I got up early this morning to double-check my packing. Our flight leaves at one in the afternoon. Pam says not to worry about getting to the airport: She’s going to pick me up. One thing I can say about her: She sure knows how to make things fun.
I hear a horn honking, so I go out on the porch with my luggage. I can’t help but start giggling when I see the black stretch limousine in front of my house. Pam wasn’t playing when she said first class. I should’ve worn my mink coat! Well, it’s fake, but it looks real.
The driver comes up to my door and takes my luggage to the car. He opens the door, and Pam is sitting in the backseat looking just like a movie star diva. I feel myself relax a little when I see that Taylor isn’t in the car yet. Maybe she changed her mind.
“What’s up, girlfriend?”
“Pam, you are crazy.”
“Mmm-hmm. Crazy like a fox. Sit back and relax. Would you like some strawberries? Champagne?”
“Champagne?”
“Well, it’s really sparkling grape juice.”
“Fill me up, then!”
I sit back on the soft leather and pretend that I’m a celebrity. It feels good. Does a person need money to feel like this? The bubbles in the juice are tickling my throat. It makes me smile. Matter of fact, I haven’t stopped smiling since I set foot in this car. I close my eyes and imagine the sandy beach. I can’t wait to get to Jamaica.
I open my eyes when the car stops. My daydreams stop when we pull up in front of Taylor’s apartment. But I said that I could do this. Lord Jesus, please do not allow this woman to get the best of me.
Pam has a look of concern on her face. “Are you going to be okay, Yvonne?”
“Yes,” I reply tentatively. “I think so.”
Taylor peeks her head into the limo. She seems as uncertain as I am. The limo driver puts Taylor’s bags in the car, and finally she gets in. Suddenly, the back of this limo that can seat fifteen people seems too small.
Pam, breaking the deafening silence, says, “Come on, y’all. Don’t be like this! It’s cold as I don’t know what, and we are about to go to sunny Jamaica. We need to be praising God for that.”
I reply, “He’s worthy.”
Taylor smiles and sits back in her seat, as if deep in thought. Pam offers her some strawberries and “champagne.” Taylor takes the glass and sips gingerly. I’d love to know what’s going on in her head right now.
“Taylor, guess what?” asks Pam.
“What?”
“A little birdie from the office told me something about you.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, they say you’re seeing Spencer Oldman.”
“Who told you that? I haven’t said anything to those nosy women.”
“Glenda said that he’s been sending you flowers.”
“Ain’t that something? I knew she read that card before I came in! I never met a more nosy woman.”
“Yeah, I should’ve warned you about that. So is it true?” Pam asks.
Taylor looks at me like she doesn’t want to answer the question in front of me. I don’t care about her business. I look out the window, happy to be left out of the conversation, because I sure don’t have anything nice to say.
“Well, we went on our first date last weekend.”
Pam high-fives Taylor. “Go ’head, girl! He is the finest thing in the company. He’s saved too. Those women have been chasing him for years. Glenda included.”
“You have got to be kidding.” Taylor laughs. “Her homely behind?”
“Yes, honey. She thought she was the number one contender. I heard he told her flat out that he wasn’t interested.”
“Ooh, for real? I hope she doesn’t take it out on me.”
“That was a few years ago. She’s moved on to bigger fish by now.”
“Well, the date was okay.”
“Just okay?” asks Pam.
“On a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a five.”
“That’s not good numbers for a first date.”
Taylor shrugs her shoulders. “I know.”
I wonder what went wrong with Taylor’s date. Maybe she’s only attracted to men she can’t have, like my husband. Sounds like she doesn’t even know what to do with a quality man. That’s a shame.
The chauffeur is about to pull off when Pam stops him. “Let’s join hands and pray first, ladies, before we get this trip under way.”
We join hands. I notice that Taylor’s are cold and clammy. They’re also trembling just a little. What does she have to be nervous about?
Pam opens her mouth to start praying, and Taylor interrupts. “Pam . . . do you mind? I’d like to do the prayer.”
Pam smiles widely and says, “Of course.”
“Jesus, we thank You and honor You today for being the God that You are. We thank You for your forgiveness and Your grace. Lord, You said that if we would confess our sins to You that You would be faithful and just, to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Jesus, we thank You for the cleansing power of Your blood. Lord, we are praying today for traveling mercies. Please see us to and from our destination safely. Lord, we pray for rest, relaxation and reconciliation. Whatever offenses or hurts we hold against one another, we pray in Your name that they be erased. Jesus, we pray for our families in our absence, and we pray that we return refreshed and able to face the cares of the world. We thank You, and we love You. In Jesus’ name . . . amen.”
I am shocked by Taylor’s prayer. I never imagined her to be a praying woman. I tried to picture her as some Jezebel who is thinking of nothing else but ways to destroy my family. I wonder if she prays for me and Luke. I remember a preacher saying once that you can’t hate someone you’re praying for. It makes me feel guilty for some of the thoughts I’ve had of Taylor.
What really kills me is when people hear my story, they want to get deep and start talking about forgiveness. I should forgive Taylor because she’s my so-called sister in Christ. Well, when do I get to be mad? Doesn’t the Bible say, “Be ye angry, and sin not”? I have a right to be disgusted by Taylor, but after hearing her pray like that, I don’t know what to think. With God, anything is possible.
Chapter 25
Taylor
Pam was not lying when she told me that this resort was a “mini-paradise.” I have never seen anything so lavish, and I really can’t believe that I’m here. Yvonne and I haven’t said a word to each other since we got on the plane, but I hope that the silent treatment doesn’t go on all week. I really meant what I said in that prayer. I want to apologize to Yvonne, and I want her to forgive me. It’s a lot to ask of Yvonne, and on the real, I don’t even know if I could forgive my husband’s ex-mistress.
For so long I’ve felt that I didn’t owe Yvonne anything. I watched her sitting in the courtroom when they told Luke that he was Joshua’s father. I felt vindicated somehow, like I proved my point. But what did I really prove except that I had the nerve to sleep with another woman’s husband? I know that Yvonne and I will probably never be friends, but I can’t keep acting like I haven’t done anything to wrong her.
The suite we’re staying in is huge. There’s enough room for us to all stay out of each other’s way. My bedroom has a spectacular view of the private beach. The sand is white and untouched. If I didn’t see an occasional boat or Jet Ski speed by, it would feel like a deserted island. I can’t stop staring at the bluest water I’ve ever seen. I thought it was the Atlantic Ocean, but Pam says that it’s the Caribbean Sea.
When I come back into the living room, Pam has already changed into a swimsuit and sarong. I’d like to hit the beach too, but I feel like Yvonne and I should try to talk before we do anything else. I don’t want to have our drama looming over the entire vacation.
“You headed to the beach, Pam?”
“Yes, girl. Do you want to come?”
“In a little bit. I want to talk to Yvonne first.”
Pam nods thoughtfully. “Taylor, I admire you. It takes a lot of cha
racter to do what you’re doing.”
Pam admires me? I don’t understand. She has everything that I’ve ever wanted. She has a husband, a real family, and now she’s rich.
“Pam, I’d trade places with you any day.”
Pam drops her head sadly and says, “I don’t know, Taylor. Appearances can be deceiving.”
Yvonne appears from her bedroom. She’s also changed into swimwear. I’m surprised to see she’s wearing a two-piece swimsuit that is very flattering. Her stomach is flat, and her breasts are high and ageless. I guess keeping that girlish figure is one of the perks of never having children. But even though Yvonne has a great figure, no one would ever know it. I’ve only ever seen her in church attire.
Yvonne says, “I’m going to the beach. We’ve still got a few daylight hours left.”
Pam looks at me thoughtfully and then picks up her bag and a little journal that she’s been carrying around. Yvonne follows Pam to the door. Before I lose my nerve, I touch Yvonne’s arm lightly.
She jumps as if the touch shocked her. “Taylor?”
“Yvonne, I was wondering if we could have a talk before we start the festivities.”
Yvonne sighs and responds, “I guess we might as well get it over with.”
Pam smiles at me and silently leaves the suite. Yvonne walks over to the couch and sits down. She folds her arms across her chest and lets out another heavy sigh.
“All right, Taylor, I’m listening.” There is nothing friendly in her tone, but at least she doesn’t sound confrontational.
“Yvonne, I don’t even know how to start. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ just doesn’t seem to be enough.”
Yvonne replies sarcastically, “You’re right. It’s not enough, but it’s more than what my husband has given me.”
I can’t believe that Luke hasn’t even apologized. He is an arrogant, trifling fool. If I were Yvonne, I would have already left him. I wonder why she stays.
“Yvonne, I want to apologize for being so selfish. I never thought of how all this would affect you.”
Yvonne asks, “Why did you wait so long to reveal your affair with Luke? Why didn’t you, after all this time, keep it a secret?”
“Yvonne, I wanted to!” I respond passionately. “Ohio Job and Family Services made me name Joshua’s father. They were going to let us starve if I didn’t.”
I feel tears stinging my eyes while I watch Yvonne take it all in. Then she asks, “Why didn’t you just ask Luke for money? He probably would’ve helped you without me finding out.”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t know. I was desperate, and I knew that Luke never even wanted me to keep Joshua. I didn’t think he’d help us.”
Yvonne bites her bottom lip, deep in thought. I hope she is starting to see my side, even if it isn’t much consolation to her. She probably has a million questions, and I don’t even know if I want to answer them all.
Yvonne says slowly, “I appreciate your apology. It makes me feel a little better to know that at least you regret what happened. But I do have one more question that’s been nagging me since I found out about all this. Why did you stay at New Faith? I can’t understand why you wanted to torture me.”
I go and sit next to Yvonne on the couch. “Oh, Yvonne. It was nothing like that. If I was trying to torture anyone in the beginning, it was Luke. I wanted him to see his child and not be able to raise him.”
“You were angry with Luke?”
I continue, “Yes. In the beginning I planned to hurt Luke, but eventually it became like a penance for myself. I could’ve gone through my pregnancy at another church and been basically invisible. But I chose to stay and endure the ridicule and whispers.”
Yvonne responds, “That’s very noble, Taylor, but Jesus doesn’t require penance. He just wants you to repent. His blood pays the price.”
Tears are flowing from my eyes. “I know, I know.”
I try not to break down, but I can’t stop the tears from coming. Yvonne doesn’t react; she just sits back on the couch. She pats my back softly but doesn’t attempt to otherwise console me. Maybe she wants me to otherwise know that she’s no longer judging me.
After a few minutes the well of tears dries up. I didn’t even know I still had any left to shed over Luke and over the whole affair.
I think I hear Yvonne say a short prayer before she speaks tenderly, with a tremble in her voice. “Taylor, I do forgive you. I don’t know what that means for us, but I’m not going to hold this against you. I can’t.”
“Th-thank you.”
Yvonne stands up and says, “Why don’t you put on your bathing suit? Maybe we can still catch some sun.”
I’m grinning from ear to ear as I head to the bedroom. Surprisingly, Yvonne is smiling back at me. Who said that Jesus ain’t still working miracles?
Chapter 26
Pam
February 9
It’s day three in Jamaica, and I’m sitting on the beach, bronzing nicely. Hard to believe there was a foot of snow on the ground when we left Cleveland. Really, really wish Troy was here. I didn’t realize it was almost Valentine’s Day. I hope he doesn’t start celebrating without me.
Yvonne and Taylor have been courteous and accommodating ever since the first day. I don’t know what went on in the room while I was gone, but I think they both have been doing some healing. I’m so glad . . .
Taylor taps me on the shoulder before she puts her breakfast on the table. “What are you scribbling in that little book?”
I smile up at her. “Random thoughts. I’m trying to get back to writing.” I close the book.
Yvonne joins us at the table with a plate of eggs. “I didn’t know you were a writer.”
We’re having breakfast on the beach patio. This resort has a grand breakfast buffet. I’ve done nothing but gorge myself since we got here. It doesn’t matter, though, because in seven months or so I’m going to look like the Goodyear blimp regardless of what I do.
“Yes,” I reply. “I am a writer . . . or I was.”
Taylor sits down at the table. “What do you write?”
“Fiction.”
Yvonne claps her hands. “I love a good mystery. Do you write those?”
“I just try to write about real life. Mostly, I write about my life, because I know that better than anything.”
Taylor asks, “So when can I buy your next best seller?”
I laugh. “Girl, I don’t even know how to start.”
“How about ‘It was a dark and stormy night’?”
Yvonne chuckles. “Or maybe ‘In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth’?”
“Okay, you both are funny, but I’m being serious here.”
Yvonne says, “All right, seriously . . . what’s stopping you from writing a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.”
Taylor looks surprised. “Really? I sure can’t tell.”
I take a deep breath. “Well, I just found out that I’m pregnant.”
Yvonne exclaims, “That’s a blessing! Are congratulations in order?”
A heavy sigh passes my lips. “I guess I would be happy if Troy was excited.”
Taylor asks angrily, “Well, what’s his problem? It’s not like he didn’t have anything to do with it!”
I explain about the tour, and how Troy may not be present for the birth of our child. Taylor nods her head, as if understanding my dilemma. She should know something about going through labor and delivery without the support of a man by her side.
Yvonne says, “Let me know if I can do anything. I’ll keep the girls for you whenever.”
“And if you need a birthing coach, I’m available,” adds Taylor.
“Thank you both.”
“Is that the reason you’re here in Jamaica with us and not your husband?” Taylor asks.
“Well . . . there’s a little more to it than that.”
“We’re all ears,” says Yvonne
.
Tearfully, I share the studio incident and all of the other indications that I have of Troy’s infidelity. Taylor and Yvonne sit there staring at me in utter disbelief. I guess they have good reason for that. I am very good at smiling when I should be crying.
When I’m done, no one speaks for a moment. Taylor has a tear in the corner of her eye. I must be really emotional, or maybe she is. Yvonne just keeps shaking her head. I’m sure she’s thinking of how she feels about Luke’s wandering eye.
Yvonne finally asks, “Have you confronted him?”
“Yes. On Christmas Eve. He said that he’s not using drugs.”
Taylor asks, “And what about the girl?”
“I didn’t really go into that.”
“Why not?” questions Taylor.
I respond honestly, “I guess I don’t really want to know the answer.”
Yvonne nods with understanding. She asks, “Have you prayed about it?”
“Yes, but I haven’t heard from the Lord.”
She continues, “Well, I can’t really tell you what to do, but let’s get in agreement in prayer.”
It seems that praying with one another is becoming a bit of a habit with us, and that is a good thing. I feel myself releasing some of this burden. I’ve been carrying this alone for so long that I didn’t know how much it was crushing my spirit. When I join hands with Taylor and Yvonne, I can feel them both squeeze gently, imparting their strength where mine is nearly gone.
Yvonne prays, “Jesus, we come to You in Your name, praying for Pam’s husband, Troy. We know that when two are gathered together in Your name, You are in the midst. We pray first of all for Troy’s salvation. We ask that You prick his heart and cause him to repent of his sins. Lord, help him to pay attention to his wife and his family. Take the taste for alcohol away and let him use his talents to glorify You. Jesus, we pray for Pam, that she is healthy and stress-free during this pregnancy. Lord, we pray for peace and for the power of Your precious Holy Spirit. In Your name we pray. Amen.”
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