by Mia Ross
Another deep sigh, as if he knew what was coming next. “To the cemetery?”
“Yes. I’ll go to the site with you if you want.”
“I don’t want to go at all.”
She knew she’d pushed him much further than was reasonable, but she was proud of how far he’d come and wasn’t about to let him backslide now. But since she wasn’t heartless, she stood and held out her hand. “Do you trust me?”
He stared at her hand for a couple of seconds, then took it lightly in his and lifted his eyes to hers in the most courageous gesture she’d ever seen. “Yeah, I do.”
“I honestly believe that accepting what happened to Nate is the best way for you to begin healing. You need to go and say goodbye to him.”
“Did doing that help you when Brady died?”
“Not at first,” she confided sadly. “I hated him for giving up on himself and our family. All those contrived grieving steps made me want to scream, but I made myself go through them because I had a little boy who needed his mom to be strong. After a while, with time and a lot of faith, I found some peace, and I know you can, too. But you have to start somewhere.”
With a gentle tug, she got him moving toward the truck he drove in honor of the friend he’d lost so tragically. As they headed down the lane that led toward the Liberty Creek Cemetery, she prayed that she was right.
Because if she wasn’t, she feared that Sam would never be able to escape his past.
* * *
It didn’t take them long to find Nate’s resting place.
The Henderson area of the cemetery occupied a small hill beneath a stand of trees that had probably been there for a hundred years. Since it was mid-July, the branches overhead shaded the ground, the leaves rustling as a breeze drifted through them. Sam couldn’t help thinking that they were sighing at him for staying away so long.
Nate’s modest stone wasn’t anything special, but the American flag displayed beside it made the humble marker stand out from the others around it. The wind ruffled the flag, carrying it up so the stripes rested over top of the arched granite. Without thinking, Sam reached out to smooth it back down to where it had started. The fabric was soft to the touch, and he let it slip through his fingers in a waterfall of red, white and blue.
Holly didn’t say anything, but he could sense her presence behind him, watching over him protectively. While Sam had plenty of family to lean on, the battle he’d been fighting had been mostly his alone. Now that he’d confided the truth to her, it was nice to know she had his back.
Staring down at the mute stone, he struggled to connect the somber view with the fun-loving goofball who’d been his best friend since childhood. He couldn’t manage it, and while he mulled over what that meant, the wind kicked up and blew his hair into his eyes. As he brushed it back, he understood why this place didn’t speak to him.
Nate wasn’t here.
His body might have been laid to rest in this peaceful spot, but the raucous spirit of his friend wasn’t something that could be contained in the ground. It lived on with his family and friends, people who’d known and loved him. And for Sam, it lingered at the baseball fields and in the truck Nate had left to him, a reminder of the adventures they’d enjoyed together before fate had separated them so completely.
Glancing around at the somber view, Sam expected to feel that old darkness creeping back into his thoughts. He was surprised to discover that, while he didn’t exactly feel upbeat, he wasn’t overwhelmed by grief, either. Somehow, coming here seemed to have released some of the guilt he’d been carrying around with him for so long. It struck him as odd, and he turned to Holly.
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” she told him, adding a warm, encouraging smile. “You’ve been through so much, I wasn’t sure how this would go.”
“Then why’d you drag me up here?”
“Because you needed to come,” she replied in a firm tone that told him she knew what she was talking about, “and I didn’t want you to do it alone.”
“Mom’s been trying to get me to come up here for months,” he confessed with a frown. “I just couldn’t make myself do it.”
“You weren’t ready then. Now you are.”
“But how did you know that?” he pressed, amazed that she could possibly understand him so well.
“You told me what really happened that day,” she explained patiently, resting a comforting hand over the tags dangling down his chest. “That can’t have been easy to do, but you were finally able to get the words out. The first time is always the hardest.”
This woman had endured more than her share of anguish, he knew, and he admired her willingness to reach out and help him in such a personal way. Resting his hand over hers, he gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks for being here, Holly. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
She gazed up at him, those beautiful blue eyes shining in the dappled sunlight filtering through the branches overhead. The smile she gave him made him glad he’d opened up to her. “I think you could have, but I’m glad you let me come along.” After a moment, she tilted her head with a questioning look. “Why did you?”
“You dragged me by the arm,” he reminded her with a chuckle. “Remember?”
Groaning, she rolled her eyes in disdain. “Oh, please. You’re twice my size, and I can hardly push you around. This is the kind of thing people normally do in private or with family. I’m curious why you chose me.”
Now that she mentioned it, so was he. He wasn’t a hermit, but he wasn’t one for public displays of emotion, good or bad. He tried to keep a more or less even keel, moving from one day to the next at a steady pace that kept his business on track. Even he recognized that he’d put more personal things on the back burner, waiting for some day in the future when he felt strong enough to pull them forward and deal with them.
When it occurred to him that their hands were still connected, he gently folded hers into his, brushing a kiss over the back. “I guess it just felt like the right thing to do.”
A smile slowly made its way across her features, brightening them in a way that made him happy to know he’d been the one to put it there. “I’m glad.”
“Yeah,” he agreed with a smile of his own. “Me, too.”
After a long look down at Nate’s grave, Sam put an arm around her shoulders and turned to go. Not wanting her to feel crowded, he began to pull his arm free but was pleased when she slid her arms around his waist and held him close. Sweet and trusting, the gesture warmed him down to the soles of his boots, and he found himself wishing it could be the first of many moments like this between them.
Walking down the hill was easier than the hike up, and with each step he felt lighter, as if he was shedding some of the weight he’d been lugging around in his heart. People had tried to do that for him in the past, but he’d always rejected their attempts, insisting on carrying the load by himself. Now that he’d shared some of it with her, the burden seemed a lot easier to bear.
For all her delicate looks, Holly had impressed him more than once with the steel that seemed to run through her. The silver cross she wore glinted in the sunlight, and he wondered if she was right that the first step in forgiving himself was to forgive God for not intervening on that terrible day. Too many times, he’d heard the platitudes about God’s will and how people had to learn to accept things they didn’t understand. In the past, those sentiments had infuriated him to the point where he’d turned his back on the faith he’d been raised with.
Somehow, Holly had found a way to make peace with the Almighty. Maybe there was hope for him to do it, too.
Chapter Eleven
Finally.
After weeks of hard work and crossed fingers, Henderson Field was ready for the first game. And not
a moment too soon, as far as Chase was concerned. Holly had barely pried her eyes open when he bounced into her room, his new cleats clunking on the hardwood floor.
“Morning, Mom!” he sang, bounding onto her bed with the kind of energy she would’ve paid almost anything to have for herself. “It’s a great day for baseball.”
Squinting at the weak sunshine streaming into her windows, she couldn’t help laughing. “I can’t argue with that. What time is it?”
“Seven.” Holly knew him pretty well, and she gave him a long look that made him grin. “Okay, it’s almost seven.”
“Meaning more like six?”
“In between,” he hedged, well aware that she knew he could tell time. “I don’t wanna be late for warm-ups.”
The game started at nine, so there wasn’t much danger of him missing anything. But she didn’t want to squash his enthusiasm, so she flung the covers aside and got up. “Good point. I’ll get breakfast going while you wake up D. She wants to come with us, and it’ll take her a while to get ready.”
“Okay.”
He zoomed off on his errand, and she followed him downstairs, feeling a bit more energetic with each step. He stopped just long enough to let Holly fill a tray with his usual breakfast and Daphne’s morning tea. To Holly’s surprise, when she knocked on the parlor door, Daphne called out, “Come in!”
She wasn’t what you’d call a morning person, so Holly was amazed to find her sitting on her love seat, hair done and makeup on. Pleased but concerned, Holly set down the tray and said, “You know you’re not supposed to be in the shower by yourself.”
“Then why did Sam install those grab bars for me?” Daphne countered in a maddeningly logical tone. Smiling proudly, she patted Holly’s arm. “You’re sweet to worry, but I managed just fine on my own. I had my phone with me in case I needed you.”
Despite the difficulty she’d had adjusting to their new relationship, Holly couldn’t help feeling proud of her mother for taking back some of the independence she’d always cherished. Being pampered was one thing, Holly knew. Being a step short of helpless was something else entirely, and she was glad to see that Daphne had finally had enough of that. “Well, that was smart. When you’re done eating, let me know if you want a hand getting dressed.”
“Will do,” her patient promised, the spark in those famous eyes making it clear that she had no intention of giving up so easily.
Chase found one of his favorite cartoons, and when Holly left, the two of them were already imitating the goofy main character, laughing more at each other than at the ridiculous scene on the TV.
Apparently, their attitude was contagious because Holly was singing along with the kitchen radio when she heard a quiet knock on the wooden frame of the screen door. Glancing over, she saw Sam silhouetted there, thermos in one hand and a large white bag in the other.
“Breakfast delivery,” he said, holding up what he’d brought.
“Anyone who brings me food can come right on in,” she told him, taking a long sniff as he stepped inside. “That smells amazing.”
“Fresh outta the oven. Don’t worry—Gran made the coffee,” he joked with a grin.
The lighthearted reference to their first meeting, when she nearly choked on his turbo-charged brew, caught her by surprise. It had happened weeks ago, but she never would have suspected that the somber former Ranger she met that day would be capable of poking fun at himself. She didn’t want to make him feel awkward by mentioning that, so instead she smiled back. “Please thank her for us.”
“You can tell her yourself,” he replied as he poured them each a cup of steaming caffeine. “She’ll be there today.”
“At the game? Why?”
“To cheer the kids on. It’s the first one, and she knows most of them, so she wants to be there.”
Holly had never heard of such a thing. In Boston, people had been so busy with their own hectic lives, they often couldn’t make it to their own kids’ games. It was drop off, run errands or go back to the office, then pick them up. And carpooling was part of the parents’ survival kit, so no one had to drive back and forth every time.
“You look like I just told you she’s going to the moon for lunch,” Sam teased, handing Holly’s cup to her.
“It’s just that I wouldn’t expect someone to come this morning when they don’t have a child or grandchild involved.”
“Well, she’s gotten attached to Chase,” Sam explained, taking a seat at the table. Glancing down the short hallway toward Daphne’s closed door, in a lower voice he said, “She thinks it’s a shame his own grandma’s in Georgia so she can’t be here to see him play. Gran thought it’d be nice if she was there instead.”
“You’re not going to shame me into telling him about Daphne,” Holly shot back in a furious whisper. “I’ll do it when I think the time’s right.”
Sitting back, Sam studied her for several long, uncomfortable moments, his eyes shifting through several shades of blue to almost gray, then back again. It was the most incredible thing she’d ever seen, and if she hadn’t known him as well as she did, the eerie shifts would have made her skin crawl.
“You’re gonna wait till you’re gone, aren’t you?”
There was no anger in his tone, only a quiet resignation that suggested he understood what she was thinking. Holly had never met anyone who followed her thoughts so easily, and while it made explaining herself easier, she wasn’t sure she liked it. “I may. I haven’t decided yet.”
Apparently convinced that he was getting precisely nowhere, he didn’t say anything more on the subject. Smart man.
“So,” he went on as if they hadn’t just had a tangle of opinions, “what’s next for you two?”
“Now that I’ve gotten away, I’m definitely not going back to the same area of Boston. I don’t want to uproot Chase once he’s settled in a school and making friends, so this move has to be it for a long time. Savannah was a possibility before—y’know,” she replied, sighing as she sat down next to him. “Now I’m not sure.”
“Are you considering staying here?”
“No,” she answered reflexively. “That’s not an option right now. Maybe not ever.” The frustration she’d been keeping at bay ever since she learned her family’s secret bubbled to the surface, and she waved her hands in an attempt to keep it under wraps. “I just don’t know.”
“You don’t have to know,” he told her in a gentle tone that told her he truly sympathized with how she was feeling. “Just do whatever’s best for you and Chase, and you’ll be fine.”
“You sound a lot more confident than I feel.”
“You’ve been following your gut since he was born,” Sam reminded her with a smile. “He’s a terrific kid, so from where I sit, it’s working well so far. No reason to think that won’t continue.”
Gratitude flooded her heart, and she gave him her brightest smile. “Thank you for saying that.”
“You’re welcome.” Looking down, he fiddled with the handle on his cup before meeting her eyes again. “So Chase is headed into third grade, but how ’bout you? When school starts next month, you’ll have a lot of time to fill. Any thoughts on what kind of job you’re looking for when you get settled?”
Holly opened her mouth to answer, then quickly changed her mind. When he gave her a nudging look, she stalled. “It’s silly.”
“Try me.”
The sketches she’d done for the living room were stacked on the table, and she fingered the pile while she debated confiding her insane idea to him. Why not? she wondered. The worst he could do was laugh and tell her to get real. The moment that possibility entered her mind, she dismissed it. That was how Brady would have reacted, forcing her to backpedal and be more pragmatic.
But Sam would never cut her down that way, even if he thought she was nuts. As he’d done with
the Japanese garden out back, she was certain that he’d listen and do his best to support her. Even if what she wanted made no sense to him. Because that was the kind of guy he was.
Whether it was signing on to Brian’s plans for the ironworks or working long hours to make sure local kids had a place to play baseball and softball, she’d learned that while the reserved contractor was as practical as they came, he did all he could to help others make their dreams come true.
After a deep breath, she decided there was no harm in entrusting her wild notion to the stalwart man she’d come to admire so much. “Okay, but you can’t tell anyone else.”
“Promise.”
“I’ve really enjoyed working on this house,” she began, fanning the drawings out with her fingertip. “I know D isn’t a real client, but she’s always liked my ideas, and working with you has been fun.”
That got her a quick smile. “Thanks. I feel the same about working with you.”
Really? After all their rehab debates and outright arguments, Holly figured he’d view her as demanding and impossible to please. Just another way he differed from—well, any other man she’d ever known. Putting that aside, she refocused on what she’d been saying. Another deep breath, and she blurted out, “So I was thinking maybe I could take some classes and become a bona fide interior designer.”
Nothing.
Sam regarded her with a pensive expression, as if he was trying to decide how to let her down easily. Then, to her amazement, he nodded. “Sounds perfect for you. If you need a portfolio of work you’ve done, I’ve got plenty of before and after pictures of this place.”
Holly hadn’t gotten past the breathless wishing phase of her evolving plan, and his pragmatic suggestion made her heart skip. “I never even thought of that. What a fabulous suggestion.”
“Yeah, I get ’em once in a while. You can use me as a reference, and I can’t imagine anyone else in the program will have a movie star as their first client. That should impress your professors.”
“On-campus classes would be the same time that Chase is in school,” she said, her enthusiasm growing with each word, “and maybe they have some online, too.”
