You’re really good at what you do.”

  “How so?” he asked as he took another turn, taking us even deeper into the forest.

  “Like, you’re sexy, and you make me, um, horny. I guess that’s the best word for it.” I blushed a bit with my honesty. I’d never felt anything like what I was feeling. It was odd, but a great odd.

  “I make you horny?” He laughed and it echoed through the forest. “Good, because you make me horny too. I plan on taking you all over this forest, Blyss. What do you think about that?”

  My eyes nearly rolled up in my head, as he and I were on the same wavelength. Both of us wanted to fuck all over the place. I was beginning to think we’d do little else than that and I liked that idea. Screw the fishing and swimming, let’s just fuck! But we had lots to do before we got to that, I found out when he parked the Jeep under a big tree and we had to set up camp. That took forever, and we were both hot and sweaty when we were done.

  Thankfully, it was secluded and there was the lake only steps away from us. “I think we should take a dip before we start making lunch,” he said.

  I started going toward the tent to put on my bathing suit and found he had me in his arms. “Hey!” He let me go, only to grab the bottom of my T-shirt and pull it off. Then my bra was the next thing to go, and he made short work of the rest of my clothes. I was naked, standing in front of him, and not a bit of shame was in me.

  He held up his arms, and I rid him of his shirt. His shoes were kicked off as I helped him with his shorts. When he was naked, I took a step back to look him over and appreciate his body. “So muscular.” Before I knew it, he had picked me up and was taking me into the lake, which I found out was frigid. I shrieked with the abrupt change in temperature, and he tossed me away from him, sending me under water.

  I freaked out for only a brief second. My feet touched the rocky bottom and I found I could stand up. I was glad he didn’t have to see me losing my shit, but I felt he needed to be reminded. “I can’t swim, Troy. Don’t forget that.”

  “I haven’t forgotten.” He came to me and held me tight. “Put your arms around my neck and hold on. I’m going to take you for a swim.” I held on and he leaned back, swimming backward. My body was laid out on top of his. The cold water hadn’t dampened my libido a bit, and it helped that his dick wasn’t in an erect state. If it had been, I’d probably have been trying to ride it.

  “You like it out here?” he asked me.

  I looked around at the tall cliffs that surrounded the lake. The green trees formed a ring around the blue water and it looked like something out of a travel guide. “I do like it here.”

  A fish jumped beside us and I must’ve looked surprised. “The fish live in the water, baby.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “Have you ever been in a lake?” He turned in a circle and headed back to the shore.

  “I’ve been to a lake on a field trip. I’ve never gotten in the water, though. This is the first time for me.”

  “I think it’s cool that I’ll be a part of so many of your firsts, Blyss. First time in the lake, first time camping, and first time fishing.”

  “And my first.” I kissed him. I knew I wasn’t following any of the Sub rules Isabel had told me about. According to her, I was supposed to wait for my Dom to do all things. I wasn’t even supposed to undress myself unless he told me to do that. In my opinion, from what she’d said, I was to act mindless.

  I could’ve acted that way, but there was something about the way Troy acted that let me know I didn’t have to portray a typical sub. He was fine with me being me. For the first time ever, someone was okay with that. As I looked into his hazel eyes that had a lot of green in them at that moment, I thought about how I had thought things would be going for me. I’d envisioned a dark room where some masked man would have me strung up, whipping me, then tending to my wounds before he took me.

  I was glad I was in a lake with a man who looked at me with care in his eyes instead. But the truth was, I was more than ready to get to the good stuff. I wanted to feel a belt wrap around my ass with the power of his hand. If that made me weird, so be it.

  Troy

  The day passed with us playing in the water, skinny dipping most of the day away and making out a few times. Blyss was smoking hot for me. Everything about her told me that. It wasn’t that I wasn’t used to women wanting me, but Blyss was a virgin with a tight-as-shit vagina. And I was packing some real heat. I knew I’d hurt her if I plowed into her the way she seemed to want me to.

  Her inexperience was the only reason she was trying to jump the gun. I had a plan in mind and waited until after a dinner of freshly-caught trout to take her into the tent and begin the descent into sexual relations with her. The vibrator I’d brought was light pink and it could heat up as well as vibrate. I pulled it out of the bag I had it in and showed it to her. She ran her hands over it as I held it. “This is half the size I am. I’ll get you stretched to this size before I go any further.”

  Her eyes were glistening as she looked at me. “Troy, please don’t make me wait another night to feel you inside of me.”

  Caressing her cheek with the back of my hand, I wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted. “Baby, you’ll get me tonight. I promise. But we have to go slow.”

  She bit her lip as she lowered her head. “And can you spank me?”

  I was taken aback by her request. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re not ready.”

  She blinked rapidly. “Not a lot. Just a few times. Like, lay me over your lap and give me a few. I just want to see what if feels like.”

  She had me so fucking hot for her, I found it nearly impossible to do things slowly. But I held onto myself and found the strength to do it. “I can do that. But we need to go ahead and establish a safe word. Stop won’t work.”

  “And why is that?” she asked with the innocence of a child.

  I made her lie back as I trailed my fingers up the inside of her leg. “Because there will be times that things get so intense that you’ll beg me to stop. But if I did stop, then you’d hate it. Your mind plays little tricks on you and so does your body. Some women try to get away when they orgasm. But once they’re held tight, and the man keeps going, the orgasm can go on and on.”

  “Oh, okay. I might say stop, but I won’t mean it. That’s interesting. How about another word that’s kind of like that, then? Say, desist?”

  “No, that’ll be too hard to remem
ber. I like to use cherry. Will that work for you?” My hand went flat on her cunt and I found she was already getting hot for me.

  “Yeah, cherry will work for me.”

  I kissed her lightly on the mouth, then picked her up and turned her over my lap. “I’m going to give you three strikes, Sub.” I chuckled, then ran my hand in circles all over her ass. “Can you tell me why I’m giving you this punishment?”

  “And what am I supposed to say?”

  “Well, you’re supposed to tell me why you’re getting them. This time, it’s because you asked me for them. There might be a time that you get them because you did something that needs correcting and I’ll add in the punishment so you’ll remember the correction. Let’s say that I told you to take the trash down to the dumpster before it gets dark. And let’s say you ignored my request and a bear came to our campsite and tore the trash up, then I had to get up the next morning and pick it all up because you didn’t do what I told you to do.”

  “Why does it have to be about a bear?” she moaned. “Now I’m thinking a bear might really come tonight.” She looked at me over her shoulder. “What if our sex makes some bear horny and he wants to join us?”

  “It’s never happened to me before, Blyss. But, anyway, do you get what I’m saying? If you don’t do what I say, I might spank you or something like that, and then you’d answer me with what you did wrong.”

  “Okay,” she said, then turned her head away. “I’m getting punished because I asked you to spank me.”

  “That’s right. Good girl.” I rubbed her ass some more, then gave her a light pop.

  “Harder, please,” came her response.

  I did it harder, but not too hard. “Count them off, Sub.”

  “One, but can you do it harder?”

  I shook my head in disbelief as I raised my hand up high and came down on her ass with a hard smack. She yelped, then made a little mewling sound. “Two.”

  Seeing she liked that hard, I gave her another. “And that’s three,” I said.