“Now, do you know what I speak of?” he asked, with a psychotic smile illuminating his face.
I nodded my head, “My mind.”
“Good,” he replied, as he placed his index finger to his temple. “This flaw will take you into the depths of your consciousness. You get to see all the chaos that lives within, all that you’re constantly fighting, constantly imprisoning. Even the happiest of people cannot handle facing their true self. Less than a handful of people have survived this test and most of them come back quite damaged. I’m not sure you can become any more damaged, but I also don’t see you lasting more than a matter of minutes in there. You see, it’s not that people aren’t good or strong enough; it’s that on the inside so many of us just have this innate desire to die. Andrew couldn’t resist.”
Caro’s head shot up at Franklin’s last statement, “It was you. I thought . . .”
“Thought what?” Franklin inquired, “You’re the truth discerner, what lie did you allow yourself to believe?”
Franklin’s bodyguard raised his gun to Caro.
“Nothing. . .” Caro said, standing down.
He pulled the syringe out and stepped toward me. Every molecule of my existence resisted.
“Wait, no, don’t do this,” I said, squirming in my chair, pulling at my restraints.
“Sit still, Danielle,” Franklin said, attempting to grab my arm. I jerked it as far as I could in its confinement. He leaned in closer and I drew my head back and slammed it forward, colliding with his.
“What the fuck!” he shouted and gripped his forehead, “Can I get some fucking help or are you just here for the show?”
Franklin’s bodyguard stepped forward and gripped me from behind, steadying my arms and shoulders.
“Carolina, get her wrist,” Franklin said. Caro stood motionless. Franklin jerked his head over at Carolina and screamed, “Carolina, get her right now or you’re next!”
She walked over and held my wrist down against the arm of the chair.
“Just - just let me go. I won’t cause you any trouble. I won’t help Law. I’ll just disappear, you won’t hear from me again,” I pleaded.
“I don’t believe you,” Franklin said, planting his knee on my forearm and checking the needle.
“Caro, please don’t let him do this. Please, please, I am begging you,” tears began to cascade down as I shattered all my integrity in hopes to be spared from this torture.
“Caro can’t help you,” Franklin said and pierced my skin with the needle, “The fear on your face is well placed, Danielle.”
I could feel the substance enter my blood stream. As it did, Caro gripped my hand tightly and mouthed the words ‘Be strong’.
Chapter Seventeen
The Darkest Place
I watched Franklin, Caro, Katia, Franklin’s guard, and the hospital become frozen in time. A dark gray hue swept through the room, casting shadows of dark ash over the entire environment. I looked down at my feet to see the ash of the room seemed to be gathering like sand beneath my feet and fell through the floor in a spiral fashion like an hourglass. The ashen figures fell straight to the ground in a puff of gray. Just as the soot began to create a haze in my vision, I felt the floor give way underneath me.
I felt my limbs become freed from the chains that bound me to reality. I fell through a tornado of cold darkness. Coarse sand whipped at my skin like pebbles of glass. I could feel it peeling layers of skin off as each grain ripped at my flesh. I closed my eyes and cried out in pain but no sound was audible through the deafening winds. I gasped for air and reached for anything to halt this free fall.
The winds began to slow and my arms were forced to my sides, as if some force was holding them in place. The noise died down until there was silence. I attempted to pry my eyes open, having no desire to face the catacombs of my mind.
As my eyelids opened, I saw light. I prayed that I had simply retreated to the resting place for my soul, but as my eyes adjusted, I knew this was false hope. I was staring up at a florescent light.
“Danielle, so good to see you,” came Franklin’s voice to my left.
I glanced over. My surroundings were drained of color and everything presented itself in black, white, and various shades of gray. As my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I understood where I was. My old room at the hospital. Franklin sat in a chair in the corner, next to the window. I lay in my bed. I attempted to sit up, but felt resistance. I looked down to see my arms and legs bound to the bed once more.
“Don’t bother, you’re stuck here,” he said, pulling the curtain away from the window and peeking outside. As he did, I watched colors light up his face, reflecting the beauty of the outside world.
The room was similar to what I remembered, yet different and dreamlike in nature. It was a twelve by twelve room with a bed, a window, white brick walls, and white linoleum tile. As I lifted my head to get a better look around, I noticed some differences. There was a beautiful wooden door, not one that would be found at the hospital. It had intricate designs woven into the wood. There was no handle, simply a key in the middle, sticking out. I squinted my eyes, hoping to make the color return to the room, and my attention fell to the end of the bed by my feet.
“Grah ahh arh arh!” came a ravenous cry from my feet, causing me to jump backward in my bed as much as possible. I moved my feet up and positioned myself on my elbows.
“What the fuck is that?” I shouted, glancing down at a black metal cage with a terrifying creature inside.
The creature was the most unusual thing. I tried to place it, but its figure shifted continuously from the form of some sort of ravenous dog, to some sort of lanky beast, to something almost demonic in appearance.
“Oh, that?” Franklin said, rising from his chair. He grabbed a blanket from the chair and proceeded across the room. He tossed the blanket over the cage. “That’s just that dark thing inside of you that you can’t control. The thing I helped you keep in its rightful place.”
As Franklin proceeded back to his seat, the noises under the blanket became more faint. I silently thanked him. He glanced out the window again. As he did, his face lit up once more.
“Danielle, you must see how beautiful it is outside,” he said.
“I would love to, but. . .” I said, lifting my hands in my restraints.
“Well, there’s the exit, you can simply leave,” he said, motioning for the door.
“What’s through that door?” I asked.
“You might call it salvation, peace, contentment. Others would call it death,” he said emotionlessly.
“I’m fine here,” I said.
“But they’re all waiting for you,” he replied.
“Who?”
“All of them, they’re down there right now. They’re down there happy, laughing, at peace. Your father, your brother, and your mother.”
I lifted my head off the bed, “My mother? My mother is dead.”
“No, Danielle, she’s not. She doesn’t exist in this life anymore, but surely you can’t believe she’s dead. She’s right there,” he said, pointing a finger towards the window. “Oh, no. Now they look worried. They’re looking for you. They need you there with them.”
“But I can’t move,” I said, struggling once more.
“But you chose to be here. You didn’t have to come. You admitted to a crime you didn’t have to, left your family. Even when you had the opportunity to go back, you didn’t. You abandoned them.”
“I had to,” I said with doubt.
“Who would’ve know what you did. Oh no—” Franklin said, halting his conversation and standing up to look out the window. “They’re coming for them.”
“Who? What do you mean?” I fought my restraints harder but felt them binding tighter.
I glanced down and saw the wraps that bound my arms and legs had transformed into pale white snakes with black eyes. They twisted their bodies and ensnared my limbs in vice grips.
With their simple expressions, I could almost notice a look of satisfaction as I struggled.
“Danielle, you must go now! You must protect them, don’t make the same mistake as before. They need you to be there for them!”
I shook my head as I continued to struggle, “It wasn’t a mistake. I couldn’t take care of them.” The snakes tightened their grip, piercing the skin as blood poured onto the bed, “I was just a kid. I needed to get help; I needed to take care of myself.”
I heard the sound of water leaking and saw streams of water begin to run down the walls. I could hear the walls of the institution bow at the force. They shuddered and waved against the pressure like plastic.
I could hear the creaking of hard wooden beams. The sound rolled from one side of the room to the other. As my eyes followed the noise across the room, the walls burst like black balloons, creating waves of dark liquid that enveloped the room. I was ripped from the bed and swept away with the current.
I outstretched my limbs as I felt the dark waves knocking into me at all angles. I reached out and felt my body thrust downward, then I was head over heels in the undertow.
As the waves swelled and then fell with one final crash, I felt the dark liquid rescind. I lay still for a moment, expecting the water to rush in again. I pushed my face off the surface of the flood to find that clumps of mud drenched my arms. I glanced up to find a wall of round rocklike bricks facing me. I rolled over into a sitting position, and turned my head from left to right, then back again, finding myself encompassed in a wide cylinder of these bricks.
“Danielle!” came an echo of a shout. “How you doing down there?”
Above me, I saw light shining at the top of the cylinder.
“Not great . . .” I sighed to myself.
“Why don’t you pull yourself up out of that well? Here!” he said and flung down a long thick rope that suspended in the air, leading to the top. The bottom of the rope landed at my feet.
I looked up at the rope and grabbed it with my hand. I gave it a hard tug to ensure it was actually capable of withstanding my weight. It didn’t budge, nor sway, when I pulled at it.
“Grrrrrrr,” I heard a low growl from behind me and turned around. It was that same cage from the hospital room, still covered with the beast hidden inside. I quickly diverted my attention from the beast, not wanting to provoke it with my curiosity.
I paced the bottom of the well, determining my best possible strategy for escape. My feet sloshed in the mud as I surveyed my surroundings.
“I guess there’s only one way out,” I said.
“Two ways, actually,” came a voice from behind me. I turned quickly to see Franklin materialize behind me, “You failed to notice this door.”
He displayed the wooden door with the key from before.
“It requires very little effort to simply turn the key and walk through it,” he said, his hand inches from the key, as if he himself was tempted.
“After you,” I said, folding my arms. He pulled his hand back into a fist and smiled.
“Well, if you’re so strong, then, by all means, take the difficult way out,” he sneered.
“I intend to,” I said, turning from him and gripping the rope. My foot slid in the mud which seemed to become deeper by the minute.
I yanked hard to try and pull myself up on the rope but found myself weighed down, as if I was dragging hundreds of pounds on my back.
“You didn’t think you could just climb to the top, did you? Would you look at that?” Franklin said, looking toward the ground. I glanced at the floor and saw several dodecahedron shaped, glowing orbs the size of human skulls strewn about the bottom of the well and soaking into the mud. Each one of them had a metal chain attached to it. The orbs glowed a crimson red through glassy material and faded in and out continuously, in a pulsing beat.
“What the. . .” I said, following the chains of these orbs, and realizing they were clamped into my skin, like giant fish hook piercings.
“You see, all those grudges, all that anger and hatred are weighing you down. How much are you willing to forgive in order to live?”
I stepped my foot back down from the rope, finding my foot almost fully immersed in water.
“Oh, better hurry and decide,” Franklin said, disappearing, and then reappearing at the top of the well, “But if you feel like giving up, remember there’s always the other door.”
I reached my hand into the water, grabbed one of the orbs, and found where it attached to my left arm. As I picked it up, the inside of the orb lit up, and I heard the voice of Grandma Elizabeth.
“I gave you my gift, knowing it would destroy you,” came the echo of her words from inside.
I surveyed the orb, knowing that in order to lose the weight of these grudges I would have to let them go, let them fall into the darkness forever. I would no longer be able to hide behind these things, never use them to justify my actions again.
“You were just a crazy, sad, old lady,” I said, as I unhooked the chain from my flesh and let it sink to the bottom of the well.
I grabbed another and picked it up. It was Caro.
“It was you or me, I had to do it,” Caro’s voice echoed. I pulled the hook from my left side and let it sink to the bottom.
I grabbed two more as the water began to rise faster.
“I swear, I didn’t know what was going on,” called Cindy’s voice.
“I should’ve been there for you guys. I knew something was wrong,” said my father’s voice.
“I knew you were sick and I manipulated you to get what I wanted,” said Joyce’s voice.
I unhooked each, one by one, from my right leg, one from my left shoulder, and one from my thigh. I could feel the weight falling into the depth of the water. I looked over at the rope again. Four orbs still dangled from my body, but the water was rising and I needed to make progress.
I gripped the rope and began pulling myself up, slowly. The weight was much lighter, but it was still nearly impossible to pull myself up. The chains clashed against each other, as I made minimal progress.
“Oh, you’re going to have to let go of more than that if you want to make it out of there,” called Franklin.
I reached for another one.
“I gave up. I was a coward. I just couldn’t face the world,” came the voice of my mother.
I held the orb for several moments. It wasn’t that I wasn’t ready to let go. I had spent so much time in my mind forgiving my mother for leaving that I had no hesitation in the idea of abandoning that hatred. It was the fact that it had been so long since I had heard my mother’s voice. It was the most beautiful sound. I found the chain attached to my chest and unhooked it, then held the rope with one hand and the orb with the other.
“I forgive you,” I said, I holding the orb to me tightly, then I kissed it and let it fall into the water below with a splash.
I reached quickly for another orb, only three left.
“You’re not going to survive this. I am going to break you,” said Franklin’s voice from inside the orb.
“You’re not even worth my hatred,” I said, pulling the hook from my ankle and letting it drop.
I had climbed almost five feet of the twenty-foot hole. I pulled up more, my foot slipping from the rope a little, splashing against the rising water. It had caught up to me. With only two orbs left, I continued my climb with significant resistance, but it was almost manageable now; however, the water seemed to begin to flood in faster to make up the difference.
The water began to cover my ankles as it rose. I looked around and realized that the walls of the well were much closer together than before. If I had stretched my arms out, I could almost have reached both sides at that point.
I had made it over three quarters of the way when my limbs began to give up. My feet slipped on the rope, and the weight of the two remaining orbs tugged at my skin, beginning to rip the flesh.
I set my face ag
ainst the rope to take a moment to rest, to attempt to regain my strength; but, every moment I rested, the water only rose more. It was covering my knees now. And, every moment I rested, the walls closed in more too. I raised my hand to continue climbing, but I could not find the strength and pulled my arm back down. I reached once more and my hand slipped.
My body slid down deeper into the water. Now only my arms, shoulders, neck, and head remained unsubmerged. As the water covered my chest, a force began to push against my body so that it felt as if I were being crushed. I tried to pull myself back above the water.
“Time’s running out, Dani,” Franklin called several feet above me.
I reached down and grabbed one of the final orbs.
“I’m sorry for what I did to Nathan. I swear to God it will never –” I dropped the orb back in the water, drowning out Christian’s voice.
“Not willing to let that one go, huh?” Franklin called with a laugh.
I pulled the other one up.
“I’ve done some terrible things, I’m not sure I’m the person you think I am,” came my own voice from inside the orb. I held it for a moment, thinking of my future, my will to survive.
I ripped the orb from my chest, not even bothering to unhook it.
“Someday you will be,” I said, letting it fall.
I grabbed the rope with both hands and forced myself upward with every last ounce of strength that I had. The walls had continued to close. I was less than a foot away as it rose above my shoulders. The pressure of being crushed by the weight of the water was unbearable. I could feel my organs displacing with the force, I could feel my bones cracking and splintering with the pressure.
“Let me help you,” came a voice, with a hand reaching out to pull me up from the well.
I looked up to see the figure of Christian, standing there with his hand out.
Ascending Shadow Page 19
