“Fair enough.” Because I couldn’t deny it for a second. I felt it, too. “But honestly, I like the nice side of you. The one that bought my dinner when I was starving. The one that gave me his gloves because I was cold. I don’t really like the one that tried to make me feel like a whore.”
Sal’s head fell back against the couch. He stared at the ceiling for a good long while.
“I’m so sorry about that, Bailey. Bianca says I was deflecting because apparently, she took psych freshman year.”
“It’s true. We did.” I had to laugh. I had to because that sounded just like my best friend.
“She thinks I said those things about you because that’s how I feel about myself with everything we had to do.” He finally looked at me. Those deep brown eyes looking more vulnerable than I’d ever seen. “I really am sorry.”
Shrugging I decided to tell him the truth.
“Your words hurt me. But I won’t hold it against you as long as you know that I won’t hear that crap again.”
He let out a long sigh of relief.
“So what are we going to do now? I understand if you just want me to leave.”
“Hmm… I don’t want you to leave. You’re not staying all night but I don’t want you to leave yet.” I glanced at the television. “How do you feel about Christmas cartoons?”
His smile answered everything.
He slipped his shoes off and sunk down into the couch.
Chapter Nine
We watched two half-hour programs without talking, a little uncomfortable at first, but we found a comfortable silence. Partway through the second one, I realized something. Sal was pretty broken when it came to relationships. If something were going to happen between us, it was going to be me who made the first move. Not usually a problem for me but I wouldn’t want to scare him off.
So baby steps.
If I even wanted something between us. Yet somehow all of the nice things he’d ever said or done for me flash through my mind. The bad things did too but those were somehow more forgivable. I wasn’t so fragile that words broke me especially knowing how uncomfortable he was with people in general, as Bianca said.
And that damn kiss at the bar took up most of my thoughts.
We could be good together, perhaps. If he turned back into an asshole, I’d walk away knowing I tried. And boy did I want to give it a try with him.
I scooted across the couch until I was right beside him and could wrap my fingers around his then laid my head on his shoulder.
He didn’t react right away, instead remained perfectly still like a statue. After a heartbeat or two, he squeezed my hand.
“So what are the rules?” I asked and raised my head to look up at him before the next cartoon started.
“Rules?”
“Yeah. Obviously, we have this thing happening and since I actually like you some of the time I don’t want to mess this up. So, rules?”
He shifted uncomfortably but didn’t move away which was a good start. “I guess… I guess we take things slow? Is that OK with you?”
“Fine by me.” I watched him, trying to figure things out in my own head. He needed something. Some kind of reassurance from me that I wouldn’t push him. “What do you need, Sal DeLuca? Besides taking it slow?”
He sighed but not like he was annoyed with me and my questions or with me trying to define what was happening between us.
It was the sound of frustration.
“I’m worried it’s going to be too much.” He finally admitted. “I’m used to having nothing so being with you… ”
That I could handle.
“How about if it becomes too much, you tell me?”
One of his eyebrows twitched like the solution both surprised him and dumbfounded him. Like he never would’ve thought of that himself. Almost as if it was just too easy.
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anything,” I continued, “just tell me. I’ll back off. We can reroute or restart or stop altogether.”
“You’ll do that?” His tone was skeptical like he couldn’t believe I was telling the truth.
I shrugged in return. “Well, yeah. I don’t want to force you to do anything.”
“Sounds fair.”
I dropped my head back against him but popped it right back up when another question came to mind.
“Did you ever just kiss for the sake of kissing? Without it being part of your job?”
“I can’t believe you just say these things. Or ask these things rather. I figured you’d flip your shit when you found out what I used to do.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I will when I get more details but did you really think that I of all the people in the world would judge someone’s sex life? Please.”
“I guess not.” He smiled. “The answer is no, not really. I had sex with the first girl I kissed and that was because my parents told me to.”
“They told you to lose your virginity?”
He nodded sadly.
“Ok, well, I know you can kiss. That night in the bar was enough to prove that but we’ll start there anyway.” I wet my lips and gave him a small smile. “Kiss me, big guy.”
His gazed snapped from the TV to my face.
Sal’s tongue ran over his bottom lip a couple of times like he was thinking about what he should do or how he should do it.
I could see the moment he made a decision. His eyes changed, darkened and intensified.
Then he leaned toward me, brought his hand to the side of my face and ran his thumb along my jaw, torturing me with anticipation.
When those full lips touched mine, he was tentative, pushing against me softly.
While I wanted to dive in, I knew I’d have to tread carefully with Sal which was a whole new experience for me. A man like him was a whole new experience.
He slid his tongue lightly against my lips. I opened my mouth for him and let him take the lead. We soon moved together at a much more languid pace than we had in the bar. It was not less intense. We just now had the knowledge that we didn’t have to rush.
We could take our time, get to know the other this way, and enjoy it.
In all the kisses I’d ever had, none made me feel like this one.
I felt him to my toes, in every muscle in my body. My entire world was all about this kiss.
Finally, I pushed back a little. Insisting he let me kiss him. Let me have control.
Make it about being together and not him pleasing me for a specific outcome.
As I lost myself with him, a small portion of my brain worked through what would need to be done it I wanted us to really work out. I’d have to be careful, gentle even where intimacy was concerned. Kind of like someone who had been abused when they were young. Because he kind of had been.
I also took note that his hands barely left the sides of my face and never once went below my shoulders.
He was cautious. Probably afraid to move beyond this for now and that was fine.
We had time.
I could fall hard for this guy. His kisses. His gentle, nice guy side.
I still had so much to learn about him but I would’ve thought that since he’d been raised to use women, he’d have less respect for us, not more. With Sal, it was definitely more.
“Holy crap.” I pulled back and glanced at the clock on the far wall. I needed to breathe but the amount of time that had passed surprised me.
“Well, I know I’ve got skills… ”
“No. I mean, yes. But no. It’s after midnight.” He glanced over his shoulder at the clock and looked just as surprised as I’d felt. “We have to be at Gramps by nine for breakfast. Actually, I’ll be there more like eight to help cook.”
“So I should go.”
It wasn’t a question. And as much as I didn’t want him to leave, I really did need him to. My morning was going to start early.
“Yeah.”
Sal bent over, slid his feet back in his shoes, then grabbed his jacket and went to the door. Before he actuall
y left, he leaned in and kissed me again. It was chaste, just a lingering touch of our lips and his hand held cupped the side of my face gently, holding me in place for him. It did almost the same for me as the make-out session on the couch.
Almost.
I think because he held me as if I was something precious, something breakable. His hands gentle against my skin.
When the door closed I fell back against it while tracing my fingers over my lips.
I could still feel him there and dreamt of that kiss half the night.
In the morning, I took my time getting ready. There was even more pressure to look good. It was pressure I put on myself but it was there regardless.
Sal admitted a lot of things to me last night, and I didn’t want to make him regret that by showing up looking like an ogre. Since he stayed in the garage apartment, it was likely that he’d be there early as well or he’d see me when I arrived.
Christmas morning at Gramps’ house wasn’t a dress-up occasion. As with everything else the Russo/Romano clan, it was more about being together than anything else. The jeans I chose were acceptable and went well with the deep blue long sleeve tee with a scoop neck and a slight shimmer because I knew it’d make my eyes pop. To keep it all casual and tie it together, I put on my black converse chucks.
Walking up the path to Gramps’ back door, the one off the kitchen, I couldn’t help but glance over at the apartment. A light shined out from the window by the kitchen sink in there. My heart leaped in my chest at the thought of Sal awake and rambling around inside.
I wanted to go say good morning but forced myself to enter the house.
“Morning, Bailey.” Maria hugged me tightly as soon as I shut the door.
“Morning. Which food do I get to ruin?”
“Ruin?” Bianca stepped into the room then yawning widely. “How about we start a petition to make this brunch?”
“Every year, Bianca. You know what time breakfast is. Plan accordingly.” Maria rolled her eyes at her daughter.
“At least this year she has an excuse,” I said.
“What excuse?”
“She does have a hot Italian Stallion to keep her up nights now.”
“True.” Maria nodded.
“Mom.” Bianca’s eyes grew wide. “Bailey, don’t encourage her.”
Once Maria’s laugh quieted she said, “I think I’ve got breakfast under control and just about everything prepped for dinner. So why don’t you two set the table. Then we’ll start the pancakes and eggs.”
Bianca went for plates. I went for silverware.
As we set everything in place, then went back for glasses and napkins, Bianca glanced at me then the table. She then started to say something but thought better of it. I watched her internal struggle out of the corner of my eye, wondering when she’d cave in and ask whatever was on her mind. All the while I bit my lips together to keep from laughing at her.
“Oh my god you’re going to give yourself an aneurysm.” I couldn’t take it anymore.
“What happened between you and Sal? I know Gio gave him your address. Why? Did he come over? What did he say?”
“I think you have sixteen questions left if you want to get them all out now.”
Bianca cocked her head to the side, pursed her lips, and raised her eyebrow. That clearly wasn’t the answer she’d been looking for.
“He came over. We watched cartoons.”
“Cartoons?”
“You know my love of Christmas cartoons.”
“Not the point. You watched cartoons with Sal on Christmas Eve?”
“Yeah. Charlie Brown. The Grinch. A few others.”
“Bailey.” She gave me a hard look. “Tell me more.”
“I don’t know what I can tell you.” She continued to stare. “We kissed, OK.”
“You kissed.” She repeated. “Like in the bar?”
“Not like in the bar.” The grin that spread across my face gave me away because Bianca’s eyes grew wide and she pursed her lips.
“Oh, my.”
“But I can’t tell you anything else until I talk to him. I don’t know which part was just between us and—”
“Of anyone in the world, I definitely understand. You don’t have to tell me those details. But are you together then? You know he feels terrible for being such a jerk sometimes,” she said without looking at me.
“I know. He told me.”
“That’s why I gave him your number. I thought maybe he wanted to apologize.”
“I know.”
“Did he use it?”
I scrunched up my face at her. She should have known that I would have called her the minute I hung up with Sal.
“No. I knew when you told me that he wouldn’t.”
“Coming over was better anyway.”
“Uh huh. Is there anything else you want to tell me?” I asked.
She stopped cutting up the fruit and stared.
“He told me,” I said quietly.
“Told you?” She stepped closer.
“About working for their parents.”
Her face lit up with surprise.
“The Diamati and DeLuca’s are here,” Maria called from the kitchen, saving my ass from having to say another word.
I gave Bianca a wide smile in response to her squinty eyes. Our conversation wasn’t over but their arrival couldn’t have been better timing if I’d planned it myself.
“You’re not off the hook yet,” she whisper-yelled as we headed for the kitchen.
Maria sent the guys off to find Tony and Gramps without giving us time for anything more than a quick hello.
Sal’s eyes watched me, followed my every move.
I gave him a small smile along with a little covert wave.
Basically, Maria wanted them out of her kitchen. But then I remembered that I still needed to unload my car. I brought gifts, and they’d do no good out in the trunk.
“Shoot. I’ll start the pancakes as soon as I get back in, Maria. I left the gifts in my car.” I began wiping my hands on the nearest towel but then Sal spoke up.
“Is it locked? I can get them,” he said.
“Uh, no. It’s not locked. Thanks.” I turned back to the pancakes while he went out to my car. But Bianca gave me a raised eyebrow duck face.
I focused on the task at hand and ignored the face she made.
Once we finish the cooking, we sat around the table. Bianca, Gemma, and me along one side; Maria, Gio, and Sal on the other with Gramps and Tony on each end. Thanks to Bianca, who’d directed me to my seat, I ended up right across from Sal.
I didn’t mind the view but knew what she was up to which made me want to kick her under the table.
“What did you do to the pancakes?” Gio asked shoving almost half of one in his mouth like a little boy.
“I didn’t do anything to them,” I said. “Why?”
“They’re so good.”
“Oh. That’s just the flavor of the poison I put in yours,” I said as sweetly as I could and kept an innocent smile on my face. The others at the table laughed. “This surprises you? I’m offended. I’m an excellent pancake maker.”
“It’s true.” Bianca backed me up. “The first meal I’ve always had after being sick was Bailey’s pancakes. Or her chicken noodle soup. That’s excellent too.”
“Where did you learn to cook?” Gemma asked.
Sal remained his usual quiet self but I felt him watching every movement I made as I spoke. Actually, I’d caught him watching my mouth as I formed words and took bites of food. I wanted to kiss him again, too.
“My parents were gone a lot so I had to learn to cook or die.” I waved my fork in the air like “cook or die” was my battle cry.
“Or come here and help eat us out of house and home,” Gramps said then laughed loudly.
“Ha. That was Nick, Gramps. I ate like a bird.”
“A vulture is a bird, right?” Without thinking I grabbed a pancake, lobbed it at Gramps’ head and hit
his face. We had the entire table laughing and giggling.
While clearing the table once we finished eating, Sal brushed into me every chance he got. I think he was just as unsure as I was about how much we should say in front of the others. We hadn’t talked about where we stood or what we would say to our friends and didn’t have time to do it right then because we were called to the living room for presents.
I’d gotten something for everyone as I always did, even Sal. He wasn’t going to be the only person I didn’t give a gift just because we hadn’t always gotten along. Now after what happened in my apartment last night, I was supremely glad that I hadn’t wanted to leave him out.
When Bianca and I were shopping for the final gifts we needed last week, I bought him a simple but beautiful tie clip that she said he’d complained about needing. I picked that particular one out but it’d been her idea.
Every year her parents took time to pick something out they thought I’d love.
My parents sent a check. To be fair, I did love the check, too.
What surprised me most was when Tony handed me another gift. I’d already opened something from Bianca, Gemma, Gramps, and the Russo’s so there shouldn’t have been any left. The gift was small, beautifully wrapped, and had my name on it so it wasn’t a mistake.
I looked up in surprise when I saw the gift was from Sal and found him watching me with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, leaning a shoulder against the wall across the room.
I hadn’t expected him to give me a gift.
So, while the others were busy with their own presents, I tore the paper apart to find a black velvet box.
Then I pulled the box open slowly. A delicate silver chain with a beautiful heart charm hanging off it laid inside. It wasn’t elaborate or extremely expensive looking but I don’t think I’d ever loved a gift more.
The fact that he bought something for me back when I thought he considered me a whore meant something to me.
Sal pushed off the wall and stalked over to me.
I didn’t dare move as I waited for him. He leaned the front of his shoulder against the wall nearest me as if he needed support or to be held back from me.
I might have hated the wall right then.
Love by the Mile (Harbor Point Book 2) Page 8
