Tracy was terrified. This was the moment she had been dreading since the first time she realized that she was different from other girls on the softball team. And that some teammates were just like her. Times had changed, and she didn’t have to live in secret as a lesbian after high school. Nearby Utica and Syracuse had a pretty good LGBT scene, and New York City was an Amtrak ride away. But this would be the first time she told a family member. She never even bothered telling her mother, because she was so deeply troubled in her own ball of confusion, she didn’t want to throw another unknown into her poor mom’s shrinking capacity to handle any of life’s complications. She didn’t tell Grandma or Aunt Peggy, but she actually had a feeling that Aunt Peggy may actually be a lesbian, even if she didn’t realize it. Yet. But telling her father would be a big moment for her and Heidi. She knew how most of the people in the old Bronx neighborhood thought about progressive social issues. She even heard Grandma slip and use the N-word or the F-word or some of the other capital-letter words not used in polite society anymore. But Grandma was from that old generation where those words were part of family gatherings and jokes were told about ethnicities and sexuality. Even in mainstream entertainment.
She had no idea where her father fit into that old-versus-new world. He was a cop for Christ’s sake! Being judgmental was in his DNA. But she knew she couldn’t live her life as a lie, no matter the consequences. She checked with friends, and reactions were about split fifty-fifty as to how parents reacted to the news. But even among the ones that supported their children upon coming out, whether gay or lesbian, there was a common theme of disappointment. But so what? She could certainly handle disappointment. What kid doesn’t disappoint their parents? Unless you’re a brain surgeon, president of something, or have a spouse who adores their in-laws, all parents are disappointed about something. And if her father couldn’t handle it, so be it. Certainly it would be nice if he was cool about it, but the truth of the matter was, she’s only known him for five minutes out of her life, and if she needs to know about any hereditary diseases or conditions he might pass down, she’d probably know about it by now. But as she looked in the full-length bathroom mirror upon getting out of the shower, she could see her mother and her father: in her eyes, her lips, the shape of her legs, her hairline. She is the daughter of her parents and she does sense that deep connection of blood, bones, and soul now more than ever. She did hope he wouldn’t freak out.
Kate knew her way around a vegan, gluten-free, organic, paleo diet cookbook. Paul was in awe of the things she was chopping, mixing, and measuring.
Paul picked up the cook book. “What’s a paleo diet?”
“That’s food that appears naturally. Made by nature.”
“Oh, you mean like pork chops?”
“I guess….”
“You remember Jack LaLane?”
“Vaguely. Didn’t he have an infomercial for a juicer?” Kate asked, chopping away at veggies.
“That’s him! That’s when he was in his 90s, I think. But going back to the 1940s he was out there saying, ‘If man made it, don’t eat it.’ ”
“Same thing.”
It was really the first time Paul felt at home in his new house. The aroma of the food cooking, the neatness of everything in its place, the sight of a woman busy helping make the evening a success, awaiting special guests. He couldn’t help but think of how he had dreams of a day like this when Tracy was born, and he and Marcy were making their home together in the early days of their marriage. He would always flash ahead to the future, wondering what it would be like when Tracy came of age and he and Marcy welcomed her back into their home as an adult. Those dreams disappeared quickly, as if Marcy was bitten one night by a werewolf or a vampire, or as if her body was commandeered by a body snatcher, causing her to become a destructive creature he no longer recognized. And he had just resigned himself to accept the fact that not only did he lose Marcy, but his only daughter was lost as well.
Being there, in that house, soft jazz playing in the background, Kate in a flower-print apron floating around the kitchen like a butterfly, and Tracy coming by to visit had him feeling at peace. Finally. He didn’t think it would ever happen. That domestic bliss he had seen on Leave it to Beaver, and had glimpses of at friend’s houses, seemed a universe away. Or at least another galaxy away. And now, somehow, here he was.
The table was set, the food just about ready, and Paul was like a kid waiting for company to show up on his birthday. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of tires slowly crunching gravel in a driveway.
“They’re here. How do I look?” Paul asked Kate, smoothing his Who t-shirt.
“You look great. Just relax and enjoy.”
Paul walked out to the driveway as Tracy and Heidi were exiting a large Ford F-150 pickup.
“Welcome to the ranch, podners,” Paul said, approaching Tracy, and sharing a warm hug.
“You remember Heidi,” Tracy said as Paul and Heidi hugged.
“Pleasure to meet you again, sir,” Heidi said formally.
“Call me Paul. Let’s go inside. My friend Kate has a vegan feast set up for us.”
Tracy and Heidi watched each other carefully for telltale signs of just when Tracy would ease into “the talk.” Heidi was probably more nervous than Tracy. She had been a Marine for a couple years, and her first year in was before they announced that gays and lesbians could serve openly in the corps, which was a great relief to her. But she knew that once Tracy got through this hurdle of telling her father that she was a lesbian, the wheels would be set in motion that would include their wedding, and her also joining the Marines, which may or may not cause seen or unforeseen issues.
Kate had placed all the food on the dinner table and all were helping themselves. Paul sampled all the vegan fare, but he was the only one with a large NY strip steak on his plate and a can of Guinness. Small talk ensued and all caught up on the whirlwind of activities over the past few weeks. But Paul sensed that Tracy was nervous about something. He kept the conversation lively with funny cop stories and new high-desert adventures, but he had a sixth sense that Tracy was going to wait for a long pause and drop something on him. And there it was.
“Dad, I’m really glad we’re all here. Friends, I mean. The four of us. Because I have something to say. An announcement, I guess you would call it.”
Paul’s mind raced. An announcement? He didn’t expect that. He expected maybe some kind of a confession. Or a request for money. Or some kind of kid-versus-bad-parent lecture. But not an announcement. “Shoot,” Paul said, with a nod and a wink.
Suddenly, there was that familiar sound again: tires crunching gravel. But these tires were going a little too fast, and skidded to a stop.
“Who the hell is that?” Paul said as he rose. A troubled look on Kate’s face told him she might have an idea.
“I did tell Jasmine I would be here this evening,” she said. “But I didn’t exactly invite her over.”
“Well,” Paul said looking out the front window, “she didn’t exactly show up alone, either. That guy Ash is with her.”
Tracy sighed deeply and Heidi held her hand under the table in support.
The front screen door swung open. “I hope we’re not disturbing anything. I didn’t realize you were having guests, or I never would have imposed,” Jasmine said, leading Ash into the house.
“We were just getting ready for dessert. Sit down. Would you like something to drink?” Paul said, mustering up as much politeness as he was capable of, which even surprised him a little.
“I’ll have a beer,” Ash croaked, as he sat on a stool next to the kitchen island.
“Wine for me,” Jasmine said, sitting at an empty chair at the dinner table. “I’ll just pick,” and began sampling the foods on the table, using her fingers. “You should try this, Ash.”
Ash walked over to the table as Kate, Paul, Tracy and Heidi made their way over to the counter to get coffee and homemade brownies.
“Tracy an
d Heidi, come with me, let’s look at that gorgeous night sky and see if we can find any UFO’s,” Paul said, leading them out to the front yard.
The sky was as clear as it could be: black velvet with spots of sparkling light, some twinkling like stars do, and the planets hiding among them, just beaming away with their steady light. And down the middle was the magic carpet of solar systems, glistening in all its glory, the Milky Way. Paul arranged the chairs in the dark so they could look up at the sky. They settled in their seats and quietly watched more and more stars appear as they’re eyes became accustomed to the darkness.
“If you think about it, why would we be the only planet with life?” Paul asked. “If there are billions of galaxies and billions of stars in every galaxy why would we be the only ones in all that?”
“Dad, I’m glad we’re out here. I mean the three of us here, right now, under the stars.”
“Yeah. Me, too. It’s a nice night.”
“No, I mean, the three of us. Dad, Heidi and I are….”
Tracy’s word got stuck in here throat and she paused. Heidi held her hand in the darkness.
“Go ahead, Tracy,” Heidi said, squeezing her hand.
“Dad, I’ll just say it. I’m a lesbian. Heidi and I are getting married. And then, I’m going to join the Marines. Heidi is a sergeant and….
Suddenly screams were heard inside the house. Paul spun around and through the window he could see water gushing from the kitchen sink and shooting up to the ceiling.
“Holy jumpin’ shit! Tracy, this will have wait,” Paul said as he rushed to get back into the kitchen. “But I don’t approve! We’ll talk later,” he shouted, running into the house and letting the screen door slam behind him.
“Dad! What? I knew it! Heidi let’s go! This is bullshit!”
“No doubt,” Heidi said, now holding Tracy’s hand. “My father did the exact same thing when I came out! That’s their problem, not ours.”
Tracy and Heidi walked towards their truck.
Paul rushed into the kitchen, with water spraying everywhere from the broken faucet. “Damn! And I just fixed that! I’ll shut off the main water valve in the front yard!” He said, grabbing a flashlight as he ran outside. He paused when he saw Heidi’s truck in the distance as they drove off. He weakly waved the flashlight towards their red taillights in the distance.
“Shit. I screwed that up. Big league. Tracy in the Marines? No way….” He said, whispering into the night.
After turning off the main water valve, Paul returned to the kitchen. Kate was drying everything with some towels, as Jasmine and Ash sat on stools around the island. There were two empty wine bottles and a half empty bottle of tequila on the counter. Ash’s eyes turned towards Paul like a chipmunk keeping an eye out for a predator.
“I think we better be going, Jasmine. It’s getting late,” Ash said, picking up his weed pipe.
“You can hang if you want,” Paul said, as if he was really telling them to get the hell out by the tone of his voice. “Did I have a can of Guinness?”
“I think Jasmine put it in the fridge,” Kate added.
“No I didn’t. Ash and I need to go,” Jasmine said. Ash looked surprised by her remark. The two of them gathered their things, said goodbye, and were soon kicking up gravel up the driveway.
Paul got his Guinness out of the fridge and took a gulp.
“I’ll help you clean up,” Kate said, gathering things off the counter.
Paul took another swig from his can of Guinness and put it back in the fridge. “No need to. It’s just a few things. I’ll take care of it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“What happened out there?” Kate asked, understating her concern. “And where’s Tracy and Heidi?”
“They had to go. That’s all,” Paul said, containing his anger, but making it clear he was shutting down any further discussion.
“I have an early day. Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk. I want to hear all about it.”
“All about what?”
“Tracy and Heidi.”
“Nothing to discuss,” Paul said, flatly.
Kate shook her in disgust. “Yup. Nothing. Just shut it down. Goodnight.”
He watched her red taillights disappear up the driveway and down the road from the front window. Paul looked at the mess and decided he would just finish the cleanup in the morning. He didn’t feel right; his stomach felt funky and he was a little light-headed. That happens when one’s upset, he thought to himself. He went to the bathroom sink, threw some cold water on his face, and studied it in the mirror. Did he really look like this? Maybe it was his wet skin, or the bad lighting or something he ate, but he didn’t like what he saw. He changed t-shirts, put on some pajama bottoms, and went to bed.
It wasn’t the first time in his life that Paul felt as though the room was spinning. Usually it lasted a few minutes until he fell back to sleep. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t throw up in bed. He knew how dangerous that could be. He sat up on the side of the bed. His bare feet touched the tiles and he was surprised that the floor didn’t feel cold. It actually felt warm, and seemed to be getting hotter. The room stopped spinning, but now the floor was so warm, he reached down with his hand and Ouch! It was hot to the touch. He put on his Indian moccasins that were next to the bed, and noticed there was an unusual light coming though the venetian blinds on the other side of the room, through the window facing the 50,000 acres of federally owned land. He shuffled over to the window, and was reluctant to open the blinds to see what might be on the other side. His mind raced. A fire? Headlights? A spotlight? He steeled himself, grasped the venetian blind cord tightly and tugged it. What the hell? He shouted to no one.
A blinding light, or laser, or light beam came down from the above his house, went across the patio and appeared to be going under the house. Is that what’s making the floor so hot? But what was it? He heard a very low humming vibration that felt as though it was penetrating his bones. Like the Integratron sound bath? He asked himself.
He raced through the house, grabbing his car keys and phone, and went to the rear patio. And there, hovering just above roof level was a light so blindingly bright he could hardly make out what it was. Was it a plane of some kind? A drone maybe? An experimental military chopper or something? No. Can it be? Then it came into focus. A UFO! It had to be! The Integratron was only a couple of miles away. If it truly was the vortex of universal energies, those same energy centers would most likely be under his house as well, right? And attracting UFO’s is exactly why the Intergraton was initially built.
The craft glowed and hummed. Pulsated. It flashed. Signaled? It began to move over the house. Paul ran to the front yard and got in the SUV. The craft was laying down a beam of light on the dirt road. Was he supposed to follow it? Of course. It picked up speed and he followed it.
Sweat was pouring down his face, into his eyes. His hands were like rubber. It took all his strength to grip the wheel as he turned off the dirt road and into the open expanse of the desert on a trail. It was a full moon, so he could see where the trail was leading in the distance. He thought it might be easier to see if he turned off his headlights, which he did. He was amazed at how bright the moonlight was. There were shadows cast across the road from boulders, yuccas, and Joshua trees. He could see desert critters’ eyes hiding off to the side as he whizzed by. They were watching him.
The craft was leading him somewhere down this trail. It came into focus. Is it Morse code they’re flashing? Then strange lettering appeared on its side. Arabic? Greek? Hebrew? Latin! It’s in Latin! Think. Think. Paul struggled with the words: Confiteor. Deo. Omnipotenti. What? Jesus Christ, this can’t be. It’s the Confiteor! From Latin mass!
Suddenly out of nowhere, a creature darted across his path. What is it? A beast? The beast? Paul pulled the wheel to the left sharply onto the rocky hardscrabble and THUD, the Escape SUV went down a wash and WHAM, came to a violent stop in a culvert. The engin
e stalled. Silence. Darkness.
The beast. It’s coming. I knew it. God, Jesus, help me. Help. Me. Help….
During a full moon, Mabel sometimes led a group from the horse rescue ranch, but tonight she was solo. You could actually read a newspaper, it was so bright out, she noted. But thinking she heard something in the distance, she decided she would take a detour off the marked trail and see if there was something unusual out in the hardscrabble and brush. Jerks were always dumping trash out there because they were getting $75 to clean out a garage or a yard, and didn’t want to pay the $25 dump yard fee. She wasn’t frightened venturing out on her own. She had her cell phone and her 9mm Glock just in case anybody was going to mess with her. The moonlight seemed to be glinting off something in the distance and she headed for it.
What the hell is that thing doing in the middle of nowhere? She asked herself, seeing Paul’s Escape stuck in a culvert.
Christ, there’s got to be somebody in there! She galloped the rest of the way, took out a flashlight and shined it inside the SUV. Damn! That’s that new neighbor guy, Paul!
Mabel tied up her horse to a nearby Joshua tree and rushed to the SUV door. It was unlocked but jammed. She managed to pull it open a couple of inches but it wouldn’t budge any further. She went to her saddlebag, and pulled out a multi-use tool that was a combination hammer, axe, and crowbar. She shoved it in the opening and with all her strength was able to get the door open enough so she could get inside. She immediately went for his neck to check for a pulse.
“Thank God!”
Paul was unconscious but breathing. She pushed him back in his seat, clearing away the debris from the exploded air bag. He wasn’t bleeding externally as far as she could tell. She shined the flashlight in his ears, mouth and nose and didn’t see any blood there either. But she was puzzled. Why the hell was he in his pajama bottoms? She removed the keys from ignition and as she was leaning over inside the car, she noticed a phone on the floor sticking out slightly from under the passenger seat. She quickly dialed the most recent number on there. A female voice answered. “Hello?”
High Desert High Page 18
