By week three I was finally starting to gain strength. I was down to sleeping only ten hours a day. I was partaking in conversation sparingly but able to focus much better. I was starting to become grounded. Though the visions still haunted me, and the darkness was far from dissipated, the light began to show through. They would have me sit outside in the sun and just soak in the rays of light and fresh air in silence.
I would make progress, then backslide. At times I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night with visions from my torture. It terrified everyone in the house, but they were always there to pick me up and point me back in the right direction. After several weeks I began not only to feel better, but stronger. My physical and emotional strength were coming back. Stamina was building. At the fifth week, I was able to be released into the world, to be in contact with others.
“Are you scared?” Caleb asked, sitting next to me on my bed.
“Terrified,” I said, “But I need to do it. I can’t be a prisoner to what I’ve been through. That’s no way to live.”
“I’m glad you stayed strong.”
“I didn’t though. I broke. I wanted to end it,” I said, glancing at Caleb.
“You may have been broken, but you survived. How did you do it?” he asked.
“My shadow, the thing I feared the most, is ultimately what saved me.”
“It’s part of you. You’re resilient.”
“You guys helped make me that way. I don’t know how long I would’ve lasted without everything you guys have taught me. It’s like you were there with me.”
“I’m scared to think what would’ve happened if Caro didn’t turn on Franklin.”
“Fucking Caro, the mystery of the century. I do have less of a desire to kill her,” I said.
“Well, I sure hope so,” Caleb said, lifting his eyebrows.
“Why do you say that?”
“Cause she’s going to be staying with us, her and that other one too.”
“Katia? Are you fucking kidding me?” I said, letting the back of my head hit the wall.
“They’re not so bad. Katia seems nice. Caro’s actually quite terrifying, to be honest.”
“Law’s always one for second chances.”
“I just can’t wait to be back to good again. I’m not sure Katia being here will make that easy. That girl, Katia she showed me something that terrified me, something that changed me. Caleb, it shook me to my core. It’s what broke me. If I hadn’t endured everything else they put me through, and they had solely showed me what she showed me, it would have broken me all the same.”
“What was it?”
“I can’t. I can’t talk about it. I fear speaking it into existence. I don’t ever want to think about it again or be reminded of it. So, if Katia is going to stay here, then I can’t. I won’t let what she showed me ever become a reality, at whatever cost. It can never happen. I won’t let it.”
“Okay,” Caleb said, as I zoned out. He placed a hand on my knee, “I’ll let Law know.”
“Thank you.”
“You know, a lot has changed since you’ve been out of commission.”
“What do you mean?”
“The governor exonerated Law. They’re expunging his record. Some state investigation agency took the case and thought there was more than enough evidence to not only remove Franklin from power, but his father, although retired, is going to be disbarred, and Jeff Hooker too. Over forty-five percent of the police department was terminated. Law is set for a special setting to be administered the bar exam. He’s going to be a lawyer.”
“Holy shit, that’s amazing! Why didn’t he tell me?” I asked.
“I think he didn’t want to get in the way of you focusing on getting better. Apparently he’s come up with something he thinks will aid in the healing process.”
“I think just getting back into a normal routine will help me feel better,” I said, “Get back to work, you know?”
“Have you noticed anything different?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with your trigger,” He said.
“I don’t know if I could tell at this point, but why do you ask?”
“Your shadow it’s not confined anymore, your trigger doesn’t work.”
“How do you know that?”
“Tanya your thoughts have been invading her mind since we found you. She says you think some pretty wild thoughts, not to mention some pretty scandalous things,” Caleb said, glancing at me sideways. I smacked him on the arm.
“Well, tell her if she doesn’t like it, to get out of my mind,” I said, and Caleb laughed, “It kind of sucks though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I guess with having the trigger, I felt like I had more control as to when my shadow could manifest, when it was okay, and I could keep it confined. Especially now, I’m not sure I have the ability to control it like I did before.”
“It might take time, but you will. You’re going to be stronger than before.”
“I hope so. I actually have a confession,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“I think you might be becoming my best friend.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” Caleb laughed out loud, “Mission accomplished.”
I smiled at him, “You still annoy me though.”
“I hope I always will,” he said, as his laugh subsided, “You ready for breakfast tomorrow?”
“Everyone’s going to be here?”
“Yup.”
“Caro?”
“Caro too.”
Sigh. “I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.”
I awoke the following morning around seven. Then I did what I had done almost every morning for weeks. I lifted the corner of the mattress of my bed and pulled out the envelope my brother had given to me from my mother. I held it close to my face trying to breath in the remnants of her scent, that had long gone. I yearned to know what the letter said, but knew I was in no state to read it now. So instead I just held it, and imagined the wonderful things it might say, knowing the contents, on the contrary, were likely unsettling. She could blame me for what she did, she could blame Nathan, she could talk about what happened to her, or talk about what happened between her in Christian, maybe she wrote the truth, maybe what Franklin’s illusion showed me was a lie. As dark thoughts began to invade and overshadow my optimism, I hid the envelope back under the mattress.
I pulled myself up from the beside the bed and exited the room to take shower. After weeks of being confined, I wanted to look presentable for my first appearance. As I climbed out of the shower, I sat on the floor for several minutes, letting my strength build to finish readying myself for this ‘Welcome Back Breakfast’.
I grabbed my gray V-neck t-shirt from the counter, as I inhaled the smell of clean and rubbed my face against the soft fabric. I found comfort in its texture. I put it on and grabbed my jeans and slid them on. I blow dried my hair and ran a comb through it. I put a little effort into styling it, as to give the impression that it was supposed to look a mess intentionally. As I ran my brush through my hair, something caught my eye.
I leaned closer to the mirror, studying my reflection for the first time in a long time and pulled a layer of my hair back from behind my ear. Amongst the jet black strands of hair was a blatant streak of white, which seems to have appeared without my knowledge. I touched it to see if perhaps I had something in my hair. It was real, and likely permanent.
I acknowledged its existence and realized it would be a constant reminder of what had happened. I must admit, I found the feature somewhat fitting.
When I finished getting ready, I was satisfied with my reflection. I took a deep breath, ready to make my way downstairs. I opened the bathroom door. Caleb was leaning against the top of the stairs, waiting for me. He smiled as he saw me.
“You clean up well,” he said.
“Yeah, you should try it sometime,�
� I suggested with a laugh.
He reached toward the back of my ear, “I’m guessing you noticed by now?” he asked, referring to my white streak.
“Yeah, thanks for telling me.”
“How do you feel about it?”
“It suits me,” I replied.
“It does,” he said with a smile. He put his hand out towards the stairs, “Shall we?”
“Let’s do it.”
Caleb put his forearm out to assist me down the stairs. I took the steps one at a time, trying to rely on him as little as possible for this feat.
Everyone was in the living area, awaiting my arrival. As I descended the steps, it grew quiet. They stood up from their seats. I breached the bottom step and looked at them nervously.
Out of the crowd, Caro was the first to advance towards me. She stood in front of me, reached for my hands, and held them in hers. Our eyes locked, like they used to when I let her see through me.
“I. . . please forgive me,” she said, stifling tears.
“You tried to kill me, Caro, assisted in torturing me, you turned on me,” I said.
“I regret everything,” she said pleadingly.
“I forgive you I guess if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be standing here now, would I?” Caro looked up at me, “I’m not ready to be your friend, and I don’t know if I ever will be.”
“I understand,” she said, letting go of my hands and turning to walk away.
I grabbed Caro’s hand as she tried to walk away and pulled her toward me to embrace her, “I missed you.”
She gripped me hard, as if she didn’t want to let go. I felt the guilt and regret in her embrace. As we separated, Law stepped towards me.
“It’s good to have you back,” he said, putting his hand out. I shook it.
“It’s good to be home.”
“Yeah, we missed you,” came Rebecca’s voice.
“I missed you guys,” I said.
We took turns exchanging hugs and greetings. There were familiar faces and unfamiliar faces. Almost twenty people filled the living room; it was hard to greet everyone. Sitting on the couch, I recognized a beautiful sight.
“Joanne!” I exclaimed, proceeding to greet her.
“Hi, Danielle. Lawrence invited me to your breakfast and I just couldn’t say no. Everyone’s been so good to me while you’ve been on vacation.”
“Vacation?” I asked.
In the background, Caleb ran his hand back and forth across his neck.
“Ah, yes, of course,” I said, getting the hint.
“How was Alaska?” she asked with a smile.
“It was very dark, very, very dark. I’m happy to be back.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.”
“How have you been?”
“I’ve been just fine. I’ve been staying at an assisted living facility. It’s very nice, lots of people to talk to, and they just love my cooking. Lawrence tells me you work there.”
“Is that right? Well, how cool is that? Now I get to hang out with you whenever I want.”
I finished my greeting with Joanne and found Jude.
“Hey man,” I said.
“Dani, good to have you back,” he said.
“My shadow’s been, uh, quite lonely. You up for some fun?”
“Hell yeah,” Jude said with a grin.
“Good,” I said, giving him a hug.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.
“Looks like you found your way out,” Joyce said.
“Joyce,” I said, and hugged her.
“I knew you were strong enough,” she said, “You’re extraordinary.”
“I’d say it was touch and go for a bit there.”
“You told me once there was something you were missing and you intended to find it. I’d say you’ve found it,” Joyce said. I smiled understanding what she was trying to convey.
I remembered the note she had written me years ago. She insisted that I needed to mature the other side of my soul. She said I needed to be stronger than the darkness, but in order to do so, I would have to delve deep into it, that I just needed to be sure to find the light again. As those words appeared in my mind, I could not help but find a mild appreciation for what I had endured.
“I was stronger than the darkness, but just barely,” I said with a smile.
“Barely is good enough.” She took another step towards me, “Danielle, there’s something in your past that you’re missing as well. Something you once described as a memory you didn’t want to live without, but you’ve been living without it for quite some time now.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.
Joyce glanced across the room, I followed her line of sight. It fell upon a woman. She stood with a look of impatience. The room grew quiet immediately. The crowd parted in a line between the two of us. She stood silently, light brown hair, a perfect tan, and green eyes that gleamed from across the room.
She took a step toward me. My mind ran through a rolodex of memories, trying to place her as she approached me. Nothing was registering. She stopped in front of me, began to reach for my face, and then drew her hand back.
“They told me you wouldn’t remember me,” she said, searching me.
I scoured my memory bank and came across one memory of her, “I’ve seen you before. in the paper?” I said, shaking my head as if the memory didn’t make sense.
“You’re Joyce’s daughter!” I exclaimed, pleased with my connection.
“I am,” she said, nodding her head with a look of disappointment in her eyes.
“Am I missing something?” I asked.
“I wish I could explain to you how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. How much I want to touch you, how much I want to kiss you.”
I was taken aback by this stranger’s admission. I assumed she must be overly grateful for me assisting in saving her life. Maybe this was why Joyce was always asking me questions about my dating life; she was trying to set me up with her daughter. That’s not weird at all.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Stephanie,” I said, holding out my hand.
She took my hand. When her skin contacted mine, I was overcome by a vision drenched in purple.
I could smell the rain, feel it against my skin. I was in a park, standing inches from Joyce’s daughter at the top of a slide. Her makeup running in the rain. ‘Your turn,’ she told me with a smile.
I withdrew my hand from her as the vision dissipated.
“Peyton,” I said, as the name materialized in my mind. She drew her eyes back up to mine and smiled.
Thank you for Taking the time to read Ascending Shadow. If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review. Word of mouth is an author’s best friend and much appreciated. Thank you again, Church K. Calvert.
About the Author
Church K. Calvert is a writer, working on her first series of books. She resides in central Texas, where she is pursuing her legal career, as well as enjoying the thrill of writing. She is a graduate of Texas State University with a Bachelors in Political Science. When she is not writing or working, she explores advocating for such causes as Mental Health, Domestic Violence Prevention, and Mentoring Youth. Her newest venture, is to use her series to bring awareness, and understanding for people living with, and affected by mental health disorders. Through her fictitious perspective in her books, she hopes to shine light on these disorders, for people to gain perspective of the continuous struggle, as well as grant hope and encouragement for those consumed in the internal battle of their mind. She hopes to use the series as a platform to further these ideas, and create a community that offers of mental health support.
If you would like to get in contact with me, please find me on
Facebook: Church K Calvert
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eMail me: [email protected]
Church K Calvert, Ascending Shadow
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