Shan Presents
A Fistful of Love
A Domestic Violence Anthology
Copyright 2015 by Dominique Thomas, Lucinda John, Mz. Lady P, Destiny Raysor
Published by Shan Presents
All rights reserved
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales or, is entirely coincidental.
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This is a collection of short stories to bring awareness against domestic violence. Domestic Violence is not okay. If you know or suspect that a family member, friend or work colleague is experiencing domestic violence, talk to someone you trust or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (available 24/7/365): 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
A Fistful of Love Table of Contents
Bleeding Love by Dominique Thomas
Heart of Stone by Mz. Lady P
Love Don’t Have to Hurt by Lucinda John
Fatal Attraction: The Love I Once Remembered by Destiny Raysor
Bleeding Love
By
Dominique Thomas
Synopsis
Jess had always been the good girl. Church, school then a little more church was her life. She wasn’t the girl to get asked on dates or even have a lot of friends. She mainly kept to herself until she was noticed by the one guy she had been dreaming about since she hit puberty.
Deon was a force that Jess had no choice but to allow to come in and sweep her away. He was too charming, too handsome, and too tempting. He didn’t have rules and he didn’t let Jess’s young age stop him from getting what he wanted, which was her.
Jess fought him off for as long as she could but finally gave in. Her life seemed to change overnight. She became confident. She was able to get the clothes that she wanted and be the girl that other guys liked and females wanted to befriend. Deon was her king and she just wanted to make him happy.
She went against her parents’ wishes and everything she believed in to be with him and she would have taken on the world for him if she had to. He gave her everything she ever wanted and she found herself so wrapped up in him that she could see nothing else. Her fairytale soon turned into a nightmare once she learned she wasn’t the only girl he was loving. Next were the fights and the drama. Trying to leave Deon became a war that she wasn’t prepared to fight.
What do you do when someone you love so much hurts you? How can you leave them when you can’t even go a day without them? Love is many things but it should never hurt. For Jessenia her life was nice until it wasn’t. She fell in love with a man that really didn’t love her at all and the battle to get back to herself wasn’t going to be an easy one. He said he loved her and she believed him. His type of love was pain most of the time and she started to bleed his love right out of her until one day she noticed the love was gone.
To leave Deon, Jess has to find herself and find her strength. Will she succeed or will she forever be wrapped up in a man that really loves no one but himself?
Prologue
“I can’t do this anymore. It’s gotten too hard,” Jess said looking at Deon.
He stood near the doorway with his eyes on her and a blunt in his hand. This had been their typical song and dance for ten years now but something in Jess’s voice told him that she was for real this time. It worried him and he started to panic. He took a few hits of some of the strongest weed he had while staring at her.
Yeah he fucked up, but he loved her in his own way and he definitely couldn’t see her leaving him to go be with someone else. He’d made her the woman that she now was and because of him, Jess knew what it was like to go out of the country and drive European cars. He had done all of that plus more for her and just because things were bad she was going to leave him? Nah, he wasn’t having that.
“Baby, I know shit got crazy the other day. When I say I won’t behave that way again I mean it. I love you so much ma. I can’t let you leave me. I’m dealing with a lot of shit right now and I need you by my side,” he pleaded in his most sincere tone.
“Deon…” Jess stood up and slowly moved her sore body around their spacious bedroom.
She had just gotten out of the hospital and the only thing on her mind was leaving him. She wanted to go and crawl into her twin-sized bed in her mother’s home and just sleep. Jess wanted to forget the last ten years of her life that she’d had with Deon. She wanted peace and being with Deon wasn’t going to bring her any.
“Look at me. My fucking…my fucking arm is broken. I hate you Deon. I hate you,” she said fighting off her tears. She had given him so many she was surprised to see she even had any left.
“Jess baby,” Deon said staring at her.
Even with the scars, she was still his beautiful Jessenia Nichole. She had pale colored light brown skin with freckles across her face along with high cheekbones and slanted dark eyes. She was more beautiful now than when he’d first gotten with her. His stomach turned at the thought of another man having her, touching her, making her smile and making her cum. The thought alone infuriated Deon.
“Jess, I said I would get some better help. I even called someone new this time. He’s going to give me exercises to do for my anger. I swear when I say I’m not doing that shit again, I meant it. I need you baby. Don’t do this,” he begged.
Deon held his breath as he waited for her to respond. His usually submissive woman was quiet and angry today. She moved with purpose and while he wanted to play it cool, his anger slowly started to fill him. He wasn’t the type to beg and plead but Jess was always able to pull it out of him. Here he was trying to ask for forgiveness and she acted as if she didn’t care. Her attitude was slowly pissing him off. He put his blunt out and walked over to his dresser. Jess had just gotten out of the hospital but if she thought she was leaving him then he was going to put her ass right back in there only this time she wouldn’t be walking out.
“Jess, did you hear me fucking talking to you?” he asked in a deeper voice showing his true self; The Deon that moved through the streets without a problem, the Deon that had put down plenty of people for disrespecting him, and the Deon that had beaten her up plenty of times when she wasn’t acting the way he wanted her to.
“Yes I do and I still feel the same way. My mother is on the way to get me Deon. Please just let me go,” Jess replied trying to pull out a suitcase with one hand.
The thought of leaving Deon gave her this feeling that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She was happy and felt like she was so close to freedom
. Loving Deon was like being in a prison. She had so many rules and was often sitting in the house because he refused to let her go out. Jess just wanted to be happy and she knew that leaving him would give her that.
Click! Clack!
The sound of a gun being cocked made Jess look up. Deon had never pulled a weapon out on her. He handled her with his hands so she was very surprised to turn and see him pointing his favorite Desert Eagle at her with eyes hard as flint.
“Deon,” she said in a shaky voice.
“For ten years we done been together baby. I know I fucked up, I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. I swear I am. Can you just stick with a nigga….your nigga a little while longer? I’m trying Jessenia. We’re a family,” he pleaded calling out her full name. Something he rarely did anymore.
Jess looked at him. Of course they were. That was the biggest reason why she was leaving.
“That’s why I’m doing this Deon. We’ve already shown them so much. Why keep hurting them? Please just let me go,” she said looking him in the eyes.
Deon shook his head refusing to grant her request. How could he let her go? She was his and so were Sima and Matt. Deon would die before he let them go.
“I’m sorry but I have to go. I can’t do this anymore. I deserve better and they do too,” Jess said and started walking towards him.
Deon’s heartbeat suddenly increased as he watched Jess move forward. All of the things he had done to her flashed in his mind and he knew she deserved better but to him, he was the one that could give her that. His finger brushed against the trigger as sweat started to form at the top of his brows. He took a few calming breaths before pulling the trigger.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
“I’m sorry too….”
We accept the love we think we deserve….
Chapter One
2005
“Ugh, so you was staring at that braceface bitch! Nigga are you stupid, look at me!” Tiffany yelled making everyone in the class look to the back of the room. Tiffany’s boyfriend cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his head. He didn’t mind when people were staring at him on the basketball court. What he didn’t appreciate was his girlfriend cursing him out in front of everyone.
“Calm down Tiff before I embarrass yo’ ass,” he warned her in a low tone.
Tiffany shook her head fuming mad. She was the captain on the cheerleading squad and for the last year she’d watched her boyfriend, the captain of the basketball team stare at the class nerd. She was pissed off because no one in the school looked better than her. No one.
“Oh no, we gonna handle this shit right now Mauri. You keep staring at this bitch like y’all got something going on so what’s up? You having sex with her?” she asked loudly.
“Jess please let me go handle her,” Willow, Jess’s best friend said looking at her. Jess looked up wondering where the teacher was. She really wasn’t in the mood for Tiffany or her friends. All year Tiffany had been making her life a living hell.
“Just let it slide, she just looking for attention,” Jess replied making Willow frown.
Unlike Jess, Willow was popular and often talked about because she hung out with Jess. Jess had been her best friend since grade school and would always be her friend no matter the school status. Willow didn’t care about that kind of stuff.
“So what is it? You fucking this braceface, nappy headed, Rainbow wearing hoe?” Tiffany asked standing up. Mauri looked at her and shook his head. He had never seen her act like that before. She was acting extremely jealous of Jess and ghetto as hell.
“I said let it go. Now sit your ass down Tiffany!”
Tiffany jumped but she didn’t let it sway her. She walked to the front of the classroom on a mission. She stopped by Jess’s desk and slapped her hands down onto it hard. Tiffany was tall with a model thin body and heart shaped coco brown face. Her looks screamed pageant queen, good girl, but her attitude scream hoodrat. She was as ghetto as they came.
“Jess this is the last time I’ma tell you. Stop wearing these tight ass shirts to school. You got all of these niggas looking at your broke ass and now that Mauri is, we got a fucking problem. See, he belongs to me and he could never be with an off brand hoe like you. Stupid ass church girl,” she said in a demeaning tone.
Tiffany yanked a piece of Jess’s long, dark hair that was in bad need of a press and pulled it hard. Jess grabbed the first book she had which was a Mathematics book and slapped Tiffany as hard as she could across the face with it. All of the kids in the class jumped out of their seats while Jess and Tiffany began to fight. Willow made sure to throw threatening glares at all of Tiffany’s friends to ensure they wouldn’t jump in the fight. She wouldn’t have thought twice about beating them up.
“Whoop her ass!” Willow yelled as Jess punched Tiffany.
Everyone was shocked to see Tiffany get beat up so easily. She was often the start of a lot of school drama and so everyone thought that she could throw down. In her case, her bark was a lot harder than her bite. Just as Jess pushed Tiffany into the wall not letting up on hitting her in the face the teacher ran into the classroom. He pulled the two juniors apart and took them down to the office. He sat them near the door and had the secretary call their parents. Tiffany wiped the blood away from her nose as the teacher walked away from them shaking his head at their behavior.
“Yeah, you must be fucking him. Fighting me like that,” Tiffany said to Jess.
Jess ignored her and looked straight ahead. Her heart was still racing and she was a little in shock. This was her first fight and she had won. She was so surprised that she started to laugh. The more she thought about herself, the girl everyone called a nerd beating up the head cheerleader, the harder she laughed. Tiffany glared over at her but was too tired and so sore to say anything. She now knew what Jess was capable of so she planned on getting her back with the help of her friends.
“Yeah, okay keep laughing,” Tiffany said in a low voice shaking her head. She knew her reputation wouldn’t be right until she got Jess back.
****
“What were you thinking Jessenia? You don’t fight people ever. Wow I don’t even know who you are,” Jess’s mother ranted as she paced back and forth in front of her. Jess sat on her bed with her knees pulled to her chest. She was itching to take her midday run. She loved to run it was the perfect way to clear her head when life got too rough.
“Jackie calm down. You and I both know that she has been bullying Jess for a while now. I don’t condone my beautiful daughter fighting but I am never against her protecting herself. Hell, the teacher wasn’t there to do it,” Sampson, Jess’s father said looking from his wife to his daughter.
He would never admit it out loud but he was proud of his daughter. She had dealt with a lot of bullying before she finally snapped. He had heard her crying many of nights because of Tiffany and her friends.
“Really Sampson? So God would be okay with her actually putting her hands on someone? Jessenia Nichole stand up we have to pray for your forgiveness,” Jackie said and held out her hand.
Jess looked at her father and he sighed before giving her a slight head nod. Jackie was very religious and she chose to keep God with her and often use him against her family when she felt they weren’t being God-like. It was the way she had been raised and it was the way she had raised her daughter. Jess sighed and slowly got off of her bed. She walked over to her mother and grabbed her hands. Her father watched on with a disapproving glare as Jackie started to pray.
“Heavenly father today I come to you with a heavy heart. Your daughter Jessenia has done awful things Lord. She has taken it upon herself to seek vengeance when you said it was yours, oh God. Please forgive her for she knows not what she does, oh Father. Show her the right way to be. She is the daughter of a king she should act as such. Lord please forgive her. Fill her heart with love not hate, in Jesus name we pray. Amen.”
“Amen,” Jess said swallowing down hard.
Jackie pulled Jess into a hug and
hummed as she rubbed her back. She stayed in a hold with her daughter until her husband pulled gently on her arm. His daughter was in her signature running gear, a pair of dark leggings with a hoodie and runners sneakers. He knew she was itching to hit the pavement.
“Baby let the girl go run. You should be watching that movie with me. I been waiting all week for us to have some time together,” he said smiling down at her.
Jackie could hear Sampson talking but she hadn’t really listened to him as she looked out of the window. She was more concerned with what Jess was about to do. It wasn’t dark but it would be in about an hour. She didn’t like the idea of her baby out in the streets jogging after dark.
“Maybe you should run tomorrow,” Jackie suggested.
Jess frowned while looking at her mother. On the car ride home from school, all she could think about was running.
“It’s not even late,” she countered looking at the wall clock.
Jackie sighed and Sampson walked up on her. He grabbed her hand and she looked up at him.
“Let her go run. She’s had a long day and you know she enjoys this. You should be watching that movie with me that I keep asking you to watch,” he said looking down at her.
“Okay…but don’t stay gone long Jess. Just do a few blocks and come back. It will be dark soon,” Jackie said giving in.
Jess nodded and quickly left out of her room before her mother could change her mind. She stretched in the hallway and grabbed her pepper spray before leaving her home. She took her time building up her pace as she began to jog. Jess lived in Sherwood Forest on the west side of Detroit. Her neighborhood was beautiful but not too far away was another part of the city that could get wild when it wanted to. Jess often ran on the blocks she knew but after fighting Tiffany she felt adventurous. Jess wanted a new route so she hit the ground hard and started running towards Seven Mile and Livernoise.
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