Trying Not To Love You

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Trying Not To Love You Page 7

by Megan Smith


  By the time we were done, Hailey and I were both hungry, so we decided to stop at the little café near campus. We ran into Gracie while we were there.

  "Why don't you try the library? They are always looking for people. All the good shifts are probably taken, but it's worth a try." Gracie said.

  Hailey looked over at me and knew that I would not last at a job like that. I always needed some kind of noise. This was something outside of what I would normally do and I needed to give it a shot. "Thanks. I think I'll stop over there tomorrow on my way home from class."

  "Kenzie, you will never last at that job." Hailey said, shaking her head.

  "I will be fine, plus if they hire the both of us, I won't have to worry about the quiet with your mouth always running." I said, smiling at her, because she knew I was right.

  "With it being a Sunday, it's pretty quiet over there; you could try and see if anyone could talk to you now." Gracie smirked at Hailey. "I think Logan is working, actually." As I said, Hailey's mouth was always running, so I was not surprised Gracie knew about Logan.

  Hailey practically jumped from her seat. "Running into Logan sounds good to me, so let's go."

  When we walked up to the building, she turned to me. "Let me do the talking and we'll both have jobs." She winked, and then walked in.

  There was a nerdy looking girl with pigtails and glasses sitting behind the desk. We walked up to her, and Hailey asked if she knew where we could find Logan. The nerdy girl looked from Hailey to me, then back again to Hailey. Then she pointed to a row of shelves to the right of where we were standing.

  Hailey grabbed my arm and practically dragged me in the direction the girl pointed. We looked down the first couple of rows and did not see him. Finally, we found him in the last row; he was standing there with his back to us. We walked down the aisle towards him, but Hailey stopped dead in her tracks.

  I nearly ran into her, but she turned to look at a book. She shushed me, and shifted her eyes to Logan and then back at me.

  "Leave her the fuck alone Britt. She doesn't know anything about you." Logan said this just loud enough for us to hear. Hailey looked at me with wide eyes.

  "He needs to tell her. I should have done it the night I showed up and she was in his room." Brittany said.

  I raised my eyes brows at Hailey and she did the same to me.

  Logan turned around, right as Hailey turned to look at him. "Oh, hey Hailey, what are you doing here?" He leaned back a little so that I was in his view. He cursed under his breath, and looked back at Brittany before acknowledging me. "Hey Kenzie."

  "Hey Logan." I glared over his shoulder towards Brittany. She looked like she was caught doing something she was not supposed to be doing.

  "We were looking for a book on…" Hailey grabbed a book off the shelf. "Ah, here it is, The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories."

  Way to go Hailey. She was making this even more awkward. I snorted, and turned to walk away. I heard Hailey say something to Logan in a hushed voice, and then heard her groaning as she came up behind me.

  "Let's never come into the library again, unless it's absolutely necessary." Hailey said.

  I stopped and looked at her. "We came here to get a job, Hails. I'm at least trying. What did Logan say?"

  She squeezed her eyes shut. "Nothing. Just go fill out the application with nerdy girl so we can get the hell out of here. I need a drink."

  I asked the girl for an application, which she provided, and I filled it out while Hailey walked off to hide from Logan. I finished and handed in the application, found Hailey and went to the dorms. We stopped at Dominic's first, so I could drop off his keys. When we walked in, I went over to his desk to write him a thank you note.

  "Um, Kenzie, what the hell is that?" Hailey said, pointing to a pair of panties on the floor by Dominic's bed.

  I was dumbfounded. What the hell were those panties doing by his bed? They sure as shit were not mine. Dominic would not be stupid enough to bring someone here, would he? Was he cheating on me? I know everyone thought he was up to something, but I always brushed it off because he was so different when we were together.

  After staring at them for what felt like forever, I looked at Hailey and said, "Come on. I think we both need that drink."

  "Already taken care of. I texted Hunter; he's on his way." Hailey grabbed my hand to lead me away from the panties.

  "Have I ever told you I love it when you take care of me?"

  She nodded at me, but stopped suddenly. "Now what?" I asked.

  She dropped my hand and walked back to the desk; she grabbed the pen, bent down to pick up the panties with it and then dropped them on the keys. She grabbed my hand again, and then said, "Now we can go."

  When Hailey and I made it downstairs, I noticed in the corner of my eye that Dominic was walking towards us. I yanked on Hailey's hand and practically ran to Hunter's truck.

  "In a hurry?" Hunter asked, with a sly grin on his face.

  "Yeah, hurry up, Dominic's on his way over." I told him, still making a point not to look out the window in Dominic's direction.

  Hunter looked in his rear view mirror at Hailey. "Where are we headed?"

  "Anywhere away from the asshat." Hailey told him, pointing her thumb in Dominic's direction. I tensed a little, thinking about what Dominic would see when he made it to his room.

  Hunter put the truck in drive and pulled away from the curb. "Then we're going back to my place. I don't really feel like going out anywhere."

  The rest of the drive was fairly quiet, with just the sound of Hailey humming to the songs from the back seat. I heard my phone buzzing from my purse on the floor, and I knew it was Dominic. I sat there pondering what he would say when I finally did talk to him. They belonged to his roommate's girlfriend. That was not going to fly this time. Why would they be on his side of the room?

  Hunter pulled me from my thoughts by placing his hand on my bare leg. This caused an electric shock to run through my body and I could not hold back the shiver. "You ok?"

  I looked around, and noticed we were in his driveway. I gave him a tight smile, and climbed out of the truck.

  "Movie and popcorn?" Hunter asked. He walked beside me into the house.

  "And ice cream," I whispered back.

  "And shots, lots of shots," Hailey said from behind me.

  When we walked into his kitchen, Hunter went over to the cabinet and grabbed a bag of popcorn. Hailey went over to the bar in the living room to grab shot glasses and vodka. I went to the freezer to get the ice cream. When I opened the freezer door, a small smile formed when I noticed he had my favorite kind, Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

  I put the ice cream down on the counter, and noticed Hunter staring at me. I smiled at him and mouthed, "Thank you." He winked at me.

  "So, I say a shot every 10 minutes for the next hour, and then we should be good to go home, right Kenzie?" Hailey asked, while pouring the vodka in our shot glasses.

  "Um, I don't think you two are going anywhere tonight." Hunter said, taking the popcorn out of the microwave.

  "I don't have any clothes here, and we have class in the morning." I said to Hunter and then to Hailey. "Remind me again, whose idea it was to have a Monday morning class?"

  "You picked the classes, not me, sweetheart." She picked up her shot glass, downed it, poured another one and then said, "Well come on, let's get this party started."

  Hunter and I picked up our shots and downed them with her. After wiping my mouth with the back on my hand, I dished my ice cream into the bowl. Hailey grabbed the bottle of vodka, Hunter grabbed the popcorn and we went to the living room to watch Super Troopers. We needed a good laugh after the last hour.

  Halfway through the movie, Hailey had fallen asleep in the recliner, cuddled up with the bottle of vodka. Hunter was on one end of the couch, and I was comfortably lying across the rest of the couch with my head on Hunters lap. He had grabbed a blanket from his bed for me, and I wrapped up tightly in it. I was starting t
o doze in and out when his phone started vibrating in his pocket.

  Hunter shifted slightly, and reached into his pocket to get his phone. I started to sit up so he could reach it, but he held my head lightly in place, and pulled his phone out. Groaning, he hit the reject call button and put it on the arm of the couch.

  He was just about to say something, when his phone started going off again. He exhaled loudly, and showed me that it was Dominic who had called. I shook my head, and he rejected the call again. I laid my head back down on his lap, and snuggled a little tighter in the blanket.

  About ten minutes later, his phone buzzed again. He picked it up, and answered it this time. "What's up, Coop?"

  I lifted my head from his lap, and sat up. I mouthed, "I'll be right back." He nodded his head.

  I went into the kitchen, grabbed my purse from the counter and searched for my phone. I saw that I had 26 missed calls, 2 voicemails and 6 text messages, all of them from Dominic.

  I read through a couple of the texts where he was saying they weren't his, it's not what it looked like, he was sorry and just to call him, he could explain everything.

  I dialed Dominic's number, ready to get this over with.

  He answered right away. "Baby, it's not what it looked like. Those were Brittany's. You can talk to her. I told her she can't do shit like this." He was rambling. He rambled a lot when he was hiding something.

  "Dominic, I need a break. This isn't working. I feel like you're hiding shit from me."

  "Ok, a break. I can do a break. I just can't lose you." He sounded defeated.

  "No calling, no texting, no nothing. I need time." Then I hung up, and turned off my phone. I put it back in my purse, and started walking back to the living room when Hunter came around the corner, still on the phone.

  "Mase wants to talk to you." He handed me the phone.

  "Hey Mase, what's up?" I tried to sound cheery. I did not want him to think that I was upset about my fight with Dominic.

  "I'm coming down there in a few weeks. Make sure you don't have any plans," he told me.

  "You know, it wouldn't hurt to ask me nicely." I huffed.

  "Kenzie, you're lucky I'm not down there now." He said through his teeth.

  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, and looked up at Hunter, who was leaning against the fridge.

  "You think he wouldn't tell me what that asshat is putting your through?" Mase was pissed. He never did like Dominic, and this was just enforcing the reasons behind his hatred.

  "I'm a big girl Mase. I can handle myself. Look, I have to go. Hunter's phone is about to die. Love you." I hung up before he could even respond.

  "Nice." Hunter said, catching his phone as I threw it at him.

  I opened the sliding glass doors, and walked down the stairs towards the beach. I needed to clear my head.

  Could I believe what Dominic was saying? Maybe. Maybe not. I knew he was busy with football, and that it took up a lot of his time. If he had no time to hang out with me, did he have time for someone else? Maybe. Maybe not.

  I realized that he was not the same guy that I started dating a year ago. He was changing a lot. I was changing. We were growing apart.

  "Hey." Hunter said, putting his hands on my shoulders from behind me.

  "Hey." I tilted my head to look up at him.

  "You ok? You know, I didn't have a choice in telling Mason. I was avoiding his calls. He knew something was up, that's why he got Coop to call." He was trying to defend himself but there was no need. This was my family, and nothing was ever going to change.

  "I know." I looked out over the ocean. "I told Dominic I needed a break."

  "I kind of heard. I was coming to give you the phone, but figured you needed a minute." He started massaging my shoulders. God that felt good. "You're so tense CC. Relax."

  I tried to relax, and enjoy the feel of his hands on me. As soon as I did, I felt the tears in my eyes. Trying hard not to think about either him or Dominic, I put my hands on his hands and brushed them off. He did not know that he was making this harder on me. I wanted to run into his arms. I wanted him take all the shit Dominic was causing away, but he could not, because he would not.

  I walked down to the ocean. The waves crashed around my legs. It was freezing, but I did not care. I was already numb. I kept walking until I could not reach the bottom anymore. Hunter came up behind me and grabbed me, pulling me to him. I wanted this, and I just did not have the energy to push him away anymore tonight. I let him hold me, as the current pushed us around. After a while, I started shivering, and we made our way back to the house. Hailey was still sound asleep in the recliner when we walked into the living room.

  "I think we should leave her here. I'll grab a blanket from my room," Hunter said, and walked off towards the stairs.

  I decided to follow him up so I could borrow some of his clothes, and get out of these wet ones.

  I pushed his door open and walked in. "Can I borrow some of your clothes again?"

  "Yeah, help yourself. T-shirts are in the second drawer, boxers are in the first." He said from inside his walk in closet. "I'll be back, so you can change in here." He walked out with a blanket for Hailey.

  I grabbed one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers and quickly changed. I walked over to his closet, and grabbed another pillow and blanket for myself. When I opened the closet door, there were pictures of the two of us together from a few summers taped to the door. As I was standing there staring at them, he walked in.

  "Um," He took a deep breath, and then continued, "Do you want to sleep in here, or downstairs with Hailey?"

  I turned to look at him, but did not say anything for a long moment. "Why do you have these in here?"

  "It's just pictures CC." He said, as walked back towards his dresser.

  I did not say anything else. I just shut the closet door.

  He reached in one of the drawers, grabbed a pair of boxers and walked into the bathroom. A second later, he came out wearing just boxers and walked to his bed.

  "You staying here, or downstairs?" He asked me again.

  I didn't answer him. I just walked over to the bed, pulled the covers down and climbed in. Hunter reached over to the side table and turned off the lamp, then climbed into bed. I knew he was uncomfortable because he could not stop moving.

  "Am I making you uncomfortable?" I asked him, after he started shaking his foot, making the whole bed move.

  "No, why?" He asked.

  "Because, you are shaking the whole bed with your foot. I don't mind sleeping down stairs."

  "No, you are fine." He turned on his side facing me.

  I was never going to be able to sleep with him watching me. I turned away from him, but that was not making me any more comfortable. I knew what I wanted, but I only wished he would do it. He must have read my mind because he reached for my hip, and pulled me towards him.

  "Is this ok?" He whispered in my ear.

  I nodded, and snuggled a little closer. That was exactly what I needed, and within minutes, I was fast asleep.

  The next morning, I woke up to something tickling my feet. Trying to kick it away so I could go back to sleep, I heard someone say "Shit."

  I sat straight up. "Sorry Hails." Looking around, I was very confused for a minute, and then I realized where I was. "What time is it?"

  "Six-thirty. I thought I should wake you up so we can get back to the dorm and get ready for class." She said, rubbing her wrist that I kicked.

  Groaning, I flopped back down in bed, threw the pillow that was next to me and hit Hunter with it. "Hunter, get up."

  "I am up." He said, as he started to sit up against the headboard. He took the pillow I threw at him and put it over his lap.

  Hailey started laughing hysterically. I sat up and glared at her. "What the hell is so funny?"

  Wiping the tears from her eyes, she pointed to the pillow on Hunter's lap. "That is." Then she turned, and walked away, still laughing.

  Hunter moved
the pillow to get out of bed, and I saw what Hailey had laughed at. I started laughing. "You know, I can help you with that."

  "Laugh it up." Hunter said, as he walked to his dresser to put on a pair of jeans.

  I finally calmed down enough to get out of bed. I went into the bathroom to relieve myself and throw some water on my face. Remembering my clothes were soaked and there was no way I could wear them home, I went back into the bedroom and found Hunter leaning up against his dresser.

  "My clothes are still soaked. Can I borrow a pair of sweats?"

  He shook his head and started laughing, "No. It looks like you are wearing that back."

  I just shrugged my shoulders. "Fine by me." Then I walked away, swaying my hips.

  I heard Hunter groan, and a minute later, his drawer slammed shut. I sat down at the kitchen island where Hailey was eating cereal.

  "So, did you talk to Dominic last night?" She asked, putting a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.

  "Yeah, I told him I needed a break. I need time to think."

  "Humph," was her response.

  I turned to look at the clock on the stove, and then looked back at Hailey. "We need to get going; I need a shower before class starts."

  I got up out of my chair to grab my cell phone from my purse. She got up as well, placed her bowl in the sink and went into the living room. Hunter came into the kitchen, threw a bag and a pair of sweat pants at me.

  "That's what I thought." I said, laughing at him.

  He glared at me. "I'll be in the car."

  Hunter dropped us off, and said he would call us later. Hailey and I got ready and headed off to class. I did not see Dominic all day; I guess he was giving me the break that I asked for. During the week, football took up a lot of his time, but a small piece of me was hoping he would at least try to talk to me.

  The rest of the week went by, and I did not hear from or see Dominic. Hailey was trying to keep me busy, but his lack of trying stung a little. I had hoped I would have heard back from the library by now, but nothing yet. By the end of the week, I needed to go out and have a little fun.

 

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