For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “No, I hadn’t. Because I’m a terrible person.” David sounded defeated, which matched with the subtle movement of rubbing his eyes that I’d seen. I could almost swear he didn’t know he’d done it.

  “I didn’t get the whole story from Theodore,” I admitted. “He didn’t exactly talk a lot about, well, much of anything. But he tried to call you the night before he died.”

  “I know,” I could barely hear David speaking and had to lean forward again to pick up his words at all. “I didn’t take the call. I was too scared.”

  In my experience, that wasn’t the sort of thing men admitted to very often—being scared. Especially not strong, attractive billionaires. It got my attention, to say the least.

  Then he started speaking, and I felt the same pain—the same pressure building up in my heart as I had when Theodore had spoken to me the night before he’d died.

  “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him too.”

  Nine words. That was all it took for him to turn my heart inside out, to make me feel like someone had stabbed me right in the stomach. And he didn’t stop there.

  “I was such a coward,” he confessed, his voice still almost too soft to hear. “When my dad died, everything about my grandpa reminded me of him. My dad, he looked a lot like me, and my grandpa was the spitting image of both of us. I couldn’t even hear him talk without wanting to shut down.”

  Why was he telling me all of this? I didn’t know, but I couldn’t make myself stop him—not for anything. Maybe he was telling me because he needed to tell someone and it was sort of flattering that he was trusting me with all of this.

  “I’m sorry,” I broke in gently, when it became clear that he was gathering his thoughts.

  He shook his head and his eyes were bleak, the shimmer in them almost gone when he spoke again.

  “You have no reason to be sorry. It was all my choice. It’s on me. I was too scared to be hurt, and because of it, now I really have lost everyone and everything.”

  I thought of myself as a pretty good judge of character, and the way he was speaking to me, I found I believed him. Once more, I couldn’t think of a single reason he would bother lying to me. Why would he take the time, when I was sure he was a busy man?

  “I wish …” His voice broke and he finally looked away from me, seemingly utterly defeated. “I just wish I could build a time machine. I wish I could go back to the past and live it all again.”

  I had to swallow around a lump in my throat and my eyes threatened to tear up. The story was so tragic and I knew I was only getting the first parts of it. With nothing more than a brief hesitation, I shifted over onto the couch and reached out to touch his hand.

  It was very forward of me, but I found myself eager to provide some sort of comfort. This man wasn’t one of my patients, but he was obviously suffering, and I couldn’t just sit around and not try to help.

  “You can tell me if you want to,” I told him, holding his hand firmly in mine. He gripped onto it like I was a lifeline. “You can tell me everything. I’ll listen. I don’t know what else I can do, but I can at least do that.”

  He shot me a sad little smile that made my heart break for him even more and, still holding my hand, he started to speak.

  David

  Sitting on her little sofa, I felt odd. I was actually telling her the truth about myself. I had meant to, but it still felt weird as the words flowed out of me with ease. Kaye was remarkably easy to confess things to. It was part of the plan for me to expose my true self, making myself so completely vulnerable. The thing that shocked me the most was how much it hurt to talk about all of it.

  I’d spent hours trying to figure out what sort of story I was going to give her to get her sympathy. After all, you can’t just call a woman a bitch and then expect her to welcome you back with open arms. So what was I going to say to get her to forgive me for that?

  I’d settled on the truth. It was easier to remember than a lie, for one thing. I wouldn’t need to keep a fancy lie straight in my head.

  I hadn’t realized just how much it would hurt to talk about these things with an actual living human being. I’d spent so long—twelve years—trying not to even think about any of them, even to myself.

  And there she was, with her small hand gently wrapped around my fingers, telling me that I could tell it all. Which was, of course, just what I’d wanted. I wanted to work on her sympathies and this was the perfect chance to do so.

  It was also just good to talk—to say these things that I’d kept hidden for so long. Maybe I’d needed to get all of this out of the depths of my own head. It wasn’t why I was doing any of this, of course, but it was still nice.

  So I did. I talked about things I had never said out loud before. Things I hadn’t so much as thought about before. Kaye hadn’t said much, yet she seemed to be able to pull things out of me no one ever had. Not even any of my friends.

  “I was seventeen when my dad died, but before that, my mom left. I barely remember her.” I found my hands clenching at each other, the fingers fiddling together with my nerves, and I glanced up at Kaye. “May I have some water or something to drink?”

  I wasn’t thirsty, but I wanted to get my hands to stop dancing together.

  “I’m so sorry. I should have offered.” Kaye got up, and I heard the fridge open. Seconds later, she came back with a bottle of water, which I accepted gratefully.

  “Do you know why she left?” Kaye prompted, and I realized I’d let myself get lost in my head again. It was a bit of a habit with me.

  “There was another man.” I opened the bottle of water, drinking a little bit of it down. “She walked out, and I never saw her again. I don’t want to see her again. She destroyed my dad.”

  She nodded, and I drank more water that I didn’t really want, just to give myself a chance to get myself back together.

  “So, when my dad died in the car accident, I felt like …it’s stupid.” I looked at her and then glanced down at my hands, which clenched at the water bottle desperately.

  “Tell me, if you want to,” she invited, and her voice was soothing. I could tell she was a hell of a nurse—she had the caring act down.

  No one was as sweet as she was pretending to be. I didn’t buy it. She might act like Pollyanna, but I didn’t think—not for a second—it could be genuine.

  “I felt alone. Like I had to do everything on my own.” I sighed softly. “That’s why I didn’t go see my grandfather. I knew he was going to leave me, too, but now …”

  For a second my voice cut out, and I had to wait for a second for it to come back before I could speak again.

  That was weird.

  My emotions that I kept in check were coming forward. I wasn’t sure I liked that.

  She patted my thigh reassuringly. “That’s okay, David. I know it’s hard and it hurts. Please, go on.”

  She was so fucking sweet and understanding that it made me crazy. “Now it’s true. I have no one, and it’s my fault.”

  She had let go of my hand when she had reached to get a drink of her own bottle of water, but she took it again now, and I frowned a little bit.

  What was up with this lady, anyway?

  It was almost convincing. If I didn’t have a sort of instinctive distrust of women, I might have even believed she was as pure and sweet as she was trying to appear.

  Those green eyes of hers—a man could drown in them. If he let himself …which I had no intention of doing.

  Her fingers tightened around mine, and I had to fight to keep myself from showing a reaction. I had wondered what would happen if she didn’t fall for this act, but I didn’t think that was going to be an issue.

  Not when I was pretty sure I’d figured out her game.

  “Anyway,” I said, forcing a brave smile. “That’s all in the past. I’m doing okay now. I got through college and my tech business is doing better every year. I just …I guess I just wanted you to know why I was such a jerk to you.”

 
; She gave my fingers one more gentle squeeze, then let go of them. My hand felt empty and odd. “No, I was glad to hear it. I’m glad you told me.”

  Time to disarm her a little bit more. I looked deliberately around the small apartment and then spoke, as though hesitant. “You don’t need to live here anymore. You could move into grandpa’s house. It’s yours, isn’t it?”

  I wanted her to think I was fine with her taking what my grandfather had left to her. Why not show that by gently pushing her to do it? If I played my cards right, soon she would not even remember how I’d reacted the day at the reading of the will.

  Let her think I wasn’t even interested in the money. She would soon think it had just been the stress of losing someone I cared about that had caused it. It was even partially true. The money I cared about only insofar as it could help me get revenge on her, and, of course, I wanted it to really launch Black Tech into prominence.

  “I didn’t think about that,” Kaye commented, and I could almost believe it. I thought she was probably just caught up in appearances. She didn’t want people to talk about her and say she was nothing but a femme fatale.

  The gold digging, money-grubbing whore.

  “You should move,” I repeated and rose to my feet. I’d done enough for one day, I figured. “And, if you’d like, I’d like to see you again.”

  The more I thought about it, the surer I was. It didn’t make any sense at all that my grandfather would leave everything to her. Not unless she was very good at getting people to do what she wanted.

  “So you think that she actually manipulated your grandfather into it?” Brent asked. I’d gone right to his house after leaving Kaye’s, with both of us promising to stay in touch. I thought she would probably even move like I’d suggested. That would be a good thing because I wasn’t sure I could stay in that teeny apartment without getting claustrophobic.

  I was going to be seeing her quite a lot, after all.

  “Yeah, I do. But it gets worse,” I said, looking at him gloomily. “I’m pretty damn sure she was setting her sights on my money next.”

  “Oh my God. Are you serious?” Brent asked, and I thought back to the conversation, nodding my head emphatically.

  “I’m serious and I’m sure.” I smirked a little. “She kept giving me these little looks, and she held my hand to show me how very sorry she was about my grandfather’s death.”

  Brent winced sympathetically.

  “Oh, God. Yeah. That sounds like she’s gold digging.” He shook his head. “There’s a reason I don’t have much to do with women. They’re all like that.”

  I nodded. That had been my experience too. I’d never met a woman who didn’t try to get something out of me.

  “Well, that’s good news for you, right?” Brent’s lips tugged up at the corners with his amusement. “I mean, she wants your money and she doesn’t know that you want hers. You have the upper hand there.”

  I smirked right back at him and nodded. He was right, after all.

  “She won’t know what hit her,” I agreed.

  No, she wouldn’t. She had no doubt gotten my grandfather to fall prey to her charms. Maybe she’d found it so easy that she was going to go after me now. But there was a bit of a difference between a sick old man and someone like me, young and dominant, who was used to having things his way.

  I had to wonder how many other men had fallen for her charms. My grandfather, definitely, but she was a nurse. She had access to all sorts of rich, old men.

  But then why was she living in that tiny apartment?

  Well, either this was the first time she’d tried it, or she was such a spendthrift that she went through money too fast and had to find a new sucker. Whatever the case was, I honestly didn’t really care that much.

  The important thing was, I was on to her. She could throw her sweet, innocent, naive act around all she wanted. It was never going to fool me. I had never been the kind of man to be taken in by a woman, no matter how gorgeous she was.

  She’d fooled my grandfather, but she would never fool me. Never, not in a million years. I promised myself that right then and there.

  Kaye James might think she had another sucker on her line, but she would find out this wealthy man could fight back. She’d made a pretty critical mistake if she thought she could manipulate me like she had my grandfather and who knew how many other lonely men.

  She would never have me.

  I would give her every reason to think she’d convinced me of her sweetness—that I believed her act and had swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. I would keep on guarding my heart, as I had always done, and in the end, she’d end up with nothing.

  It actually sort of pissed me off, thinking about what she’d done. She’d not only stolen from me, but she’d taken advantage of an old, dying man. This revenge was no longer just about the money.

  It was personal, and while I had felt a little bit bad for her before, that was all swept away with righteous indignation now. Steal from a Black family member? Lie and misdirect us?

  No way was I going to let her get away with that. I hoped she would suffer when I took everything from her.

  It would be no more than what she deserved.

  Vengeance would be sweet.

  Chapter 5

  Kaye

  The whole story broke my heart.

  I had known, somehow, that it was bad. I had known it from the moment Theodore had asked me to dial the phone for him. Strange to think it had only been about a week and a half ago.

  It had actually hurt to listen to. After hearing everything David had been through, it was impossible for me to dislike him anymore.

  Yes, he’d been scared, but he’d had good reason to be. He’d been so hurt. It all made so much more sense to me now.

  The only thing I regretted from his visit was that I hadn’t been able to talk with him about whether he’d be interested in taking half of the money. I hadn’t expected him to show up at my house and my cold had kept me from thinking straight about the whole thing.

  Maybe I’d see him again, though. He’d asked me to, and I liked the idea. Much more than I expected to.

  “Earth to Kaye,” the laughing voice of one of my friends from work, a lovely lady with golden skin and laughing black eyes named Joan, called out. She was the one I was closest to at work.

  There were five of us, including myself and Joan. We were all nurses and all on our lunch break at a local restaurant. This was something we often did, and for me, it was some of the only social time I got.

  It was hard to be a nurse. The hours were long and it could be hell on relationships. The only person who could really understand a nurse, I firmly believed, was another nurse.

  “Sorry.” I blushed, sort of hating myself for it. I didn’t usually blush, but I’d gotten caught thinking about David again.

  David. I had misjudged him so horribly. Luckily, he didn’t seem to hold it against me.

  “Oh my God,” one of the other nurses, Angela, spoke up next. “You met someone! Finally!”

  To my embarrassment and their amusement, I colored up even more. I’d been around girl talk before, of course, but I’d never been the subject of it. More of an outsider, listening in.

  “No, it’s nothing like that,” I protested, but I could see they weren’t buying it. And it wasn’t the way they were thinking. The situation was far too complex, but knowing they would bother me until I told them, I started to talk.

  I told them about the money, about how it had all been left to me, and about how I didn’t even know what to do about it. I told them everything, right up until the day David had stormed out of the lawyer’s office.

  It was good to say it all. Get it all out of my head. I could trust these women, each and every single one of them, and I knew that. As I was slowly processing the whole situation, it definitely felt nice to say the words and to know I had their support.

  They weren’t as excited as I would have thought, though. Oh, they were happy fo
r me and I could tell it was genuine, but honestly, they seemed more worried about David than I would have thought.

  “So he calls you names, storms off, and then comes back later? What stopped him from being upset over the money in the meantime?” Joan asked, her voice strangely cautious.

  “No, no. It wasn’t like that. I know what you’re thinking—that he’s just after the money, but …” I forced a deep breath into my lungs. How to explain to them? I didn’t want them disliking David for any reason, not with everything he’d already been through. “He doesn’t even seem to want the money.”

  I saw four sets of skeptical eyes fixed on me and four pairs of eyebrows raised, and I knew none of them believed that it was possible.

  “He’s been through so much.” I could hear the passion in my own voice, and I just had to hope they would hear it too and believe me. “His mom left him, his dad died, and then his grandpa passed too. He has no one.”

  The four other women exchanged glances, and Angela was the one who finally broke the silence. “He was so terrible to you. Why is he suddenly being so nice? Your heart is so big, but maybe sometimes it wouldn’t kill you to not think the best of people all of the time.”

  I bit my lower lip. What they were saying made sense, but somehow, I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe David was lying. Not unless he was a far better liar than anyone I’d ever met before.

  “He doesn’t need the money. He’s gorgeous, young, and he’s already wealthy.”

  All of the girls sat up to take notice of my comment and I winced. I’d said just a little bit too much and there was no way I was going to get away without being thoroughly grilled.

  “You’re talking like you have a thing for him.” Joan’s eyes were curious, but I wasn’t sure I liked the look in her eyes. She still seemed so suspicious. They all were and nothing I was saying was helping them.

  “That’s not what I meant!” Or was it? I had to admit, if only to myself, I had been awfully drawn to the guy. But that didn’t change the fact that I did believe him. I’d never been the kind of girl to be drawn in by a handsome face or a strong body before, so it wasn’t that.