For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “Not a hell of a lot, but we’ll make sure he’s kept alive so he can face the charges we’ll bring against him.” Grant left me, then, with a pat on the back and a smile. He called out over his shoulder, “She’ll be okay. Take good care of her. She’s tougher than she looks.”

  I prayed he was right and I was wrong. I didn’t think she was tough. I thought she was like a porcelain doll—one I hadn’t taken care of well enough.

  As we rode in the ambulance, I couldn’t think. One of the paramedics asked, “Is there anyone you should be calling? Her parents or any other family?”

  I shook my head. “She has no one. No one except me.”

  “Okay. Can you get started on this paperwork, then? That way the doctors can get right to work on her. The lacerations are over some of her vital internal organs. I’m sure they’ll want to take her into surgery and have the blood transfusion permission paper signed by the responsible party.”

  I got to work on the papers that were stacked on a clipboard, but hated that I couldn’t hold her hand while I did it. I was taking responsibility for her. She could count on me to make sure everything was done for her. I was all she had. When we got to the emergency room, things went in a rushed fashion. Three doctors looked at her as she was wheeled down a long hallway. The lead paramedic shot off all this medical jargon that helped them form their plan of action.

  I walked along with them, never letting her hand go and quietly whispering to her as we went, “I love you. I’m here for you. I am with you, Blyss. You stay with me. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise that. Just come back to me. Please don’t leave me. I’ll make your life a fantasy. I love you.”

  We got to the doors of the operating room and I was left behind as the rest of them went in with my heart and soul on the gurney. Turning around in a circle, I found a bathroom and staggered into it. There, I fell completely apart. I threw up, cried, threw up some more, and shouted at the top of my lungs that I’d kill that mother fucker who’d done that to her. Then I washed my face, ran my wet hands through my hair, and wiped everything away with a paper towel.

  As I looked in the mirror, I said to myself, “That was it. Your one moment of weakness. You get no more of that. You are to stay strong for your woman. Never have doubt that she will make it through this. Never!”

  When I left that bathroom, I found Grant waiting in the hallway just outside the OR. “They told me they took her straight into surgery. The cops picked up the man. His name is Roger Parker. He’s from New Jersey. He’s been a member for three months and had no prior charges. I have no idea why he did what he did, but he’ll never leave prison alive, I can promise you that, Troy.”

  I nodded and saw a small waiting room with glass walls. “Let’s go in there and wait. That way they’ll see me when they come out with any news of her.”

  He and I went to the room and took seats. There was a brightly-lit vending machine full of sodas. Another one had all kinds of snacks in it, and I found myself wondering who the hell could eat or drink when someone they loved was in the operating room.

  Grant was the best company a man could have during that six-hour wait. He was quiet. He was a man who knew what other men needed—to be quiet, but know someone is there for him. When the doctor came in, I had a hard time not grabbing him and squeezing every bit of information about Blyss out of him. “How is she? Is she awake? When can I see her?”

  The doctor put his hand on my shoulder. “She has a cut on her liver, bruised kidneys, and many, many lacerations on her back and sides, including her buttocks and the backs of her legs and arms. Her wrists and ankles are both bruised and cut where she pulled against what seems like ropes. We know where she was brought from. Did she consent to be treated that way?”

  “NO!” Grant and I both shouted.

  “That’s not a part of what goes on there,” Grant said. “This is an uncommon situation. This has never happened in all the years the club has been open. The man who did this was taken into custody and the owners, me being one of them, are pressing every charge that can be brought up on him.”

  “And what are you going to do to prevent anything like this from happening again?” the doctor asked as he crossed his arms, looking at Grant with disapproval.

  “We’ve closed the club down for now, until we can make the rooms more easily accessible and also keep guards in the hallway with monitors to make sure this never happens again.” Grant put his hand on my shoulder. “I promise you, this will change a lot at the club, Troy. We’ll never allow this to happen again.”

  I was reeling from how the doctor was treating us, as if we’d hurt her. If he was acting that way, how would the police treat us?

  The doctor turned his attention to me. “Do you plan on suing the club for what happened to your girlfriend?”

  Grant went pale and I shook my head. “Not right now, I don’t. This is an unprecedented thing that happened. Can we please get back to Blyss and how she is? When can I see her?”

  “She’s going to be in intensive care for a while. A few days. Maybe more. We have her in a medically-induced coma. When internal organs are involved, it helps to keep her completely immobile. The only way to do that is by keeping her asleep. You can visit her only twice a day for five minutes each visit. Her times are nine in the morning and six in the evening. And only family members are allowed to visit.”

  “She has no family at all,” I told him. “I’m it.”

  “And you aren’t family. Sorry, buddy. You can ask at the nurses’ station at the ICU about her condition. When she’s moved to a room, you’ll be able to have visits with her.”

  My brain was spinning as I tried to think about what I could say that would allow me to see her, even if it was for only ten minutes a day. “She and I are fiancés. Isn’t that right, Grant?”

  He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, they’d just told everyone the great news.”

  “She didn’t have a ring on her finger. Nor a tan line where one had been. Not that it would matter. Still not family if you’re not married. Engagements don’t count.” Then he turned and walked away.

  Grant shouted to stop him, “We need to know if she was raped. Was there any semen inside of her?”

  I held my breath as I waited for the answer. Grant put his hand on my back to steady me as the doctor turned around. “We found semen on her back. But not any of her cavities. She was not anally or vaginally raped. And you both should thank God for that little miracle. Keep your women safe, gentlemen, and I use that term loosely.”

  I had to lean against the wall as relief washed over me. “He didn’t manage to get to her.”

  “I wasn’t sure if he had or not. The camera caught him moving behind her, but it wasn’t apparent from behind if he was making contact or not. I guess he was rubbing himself on her back, sick mother fucker.” Grant shook his head, then went on. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride back to the club. You can still stay in the apartment. We closed off the club, but that side is still open.”

  I had no choice but to leave the hospital without seeing her. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, walking away without even looking at her face one time. But I had no other choice.

  Nothing had ever hurt me more than I hurt that night. And nothing ever would.

  Troy

  An entire week went by with Blyss being kept in the coma. The news was all over the club. I had moved out of it and into a hotel room. The media was eating us all alive. Our faces were plastered everywhere, as sexual deviants. Even the BDSM community at large was against us. Every time I turned on the television, there was some man or woman dressed in shiny black leather, telling how nothing like that had ever happened in their clubs or in their little circles. Everyone pointed fingers at the owners.

  Grant was trying hard to hold on, as were the other owners. Things looked bad for them—much worse than the Doms and Subs had it. I was next in line after the owners to be getting the most flack about being in the club and not protecting
the woman who was mine to care for. No one had their stories straight. One reporter called Blyss my love slave, another my torture subject. It was all way out of hand and it made going to the hospital impossible.

  I called every day and night to see if Blyss had been taken off the medication that had her staying asleep. I was sitting by the window one day, looking out of it and praying Blyss would recover a lot more quickly, when I got a call from Grant. “Turn on the news, Troy.”

  I grabbed the remote and turned it on. There was my sleeping Blyss. “How the hell do they have a camera on her?”

  “Some nurse is allowing them to film, looking through the outside of the glass,” he told me.

  I listened as the reporter said, “Blyss Danner is a young woman of only twenty-two years old. She’s a psychology major at Stanford University in California. Her grades are excellent and she was in the prime of her life when tragedy struck her down. Blyss Danner had signed herself up to become the Submissive partner to a man she’d never met. Troy Masterson won her with the highest bid. The young woman wasn’t an active participant in the world of BDSM. Far from it. Blyss Danner was a virgin in every way. The poor thing never stood a chance when the man who took her, making her do whatever he wanted her to do, out in the forests of Oregon. In that lifestyle, the young girl was his to protect, but he failed her. In so many ways, he failed her. He hasn’t been seen at the hospital at all since she was first brought in. Abandoned by the man she sold herself to, we have ourselves a real life sleeping beauty. Men from all over the world have been calling the hospital, leaving messages for the young woman, telling her they will care for her when she wakes up. They all want her to leave the man who brought her to such a terrible world.”

  I turned off the television as anger boiled inside me. “They don’t know shit!”

  “I thought you needed to see that, Troy. Were you serious about marrying her?” Grant asked me.

  “I was.”

  “I suggest you get a ring and be ready when she wakes up. It sounds like an entire world of men will be seeking her company. Marry the girl or you’ll lose her.”

  I ended the call as his words rang in my ear. ‘Marry her or you’ll lose her.’

  I knew he was right, too.

  I had told my parents about everything before the news traveled too far. They were shocked and disappointed, but they had my back and promised not to believe any of the crap on television. And they both made me promise to bring her home with me when she was out of the hospital. My mother wasn’t going to have it any other way. She’d nurse her back to health, and I was not to leave Blyss’ side unless she sent me away. And even then, mom would still take care of her.

  Dad asked me about my intentions with Blyss, to which I told him I wanted to marry her. He told me I should get to that, then. With my family on my side, I made a call and got the biggest diamond ring I could find from the best jewelry store in Portland. In only a couple of days, I had the ring in my possession and was only waiting for my sleeping beauty to wake up. In the meantime, I made my way to the hospital every morning and every night. I didn’t care about the reporters who were camped out in the parking lot. I smiled and waved at the bastards.

  “She’s my love, guys. Sorry.”

  That ring stayed with me. If I caught her awake, I wasn’t about to wait to ask her the big question. I wanted things to be solid between us. And I wasn’t about to let her hem haw around about it while millions of men sought her attention. Finally, the day arrived when I caught the doctors leaving her room in the ICU. I stayed back so they wouldn’t see me and I could listen in. One of the doctors was talking to a nurse.

  “The medication is to be stopped. Monitor her pain levels and keep us informed of any changes in her vital signs. One of us will be back in a few hours to see how things are going.”

  She was being taken off the drugs!

  I was set to stay put until she was awake. Maybe, if she asked for me, they’d let me go into her room. Even if all they’d allow me to do was to look at her through the window, I’d take it. After the doctors had cleared out, I went into the small waiting area by the nurses’ desk. Sitting quietly, I watched and counted the nurses that were in there. Five of them were watching over Blyss and the other three patients who were under their protection.

  “You guys are a lot like angels,” I said to try to break the ice.

  “That’s been said before,” one of the female nurses responded to me.

  Not many of the hospital staff were fans of mine. I was the big, bad man who took the little girl to the bad place. If they only knew how much I hadn’t wanted to take her there, then things might’ve been different. I wasn’t about to go spouting off that Blyss wanted to be there. Pointing the finger at the victim isn’t a smart thing to do. But I did plan on letting Blyss know she’d never be stepping foot in a place like that again. Not ever!

  I wasn’t going to lay a hand on her again, but I was going to exert my authority over her in other ways. Like making her let me take care of her. And love her. And worship the ground she walked on. In those regards, I’d stay her Dom.

  Three hours later, one of the nurses came out and gave me a little smile. “She said your name, Troy.”

  I jumped up and begged, “Please let me see her! Please! I’ll give you a million dollars if you’ll just sneak me in to see her!”

  She nurse looked around, then wiggled her finger at me. “I don’t want your money. But I will give you a tiny bit of information. The night nurses will be coming in soon. There are scrubs in the closet that’s just outside of the bathroom over there. I’ll put the name, Physician’s Assistant Tad Stevens, down in the book, making evaluations for the Surgeons’ General Office. Maybe you’ll be able to pull off a little visit after we get off. Best if you’re not sitting here, waiting, when the night shift comes in.”

  With a nod, I turned to leave. Taking a look at the closet, I turned back to find she was looking away on purpose. Going to it, I grabbed a set of scrubs out and covered them with the blanket I’d brought for Blyss if she did wake up. I was set to make a visit. I just had to wait around for another three hours, then I could finally get to her. I was a ball of energy, to say the least.

  The hours ticked by slower than maple syrup in the winter. But finally, I saw the first shift of ICU nurses leaving the hospital from my strategic location near the lobby bathrooms. I had changed a few minutes earlier and had hidden my clothes under the sink in the bathroom. I had the ring in the pocket of my scrubs and was heading to see Blyss. My heart was pounding with each step I took.

  It was almost midnight, the hospital was dim, and no one was around except an old security guard who was already snoring as I passed by him. Not that I was worried about him. I was under cover in my scrubs after all. The night shift was quietly whispering as I came into the ICU waiting room. I acted like I was tired, yawning and stretching. “Hey, guys. Tad Stevens from Surgeons’ General …”

  “Yeah, man, sign the book and do what you gotta do. We just started our shifts. We have shit to do,” one of the nurses told me. “The paperwork on one of our comas is like a mountain.”

  I nodded, scribbled the name in indiscernible writing, then headed down the hallway to find my lady. I found her watching television as she laid in bed. Her eyes were wide open and I nearly fell to my knees in thanks to the Lord above.

  “Blyss,” I hissed as I came into her room.

  She looked at me for a second before a smile moved over her lips. “Troy!”

  Her heart monitor sped up and I put my finger to my lips. “Stay calm, baby. I snuck in here to see you.”

  “I’ve been asking for you since I first woke up. They told me only family could come in. I can’t believe you did this. Weren’t you afraid you’d get caught?” She tried to pick up her hand, but was too weak to do it. “I can barely move. They said I’ll have to start therapy in a few days.”

  “I’ve missed you,” I said as I ran my hand over her cheek. “I love you, B
lyss. Can you ever forgive me?”

  She looked at me with blank eyes. “For what?”

  “You do know what happened to you, right?”

  “Was I in an auto accident? The doctors won’t tell me any more than that I was brought here in bad shape. They had to do surgery to fix me up, and they’ll tell me more when I’m ready to hear it.” Her eyes roamed over my face. “How was it you weren’t hurt too? I had to have been riding with you.”

  “You weren’t in an accident. But I don’t want to get into that right now. If the doctors think it’s better to wait, then I’m not about to go against their suggestion.” A sigh escaped as I looked at her. “You have no idea how good it is to see you awake.”

  “How long have I been asleep?” she asked as she looked passed me. One of the nurses came in and was looking at all her lines and wires. “Hello, I’m Blyss Danner.”

  The male nurse smiled at her. “I know. I’ve been taking care of you for a little over a week. It’s good to see you awake. How do you feel on a scale of one to ten?”

  “Um, some things hurt on me. My stomach feels sore, my back is aching, and my throat is sore and dry. Anything we can do about all that?” For a woman in that much pain, she was in good spirits. I was more than a bit surprised.

  “I’ll give you a dose of morphine.” The nurse left to get the drug, and I suddenly recalled the fact the Blyss had been addicted to a lot of things when she was born.

  “Try not to take too many painkillers, baby. You do remember your problem when you were a baby, right?” I ran my hand over her arm and couldn’t help but notice the red whelps that were still on the back of it. My heart stuttered as I tried to hold back my anger at the man who did that to her.

  “Do you think I should tell him not to give me anything? It didn’t occur to me that they don’t know my history. I’m glad you snuck in here. I really could use you here, Troy. I’m so weak, and I’m bored to pieces. Could you bring me some books or something?”

  “I’ll bring you an e-reader in the morning, and you can order all the books you want. I’ll set up an account on it. Maybe if you tell your doctors you need me, they’ll decide to allow me in. But it won’t be for long periods of time. Five minutes in the morning and five in the evening.”