Jake shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t do that. I have too many problems to deal with. I can’t handle adding more.”
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Sam responded. “Think about it, Jake. As loved as Marie is – there’s a reason for that. There’s a reason she’s treated like an angel in this community. She really has a heart of gold. And she’s helped out drifters before. But I’ve never seen her care so much for someone as she has you. She’s really gone out of her way to make you happy. You’ve been drinking here for two months, who do you think has been keeping the tab down?”
Jake sat there for a moment in stunned silence. He hadn’t even thought about the tab. He could have been doing jobs around the saloon to help pay it. Instead Marie had been paying it to keep Sam satisfied. “I… I didn’t know.”
“She is a good woman, Jake,” Sam said, keeping his voice low and leaning toward Jake. “You gotta treat her good, you know? You gotta treat her like a lady. You know, with respect.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He was beginning to feel a lecture was coming on, but Sam turned away with one single nod of his head. He moved off to serve new customers.
He sat there for another ten minutes, deep in thought. A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his stupor. He turned to see Marie’s smiling face beside him. Instinctively, he wanted to kiss her but restrained himself. He was so happy to see her. He was always so aware of her presence when she was near him.
He patted the stool next to him. “Sit down,” he said gently.
Marie took the seat and gestured to Sam to bring her a beer. Jake looked her up and down, admiring her fitted dress. He hadn’t seen anything like it on any other woman and the reason was simple. She’d told him she made all of her clothes by hand and formed her own style. She didn’t care what everyone else was wearing. She liked her style and wore it.
“What are you doing in here?” He was genuinely surprised. “It doesn’t seem like the kind of place you would be comfortable.”
Marie laughed. “Because it’s a saloon? You are kidding.”
“I didn’t know you drank beer.”
“I don’t a lot. I felt like having one today. I didn’t know you were in here, though. I thought you were at the house.”
“I finished the repair on the front porch step.” Jake looked at her to see if she would be proud of him. She smiled.
“That’s great! You deserve a break then!”
“It’s nice to have you in here to talk to,” Jake said, swallowing his beer with a smile. “I only talk to Sam. I watch the people come and go.”
Marie nodded. “I like it in here. If I want to drink and talk to people, this is where I go.”
Jake sat for a moment, thinking about how strange it was that her presence made him feel better inside. He looked at her. “I was thinking earlier about how good you cook. Your food is delicious. You have a real ability there.”
Marie grinned wide, accepting the beer from Sam with a nod and “thank you”. She took a sip before saying, “I take my recipes from a book my mother gave me. All of the recipes are from her mother and some of her own. I haven’t added any of my own. I probably won’t. I like what they’ve given me too much.”
“That must be that huge book you pull out sometimes. I see you reading it at the kitchen table a lot.”
Marie nodded. “It makes me feel good to use recipes my mama and granny used to make. It feels like a connection to them.”
“ Do you have any family here in Wickenburg?” Jake noticed when Marie’s face fell and wished he hadn’t asked the question.
“I have no family left alive. I am alone.”
Jake felt like a hot knife had pierced his chest. He felt like an insensitive jerk. He wanted to make up for it immediately, but didn’t know how he could. “I’m sorry, Marie. I didn’t know.”
“I have fond memories of them both. And my papa, too. But I have been on my own for half my life now and there is no going back is there?” She swallowed two big gulps of the beer, surprising Jake. He stared at her as she drank, thinking she was going to be drunk quickly. He never saw her drinking, so she couldn’t have a tolerance for the alcohol.
He thought he might have to carry her back home if she didn’t slow down.
He pictured holding her in his arms and carrying her back to the house. It wouldn’t be so bad. She was small and light. He wouldn’t mind having her that close to him, either.
“I’d like to try every recipe in that book. From what I’ve had so far, I know they gotta be good.”
Marie noticed how he turned the subject back to the book and food. “You are making me hungry talking about it.” She laughed.
“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with being hungry. Just gotta get something to eat. I’m sure Sam’s got something he can cook up, doesn’t he?”
“I don’t eat here.” Marie gave him a wink. “I just come here for the beer.”
Jake let out a loud guffaw. He never would have expected Marie to be that way. “Are you drunk?” he asked, still laughing. “I wouldn’t be surprised, even though you only had one. I never see you drink.”
“You have only had rum at the house,” Marie said, finishing off her beer and setting the glass near the other side of the counter so it was closer to Sam as he passed. He lifted the glass to her questioningly and she nodded. “But just one more, Sam. I don’t want to make Jake carry me home.”
Her words sent a chill through Jake. “I was thinking about that just a minute ago!” he exclaimed.
“I guess we’ve been spending too much time together then.” Marie folded her arms on the bar and smiled at him.
He nodded. “That’s got to be it.” He’d been thinking about how he was so used to seeing her that it would feel strange if she wasn’t around. He’d been changed forever.
He scanned her profile and wondered what the future would bring. He was always one step away from being thrown out on his ear and he’d have to start all over again. Probably have to leave town since everyone loved Marie so much and would know it was his fault from the beginning.
He’d already hurt her once. He didn’t want to do it again. However, he knew himself, and he would probably end up hurting her many more times before it was all over.
Marie started a conversation with Sam and Jake just listened. They had obviously become good friends over the years. Sam made her laugh and smile. Jake liked seeing her face when she was smiling. It was so much prettier than when she was upset about something.
Contrary to what he kept being told, Marie was not an angel. She had a good heart and wanted to give to others, but living with someone reveals who they are inside and she had somewhat of a mean streak.
At least that was Jake’s assessment of her. Ninety percent pure, ten percent evil.
He looked at her smiling profile, wondering if he could ever trust himself to love again.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LUNCH AT ANNIE’S
LUNCH AT ANNIE’S
Alice sat in the other chair at the table and smiled at Marie. “How have you been, Marie?” asked Alice. “I’m so glad you are having lunch with us today.”
Marie smiled back at her friend. “I’ve been all right. How are you?”
“Good. We haven’t had any problems at the ranch for a while. How are things with Jake?”
Marie shrugged. “The same, I guess.”
“You confronted him, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“Well, tell me what he said. Please?”
Marie chuckled. Alice laughed aloud. “I know,” she said. “I’m being awful. Such a gossiper. I am just curious. You know I care about you and with it being Adam’s cousin we’re talking about, I feel like we are somehow connected in this.”
“He smoothed it over and said what I wanted him to say. At least what he thought I wanted to hear.”
Alice shook her head. “It sounds like he’s figured out that’s the key to keeping you appeased.”
Marie nodded. “I think so, too. All I wanted from him was to hear the truth. I wanted to be told the truth. Now I can’t trust anything he says to me. I don’t want to live like that.”
“Tell him to leave your house. You can do that anytime, you know.”
“I know, I know. But I can’t. He has nowhere to go.”
“He is a grown man. He can take care of himself. He doesn’t need you to babysit him.”
Marie listened to Alice, a look of concern on her face. She had only told a few friends of her predicament and all of them had told her the same thing. Tell him to leave. However, she had developed feelings for him that forced her hand every time. It both frustrated and exhilarated her. The possibilities for the future were endless.
“You need to take a stand, Marie. If you are not happy having him in your home, make him leave.”
“We had a wonderful conversation at Sam’s last week.” Marie sat back when her food was set down in front of her, a bowl of potatoes, a big slice of ham and a side of carrots. “Thanks, Annie.” The young girl, the daughter of the owner of the small café, nodded and bounced away energetically.
“You did?” Alice shook her head. “Oh, Marie, you are so easily fooled by him.”
Marie nodded. “I know. I am.”
“Well, stop it.” Her blunt response made both women laugh.
“I don’t know how,” Marie said honestly. “It upsets me.”
“You need to put up your guard. You are a good woman and don’t deserve to be treated with dishonesty and disrespect.”
“I know. I’ve been told that by a lot of people. Even people who don’t know the situation I’m in. And I’m working on being as strong as I can be. But sometimes I’m just weak and can’t help it.”
“You believe him because you want to believe him. Not because he deserves to be believed.”
Marie nodded. “You’re right, of course.”
“Does he often lie to you?”
“It’s not that he lies to me,” Marie said, thinking about it. “Although yes, I have caught him lying about things. And it only took once for me to question everything. But we are not in a relationship, we are not courting or anything. He doesn’t care about me that way. I’m certain of it. He thinks that if I ask him simple questions, I’m overstepping my bounds.”
“What questions do you ask him?”
“If he is leaving the house, I might ask him where he’s going. He acts like he doesn’t want to tell me. It is annoying. It’s not that I’m trying to interrogate him. I’m just curious. Is that so bad?”
“No, of course not. Now you don’t trust him at all and you are feeling taken advantage of. You have to take a final stand. You have to tell him exactly how it is and if he isn’t willing to take it further, he needs to leave your home.”
Marie nodded. “I know. I really do.”
“Do what you need to do, Marie.” Alice tried to sound encouraging, but to Marie, it only sounded like empty words. She couldn’t do what she needed to do, what was probably right to do, because her heart wouldn’t let her. No matter how much her brain yelled at her, her heart remained steadfast and strong. She would not be able to make him leave. He would have to leave of his own accord.
It wasn’t the right thing for her. But what could she do? She had allowed herself to develop feelings for a drifter. Everyone knew that was the wrong thing to do. Drifters never stayed in one place for long. They were always on the move, going from one place to another, breaking hearts and using up anyone that crossed their path. Marie had helped other drifters and sent them on their merry way. Why was she unable to do that with Jake?
She felt like a fool.
A few minutes later, Annie brought a plate of food to Alice, who had chosen a chicken lunch instead of ham. Adam arrived moments after she got her plate. She stood and they placed kisses on each other’s cheeks. “Hello, dear,” Alice said. “I’ll give you a bit of my potatoes if you’re really hungry.”
Adam smiled. “Thank you, honey. I can wait ‘til my food comes.”
“Have you talked to Annie?”
He nodded, turning his eyes to Marie. “It’s good to see you, Marie. How are you doing?”
She heard an edge in his voice and knew that the moment he saw her, he thought of Jake. She didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. One thing was for sure, it was the way both of them were looked at by everyone in Wickenburg. As if they were a real couple. Marie felt a stab of anxiety in her chest, but put on a smile for Adam. “I’m doing well, thank you.”
“And how is my cousin? Is he still living with you?”
The bluntness of Adam’s questions did not surprise Marie. She knew he was that kind of man.
“He’s still there, yes. He’s doing… well… the same. I don’t know. He is only sometimes open to talking with me. He stays by himself a lot.”
“He is a strange character. I can tell you some stories from my family over these last ten years or so. And since he lost his wife and his home, he’s been the kind of man you don’t want to marry your daughter.”
“Adam!” Alice chided her husband sharply. He looked at her.
“I am only telling the truth.”
“Perhaps we should not be talking about the man behind his back.”
Adam raised his eyebrows, giving his wife a quizzical look. “Are you trying to tell me that you have not been talking about him since you arrived today? And tell me, who was it that passed the news along to Marie that Jake is somewhat of a scoundrel?”
Alice shook her head. Her cheeks burned in her embarrassment of his honest words. “I know. I have not been blameless here. But maybe it’s time we stop and just let things run its course?”
Marie looked at Alice. “I don’t want to turn a blind eye to it. I don’t want you to turn a blind eye. I need to know the truth of the situation so I don’t end up looking like a fool. Not that I don’t already.”
“You don’t look like a fool to me,” Adam said. “I don’t like the way he is. That doesn’t mean it’s a reflection on you. The only thing I see is that you are a kind-hearted woman with a high tolerance for bull-hockey.”
Marie and Alice both giggled. He gave them both serious looks.
“I am not concerned with what happens to Jake or whether or not someone is talking about him. I am concerned by the things he does that make people talk about him. If he would straighten up, he would not be mocked or talked about. While he continues his behavior, he’s going to be talked about. And who better to talk to than the woman who lives with him?” Adam shook his head, focusing his eyes on Marie. “I don’t know why you did or why you are still allowing him to live there. You can do better. You do know that he is at Horse N Saddle every night, don’t you?”
Marie had suspected that was where Jake disappeared to, but had never said anything to him about it. “I really figured as much,” she responded lamely.
“It’s not good for a man to act like that. Has he been working around the house?”
Marie thought about the few chores Jake had done and how he complained while he was doing them. She could often hear him outside working on a project, cussing like there were no other words in the English language. It amused her. She never told him that it amused her because she was afraid being aware he was doing it would stop him.
“He fixed the porch step last week. He does work around the house sometimes. But with his arm broken for so long, his options were limited.”
“We just don’t see him being good for you, Marie,” Alice said. “We… well, I know I can speak for myself when I say that I don’t have anything really against him. I just don’t think he deserves you.”
“Not right now he doesn’t, anyway,” Adam said. His wife and Marie both looked at him.
“What do you mean, right now?” Alice asked.
“Maybe he… maybe he can improve himself,” Adam said. Both women looked at him in surprise.
“It wouldn’t have occurred to me that you’d even t
hink that’s possible,” Marie said. “You have very little good to say about him.”
“He’s got his talents and he’s got his flaws. We all do. It’s just his flaws outweigh his talents.”
Marie shook her head. “You are talking in circles. I don’t understand you.”
Adam paused before he said, “I think he has potential. That’s all I can say. I think if he was to straighten up, he would be a fine man.”
It was the first praise Marie had heard from the man. Adam Collins was well-respected by everyone in town, including her. He was strong and intelligent, the kind of husband every woman longed for. “I agree,” she said quickly.
Adam nodded. “Of course, you do, Marie. It’s a positive thing and you want to believe all the positive things about him you possibly can. I understand what you’re feeling. Well, maybe I don’t. But after Holly died, I thought I would never find love like that again.”
“You didn’t have to wait long.” Marie regretted the words as soon as she said them. She hurried to continue. “I am not trying to offend or insult you. Either one of you. But it was as though you two were meant to be. After… after I lost my husband, I didn’t even think about being with another man. As far as I was concerned, my life was over.”
“Oh dear, I didn’t know you thought that,” Alice exclaimed, shaking her head. “You thought there was nothing left to look forward to.”
Marie nodded. “I gave up and just started helping other people because I had nothing left in my life to take care of or be concerned about.”
“What about you?”
“I’ve thought that, too. But it is easier for me to just… to just…”
“Let it go.”
Marie looked at Alice, nodding. “I don’t like confrontation.”
“Neither does Jake,” Adam said. “I could tell when we had our argument and I made him leave the house.
“He’s definitely not a fighter.” Alice confirmed what the two of them were saying.
“The problem with knowing that someone can be a better person,” Marie said quietly, twisting her spoon through her potatoes. “Is that they have to do it. I could try to change someone else until the end of time and it typically will not happen. People change for themselves. Not for someone else.”
Saved By An Angel Page 10
