“I slapped him.”
Janis laughed. “Oh my God! No wonder he’s so enchanted with you! Jake thought that Ryder had always been afraid of women who would only want him because he’s rich. We thought maybe that was the reason why he was so aloof with women, and why he wasn’t interested. He was too cautious. He’s allergic to girls who would want his money more than him.”
I smiled at Janis. As we approached our table and I looked into Ryder’s eyes, I realized glumly that I liked everything about him… except for his money.
“Something wrong?” He asked me.
I shook my head as I sat beside him. Janis took out her camera and placed it on a tripod. Then she and Jake went closer to us and told us to smile. Ryder laughed and squeezed me tightly. I leaned my head on his shoulder and I smiled happily.
I only have forty-eight hours. During this time, Ryder would want me as much as I want him. We belong together and the issue of his A-list status is beyond us. Here, now, it feels like I’m ready to be in a relationship again, and Ryder is not the complicated man he is.
We sat by the bonfire as we watch Janis and Jake dance.
“She’s buying it.” I told Ryder.
“Buying what?”
“Us.” I replied. “She didn’t think we were pretending.”
Ryder raised a brow. He pulled me to him so I can sit on his lap. Then he gave me a tight hug.
“Is that what we’re doing, love?” He whispered.
I stared back at him, my heart pounding hard in my chest.
“None of this is real, Ryder.” I reminded him.
He smiled, before leaning forward to kiss me on the lips. “But it looks real. It feels real.”
I blushed. How could I be that transparent?
I looked at him seriously. “It’s all for the show. This doesn't change anything, Ryder.” I told him. “I’m only doing this because I owe you.”
He narrowed his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something but chose not to. Instead he leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips and said, “But here, we belong together.”
I nodded. “Only here. Only this weekend.”
He took a deep breath. “Then let’s make the most of it, shall we?” And he kissed me thoroughly.
I felt wanted. I felt woman. The kiss that Ryder gave me made me feel a myriad of sensations all rolled into one. Heat emanated from his skin to mine. I never wanted him to stop. But we have to stop. Because we are sitting by the fire in the beach with people dancing and partying all around us.
He stared back at me. His eyes filled with desire. My heart kept pounding in my chest as I struggle to catch my breath. I wanted him. I know from the look on his face that he wanted me too. I tried to think of reasons to stop falling into the edge of passion, but I can feel reason drifting away.
Finally, he stopped kissing me. He stared at me deeply. His eyes were drunk with passion and I can tell that he’s trying to water the fire inside him. Because we both know where this is leading, and it was not part of the deal. We only need to put on a show in front of Janis and Jake. But inside our hotel suite, we’re two strangers who happened to share the same room and some acquaintance.
“Let’s dance, shall we?” He asked.
I nodded. We both know that dancing would distract both of us.
When we got to the dance floor, Janis was beaming at me. A slow love song played. Ryder took me in his arms. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He wound his arms around me and enclosed me in a hug.
“Janis said you were afraid of relationships, because you were afraid women will only want you for what you’re worth.” I said.
He sighed. “It’s only partly that. The bigger part of it is that I have been focused with my goals all my life. I didn’t really have time to stop and commit to get to know one girl.”
“You didn’t believe in ‘ever after’ too.”
He didn’t say anything for a while. I felt a kiss on my temple. “Do you believe in ‘ever after’ now?”
I sighed. “I have to. It’s what I do, but I believe that ‘ever after’ may be subjective. It can happen to a whole bunch of my clients. It doesn’t have to happen to me. Maybe it doesn’t happen to everybody.”
“It should happen to you.” He said. “You deserve it, Astrid.”
“You don’t believe in it.” I said looking up at him. “Why do you wish it for me?”
“Because I know that you believed in it, and you make it happen for everybody else. You deserve it more than anyone.”
I giggled. “Yeah! I wonder how I’ll top Bryan’s and Geena’s wedding.”
He gave me a crooked smile. “You can. As long as you open up your heart again and find a man who can share with you what Bryan has with Geena.”
I laughed. “Then I can marry you in the simplest Vegas ceremony and I would still top that! Because honestly, I have more affection for you than Bryan has for Geena!”
“Seriously?” He asked chuckling.
“And I don’t think I like you all that much, Ryder Van Woodsen.” I teased.
He laughed. “Let me change your mind about that, Astrid Jacobson.” And he leaned forward and gave me a thorough kiss on the lips.
I don’t know how long that kiss lasted, but I know that somehow it started a whole rollercoaster ride. We couldn’t get our hands off each other. I think we were still kissing even when we went up to our suite. We couldn’t even wait to get inside. We were at it even on the corridors.
When he closed the door behind us and we were finally alone in our room, we both know it was time for us to stop pretending. No need to convince anyone within the confines of this room.
He stared back at me and smiled sheepishly. I smiled back at him shyly. He reached forward and pushed a lock of stray hair away from my face.
“Jake told me that I was a lucky bastard!”
“Why?”
“Because you’re very beautiful, and you’re smart, funny, and you’re grounded. You seem aware of the people around you, and you… care about what they say, how they feel. You’re sensitive to others, keen on making others feel good. He said you’re an angel and the devil that I am, I’m lucky to have you.”
I laughed. “How could he say all that?”
“Because Jake is a shrink.” He replied. “He makes thousands of dollars reading people’s personalities, deciphering the messages they do not say verbally.”
My eyes widened. “And you had the nerve to ask me to pretend I was your girlfriend? Didn’t you think he would be able to guess that?”
He laughed. “That’s why I didn’t tell you what he was. So you wouldn’t feel conscious or scared. But you’re a natural.”
“We’re both naturals.” I said. “I guess we both have a knack for acting.”
“We both have talents for acting in love with each other.” He whispered. Then he stared at me deeply, which made my knees go weak. “I wasn’t acting all the time, Astrid.” He leaned his face slowly towards mine. “A lot of the things I did today were actually… real.” And he brushed his lips to mine gently.
Instantly, my blood stirred. Desire flooded through my veins. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t help showing him that I wasn’t acting all the time too. I kissed him back. Fiercely. I kissed him more passionately than he was kissing me. He lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and wound both my legs around his waist.
He kissed me back, hungrily, passionately. He started walking towards the bed. I landed on my back and he landed on top of me. I was matching his kisses. I was as hungry as he is. It was like I’ve been set on fire. Had I been like this the night of Geena’s wedding? No wonder I lost my virginity by the end of the night!
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling all these emotions… all this passion. Heat radiated from my skin. I couldn’t stop kissing Ryder. I wanted to give him everything that I can give.
However, suddenly I can feel him slowly putting his guard on. He was controlling his kisses. H
e was trying to put out the fire within him. But I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to devour on me, as I’m devouring on him. I wanted him to give in to the passion. I needed him to take what I was offering him.
“Ryder!” I screamed his name and I kissed him hungrily again.
He kissed me passionately, but then he began to pull away.
“No!” I begged in a low, hoarse voice, and then I pulled him by the neck and kissed him again.
“Stop it, Astrid.” He whispered softly but he kissed me again.
“No.” I whispered.
He pulled away from me gently. “I’m on the edge, Astrid! Don’t push me!” He warned me.
Ahhh! So I wasn’t the only one on the edge. But he was trying to get a grip of himself. Trying to be the gentleman.
I smiled at him mischievously, and I pulled his head to me again. I kissed him hungrily… jumping in to the brink of passion and pulling him with me.
I heard him curse softly. “Damn it!” Then he became completely unrestrained. He let go of my lips only to nuzzle my neck.
“Ryder…” I whispered.
“Astrid…” He whispered back. And he kissed me on the lips again hungrily.
I felt his hands all over me. I feel myself slowly losing consciousness, giving in to the tide of passion. Ryder was not thinking any more than I was. He was touching me in places I wouldn’t let anyone touch me before. He removed my clothes and kissed every bit of skin he exposed.
I was matching his passion with mine. I showed him that he was not the only one lost in desire. I’m there too! I’m with him. Because I know, I only have this weekend, this place, where we belong together, where I can fantasize that he can belong to me forever, where I can believe that forever exists.
“I want this, Astrid.” He said to me.
I smiled at him and kissed him.
“I want to be sure that you want it too.” He whispered hoarsely.
He sat up from the bed and pulled me with him, so that I was on top of him, mounting him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, aware that we’re both completely naked now.
“Ryder!” I screamed. Desire envelops me in magnitudes I cannot describe. He wrapped his arms around my waist.
He kissed me thoroughly.
“Ryder, please.” I silently begged. I was inexperienced in this. I don’t know what I want.
“How could you be like this with me and then completely ignore me in the morning?” He asked suddenly.
I pulled away from him. “What do you mean?”
“You were like this the last time. You wanted me like this. Yet when you woke up in the morning and realized what we did, you felt ashamed of yourself. That… pissed me off.” He said.
I laughed. I realized now what he meant. I was a completely different person in bed with him. But that was the last time. I didn’t know what I wanted then. I know that I want him now… without the hope of forever.
I leaned down and kissed him again. I smiled. “I’m sure now, Ryder.” I said to him. “I want this… but only tonight.”
He shook his head. “What if I want this beyond tonight?”
I shook my head. “I can’t.” I said.
“Why?” He asked.
“Because you’re the Ryder Van Woodsen.” I replied. “You’re far too complex, too complicated. I know you won’t fall in love with me. And I’m not ready to have a relationship yet either. You’re being cautious about your status. I’m being cautious with my heart. We’re both guarded. So this won’t work. But… I want you.”
“And God knows I want you, Astrid!” He whispered and kissed me passionately.
“Then we have this night, Ryder.” I said. “It can’t go beyond this.”
He shook his head. “Give me this weekend, at least.” He said.
I stared back at him. He was devilishly handsome. He was everything I would want and more. But he was also everything I know I wouldn’t have… forever. But the thought of the weekend sounded good. Very good.
I smiled at him. I nodded. “Deal.” I whispered and then I kissed him hungrily again. He didn’t break the kiss but I felt him reach for the drawer of the bedside table.
I felt his hands trembling, fumbling with something behind my back. He cursed breathily as he struggled with the unseen obstacle. Pretty soon, I heard a ripping sound of a plastic. I smiled to myself as I realized what he was doing.
Ryder held me by the waist and slowly guided my movements above him. He thrust his hips upward and guided my waist so I could meet his thrust. My arms and legs wrapped around him, I wanted to consume him! I wanted to feel as if we were one and nothing could separate us. Ryder's hot hands framed my face and he stared into my eyes with an intensity bordering on painful. Our movements were synchronized, fluid and graceful.
The pleasure stung me in little sparks throughout my body, a kind of indescribable sensation. My breath shook and faltered, little gasps catching my throat. Ryder panted roughly, his breath caressed my lips and chin. My hair fell about us like a curtain, and we were in our own world.
There was nothing else that existed except for Ryder and I. His pupils were contracted with desire, the green of the iris swirling in tiny whirlpools of lust. With each of our movements his eyes got darker and darker, until they were a dark forest green.
“Ryder…” I whispered. “Ryder… Ryder…” His name echoed in time with our movements.
His eyes fluttered closed, and his head tilted back. The muscles in his neck were tense and bulging. Through his parted lips I could see him gritting his teeth; straining for control. Sweet feeling enveloped me, and I sobbed his named. Just like that, reason completely abandoned me and I let myself be drowned in the ocean of our passion.
When I woke up in the morning, the first streaks of sunlight were just appearing. I can hear the sound of the ocean. I knew I was in paradise. It was peaceful here. No boundaries. No limits. I was aware that I was completely naked in bed and Ryder’s arms were around me. His naked body is touching mine. I smiled to myself. I felt good. This feels right.
I wound my hand over his and intertwined our fingers. I felt him shift behind me and I felt a kiss on my back. He nuzzled my shoulders. I giggled. I can feel the shadow of his beard tickling my shoulder blades.
He pulled me so I can lie on my back and face him. He looked down at me, stared at me deeply. And then he leaned down and gave me a thorough kiss on the lips. There was no need for words after that.
When I woke up again, it was already ten in the morning. I was enclosed in Ryder’s tight embrace. I looked up at his handsome face. I looked at his chiseled features, his long lashes, his strong jaw, the cleft on this chin, his perfect nose. I bit my lip. He really is handsome. Very handsome, I still couldn’t believe I was lying in bed naked with him.
He slowly opened his eyes. The minute he saw me, he smiled. He pulled me by the neck and gave me a kiss.
“Good morning.” He said.
“Good morning.” I replied.
He smiled. “Now, that’s a better response than last time.”
I remembered the last time we slept together, I was so confused about what happened between us. He was so pissed with me. He didn’t speak much.
“The last time you weren’t so great either.” I grunted.
He raised a brow. “That’s because you made it look like sleeping with me was the biggest mistake you’ve done in your life.”
“Just in case you’ve forgotten, it was my… first time. And you were a stranger. A stranger I paid to pretend to be in love with me. I wouldn’t know whether you slept with me because you wanted me or because it… came with the job. And I felt… ashamed.” I said ruefully.
He stared at me for a moment and then he pulled me towards him. “It was never a job, you know. None of the things that I did for you that night was because it came with the job. I did all that because I wanted to. I wanted you. I pretended to be a bartender because I wanted to help you out. And I enjoyed every minute of it.
”
“But you did make an effort to resist my efforts to flirt with you that night.”
“And you knew that every effort was futile.” He sighed. “I resisted not because I didn’t want you. But because I felt I would be taking advantage of your… grief, your frustration. That night was supposed to be your wedding night. And I knew that you were not completely over Bryan then. It was wrong to take you when I know you wanted to be with someone else.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t want to be with Bryan that time. I knew I was better off. But… I went into an episode of self-pity. That somehow, nobody wanted me. I had to pay somebody to sleep with me.”
Knight in Shining Suit: Get Up. Get Even. Get a better man. Page 20
