by T. K. Chapin
“Fine, I’m not leaving.”
Stopping, I looked at her with widened eyes. “Umm… What? We have to show up together at your house or your Mom will flip.”
“I’m not going!” she snapped. And just like that, Nicole left and went off into the sea of people in search of her flavor of the week, Rad.
Sighing, I went out the front door and sat out on the porch. What am I going to do? I can’t just show up without her, her mom would drill me for answers. Her mother was under the impression Nicole and I were going to an all-night study session with Trish and wouldn’t be back until super late. I don’t know what Nicole told her to make her believe it, but the woman was quite uninvolved and obtuse to what her child was doing. Why her mother thought I’d go to hang out and study is beyond my understanding, I’m not even in school! Thinking of what I could do, my thoughts fell to Joshua. Don’t really need a designated driver, but I bet he might give me a ride home. I called him.
“Need a ride I take it?” He said immediately answering his phone.
“Yeah… There’s meth at this party and Nicole won’t leave.”
“That’s some nasty stuff… Want to text me the address? I’m taking someone home right now from a bonfire out at Copper’s Cove, but I could be over afterwards.”
“Cool… Thanks Joshua, I appreciate it.” Hanging up with Joshua, I waited outside on the porch for his arrival after giving him the address. Luckily I had worn a long sleeve shirt under my jacket which kept me warm.
CHAPTER 11
An hour later, around midnight or so, Joshua pulled up to the house. Stepping out of his car, he leaned over the hood and apologized. “I’m so sorry… it took a little longer than I expected. The guy lived clear out in the valley.”
“It’s okay,” I replied, standing up. I was a bit chilled by the wintery air, but it was better than getting a contact high from the drugs that were being used in the party behind me. Coming down the sidewalk, I glanced back at the house and shook my head. “I can’t believe she’s in there… if she’s doing meth, I’m done with her.”
“Careful there, sounds like you might be judging her a little,” He replied getting into his car.
“Well meth is horrible!” I said getting into the passenger seat. Keeping my eyes locked on the house, I continued, “There’s just got to be lines that aren’t crossed.”
“I’m curious what you mean by that… What line do you draw and why?” He asked as he drove away from the house.
“Hard drugs are bad…”
“But why? What makes a drug bad in your mind?”
“Uhh… meth is nuts dude. People ruin their life on meth, heroin, crap like that.”
“People ruin their life on drinking though, how do you differentiate?”
“Well, yeah, but drinking is different. You know that.”
“Yeah, it’s different… but why?”
I was getting lost in the conversation and a little agitated. “I don’t know. Meth’s bad! I don’t want to be around it at all.”
“I understand. Do you just want a ride back to Nicole’s place?”
“Well, I kind of can’t go back there… Her Mom would flip if I showed up without her because we were supposed to be studying at her friend’s house… Nicole’s Mom is a stickler.”
“Oh…” He came to a stop sign before getting out on the main drag of Division Street. Turning to me, he asked, “So what do you want to do?”
Shrugging, I responded, “I don’t know… what were you going to do if I didn’t call?”
“I was about to head over to the park near my house and check on some buddies.”
“Buddies?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah, just some friends, want to go?”
Looking out the window and contemplating it, I figured I had nothing else to do. “Sure, let me call Nicole and see what time she’s going home.”
“Okay,” he replied, pulling away from the stop sign and out onto Division.
“Duuuuuuuuuude….. Come back to the party,” Nicole said answering the phone.
“Nah… I’m okay. What time are you going to be home?” I could hear her in the background asking someone to get more tequila over to her. “Respond! What time are you going home?”
“I think I’m going to crash here… these people are tight.”
“Come on. Seriously, what time are you going to be home?”
Click
Holding out my phone, I looked at it blankly. “She did…” Glancing over at Joshua, I laughed. “She just hung up on me.”
“Call her back?” He suggested.
The call back went to her voicemail. “Ugh! She’s so irritating sometimes!”
“It’s okay… just roll with me and we’ll see if she calls you back.”
He drove us over to the park near his house. As we entered the park through the main entrance, I noticed the name, it was Manito Park. I’ve always heard about it, but never had been. My parents were often busy with work and that didn’t leave much time to explore the various tourist traps around town. Life often stayed busy for us as a family.
“Nice, so your buddies aren’t bums I take it… I haven’t ever been here, but I know they don’t let bums camp here.”
“Nah… they aren’t bums.” He laughed before continuing, “They are a just a bunch of cats that gather up near the gazebo.”
Did he just say he meets a bunch of cats in a park? I wondered as I stared at him smiling. “Are you serious?”
He laughed a little. “It’s strange, I know. But come on, I’ll show you.”
He parked the car alongside of the walking path and we got out. He retrieved a small bottle of milk he had purchased before picking me up. Walking side by side, we went up the path that led towards the gazebo. It was dark out, and there was still quite the little chill in the air. The walk helped me keep warm enough to tolerate the coolness of the night. As we walked through a massive garden, I could faintly see large patches of dirt where I suspected flowers would bloom in the coming months of spring. “Are these flowers pretty?”
“They’re amazing… You’ll have to see them some day,” he replied.
Making our way up to the gazebo, lamp posts nearby lit our steps as we came up into the structure. Sure enough, there were a group of cats waiting idly for their delicious treat from Joshua. I laughed a little when he retrieved the bottle from his coat pocket and handed it to me.
“Really? This seems like it’s your little strange thing.” I handed it back to him, but he refused, pushing the bottle back towards me. Glancing over to the cats, they all looked adorable. “Okay.”
Bending a knee next to me as I got down to the cats, Joshua retrieved a bowl he had stashed under one of the benches that lined the inside of the gazebo and pushed it over to me to pour the milk into. His care for animals intrigued me, I hadn’t seen a man care about an animal before in my life and I found it adorable.
Watching the cats sip away on the milk, I reached out and gently pet the closest one to me, I could feel it purring.
“That’s a new one,” Joshua said.
Looking at him, I said, “Really?”
“Yep. We should name it.”
“How about April?” I asked.
“Nah… How about Marge?”
“Gross!” I laughed. “Hmm… what about Macy?”
He appeared to think about it for a moment and then said, “I like it.”
Both of us reached out to pet Macy, his hand landing on top of mine. Glancing up at him our eyes locked as he didn’t remove his hand. My heart started to beat faster. His other hand came up and touched my face tenderly, melting my insides and causing me to lean in towards his hand.
Suddenly my phone rang breaking the moment as we jumped apart.
“I’m home… where are you?” Nicole asked angered and slurring her words.
“What? Why? You were trashed and out of your mind not that long ago…”
“Well I thought you were pissed because you
were going home and I didn’t want to get in trouble… that’s why I said I’m coming home.”
I sighed heavily as I avoided Joshua’s eyes. I didn’t know what had just happened or what it meant. I was very grateful that moment Nicole had called.
“You never said that… but whatever, I’m on my way,” I said, hanging up the phone without her having time to get in another word.
“Time to go?” Joshua asked as he stood up.
“Appears so… how she made it home, God only knows,” I replied. Turning to look over the courtyard of the garden, I looked back over to him and said, “I want to come back here when the flowers are in bloom.” I was hoping he wouldn’t mention what had just happened, I almost pleaded with my eyes to leave it alone.
“I still can’t believe you haven’t been here before, yet lived here your entire life.” He appeared to agree to let it be, thank goodness.
We began walking down the steps of the gazebo to leave. “I don’t know why I haven’t ever been here… my parents were just really busy with work and stuff I guess. We didn’t do a whole lot outside of the house as a family. Well, we did do Riverfront Park a handful of times.”
“That place is pretty neat… I like the sunset there,” he replied.
“Do you know how silly that sounds?” I asked.
Laughing, he replied, “Yeah… sounds a little strange I suppose. But the way the sun sets across the Pavilion is awesome.”
Thinking about it, I could picture it in my mind. “The shadows?”
“Exactly!” He replied, smiling over at me.
On the drive back to Nicole’s house I couldn’t sit in silence, I wanted to talk and get to know this guy more. After a moment like we had back at the park, I knew there had to be something to this guy.
“So I appreciate you being here for me tonight, and lately you’ve kind of been around a lot and super helpful and I just want to say thanks for that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied shaking his head.
“Tell me more about you; do you have any siblings or anything?”
He looked at me and appeared to think about it for a minute, probably trying to figure me out. “Yeah, two, but they are both grown up and gone. They moved across the country and I don’t see them much. My sister did come for Christmas this last year, that was nice.”
“Wow really? You’re lucky, I’m the oldest, and it sucks.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. My sister always tells me about how she got it the worst of the punishments and I got it easy.” He laughed before composing himself. “Speaking of siblings how’s Todd?”
“I feel bad for him.”
“What’s going on?” He asked, and his tone was genuine.
“I haven’t been talking to him much lately.”
“Well, you’re a Sister, there’s only so much you can do.”
“Yeah, you are right… but I just feel bad.”
“How was he the last time you talked to him?”
“He’s holding up.”
“That’s good! He went fishing with Nick and I once… He seemed like a pretty cool kid, little quiet, but cool.”
“Yeah, he’s not bad… he used to annoy me… but that was before the accident.”
Joshua went quiet for a minute before he spoke. “Can I ask what happened? I never heard anything past your parents getting in a wreck.”
“Well, that’s pretty much the story. They over corrected after hitting a patch of ice and a truck hit them head on.”
Joshua winced. “I’m so sorry...”
“It’s the strangest thing. I went numb and felt nothing for a while.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t cry or feel sad at all. I didn’t even cry at their funeral.”
“You were in shock.” I nodded. “How long did that last?”
The memory of that dreadful day with Matt came flooding back into my mind. I could see myself falling over onto the bed and the tears that followed. Looking over at Joshua, I wasn’t scared to tell him, in fact, I kind of felt like I wanted to tell him. “It lasted until the whole Matt thing.”
Joshua’s jaw clenched a little as he looked back to the road ahead of us. I could see him get angry as his face tightened. “I hope you never have to see that jerk again. And I’m sorry you ever had to be with someone like that.”
“Me too…”
“I hate the fact that there are men in the world that do that to women.” Joshua let out a heavy sigh as he paused for a moment. “Did you know Kelsey went back to her boyfriend that beat her once before she finally called it quits?”
“Really?”
“Mmmmhmmm… These jerks make women feel like they are worthless and the women believe it because they’re so broken and lost. They have a lack of self-worth and I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I think it comes down to a matter of God. You know the saying when you don’t believe anything, you’ll fall for everything. I honestly think that if these women were raised in healthy Christian homes with Godly parents, they would have more self-esteem and value and not let these pieces of garbage men walk all over them…”
“I never thought of going back to him,” I replied confidently.
“I know… I’m not talking about you… I’m referring to these ones that go back time and time again…. And the men… don’t even get me started on them.” Every word he spoke was full of passion. He was so serious, so direct and so bold in his beliefs over the matter, it was attractive.
“I don’t know if a Godly home is necessarily needed, but it can’t hurt,” I said.
“I’m sorry Claire. I just get worked up about stuff like that. Really, I think it’s either I get mad and fired up or just cry. And I’m not a big crier.” He laughed a little.
“You’re fired up about battered women?”
“Not exactly… the lack of God in this society we live in. So many problems wouldn’t exist if people would just believe the truths of the Bible and have a relationship with their Creator.”
“I disagree with that Joshua,” I replied. “I think people need to be intellectual and have their own mind, choices and decisions; not just fall in line with what’s written in a book.”
Shaking his head, he glanced over at me as we turned onto Nicole’s street. “God doesn’t remove your ability to think on your own.”
“Yeah… actually He does. The Bible is littered with rules and regulations.”
“That’s a roadmap to living the best possible life you can live. It’s not a bunch of rules to restrict you. It’s to improve your life.”
I thought of my friend Kevin, the homosexual. “Oh yeah? So what about love? I don’t think love is about fitting molds Joshua. I have a friend that is gay… the Bible says that’s wrong. I disagree with that, I don’t think gay people can control the way they feel. They love who their heart wants to love.”
“Woah… that was way out of left field.”
“My aunt and uncle are against homosexuals, so I thought of them and then the whole issue about gays.”
“I see…”
“Are you against homosexuals?” I asked.
“It’s a sin; I’m not going to say otherwise. Just like gluttony, drugs and so on…”
“Ridiculous.”
“Is it? Who are you to make a judgment call like that? I’m going off my beliefs which stem from ancient texts that have been around for a very long time, what’s yours coming from? The media? Or just pure feeling?”
“People can’t control who they love Joshua.” I was getting angry as he made me feel attacked. “They just want to love freely.”
“So if someone loves crack, should they just do crack?”
“That’s pretty rude to compare loving another human being who happens to be the same gender as someone who loves crack. It’s not a comparison.”
Pulling up to Nicole’s curb, Joshua put the car into park. “Homosexuality is unnatural and it’s against God. It’s a sin. I’m not going to ch
ange my beliefs for other people’s convenience to make them feel better nor am I going to pick parts of the Bible I take for truth. However upset that may make people, I’m not going to change my beliefs to appease others.”
“So you won’t accept how others feel... you’ll just stick to your own beliefs.”
“I have a right to believe the way I want to believe, just like you do and every other person out there. If people want to think homosexuality is okay, that’s their choice… but why am I labeled as ‘Not Accepting’ and nobody else is on the flip side?”
His words made sense. I’ve had countless conversations with people about the issue of homosexuality and everyone always bad mouths Christians over the fact they aren’t accepting them… but the truth is, we aren’t accepting Christians either.
Looking Joshua in the eyes, I could see a sliver of his soul. He had faith in what he believed in, and I felt a slight longing to believe in something that strongly. Relaxing my shoulders, I took a breath. “What a weird night,” I laughed.
“You aren’t going to respond to what I said? The flip side…”
“You’re right Joshua, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“I just want to know what you think; I want to understand you more.”
“Why?” I asked shifting in my seat.
Joshua paused for a moment and looked away out his window towards the light that sat across the street. It began raining a little outside, just sprinkles of raindrops coming down from the dark night. “You intrigue me… I want to know you better.”
Smiling, I reached over and grabbed his hand; he looked back at me. “Thank you,” I said. “I want to know you better too… even if we don’t agree on everything.”
Returning the smile, he nodded. “It was nice getting to know you more tonight Claire… We should hang out more often.”
“I agree,” I replied smiling. Looking over to the sidewalk towards Nicole’s, I continued, “I better get inside, I’ll see ya around, and say hi to Macy next time for me.”
He grinned. “Have a good night,” he said as I got out of the car.
“You do the same.” I made the walk up the sidewalk with a smile on my face.
